[Weiß Kreuz][Ficlet]Incompatibility

[pichi]

At long last, ficlet 2 of 10 on Omi's birthday request queu is finished! It was supposed to be 500-1000 words; I have no idea how it exploded into something so much bigger, but I'm happy with the result, and I hope the recipient is as well.

Thank you to idc_chan, angelyuy, and mainekosama for all the feedback and support you offered while I was making the draft, and to pither and

Comments

[madisuzy]

wow, that was amazing. Your characterization of Schuldig and Mamoru was fantastic. I was glued to the screen. Loved Schuldig's mind games and Mamoru eventual caving in to them. In my opinion, you nailed their personalities perfectly. Thanks for the link so I could read it.

[pichi]

Thanks! Mamoru felt a little tricky in this story, so I'm glad he seemed IC, and glad you enjoyed!

[mainekosama]

Oh, may, is Schuldig evil! This makes him look even scarier, all in one piece. Even if he's actually not doing everithing that bad, all the manipulation and pressiong of the buttons ... And of course the ultimate question in the last part - what a choice.

Omi + Takatori = Mamoru. But I think it always was Mamoru, just with a lighter edge and different focus and you brought that up very nicely. I loved reading this as a finished story!

[pichi]

Yes, I think Omi and Mamoru are just different shades of the same person too. At their cores, they're very alike. It's just what people see on the outside that's different. Like you said, "Omi" is lighter, more childlike.

Thank you again for all your encouragement as I was writing it. It helped keep me motivated. :) And thank you for reading the finished result.

[idc_chan]

Ahhh. Still love it. The characterization is so spot on, for both of them. The story is so tense. Awesome job. I love the ending. Ah Schuldig. You love to play with people's lives so very much. :)

[pichi]

I spent the first two hours or so after posting it revising the ending like fifty times XD I always think something is ready, change my mind after it's been posted and pimped, then frazzle myself silly trying to fix it all before too many people see it.

Thanks for all the encouragement along the way. It was a great motivator, and I'm very glad that you like the end result.

[rokesmith]

A brilliant exercise in slowly ramping up the tension, and a fascinating study in those two characters. I find myself wondering whether on some level Schuldig believed he was doing Mamoru some sort of service, helping him reconcile his past and present. Then again, he could just be a manipulative bastard determined to make Mamoru pay for his help with something Mamoru really valued. Either way, I loved the bit where Mamoru snaps and lets Omi out. You can really see the differences and similarities between the two aspects of himself then. Spectacularly done.

[pichi]

I sort of wonder that myself, actually. Arguably, Schuldig is helping Mamoru in forcing him to confront all these contradictions and hypocrisy-- not just on a level of personal growth, but because it would pave the way for an alliance that both parties might find useful. Personally I'd be more inclined to see this as a rationalization for Schuldig rather than a motivation, but I could certainly see it there. As far as motivation goes, I think it's a combination of entertainment and a desire to pull Mamoru off his moral high horse. I would guess that it sort of pisses him off Mamoru thinks he's better than him, hence the nastier tone he takes on at the end.

Thanks for your review! It's always a pleasure to hear your thoughts on a story.

[pichi]

You are very welcome! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Sorry it took so long to write, but I do hope it was worth the wait. It certainly ended up far longer than I anticipated.

Also, I am going to have to take prompts from you more often. Both of the ones you've given me have turned out stories full of punch. Thank you for your request :)