Time and the Rani: The last bit :p
That time is upon us. It's the final episode of TatR. The previous episodes can be found here:http://phlegethon-vii.livejournal.com/103299.html
here: http://phlegethon-vii.livejournal.com/103646.html
and here: http://phlegethon-vii.livejournal.com/104139.html.
Right, time to see if we find out what the Doctor keeps in his nostrils...
So the Doctor's jiggling in his little cabinet while the Rani checks the readings on her magic kitchen table and Ikona dodges more stupid Tetraps outside the complex. Sadly we don't get a lesson on Time Lord nasal anatomy.
Urak is a grade A arse kisser. The Rani tells him to cool it and go and kill some, and only some Laekertians. He runs into the Bat Cave to gather his mates, who file out past Mel and Baius. Strangely it's Baius that clings to Mel this time. WTF?? The Rani comes to gloat. Mel tells her that Seven's gonna fuck with the giant brain, but she doesn't listen coz uber-villains never do.
Seven fucks with the giant brain, LMAO!!! The adage that human males think of sex every 7 seconds is obviously crap, coz Einstein's linked to the giant brain too and not once does it say 'E=MC boobies!!'. I did however just make out 'oooh Mr. Pasteur, you're soooo biiiiiig.'
The Rani isn't pleased that Seven's throwing a big snark-o-party in her giant brain of doom...so she goes to shout at Mel. Somehow Seven manages to get out of the cabinet and throw the Rani in to it. Mel wants to throw the switch coz she's a bit of an evil little cow, but Seven tells her 'tooh wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrongs dohn' make a lef' tuhn'. I think that means 'no'. Not too sure coz I'm only a little bit Scottish...and my ancestors didn't come from Argyll :p
Seven tries his luck at the wheel of fortune. I think he loses coz he gets a 'planet go boom!' video. His expression screams 'on shit'. Mel's expression on the other hand looks kinda vague. A normal day at the office then.
In the Center of Orgy, the Tetraps are dishing out little bracelets. ''ere we go, ladies and gents, step righ' up an' see wo' we go' 'ere. Lavly li'le bracelets for awl. Two for a paaaaand, my darlin', two for a paaaand.' The Laekertians snap them up. 'Naaah, my li'le darlin' their awl above bawd. They ain't booby trapped, honest.'...Um, and then a Laekertian go boom.
Baius doesn't want to let the Rani out of the cabinet, which quite honestly looks bloody flimsy. She threatens his family, his people, curses his mother's name etc etc. Baius looks kinda conflicted, but you know he's gonna let her out to do more gloating.
Seven and Mel do a bit of exposition. Well, Seven does the exposition, Mel just stands there with that same vague expression on her face. Soooo, the Rani likes to film supernovas in her spare time. She's using the giant brain to come up with a substitute for strange matter...um, coz only strange matter can explode strange matter, if that makes sense.
Seven smacks himself in the head. Phlege laughs.
The Rani comes in to gloat some more and snark a whole lot. She wants to create Helium 2 apparently. Seven randomly doffs his hat. Mel looks puzzled.
The Rani wants to turn Laekertia into a giant M&M where the planet is the chocolatey bit and little time particles make up the crunchy sugar shell. The giant M&M will be able to fuck with Time with a capital T. The Rani blabbers on about evolution and order and chaos and Phlege wonders if she's at all related to Josiah Smith. She likes dinosaurs. Seven likes Elvis.
Urak overhears that everything on the planet will be destroyed, including himself. There's gratitude for you. Seven asks the Rani 'why?', the Rani says 'why not?'. It's all deeply philosophical. Seven snarls 'Before, I thought you were a psychopath without murderous intent...I withdraw the qualification.' Are you feeling the love in this room? I sure am :p Yeah I know I didn't do the accent this time, but other than a bit of R rolling he sounded almost proper English-like when he said it, lol.
