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philomel

(Untitled)

May 21, 2009 12:47

Title: Running On Empty
Characters: Dean, Sam
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dean waits for the other boot to fall.
Spoilers: Set vaguely pre-4.20.
Word Count: 1,269
Disclaimer: I claim nothing.
Note: Thank you to zelda_zee for the beta.

( The thing is, the Hell he left behind? With its blood and its red-raw pain and its thrill, it falls so far short of the tiny little everyday hell he now lives in that it's almost a joke. )

fic: gen, fic: spn, character: sam winchester, character: dean winchester

Comments 47

tahirire May 21 2009, 17:16:47 UTC

YES. I LOVE this. The helpless feeling of the time - stretching out between them, the stifling fear of waiting for that moment when they can't deny anymore than everything has changed - you totally captured it. Wow.

Thank you!!

philomel May 22 2009, 04:52:34 UTC

Thank YOU! :) I'm so happy you enjoyed it.

that moment when they can't deny anymore than everything has changed

And yet I still hope that, on the show, things haven't changed as much as the boys think they have--not permanently, not irrevocably.

chemm80 May 21 2009, 17:48:50 UTC

You do such a great job of getting inside Dean's head here, evoking his sadness, his hopelessness right before he finally gives up in 4.22. This line seems to me to say an awful lot about the way Dean sees himself, in language very perfectly specific to him:

But before that, too, Dean wondered what it would've been like if he had never shown up at Stanford, dragging his shit luck behind him like a duffel.

Nice job.

philomel May 22 2009, 04:55:52 UTC

Thank you so much! :) I'm really glad you felt it worked and that Dean seemed believable. Maybe someday that man will develop a sense of self worth (although maybe he wouldn't be Dean anymore then).

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Re: how painful and telling... philomel May 22 2009, 05:03:58 UTC

Dean is really overdue for a hug, the poor boy.

Thank you for reading. :)

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philomel May 22 2009, 05:08:32 UTC

*glee* Thank you so much for your kind feedback and for sharing which bits you liked. I'm really happy you enjoyed it. :)

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philomel May 22 2009, 16:15:14 UTC

LOL Nah, that's flattering. I appreciate it. :D

girlguidejones May 21 2009, 20:03:19 UTC

I imagine this is EXACTLY what we'd hear if we hooked a speaker up to Dean's mind. So full of regret and worry, and a bone-deep missing of the little brother he knew who is as dead as Sam was in Cold Oak.

Painful, but wonderfully written.

philomel May 22 2009, 05:22:40 UTC

Ooh, thank you! That's a really lovely thing to say. :)

a bone-deep missing of the little brother he knew who is as dead as Sam was in Cold Oak

Gah, yes. You hit the nail on the head. I think this is Dean's version of the end of the world--no matter how much he cares about humanity, Sam is really the be all and end all.