Fic writing and meeting expectations

[pheebs1]

I have been in fandom for only about a year. It must be my one year anniversary of my LJ soon, in fact. This is the length of time I have been writing fic for. Before that, I wrote stories to entertain myself, but never dreamed I would show them to anyone. (I have partly had these thoughts because one of kellifer_fic's friends said to me 'so you're a writer'

Comments

[regala_electra]

I wasn't tagged either, but that's a good thing. I tend to hate my fic after six months of posting it. And I'm a crazy, crazy person when it comes to being critical of my own stuff.

I have done a rewrite of a fic though and honestly, I'm quite pleased by it. The story was Absence of Solace and it was a coda to my epic AtS Wesley story Betrayer (a dark Wesley story, ripping off thematic elements from Hamlet, and leading up the final apocalypse). Betrayer itself is an ultimate failure, it was written over four years ago and was 163 pages long, my longest story ever and there were many, many reasons why I'm very unsatisfied with the final product.

Yet, AoS was my attempt to resolve the purposeful open ending of Betrayer and lead on to what I had wanted to do in the first place: incorporate a Buffy/Wesley relationship to the drama. My first version was weak and I didn't hit the story notes I wanted to.

I recall one of the major notes was that I wanted a very clear implication that Wesley had been forced to kill Lilah (in Betrayer,

[pheebs1]

It's interesting, the idea of rewriting. Like, I am interested that you re wrote and made it bleaker and more successfully achieved what you wanted - like at that later point you were more able to.

And gosh I am so critical it is ridiculous. Probably good for both of us if we HAD done it, eh?! Think about why we like things etc!

[pheebs1]

Oopsy. I saw people generally tagging their flist and I kind of pretended they didn't mean me ;) (Sorry about that). I am not very...positive at the minute so probably not in the best place to be picking out things I love etc.

I think it's a good idea! oh for the time, etc.

And have seen 18 and I love you and OMG THEY CANT LEAVE IT THERE, WTF?!

[elanurel]

I would rewrite the first half of Strange Angels. I didn't have the best handle on the characterizations (particularly for Sam and both of the major OCs who showed up by that point) and my exposition regarding the backstory was sometimes confusing. I had a lot of details regarding the Apochryphal lore I was trying to present so I could then move forward with the active part of the story, and I feel that I would write that more effectively know because writing it to the end made me a better writer.

I'm not going to; I think some of the clumsiness it what makes it a learning experience for me. And I can go back and see how the characters are acting in the sequel and see the progress.

[pheebs1]

I think it's difficult isn't it - sometimes we are critical of ourselves because we learn more as the writing goes along, and it must especially be true when you are writing a long fic, and then loko back at the start of it differently. But we got where we are now because of it, so I guess that's a good thing.

[elanurel]

I'm hyper-critical of everything that I write, sad to say... ;-P

And I agree. We definitely learn more as the writing goes along, how the characters are going to interact and what we really want them to do and say while exploring the themes that are interesting to us. I always intended SA to be on the "epic" side (because the underlying story idea is kind of epic and I can't get around that; then again, that's what myths are underpinned by...the struggle of one side against the other) but I do wish the early chapters matched the vision of what I was trying to relay.

I could do it now. I just don't think I want to revise the first four chapters again. (I already did it once. I'm not sure if you knew that or not...)

And it's definitely a good thing. Being able to look back at something and see how you've grown is a nice feeling. And, in my case, I owe it to you and WP and everyone else who made me get off my butt and start posting my writing.

[dotfic]

Hi, I like your thoughts here. This is interesting.

I'd assumed you were an old hand at fandom, you seem to have a knack for fanfic.

It pains me to admit it, actually, how many years I've been writing fanfic (but it was intermittent, I dropped it for a number of years and that saddens me now) and how many years I've been banging my head against the keyboard trying original fiction. The best thing, writing-wise, about fanfic is it keeps me writing. I get daunted by original work. The reason fic works for me is that I think long-form--novels and series--but lack the...stamina? To do it in anything other than bite-sized chunks. I think of fanfic as disconnected chapters all part of one big long novel. (I really don't like writing original short stories and love world-building, it's the writing part that's hard long-form for me).

If it is just a hobby, I think you should still take it seriously, and I am sure most of us here do, but then you can get upset about it, and that doesn't seem right either.That's how I feel about it too. I

[pheebs1]

Hi - I am glad you found it interesting. I worried I was rambling on about something that was in my head, and not being particularly interesting, but then I thought - well what the hey! Fanfic is good because as you say, it keeps you writing and that is important isnt it, to keep ones hand in and keep at it and improving and thinking about writing in different ways

[dotfic]

I was going to go take your livejournal usage poll, then realized I hadn't replied to your comment here like I meant to (which says something about my LJ usage habits right there *g*)

It's hard that line isn't it, between taking it seriously and not getting down when it doesn't go well - being able to say at that point 'how much time can I spend working at this, finding it hard, for the ultimate reward of finishing it'? When we all have lives going on outside of this.That can be difficult. On the one hand, a lot of us don't want to post anything but our best work. On the other, when you're struggling with a fic, and spending hours editing or researching, it's easy to wonder "Am I taking this too seriously?" But I think it's totally worth it, one of the great things about fandom is the community, the awareness of who your readers are, and being able to talk to writers about the story they posted you loved. So there's that dialogue, and therefore, it seems like posted fic should be the author's best efforts, because there are readers

[pheebs1]

Ooh thank you for the Forward Motion tip, I'll check it out! And I think you are right - I think if we are enjoying ourselves then that will come across, definitely.

[pheebs1]

That's interesting - I definitely think with long pieces voices get 'easier' as you go along. Like, I have a much better handle on Petra now, for example.