Comments | phoenix_melody: [1017] Are you really all that surprised?

phoenix_melody

[1017] Are you really all that surprised?

Mar 31, 2010 21:31

Original drabble by askerian

Act IAct II
Scene I, Sasuke
Scene I, Naruto
Scene II, Shikamaru
Scene II, Sasuke
Scene III, Neji
Scene III, Tenten
Scene IV, Tenten
Scene IV, Sakura
Scene V, Lee

( The tender skin of her palms burned as she adjusted the heavy crowbar in her grip, readying the makeshift weapon against attack. )

zombies, tenten

Comments 23

chromde April 2 2010, 04:24:39 UTC

Can I just say: "Tenten swung her crowbar around and jammed the straight end through its right eye. It convulsed for a moment, finally stopping when her follow through pinned it to the asphalt. She yanked her weapon back out of its head with the satisfying crunch of the eye socket cracking." Such delightful gore! And you have a real hand for writing tension, my heart was pounding.

ACK! Tenten! She can't! She's so young and brave and awesome! You shouldn't end it there as long as the muse exists. ;___;

phoenix_melody April 2 2010, 05:23:09 UTC

I don't think I've heard anyone describe gore as delightful. XDDD

I'm very happy to hear that you think the tension was good--it's something I think I struggle with.

The muse certainly wasn't existing tonight, or at least, not enough to write. I've been tossing around ideas about who would be the next POV if I were to continue, and I've finally settled on one. Whether or not it'll happen, I'm afraid I can't promise. But I've got some vague ideas at least!

phoenix_melody April 6 2010, 03:36:37 UTC

And here's a Lee!sequel.