"I don't want to be a Mommy Bot!"

[picture_kept]

It's raining and I'm cuddled on the sofa with Mary Poppins and a cat

Comments

[picture_kept]

I totally know what you mean. I think adventurous palates happen in the family kitchen. I'm pretty positive Rob will make sure of that one in ours. ;)

Today I saw a family with a young daughter moving through Artomatic. She must have been two or three, and clearly was very much appreciative of the various works she saw (she really liked a couple of different versions of dogs in a couple of artists' sites). The parents weren't nervous about taking their kid to see art, and were comfortable asking her questions and letting her have an opinion. I wonder if they've been taking her to things like this regularly. Anyway, it made me think that it must be possible to raise a kid who can think and ponder and be interested in the world, instead of a video game. I want that.

[moveablefeast]

You may lose some things - for a season. Everything you do now will be limited for a time - art, sex. time with friends. If you breastfeed or pump, your spontaneity will be further limited (as may your diet). For a season. You will be tired. Your body will be different. Your time, money, and space will no longer be your own. But all this is for a season. I started to see myself coming back after about two months. At five months I am still struggling with things like getting ample sleep and time for me. But my friends with children a few weeks and months older than L. are showing me what the future holds - and it is good. It is me (and the things I have always loved), plus a good marriage made stronger by the experience, plus this beautiful child

[picture_kept]

Thank you for these words. I really appreciate it... and I think I'll appreciate it even more after my own first two months have passed. I look forward to hearing more about your and your family's transitions as L ages.

[madge_pastiche]

That's a nice and true comment. You DO lose a lot, and it's important to struggle to keep what you care about, but you gain so much more...The gains are huge. And you can keep what you really care about- you just can't keep every aspect of what forms your identity now. Which seems really scary before you have a kid. But it isn't that scary after a while. Having a kid makes some of the stuff you cared about before having kids seem silly. Other stuff seems crucial, and that's the stuff to fight for. Having a kid strips down your life, in a way- when you're first learning to be a mom it's all you can do to get a shower, so it seems like you'll never get back to stuff for yourself. But I do think that if you have some help and you're not too perfectionist you can achieve some balance. It's just very easy to let being a mother be your whole life. You really do have to fight to keep what you want to keep- but it's also true that you won't feel the need to keep everything that you think you need now. Plus baby smiles are opium.

[soulztice]

I just added you as a friend. I first found your journal after you made a particularly noteworthy (to me) comment on postsecret. I added you upon reading this entry because I now have 2 children and remember struggling with exactly this issue. Besides, you write beautifully and I can identify a lot with other things you say too.

Anyway, for what it's worth, I've found that you shouldn't fear turning into a mommy bot. You will still be you. You will still love the things that you love and you will still get to do them. Children will take over your life only as much as you let them. Granted you may not have as much time, but you will also get to do things that you never knew you'd love such as playing peek-a-boo for about half an hour because it keeps making your child laugh.

[picture_kept]

Thank you so much for these words, and thank you for taking the time to follow me to my journal from one little community comment. I've friended you back! :) You seem pretty interesting, and I look forward to getting to know you too.