Couldn't take the betrayal, the mistrust, of another friend. One who'd stood by him for all his existence.
Killing Balthazar just...does things to me. Because Balthazar didn't do anything nearly as bad as Dean, his betrayal wasn't nearly so deep as Dean's. Dean was actually trying to stop Cas and yet Castiel won't kill him, is still asking, "will you trust me, will you love me?" EVERY OTHER FRIEND IS DISPOSABLE, RACHEL, BALTHAZAR HE KILLS WITHOUT A THOUGHT. but dean gets second, third, sixhundredth chances. oh caaaaaasssss so in loooooooove.
Someone pointed this out to me and I don't know if it's true or not, I'm not ready to rewatch the episode, but apparently when Balthazar tells Castiel that Castiel always has him, you can see the snap in Castiel's eyes.
I don't know if that's true. I'm just... I can't. Not yet. But I look forward to it.
My thing is, I'm still not sure where exactly Dean and Castiel went off the rails. Dean did trust and care about Cas in S5, and then in S6, he just doesn't, even before the huge "betrayal" episode. I just don't feel like it's a natural progression, but that's just me.
My fanwank is that Dean and Castiel were already off the rails, all the way back in season 5. After PONR, things were icy between them and they never really got that closeness back. More so, externally, on Dean's part. Obviously he cares, a lot, for Castiel. 6.20 proved that, but I think he kept it inside until he couldn't anymore.
That's how I view it, though. It's the way it makes sense to me.
MY GLOWING LJ REVIEW WAS AN ISLAND OF HAPPINESS IN AN OCEAN OF MISERY, AND I JUST CHILLED THERE FOR A COUPLE WEEKS, WAITING FOR EVERYTHING TO CALM DOWN.
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Killing Balthazar just...does things to me. Because Balthazar didn't do anything nearly as bad as Dean, his betrayal wasn't nearly so deep as Dean's. Dean was actually trying to stop Cas and yet Castiel won't kill him, is still asking, "will you trust me, will you love me?" EVERY OTHER FRIEND IS DISPOSABLE, RACHEL, BALTHAZAR HE KILLS WITHOUT A THOUGHT. but dean gets second, third, sixhundredth chances. oh caaaaaasssss so in loooooooove.
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I don't know if that's true. I'm just... I can't. Not yet. But I look forward to it.
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That's how I view it, though. It's the way it makes sense to me.
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Scratch that; already dead. Castiel killed me.
God, Cas, what are they going to do with you?
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This makes so much sense.
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I wonder if this is how the fans of Swan Song felt last year? D:
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I KNOW BECAUSE I WAS ONE OF THEM.
MY GLOWING LJ REVIEW WAS AN ISLAND OF HAPPINESS IN AN OCEAN OF MISERY, AND I JUST CHILLED THERE FOR A COUPLE WEEKS, WAITING FOR EVERYTHING TO CALM DOWN.
SWAN SONG IS GLORIOUS, MOTHERFUCKERS.
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