Smearing Memories (Gen, PG)

[pixel_0]

Title: Smearing Memories
Rating: PG
Characters: Dean and mentions of John
Category: Gen fic
Spoilers: “Pilot”
Word Count: 988
Author’s Notes: Written for Prompt 2: “Daddy Issues” for 

Comments

[janissa11]

That was really a very beautiful vignette. Sharp and thought-provoking. Thank you!

[pixel_0]

You're welcome.

"Thought-provoking" is always a great compliment to get on a story, so thank you very much! :)

[_sapphiredreams]

I liked the stream of consciousness. I wasn't really sure what you meant by
he watches the alcohol inside his bottle turn to liquid crystal except that maybe it meant that time was sorta stopping for him as he remembered? Anyway, I loved the sounds that you incorportated into the story. Too many people forget that the world has sounds. :)

[pixel_0]

A little bit of both the idea of time stopping for him and also a visual image, such as when light reflects off liquid inside a bottle and the light hits the drink just right to make it sparkle.

Hee, yeah, can't forget the world has sounds. Must be my inner high school band geek coming out and hitting me on the head so that I remember to write in the sounds. ;)

Thanks!

[mellaithwen]

Oh b-e-a-uuuuu-tiful

-sits on the table as a sign that this night will be one of fury. He hadn’t meant to turn his back like that during the hunt. It really had been an accident. But, when his father yells, he will stand still and wrap his arms-

-around him, and his father pulls him close to his chest, dark stubble buried in his blonde hair. He whispers words of comfort. Words of love. Words of a father-

-who left after all the promises to stay together despite everything. Never leave a soldier behind. He always made them remember their training. Yet, he forgot the most important lesson to save-

-my life. You always have. Couldn’t be anything of what I am today without you. You made me who I am.

Okay a long quote, but ahhh loved how they all tied in, though most were so different and just added to the greatness of the fic :)

[pixel_0]

Oh, good to know all those little thoughts worked out! Those were my second draft. I had my sister read my rough draft of his jumbled thoughts and she outright told me that the original jumbles were just, well, too jumbled and made absolutely no sense. Good to know these worked out. :)

Thanks! :)

[mellaithwen]

Lol! Ah I just post it and wait for the many comments telling me it was too confusing ^_^

[pixel_0]

lol. Oh, I'm way too anal-retentive to do that. It's really annoying sometimes when I'm all, "I should just post this" and the other half of me is going, "No! Wait! Edit it some more!"

*facepalm* Fanfic is driving me to OCD tendencies.

[sugar_bumbee]

He doesn’t thank his father.

But, he doesn’t curse him either

Wow. That right there... *perfect* You capatured Dean with those sentences. I love the veiled bitterness and anger that the piece has through it. Amazing job!

[pixel_0]

I'm so glad that you liked those lines. I almost switched them, but it seemed way too pessimistic to have the "doesn't thank his father" line last. Those lines were the easiest to write; it was writing the rest of the piece that was hard!

Thanks! :)

[allstar12]

You killed my boredom, thank you. I love how you get into Dean's head, and it's perfect. I really like these oneshots you're doing, they're great.

[pixel_0]

Yes! I am a boredom killer! (Okay, I just watched some commercial on TV with the lady from the "Weakest Link" and now I have her saying, "You are the weakest link stuck in my head.)

Oh geesh, I've got to say, getting in Dean's head on this one was so hard. I'm still not really sure how he feels about John. Sometimes, I think he's okay with his dad, and then he turns around and shows these little flashes of such bitterness that I don't know what to think. :P

Thanks! :)

[allstar12]

I can only imagine how hard it is for people to write from his perpsective .. he's not exactly an open book. He's not like Sam, he's pretty closed off and really hard to read, so you never know whether he likes his dad or hates him sometimes. But I think you voiced him really well in this one :)

[pixel_0]

I remember reading a thread awhile back that was arguing that Sam was actually the harder of the two to write. I don't remember exactly why but it had something to do with the idea that he doesn't approve of what he's doing, but yet he does it anyway, also there's a lot of things he says or does that are in conflict with other things.

I don't know, though. I think Sam's easier, but I like Dean better, even though he's such a pain to write. And then I sign up for the psych_30 challenge with Dean. *shrugs* Go figure. I like to torture myself. :P