Fic: Home

[pictash]

Title: Home (alt. title: Changes)
Pairings/Characters: Sand Sibs, tiny mention of Shikamaru. Temari-centric.
Word Count: 840
Rating: G.
Special notes: ...badfic?

Comments

[premium_shaday]

:D BAWWWWWWWwwwww. I seriously awwwed when Temari called Shikamaru 'crybaby.'

[moonlittaint]

Bad fic, my foot. (As if you could ever write a bad fic to begin with)

This was so cute.

I 'awwed' out loud at this part:
Once or twice, he even considered crawling into bed with her so he could pretend to sleep, like a normal child.

It was short, but I think it flowed nicely, with touches of sentimentality that are rather hard to get in such a short subjectively objective piece. (I don't think that last part made sense. I meant tone - sort of)

I like "Home" as the title rather than "Changes". Changes reminds me of puberty. In fact that's the image that flashed through my head in this sentence: And then the changes began.

I liked it. :)

[moonlittaint]

Oh, I forgot to say I liked how you brought the "crawling into bed pretending to sleep" full circle. By mentioning it and then making it happen. (I 'awwed' at both bed parts)

The last line was good too. Full circle. I like things that come back to the beginning at the end. :D

[pictash]

I got a plot bunny in my head this morning. It comprised of the first and last line of this fic. That is all. xD Everything in the middle is just filler.

[jaygoose]

I love it. :3