Thoughts (On Your Lifetime)
4/18/04
~Thoughts (On Your Lifetime)~
Disclaimer: Simply not mine.
Pairing: Josh/Margaret implied Leo/Margaret
Rating: PG
Summary: You wondered how this life would end.
AN: I suggested an idea for a fic that I'm working on with someone and she shot me down ;-) So, I wrote this cause it was then stuck in my head. A few more moments of dialogue, but not much.
~~~~
She stood on your doorstep looking very much the same as she did a year before. Her big blue eyes full of tears. Her red hair soaking from the rain. You want to turn her away, but your heart won't let you. So moments later she is standing, dripping in your foyer as you run to get towels. It is when you go to hand her a towel that you notice the difference. The diamond ring that has mocked you from her left hand for five months is gone. You freeze, staring at her hand. Her eyes follow yours, and her fingers stretch in eerily the same way as they did when she showed Donna the ring for the first time.
She looks at you, "Here's the thing about dreams; you wake up."
You blink at her, "What?"
She sighs, "He was the dream. You were the reality. I've been living the dream, but I woke up today. I want the reality, Josh."
You lead her into your living room, wrapping her in the nearly forgotten towel. You know how tonight will end (in your bed), but you wonder how this life will end.
~~~~
You stand just outside the gates waiting for him. The guards know you so they don't chase you off for loitering. Today is his last day. You still can't believe that he gave up the White House for you, but you know that it is something Leo would never do. He asked you if you wanted to go in with him, but you couldn't. You couldn't face Leo or a President that was sure to hate you after what you did to his best friend. So, you wait. After a few minutes he emerges, Donna and CJ flanking him, each carrying a box. At least he has two friends left in the West Wing.
He smiles at you, "Hey."
You smile back, wanting to hug him, "Hey."
He reads your mind and gives you a gentle kiss, "Time to start the next chapter, Margaret. I talked to the President. He says good-bye and good luck."
You pretend not to notice that he didn't say anything about Leo, hugging Donna and CJ good-bye. You know where you are headed (Philadelphia), but you wonder there this is headed.
~~~
You glare at the leasing agent, grateful whatever muumuu wearing fascist took down that website about you because she was disgusted that you would dare leave the White House. If that had not been so, you are sure that she would have been on-line before you could say boo spilling her guts about the apartment you just moved into. She was that type. Margaret had said that she was young enough to have been a member of the Josh Lyman fan club in college. You didn't care, because Margaret loves the apartment. You watch her busily flitting around the apartment, planning what furniture to buy and where to put it all. As she passes you, you grab her and pull her into a long kiss, not caring that the leasing agent is staring at you wide eyed.
You break the kiss, "Is this real enough for you?"
She runs her hand over your cheek, "Reality is better than a hundred thousand dreams."
You kiss her again, "I'll you fifty years to change your mind on that one."
You listen to her laugh as she kisses you this time, feeling peace settle into your bones for the first time in months. You know where your home is (15 C), and you know where your heart is.
~~~~
You like Philadelphia. It is large enough to get lost in, but small enough to still feel important. Josh is eating up his job in City Hall, since they treat him like a god with his White House experience. You are enjoying your job as an event coordinator at the Kimmel Center, since it is so different than the job you did in the White House. In the year you've been here, you've found yourself incredibly happy. Looking across the dinner table at your lover, you know that he is happy too. At least, those are the words he whispers to you each night before drifting off to sleep.
He waves a piece of mail at you, "Hey, it's time to renew the lease."
You shake your head at him, "I really don't think that is a good idea. I think we need a bigger place."
He looks at you in confusion, "Why?"
You stand and place his hand over your stomach, knowing that although he can't feel anything yet he'll understand. You know that he is happy (his smile gives it away), and you know that you are happy from the tears in your eyes.
~~~~~
You stare down at the son in your arms, soft and pink in his blue blanket. You want nothing more than to protect him and never let a bad thing happen to him. It has been an unbelievably long nine months with unexpected highs and lows. Next year this time, you'll be campaigning for Mayor, a campaign that you were talked and cajoled into. Three months ago, you stood in front of a judge and declared your love and commitment to the woman that just bore you a son, a marriage that you had to talk and cajole her into.
She looks at you with worn out eyes, "Is he okay?"
You can't keep the smile off your face, "He's amazing. We were just discussing campaign slogans. I'm tempted to go with 'As real as it gets.'"
She laughs and reaches for you both, "No, that is this. His father is 'The Real Thing.'"
You squeeze your eyes closed, wondering if she really knows what hearing her say that means to you. You wonder if you are as good (as Bartlet), but you know that she will by your side as far as you go.
~~~~~
You're surprised by the invitation. Even more surprised that it came to your Maiden name. Of course, the last time you talked to Mallory was to tell her that you wouldn't be changing your name to that of her father's. You thought that she hated you, and you couldn't blame her. You had hurt her father in a way that not even her mother had done. You seduced him, not that is was hard, and loved him, then left him to run back to a man he considered a son and she considered a brother.
