kiss me like you mean it
Title: kiss me like you mean it
Pairing: Jonghyun / Minho
Rating: PG-13 (language)
“minho-ah,” jonghyun shifts his weight, his fingers playing with each other nervously behind his back, “i like you.”
minho looks up and jonghyun flashes him a bright smile-too bright it might break his face.
there is a short silence that holds an eternity in each second, awkward and sticky, and jonghyun’s teeth are digging into his bottom lip.
“hyung, i-”
“show time in three,”
work cuts their conversation short, minho’s last words flashing colorful scenarios in jonghyun’s head. he almost trips on stage and he hopes to god no one noticed.
jonghyun is torn between excitement and a nervous breakdown when they pull into the driveway, exhaustion is heavy in the small van’s air; it smells of hard work and anticipation.
“i’m too tired hyung,” there is something in minho’s eyes, something he can’t quite put a finger on, that tells jonghyun this is bad, bad, bad.
“ok,” the older boy smiles with a lump in his throat.
“night,” minho brushes past him, and jonghyun can only stand and watch (as minho takes his heart and crushes it with painfully sweet pressure). jonghyun feels it heavy in his veins-rejection, regret, misery, heartbreak. he is still smiling when he falls asleep with tears in his eyes.
minho stops talking to him. not like the younger boy spoke much from the start, but still, it was those sparse moments when jonghyun would crack a joke and everyone but minho would laugh. or when they sat in the back of van together and minho concentrated hard on the blur of seoul outside the window.
jonghyun has been locked in his room all day, minho notes, and pushes away a wave of unwanted uncertainty.
“aish, go get jonghyun, jinki.” jinki looks up from his unfinished plate of lasagna with puppy eyes and a pout.
“i’m eating,” he whines, in the most unmanly and immature way minho has ever witnessed. he rolls his eyes.
“minho,” minho’s eyes widen, dropping to his own empty plate and-fuck. “please go get jonghyun, he hasn’t eaten all day.”
minho holds back a groan, picking up his plate and setting it rather loudly in the sink before leaving the kitchen. the three others stare after him.
“jonghyun-ah?” minho was unaware of his lock picking ability until now. he wears a triumphant grin that barely shows as he enters jonghyun’s room.
the older boy is curled up in a corner, back resting against his bed’s side. his face is in his hands and he seems to be shaking. minho has to remind himself that he doesn’t care.
“jonghyun-hyung,” minho squats next to the other, nudging his shoulder, voice empty and harsh. “kibum wants you in the kitchen.”
jonghyun looks up at him. his eyes aren’t swollen, not like minho had expected that of course, but his eyes are dying.
“minho-ah,” the younger boy glances at the door, yearning to be away, far away. “i-i think i might love you.”
it takes a moment for minho to register the words, the are heavy and light, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care, he can’t care.
he moves to leave but jonghyun pulls his sleeve.
“what do you want from me?” jonghyun’s voice is crying, cracking and his heart is bleeding through. minho is drowning. “fuck minho, what do you want?”
“let go,” minho is short of begging, because it all hurts too much, and he can’t breathe.
jonghyun doesn’t think twice. it only takes a short tug for minho to fall to his knees, only a second for jonghyun to capture the other’s mouth.
and minho starts dying too. it’s messy and clumsy and wet, because jonghyun is crying now, his tears are mixing with the blood and minho can’t breathe.
jonghyun pulls away, panting through sobs, shaking. he stares into minho’s eyes, searching desperately for something. he’s not sure what exactly. a sign maybe, a reaction, something to hold on to because he feels like he's falling, anything.
“nothing?” jonghyun swallows hard. “you didn’t feel anything.” he states rather dully, his voice dead.
minho shakes his head because he doesn’t trust his mouth. he gets up and leaves. minho doesn’t look back.
Edit: I just read it and wtf, I think it's the messiest thing I've ever written. It's like I threw a bunch of random words together xD
Pairing: Jonghyun / Minho
Rating: PG-13 (language)
“minho-ah,” jonghyun shifts his weight, his fingers playing with each other nervously behind his back, “i like you.”
minho looks up and jonghyun flashes him a bright smile-too bright it might break his face.
there is a short silence that holds an eternity in each second, awkward and sticky, and jonghyun’s teeth are digging into his bottom lip.
“hyung, i-”
“show time in three,”
work cuts their conversation short, minho’s last words flashing colorful scenarios in jonghyun’s head. he almost trips on stage and he hopes to god no one noticed.
jonghyun is torn between excitement and a nervous breakdown when they pull into the driveway, exhaustion is heavy in the small van’s air; it smells of hard work and anticipation.
“i’m too tired hyung,” there is something in minho’s eyes, something he can’t quite put a finger on, that tells jonghyun this is bad, bad, bad.
“ok,” the older boy smiles with a lump in his throat.
“night,” minho brushes past him, and jonghyun can only stand and watch (as minho takes his heart and crushes it with painfully sweet pressure). jonghyun feels it heavy in his veins-rejection, regret, misery, heartbreak. he is still smiling when he falls asleep with tears in his eyes.
minho stops talking to him. not like the younger boy spoke much from the start, but still, it was those sparse moments when jonghyun would crack a joke and everyone but minho would laugh. or when they sat in the back of van together and minho concentrated hard on the blur of seoul outside the window.
jonghyun has been locked in his room all day, minho notes, and pushes away a wave of unwanted uncertainty.
“aish, go get jonghyun, jinki.” jinki looks up from his unfinished plate of lasagna with puppy eyes and a pout.
“i’m eating,” he whines, in the most unmanly and immature way minho has ever witnessed. he rolls his eyes.
“minho,” minho’s eyes widen, dropping to his own empty plate and-fuck. “please go get jonghyun, he hasn’t eaten all day.”
minho holds back a groan, picking up his plate and setting it rather loudly in the sink before leaving the kitchen. the three others stare after him.
“jonghyun-ah?” minho was unaware of his lock picking ability until now. he wears a triumphant grin that barely shows as he enters jonghyun’s room.
the older boy is curled up in a corner, back resting against his bed’s side. his face is in his hands and he seems to be shaking. minho has to remind himself that he doesn’t care.
“jonghyun-hyung,” minho squats next to the other, nudging his shoulder, voice empty and harsh. “kibum wants you in the kitchen.”
jonghyun looks up at him. his eyes aren’t swollen, not like minho had expected that of course, but his eyes are dying.
“minho-ah,” the younger boy glances at the door, yearning to be away, far away. “i-i think i might love you.”
it takes a moment for minho to register the words, the are heavy and light, he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care, he can’t care.
he moves to leave but jonghyun pulls his sleeve.
“what do you want from me?” jonghyun’s voice is crying, cracking and his heart is bleeding through. minho is drowning. “fuck minho, what do you want?”
“let go,” minho is short of begging, because it all hurts too much, and he can’t breathe.
jonghyun doesn’t think twice. it only takes a short tug for minho to fall to his knees, only a second for jonghyun to capture the other’s mouth.
and minho starts dying too. it’s messy and clumsy and wet, because jonghyun is crying now, his tears are mixing with the blood and minho can’t breathe.
jonghyun pulls away, panting through sobs, shaking. he stares into minho’s eyes, searching desperately for something. he’s not sure what exactly. a sign maybe, a reaction, something to hold on to because he feels like he's falling, anything.
“nothing?” jonghyun swallows hard. “you didn’t feel anything.” he states rather dully, his voice dead.
minho shakes his head because he doesn’t trust his mouth. he gets up and leaves. minho doesn’t look back.
Edit: I just read it and wtf, I think it's the messiest thing I've ever written. It's like I threw a bunch of random words together xD