Comments | phil_urich: Freckles Neville/Padma

phil_urich

Freckles Neville/Padma

Nov 02, 2008 16:47

Title: Freckles
author: phil_urich
Pairing: Neville/Padma
Word count: 587
Rating: G
Prompt: Freckles

( She watches him from under a tree )

padma patil, neville/padma, neville longbottom

Comments 13

bk03 November 2 2008, 22:59:43 UTC

As a Padma fan, I really like how you wrote her in this piece. Can't really explain why, but I just think you got her down pretty well. While I am a Harry-centric writer, I have to say I liked your decision to not use any of the "main" characters, aside from Neville of course.

phil_urich November 4 2008, 01:41:10 UTC

Thank you. I really like your Padma as well so it means something to hear from another Padma writer. It always struck me as odd in the books that Harry, Ron and Hermione repeatedly went places around the castle (the library, their dorm rooms, etc) where their classmates weren't. I kind of wanted to show what their friends might have been up to while they were away.

bk03 November 4 2008, 03:41:53 UTC

While I understand why JKR didn't say there were more students around when Harry and company did things, it always did bug me too. Did it seem to you like she would keep reusing the same "background characters"? Like Ernie, Hannah, and Padma. I think if she had shuffled in some other characters in to the mix, I wouldn't have minded as much.

phil_urich November 7 2008, 02:11:11 UTC

yeah she did reuse a lot of the same ones. It's a relatively small school. One would think Harry would have met everyone at least once.

vegablack62 November 2 2008, 23:27:06 UTC

You did a good job putting across Padma's pov. I liked Neville's interaction with Seamus. He is dunked but there's good humor to it and his reaction as well. I found myself wondering when this story takes place.

phil_urich November 4 2008, 01:49:32 UTC

I was trying to think up a good place in the timeline for this as well and I think it fits in alright with Harry's fourth year, prior to the third task. Padma's pov was something I was sweating over because I definitely wanted her to have her own voice. I also wanted to make things clear that this was the way she sees Neville and not the way everyone else sees him.

vegablack62 November 4 2008, 02:22:46 UTC

It would be very interesting if you placed this third or fourth year. That would be a series I would particularly look forward to. If you are worried that you are writing a pairing that doesn't exist in canon, the interest doesn't have to lead anywhere. This is an age that isn't exactly effective in getting together. Ineffectual interest is the order of the day.

vegablack62 November 4 2008, 02:24:46 UTC

Because of the references to his parents and him getting into circumstances he had no business being in, you could place this at the end of fifth year.

phil_urich November 4 2008, 02:29:35 UTC

That's true, but I thought for some reason the school semester was a day away from being over after the Ministry business plus I can't see Umbridge allowing the children to frolic like that near the lake.

vegablack62 November 4 2008, 03:16:09 UTC

NO it works perfectly. After they returned, Fudge reinstates Dumbledore, and gets rid of Umbridge at the school and admits Voldemort returned. They hand out in the hospital for a few days. Neville is released and Ron and Hermione are in the hospital. Then McGonagall returns and gives them all a ton of points. McGonagall sends them outside because it is a beautiful day where Harry sees students sitting on the grass sunbathing around the lake reading the Prophet and eating sweets. He gets a hero's welcome from the kids and goes to see Hagrid. (Page 853)

Neville could very well be one of the kids on the lawn.

The question of the kids attitude to Neville after he returns after the battle of the department of mysteries and again at the end of book six after he is wounded in the battle of astronomy tower has always interested me. He has actually fought death eaters after they have not.

phil_urich November 7 2008, 02:12:29 UTC

ooo, good points. Thanks!

mollywheezy June 24 2009, 15:00:52 UTC

"Gryffindors are known throughout the Ravenclaw common room as the Kings and Queens of Rash Decisions. Neville seems to exist in defiance of that stereotype though." Great description of Neville! :)

"The skin is white except for the few freckles that run across his shoulders and she blushes at the thought of her hands on those shoulders." I love this line--what an excellent portrayal of Padma's fancying Neville. :)

Really enjoyed this! :)

phil_urich June 26 2009, 03:00:40 UTC

Glad you enjoyed it! Everything seemed to click when I was writing this story for some reason.