He speaks softly, "Are you going to go?"
You shake your head, "I don't think it would be a good idea."
He shrugs, "Maybe you should go, and make sure that you still prefer reality to dreams."
You stare at him, worrying suddenly that there are cracks in your relationship that you can't see. You are sure of whom you love (Josh), but you wonder if he is as sure.
~~~~~
You are not surprised by the invitation. You've read in the paper that all the former Senior Staff are being invited to the funeral. You are glad that you are still included, but not surprised. The DNC is shaking hands with you about a gubernatorial run in a few years, so it would look funny if you weren't there. Still, it is going to be as hard as sitting Shiva for your father, but at least now you have her.
She bites her lip, "You sure you want me with you at this?"
You gather her in your arms, "I can't even beginning to image how awful it would be without you there."
She kisses you, "We'll be there right next to you."
You hold her close, praying that she'll still say that after seeing your old boss and her old lover. You are sure of whom you love (Margaret), but you wonder if she is as sure.
~~~~
You cannot look him in the eyes. You aren't sure if it the five year old boy holding your hand or the sixth month old fetus expanding your midsection. His eyes register a sadness that you know is greater than the lost of his best friend. He watches your son and you feel the need to pull the child closer to you.
He finally makes you meet his eyes, "I always knew that you would make beautiful children."
You fill slightly with pride, "He looks like his father. Josh and I make beautiful children."
He is stung by your words and stings back, "I just hope his father is around enough to see him. It's hard to be a politician and a father and not sacrifice one or the other."
You want to retort, hurting him seems like a justifiable thing, but don't. You know why you left him (you didn't want the child he was demanding), and why you went back to Josh.
~~~~
You are so nervous you can barely speak. Your wife looks beautiful in her hunter green suit. Your son is handsome, if unhappy, in his new suit. Your daughter is strutting around in her first pair of high heels. You wonder how your children got so big and how you got to this place. You are pretty sure that yesterday Margaret was standing on your porch telling you that she was leaving and going to Leo. In reality, that was a nightmare from 20 years before. You've been living your dream and Margaret's reality.
Your wife is standing in front of you, smoothing your suit, "Are you ready to go?"
You kiss her tenderly, even though your children groan their disapproval, "With you? Always."
She laughs at the double meaning and smiles at the love in your eyes, "Well, then let's go get you sworn in, Mr. President."
You take her arm, thinking how grateful you are that she's been by your side this long. You know how tonight will end (in the White House), and you wonder at how this life turned out.
~Thoughts (On Your Lifetime)~
Disclaimer: Simply not mine.
Pairing: Josh/Margaret implied Leo/Margaret
Rating: PG
Summary: You wondered how this life would end.
AN: I suggested an idea for a fic that I'm working on with someone and she shot me down ;-) So, I wrote this cause it was then stuck in my head. A few more moments of dialogue, but not much.
~~~~
She stood on your doorstep looking very much the same as she did a year before. Her big blue eyes full of tears. Her red hair soaking from the rain. You want to turn her away, but your heart won't let you. So moments later she is standing, dripping in your foyer as you run to get towels. It is when you go to hand her a towel that you notice the difference. The diamond ring that has mocked you from her left hand for five months is gone. You freeze, staring at her hand. Her eyes follow yours, and her fingers stretch in eerily the same way as they did when she showed Donna the ring for the first time.
She looks at you, "Here's the thing about dreams; you wake up."
You blink at her, "What?"
She sighs, "He was the dream. You were the reality. I've been living the dream, but I woke up today. I want the reality, Josh."
You lead her into your living room, wrapping her in the nearly forgotten towel. You know how tonight will end (in your bed), but you wonder how this life will end.
~~~~
You stand just outside the gates waiting for him. The guards know you so they don't chase you off for loitering. Today is his last day. You still can't believe that he gave up the White House for you, but you know that it is something Leo would never do. He asked you if you wanted to go in with him, but you couldn't. You couldn't face Leo or a President that was sure to hate you after what you did to his best friend. So, you wait. After a few minutes he emerges, Donna and CJ flanking him, each carrying a box. At least he has two friends left in the West Wing.
He smiles at you, "Hey."
You smile back, wanting to hug him, "Hey."
He reads your mind and gives you a gentle kiss, "Time to start the next chapter, Margaret. I talked to the President. He says good-bye and good luck."
You pretend not to notice that he didn't say anything about Leo, hugging Donna and CJ good-bye. You know where you are headed (Philadelphia), but you wonder there this is headed.
~~~
You glare at the leasing agent, grateful whatever muumuu wearing fascist took down that website about you because she was disgusted that you would dare leave the White House. If that had not been so, you are sure that she would have been on-line before you could say boo spilling her guts about the apartment you just moved into. She was that type. Margaret had said that she was young enough to have been a member of the Josh Lyman fan club in college. You didn't care, because Margaret loves the apartment. You watch her busily flitting around the apartment, planning what furniture to buy and where to put it all. As she passes you, you grab her and pull her into a long kiss, not caring that the leasing agent is staring at you wide eyed.
