Insult of the war

[pinkleader]

So, one of my less than fond memories from Pennsic is the stranger who said "I see you are now working on your next project..." pointing to my abdomen.
Stunned and confused for a second, I was left to reply only with "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat."

First of all, I was wearing an Italian gamurra with an apron on. Pic. Hello, high-waisted style with

Comments

[nq3x]

After opening ceremonies, the folks in my camp started calling my home kingdom "France". Fitting.

My insult follows. Picture dork in shiny black polyester "Elizabethan" over white Danskin dance tights, in New Balance trainers. This douchenozzle walks into Reconstructing History, looks at the Elizabethan Loose Gown pattern, and starts snarking about how he's "never seen that before" so it must be farby. I pull out the historical notes and refer him to the bibliography.

"Here, sir," I said. "Janet Arnold's Patterns of Fashion and Queen Elizabeth's Wardrobe Unlock'd."

"Who's Janet Arnold?"

[concussed silence]

"Huh?"

"Who's Janet Arnold?"

"Er. Um. I suggest, sir, that you hie yourself to the booksellers and look her up. She's only the most widely-cited resource on Elizabethan clothing."

Thank God he toddled off; I was this close to throttling him. Ask Miguel - he was witness.

Lande Snarke Ye Seconde

[pinkleader]

I HEARD about that!
He sounds precious.
An "Elizabethan" who doesn't know Janet Arnold is like a modern fashionista not knowing Prada. Unthinkable!

[kass_rants]

The stupid really don't have to wear signs. They're so easily identifiable anyway!

[nq3x]

Sweetie, this guy was so far from haute couture that he shops in American Eagle. I wanted to beat him to death with a Blahnik pump, but I'd hate to waste such a fine shoe.

[pause]

Dear God. Did I actually just write that?

[florentinescot]

Oh. My.

I believe my response would have been to look him up and down and say "and I can see that you're still stoopid."

*or*

"Yes. You're the Father. When do I start getting Child Support Checks!"

[pinkleader]

Sadly it was another "lady"

[florentinescot]

Oh, that's even worse. She should know better.

My inner snark would have asked "and when are you due?"

[spanish_peacock]

While dressed in my full Moorish glory.....san turbin but with a black scull cap, I was called generic medieval guy. This knob jockey was of course wearing steel toed boots, sweat pants and t-tunic made from a bed sheet.

Bobs visitor was indeed entertaining.....I thought after he left, the poor Lande Snarkes head was going to explode......he just kinda stood there with this strange look on his face......and a twitch

[pinkleader]

'Cause tiraz bands are so "generic medieval guy"

Have you seen Corby's pictures proving that the white tube sock is the real Bloodguard badge?

[spanish_peacock]

Haven't seen that one

[pinkleader]

http://gallery.mac.com/mdawson#100151/P1010938&bgcolor=black

[pinkleader]

Everyday they should pray to god in thanks for their autonomic nervous system that keeps them breathing...

Except they probably forget.

[spranglady]

Ya know, sometimes having the 'expecting' belly comes in handy. You have no idea how many times I've been able to cut to the front of the bathroom line in public places, simply because folks assume I've got someone using my bladder as an easy-chair.

Not very good for the ego, but wonderful for not having bladder issues. :D

Seriously, though... everyone knows that unless you are witnessing the birth, you never ask a woman if she's pregnant! Sheesh! (Although when it happened once with Sal standing there, he said, "She's not, but I am. Baby elephant. Wanna see the trunk?" Sputtering and rapid back-pedaling ensued.)

[pinkleader]

baby elephant!?!?! that's too funny!