And then Seven ruins everything coz he can't keep his big mouth shut. He fucking well corrects the maths of a giant brain powered by geniuses from all over the universe. No wonder he looks pissed at himself. He sheepishly edges out of the room and shuts the Rani in...not that she cares; the answer is 'Loyhargil' and she looks positively orgasmic. Loyhargil. Sounds like something you'd name a sword. Or a horse :p.
It's Urak!! Seven uses an umbrella as a gun. Mel uses the confetti-netti.
Goo!!!
In the Center of Orgy, Seven, Mel, and Ikona have to find a way to rescue the Laekertians from their splodey ankle bracelets. The other Doctors had the sonic screwdriver. Seven has a Swiss Army knife. He is so hardcore :p. The bracelets of doom are easily removed with the use of a fibre optic lamp. MacGyver, eat your heart out!!
Back at the complex...god, we're jetting about all over the place now aren't we? Anyway, back at the complex, Seven and the others rescue the geniuses from their freezer cabinets. Seven mixes his metaphores, Mel corrects him and he's like 'what the fuck ever, bitch. Talk to the hand.'
The jiggly giant brain gets blingified with the splodey bracelets. Seven tinkers with something he probably shouldn't. He obviously never listened when his mother said 'stop it, you'll go blind.'
Seven screws over the Rani. Baius does the heroic death thing. The launch fucks up. The rocket misses the asteroid of strange matter. Seven crosses his fingers, lol.
The TARDIS is full of geniuses...and Einstein, Pasteur and a few others as well :p Seven promises to explain how the TARDIS works to Einstein...who will go on to nick his ideas and become famous for them. Seven almost forgets Mel. Almost. Damn. He so should've pulled a 'Cap'n Jack Ditch' here.
The requisite sappy goodbye scene. Thank yous are exchanged, Seven looks adorably bashful, Ikona and Mel declare their undying love for eachother etc etc. But what of the Rani?
Well, the Tetraps have turned her TARDIS into the new Bat Cave. The Rani's just kinda hanging around, lol.
And then Seven and Mel pile into the TARDIS. No doubt he'll have figured out a way to get rid of her in the next episode :p.
The End.
here: http://phlegethon-vii.livejournal.com/103646.html
and here: http://phlegethon-vii.livejournal.com/104139.html.
Right, time to see if we find out what the Doctor keeps in his nostrils...
So the Doctor's jiggling in his little cabinet while the Rani checks the readings on her magic kitchen table and Ikona dodges more stupid Tetraps outside the complex. Sadly we don't get a lesson on Time Lord nasal anatomy.
Urak is a grade A arse kisser. The Rani tells him to cool it and go and kill some, and only some Laekertians. He runs into the Bat Cave to gather his mates, who file out past Mel and Baius. Strangely it's Baius that clings to Mel this time. WTF?? The Rani comes to gloat. Mel tells her that Seven's gonna fuck with the giant brain, but she doesn't listen coz uber-villains never do.
Seven fucks with the giant brain, LMAO!!! The adage that human males think of sex every 7 seconds is obviously crap, coz Einstein's linked to the giant brain too and not once does it say 'E=MC boobies!!'. I did however just make out 'oooh Mr. Pasteur, you're soooo biiiiiig.'
The Rani isn't pleased that Seven's throwing a big snark-o-party in her giant brain of doom...so she goes to shout at Mel. Somehow Seven manages to get out of the cabinet and throw the Rani in to it. Mel wants to throw the switch coz she's a bit of an evil little cow, but Seven tells her 'tooh wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrongs dohn' make a lef' tuhn'. I think that means 'no'. Not too sure coz I'm only a little bit Scottish...and my ancestors didn't come from Argyll :p
Seven tries his luck at the wheel of fortune. I think he loses coz he gets a 'planet go boom!' video. His expression screams 'on shit'. Mel's expression on the other hand looks kinda vague. A normal day at the office then.