You break the kiss, "Is this real enough for you?"
She runs her hand over your cheek, "Reality is better than a hundred thousand dreams."
You kiss her again, "I'll you fifty years to change your mind on that one."
You listen to her laugh as she kisses you this time, feeling peace settle into your bones for the first time in months. You know where your home is (15 C), and you know where your heart is.
~~~~
You like Philadelphia. It is large enough to get lost in, but small enough to still feel important. Josh is eating up his job in City Hall, since they treat him like a god with his White House experience. You are enjoying your job as an event coordinator at the Kimmel Center, since it is so different than the job you did in the White House. In the year you've been here, you've found yourself incredibly happy. Looking across the dinner table at your lover, you know that he is happy too. At least, those are the words he whispers to you each night before drifting off to sleep.
He waves a piece of mail at you, "Hey, it's time to renew the lease."
You shake your head at him, "I really don't think that is a good idea. I think we need a bigger place."
He looks at you in confusion, "Why?"
You stand and place his hand over your stomach, knowing that although he can't feel anything yet he'll understand. You know that he is happy (his smile gives it away), and you know that you are happy from the tears in your eyes.
~~~~~
You stare down at the son in your arms, soft and pink in his blue blanket. You want nothing more than to protect him and never let a bad thing happen to him. It has been an unbelievably long nine months with unexpected highs and lows. Next year this time, you'll be campaigning for Mayor, a campaign that you were talked and cajoled into. Three months ago, you stood in front of a judge and declared your love and commitment to the woman that just bore you a son, a marriage that you had to talk and cajole her into.
She looks at you with worn out eyes, "Is he okay?"
You can't keep the smile off your face, "He's amazing. We were just discussing campaign slogans. I'm tempted to go with 'As real as it gets.'"
She laughs and reaches for you both, "No, that is this. His father is 'The Real Thing.'"
You squeeze your eyes closed, wondering if she really knows what hearing her say that means to you. You wonder if you are as good (as Bartlet), but you know that she will by your side as far as you go.
~~~~~
You're surprised by the invitation. Even more surprised that it came to your Maiden name. Of course, the last time you talked to Mallory was to tell her that you wouldn't be changing your name to that of her father's. You thought that she hated you, and you couldn't blame her. You had hurt her father in a way that not even her mother had done. You seduced him, not that is was hard, and loved him, then left him to run back to a man he considered a son and she considered a brother.
He speaks softly, "Are you going to go?"
You shake your head, "I don't think it would be a good idea."
He shrugs, "Maybe you should go, and make sure that you still prefer reality to dreams."
You stare at him, worrying suddenly that there are cracks in your relationship that you can't see. You are sure of whom you love (Josh), but you wonder if he is as sure.
~~~~~
You are not surprised by the invitation. You've read in the paper that all the former Senior Staff are being invited to the funeral. You are glad that you are still included, but not surprised. The DNC is shaking hands with you about a gubernatorial run in a few years, so it would look funny if you weren't there. Still, it is going to be as hard as sitting Shiva for your father, but at least now you have her.
She bites her lip, "You sure you want me with you at this?"
You gather her in your arms, "I can't even beginning to image how awful it would be without you there."
She kisses you, "We'll be there right next to you."
You hold her close, praying that she'll still say that after seeing your old boss and her old lover. You are sure of whom you love (Margaret), but you wonder if she is as sure.
~~~~
You cannot look him in the eyes. You aren't sure if it the five year old boy holding your hand or the sixth month old fetus expanding your midsection. His eyes register a sadness that you know is greater than the lost of his best friend. He watches your son and you feel the need to pull the child closer to you.
He finally makes you meet his eyes, "I always knew that you would make beautiful children."
You fill slightly with pride, "He looks like his father. Josh and I make beautiful children."
He is stung by your words and stings back, "I just hope his father is around enough to see him. It's hard to be a politician and a father and not sacrifice one or the other."
You want to retort, hurting him seems like a justifiable thing, but don't. You know why you left him (you didn't want the child he was demanding), and why you went back to Josh.
~~~~
You are so nervous you can barely speak. Your wife looks beautiful in her hunter green suit. Your son is handsome, if unhappy, in his new suit. Your daughter is strutting around in her first pair of high heels. You wonder how your children got so big and how you got to this place. You are pretty sure that yesterday Margaret was standing on your porch telling you that she was leaving and going to Leo. In reality, that was a nightmare from 20 years before. You've been living your dream and Margaret's reality.
Your wife is standing in front of you, smoothing your suit, "Are you ready to go?"
You kiss her tenderly, even though your children groan their disapproval, "With you? Always."
She laughs at the double meaning and smiles at the love in your eyes, "Well, then let's go get you sworn in, Mr. President."
You take her arm, thinking how grateful you are that she's been by your side this long. You know how tonight will end (in the White House), and you wonder at how this life turned out.