LOTR RPS: Billy/Dom (friendship), mentions of Billy/Ali
Title: The Beautiful Game
Rating: R (for language)
Disclaimer: I don't own or know Billy Boyd or Dominic Monaghan. I made this up.
Inspired by England's World Cup match against Trinidad & Tobago.
Billy switched off the tv and slowly counted to ten.
The phone rang when he reached one and he glared at it for a moment before reaching to answer it.
Ali bit her lip to keep from laughing and whisked Jack from the room before the poor boy was scarred for life.
"Two nil!" came the self-satisfied cheer through the crackling phone line. "The lads have come good."
"Your lads played like shite you smug bastard. You'll get thrashed by Germany and I'll laugh my fucking socks off."
"Skimming over the fact that you have special socks for fucking, we'll get to the important part shall we? Two nil to us. Trinidad and Tobago, read it and weep. So much for Scotland winning the world cup eh Bill?"
"You're treading a very thin line at the moment my lad, make no mistake."
"Through to the next round after only two games. Do you know how long it's been since that happened?"
"Not bloody long enough let me tell you."
"It's coming home, It's coming..."
"Dom."
"Football's coming home."
"Dom."
"It's coming home, it's coming home..."
"Dommie?"
"Yes Billy?"
"You're singing."
"I'm happy Bill. People sing when they're happy. I'm going to get really pissed now and then there'll be drunken singing."
"If you wake up my son with your drunken singing you can kiss goodbye seven years of friendship."
"Your son isn't seven already is he? Where the fuck was I?"
"Hawaii."
"Right. How is the wee nipper anyway? Ready for the joys of Man U yet?"
"If you ever..."
"You're very sexy when you're angry Bill, has anyone ever mentioned that? There's a little vein in your neck that starts to throb."
"Are you done gloating now?"
"I've barely started."
"Can I just remind you what happened four years ago?"
"It's going to be different though this time. I can feel it."
Billy ignored him. "Can I remind you of the crying and the wailing? Can I remind you of sitting here at two in the morning with you sobbing why? oh God why? into the phone to Elijah and of me having to convince him that no one had died?"
"We're better this time," Dom said in a patronising tone that made Billy want to hit him. "We have Rooney."
"Of course. Sorry I forget that you only need one good player to win a championship."
"If Scotland had one good player you wouldn't forget so often."
"Right I warned you. You're barred."
"Barred from where?"
"Scotland."
"You can't keep me out of Scotland Billy. It's a big country and you are but one wee man."
Billy smothered a grin and shook his head. "You're just setting yourself up for disappointment."
"I'm English. I crave disappointment."
"You're coming to visit as soon as they get knocked out right?"
"Naturally. I'll need you to console me."
"I'll see you a week on Monday then."
"Funny Boyd. Very funny."
"Good night Dominic."
"Good night William."
Rating: R (for language)
Disclaimer: I don't own or know Billy Boyd or Dominic Monaghan. I made this up.
Inspired by England's World Cup match against Trinidad & Tobago.
Billy switched off the tv and slowly counted to ten.
The phone rang when he reached one and he glared at it for a moment before reaching to answer it.
Ali bit her lip to keep from laughing and whisked Jack from the room before the poor boy was scarred for life.
"Two nil!" came the self-satisfied cheer through the crackling phone line. "The lads have come good."
"Your lads played like shite you smug bastard. You'll get thrashed by Germany and I'll laugh my fucking socks off."
"Skimming over the fact that you have special socks for fucking, we'll get to the important part shall we? Two nil to us. Trinidad and Tobago, read it and weep. So much for Scotland winning the world cup eh Bill?"
"You're treading a very thin line at the moment my lad, make no mistake."
"Through to the next round after only two games. Do you know how long it's been since that happened?"
"Not bloody long enough let me tell you."
"It's coming home, It's coming..."
"Dom."
"Football's coming home."
"Dom."
"It's coming home, it's coming home..."
"Dommie?"
"Yes Billy?"
"You're singing."
"I'm happy Bill. People sing when they're happy. I'm going to get really pissed now and then there'll be drunken singing."
"If you wake up my son with your drunken singing you can kiss goodbye seven years of friendship."
"Your son isn't seven already is he? Where the fuck was I?"
"Hawaii."
"Right. How is the wee nipper anyway? Ready for the joys of Man U yet?"
"If you ever..."
"You're very sexy when you're angry Bill, has anyone ever mentioned that? There's a little vein in your neck that starts to throb."
"Are you done gloating now?"
"I've barely started."
"Can I just remind you what happened four years ago?"
"It's going to be different though this time. I can feel it."
Billy ignored him. "Can I remind you of the crying and the wailing? Can I remind you of sitting here at two in the morning with you sobbing why? oh God why? into the phone to Elijah and of me having to convince him that no one had died?"
"We're better this time," Dom said in a patronising tone that made Billy want to hit him. "We have Rooney."
"Of course. Sorry I forget that you only need one good player to win a championship."
"If Scotland had one good player you wouldn't forget so often."
"Right I warned you. You're barred."
"Barred from where?"
"Scotland."
"You can't keep me out of Scotland Billy. It's a big country and you are but one wee man."
Billy smothered a grin and shook his head. "You're just setting yourself up for disappointment."
"I'm English. I crave disappointment."
"You're coming to visit as soon as they get knocked out right?"
"Naturally. I'll need you to console me."
"I'll see you a week on Monday then."
"Funny Boyd. Very funny."
"Good night Dominic."
"Good night William."