Do you know what I loathe/abhor/abominate?

When I can't go to a free program on a bus that only costs a dollar and takes you straight to Grand Central Station for a day because nobody wants to accompany me or is able to.

I hate it when that happens.

Goodbye.

Elliot Spitzer, the Governor of my homestate of New York,  just got caught boppin' a hooker [a SEVEN diamond hooker, at that]. He will forever be known as Client #9 at the Emperor's Club. The radio shows are dedicating their entire programs to this scandal. All day, every day for an entire week. Bwahaha.


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This in-depth analysis for my Gothic Lit class that is due in t-minus 2 hours is QUALITY. I'ma talk about how there's something called SAD "seasonal affective disorder" and that is why Ambrosio in The Monk is havin' the winter blues.

Where did I learn that? Oh yes, The X-Files. Dana Katherine Scully, sometimes you save mah ass. F'real. And I gets As ( Read more... )

I AM ABOUT TO WET MAH SLACKS ALL OVER MYSELF AND EVERYTHING.

I just found Katharine Hepburn's sport.
It's not tennis. Or golf. Or cricket. Or running. Or iceskating. Or skiing. Or... swimming. Or bicycling.

IT'S MUTHAEFFIN' EXTREME IRONING.

All the intenseness of regular ironing. 
TO THE 768592839138th POWER.

Fo'realz.


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to the random person that bought me a paid account:

THANKIES!!!

[I have no idea in all of graceland why you would, though.]

does this mean you want me to post more about my life? actual relevant stuff?

here's your first taste of it:
i wore dirty socks today and i caught a boy looking at my bazooms in gothic lit.  
???

just tell me what you'd like to ( Read more... )

I've got to get this out. 
I ADORE MARY TYLER MOORE.

It's been a while, Mair. You got yo' plug pulled. WHY YA GOTTA DO ME LIKE DAT, NICK @ NITE?
Anyways, I'm back. But I never really left you. We just... went on to bigger and better things. Old flames never die!

Shut up.

Just watch this. You seriously cannot tell me that it doesn't put a smile on ( Read more... )

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’tween Ginger and Roy [Rogers] 
There’s no way to choose
He was a boy
But she had great shoes

Ginger was prettier
but Roy sure could ride
So who was the wittier
it's hard to decide

Her wit had snap
His was homespun
That girl could tap
But he had a gun

He loved his Trigger
And Dale was his goyle
But her star was bigger
She played Kitty Foyle

You ask ( Read more... )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY VERY FAVORITEST TWIT AND A HALF IN THE HISTORY OF TWITS AND TWITETTES!!!!!!!1

I heart you, you fluffy-haired Dame.

Oh yeah, I'm talking about Maggie Smith. In case, you're that in the dark with a broken flashlight and yo' missing yo' spare batteries because you left them on the end table when you were distracted puttin' yo' ( Read more... )

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DOOZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

Because we can't forget what this day is all about.

I luff you all dearly.

::clinks my eggnog::