Been a while

[phantomlord_lop]

I've been in a funk since my mother's death. I guess it's to be expected, but it's made the anhedonia worse where I just don't want to do anything. I have sparks of creation, but I do nothing with them. Plus to make matters worse, my body feels like it's falling apart in the literal sense. I dont know if it's just because I havent been to the gym

Comments

[outlier1985]

That's always the worst part when someone passes, the time it takes for your subconscious and such to fully adapt to the change. Before my grandpa passed, we were making trips to the valley pretty much constantly to see him and the family, since we all pretty much knew the end was approaching. After his passing and his services, I kept getting this feeling that we were supposed to go down there and see him somehow, still. I even caught myself asking if he'd heard anything, about any changes in his condition and such. Our loved ones become such an integral part of our lives, that it really is like a hole is left behind when they leave us.

I can definitely relate in terms of feeling decrepit or like you're breaking down... except in my case, I haven't been in decent shape or made any attempt at maintenance in longer than I'd like to admit. I really need to do something about that, too. 💀