In the Center of Orgy, the Tetraps are dishing out little bracelets. ''ere we go, ladies and gents, step righ' up an' see wo' we go' 'ere. Lavly li'le bracelets for awl. Two for a paaaaand, my darlin', two for a paaaand.' The Laekertians snap them up. 'Naaah, my li'le darlin' their awl above bawd. They ain't booby trapped, honest.'...Um, and then a Laekertian go boom.
Baius doesn't want to let the Rani out of the cabinet, which quite honestly looks bloody flimsy. She threatens his family, his people, curses his mother's name etc etc. Baius looks kinda conflicted, but you know he's gonna let her out to do more gloating.
Seven and Mel do a bit of exposition. Well, Seven does the exposition, Mel just stands there with that same vague expression on her face. Soooo, the Rani likes to film supernovas in her spare time. She's using the giant brain to come up with a substitute for strange matter...um, coz only strange matter can explode strange matter, if that makes sense.
Seven smacks himself in the head. Phlege laughs.
The Rani comes in to gloat some more and snark a whole lot. She wants to create Helium 2 apparently. Seven randomly doffs his hat. Mel looks puzzled.
The Rani wants to turn Laekertia into a giant M&M where the planet is the chocolatey bit and little time particles make up the crunchy sugar shell. The giant M&M will be able to fuck with Time with a capital T. The Rani blabbers on about evolution and order and chaos and Phlege wonders if she's at all related to Josiah Smith. She likes dinosaurs. Seven likes Elvis.
Urak overhears that everything on the planet will be destroyed, including himself. There's gratitude for you. Seven asks the Rani 'why?', the Rani says 'why not?'. It's all deeply philosophical. Seven snarls 'Before, I thought you were a psychopath without murderous intent...I withdraw the qualification.' Are you feeling the love in this room? I sure am :p Yeah I know I didn't do the accent this time, but other than a bit of R rolling he sounded almost proper English-like when he said it, lol.
And then Seven ruins everything coz he can't keep his big mouth shut. He fucking well corrects the maths of a giant brain powered by geniuses from all over the universe. No wonder he looks pissed at himself. He sheepishly edges out of the room and shuts the Rani in...not that she cares; the answer is 'Loyhargil' and she looks positively orgasmic. Loyhargil. Sounds like something you'd name a sword. Or a horse :p.
It's Urak!! Seven uses an umbrella as a gun. Mel uses the confetti-netti.
Goo!!!
In the Center of Orgy, Seven, Mel, and Ikona have to find a way to rescue the Laekertians from their splodey ankle bracelets. The other Doctors had the sonic screwdriver. Seven has a Swiss Army knife. He is so hardcore :p. The bracelets of doom are easily removed with the use of a fibre optic lamp. MacGyver, eat your heart out!!
Back at the complex...god, we're jetting about all over the place now aren't we? Anyway, back at the complex, Seven and the others rescue the geniuses from their freezer cabinets. Seven mixes his metaphores, Mel corrects him and he's like 'what the fuck ever, bitch. Talk to the hand.'
The jiggly giant brain gets blingified with the splodey bracelets. Seven tinkers with something he probably shouldn't. He obviously never listened when his mother said 'stop it, you'll go blind.'
Seven screws over the Rani. Baius does the heroic death thing. The launch fucks up. The rocket misses the asteroid of strange matter. Seven crosses his fingers, lol.
The TARDIS is full of geniuses...and Einstein, Pasteur and a few others as well :p Seven promises to explain how the TARDIS works to Einstein...who will go on to nick his ideas and become famous for them. Seven almost forgets Mel. Almost. Damn. He so should've pulled a 'Cap'n Jack Ditch' here.
The requisite sappy goodbye scene. Thank yous are exchanged, Seven looks adorably bashful, Ikona and Mel declare their undying love for eachother etc etc. But what of the Rani?
Well, the Tetraps have turned her TARDIS into the new Bat Cave. The Rani's just kinda hanging around, lol.
And then Seven and Mel pile into the TARDIS. No doubt he'll have figured out a way to get rid of her in the next episode :p.
The End.