Fic: Untitled - I just miss these bitches! Part 1
Title: Untitled
Author: Phantom1015
Rating: Involves content of questionable sexual nature…well, maybe not questionable but definitely sexual!
Disclaimer: Not mine, if they were I’d have them tied up like that chick in Xtina’s new wannabe Gaga video.
AN: This happened randomly; you can get the full explanation inside. Thanks for reading!
So, this is what randomly happens when Leighton and Blake refuse to be seen together in public looking as if they are about to snuggle, make out, fornicate, etc. This is me mourning the loss of their epic gayness and in turn writing a sappy story that was supposed to be for the Anon Kink Prompt about having hate sex and then cute, I miss you sex. It’s all there, but heavier on the cute and sappy side! So, here yah go! Oh, and btw, I apologize in advanced for the fourth word already being the name Penn, ew!
“I don’t know, Penn, this scene is going to take a lot of work and I’m supposed to meet Leighton at seven o’clock…we have plans.” Blake protested lightly to her ex-boyfriend, knowing she had brought up a sore subject, especially after what had happened only a few days day ago.
It had been a little over a year since she and Leighton had gotten together, and even longer since she and Penn had separated, but Penn’s relentless attempts to win her over again continued to create awkward situations. It was easy for everyone to see who the better match was for Blake, except for Penn - because it obviously was not him. And even though his constant flirting and flattery had made both Blake and Leighton uncomfortable, it was not long before the blonde’s resolve had broken and it had somehow ended with her leaving Penn’s trailer after a late shoot, choking on guilty tears.
“That means you still have half an hour…so why don’t we start working on the scene?” Penn asked her, trying to use work as a means of getting Blake’s attention, which proved successful during the previous week.
Blake sighed in defeat and sipped her water bottle, she could tell he wasn’t going to give up and they would have to work the scene out eventually anyway, no matter how awkward. “Alright, fine, but I really do have to leave soon,” she reminded him, and then added with a heavy conscience, “And what happened last Friday cannot happen again.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get back to your Lei on time.” Penn replied sarcastically, using Blake’s pet name for Leighton and then rolling his eyes, before looking at his script. He knew he held the upper hand now and if he wanted to disregard the seriousness of her statement he could.
Blake took another sip of water and tried her best to act like she had not seen the eye roll.
“Where do you want to start?” she asked impatiently.
“Well, Serena is on Dan’s lap, the scene progresses into the kiss and then I think you know the rest…” Penn stated snidely, and then sat down in the nearest chair.
After Blake mentally berated herself for ever being romantically connected to the person who played her on-screen boyfriend and then cheating on her girlfriend with him, she sat down across Penn’s legs and started reading through her script. “Fine, but I’m not doing the whole kiss right now, just a quick peck.”
“That’s what I figured…” Penn answered and then put his hands around Blake’s waist assumingly.
The first few lines went smoothly and then Blake leaned forward slightly to place a chaste kiss on Penn’s lips, but as soon as her lips brushed his, he slid his hand into her hair and pressed her closer, deepening the kiss. Blake pushed against his shoulders immediately, but when she tried to pull away she just could not. It just felt too natural, too familiar. Penn had been a major part of her life for two and half years, and now that she had already reopened the connection, she was finding that it was not so easy to shut it down again. But she should have remembered that there was someone who could.
“Blake, I decided to co -”
Leighton’s cheery voice filled the room, but suddenly stopped when her eyes registered the image of Penn holding her girlfriend in his arms, with her blonde hair astray and her breathing heavy.
Blake’s eyes connected with Leighton’s and her heart automatically began to break, but it would have been even more selfish to consider her hurt when it was nothing compared to the brunette’s. It did not help that Leighton looked completely blindsided, yet so typically adorable at the same time. Her hair was pulled back loosely, still holding the curl from earlier filming and her outrageous heels were dangling from her fingers, having been replaced by more conventional flip-flops.
The image was so devastatingly normal that Blake wished she could excitedly run over to the petite brunette, tenderly take her face in her hands and kiss her like she did any other day; just to remind her that she loved her and to make her forget about having to kiss Ed, Chace, the ever hated Sebastian, or whoever else Blair was hooking up with these days. But instead, Blake had to watch her girlfriend - now, possibly her ex-girlfriend - as her eyes became shiny with unshed tears, before she let out a shaky breath and quickly began walking off the set. And all because she was too weak to find her self-control and resist her once boyfriend, who had never even come close to making her feel the way Leighton did.
“I guess that ends your plans!” Penn suddenly laughed, making Blake remember that she was still sitting on his lap. She was so focused on Leighton that she only had the slight urge to break his nose.
Rapidly standing up, she nervously ran her hand through her hair and then turned on Penn. “From now on, I want you to stay the hell away from me! If this is what you wanted all along, well there, you got it!”
“Whatever you say,” he said smugly, getting up himself and leaving the blonde alone.
It was true, she knew she could say whatever she liked to try to lay the blame on him but it was just as much her fault as it was his. And more importantly, he was not the one who had broken the heart of the most giving, beautiful, loving woman imaginable.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Hours later, Blake found herself in the doorway of she and Leighton’s shared apartment, staring at the back of the brunette’s head as she sat unmoving on their leather couch. To say she was surprised to see the other woman there would have been an understatement. After finally working up the courage to go home, Blake had expected to find their master bedroom stripped of half its contents and not so much as a note indicating where Leighton had taken refuge. After all, she knew it was what she deserved.
“Baby?” Blake hesitantly whispered as she circled around the couch, trying to prepare herself for the damage she had solely caused.
“What?” Leighton asked without a hint of emotion, except for the thickness left over in her voice from the bouts of crying that had occurred over the past few hours.
Taking a huge chance and pushing her luck, Blake kneeled down before the brunette and then even more tentatively placed her arms around her waist and her head in her lap. “I’m sorry, Lei…”
Leighton found it ironic that she could not even help herself from slipping her fingers through the mess of silky blonde tendrils lying over her legs, not even when the last time she had seen them someone else’s hands had been tangled through them.
“What were you even thinking?” the brunette questioned blandly; although she was not entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.
Blake shook her head silently, pushed her cheek harder against the smooth skin of Leighton’s legs, and tightened her grip around her, hoping she would never have to let her go. “I don’t know, I wasn’t…”
There was no answer for several minutes while Leighton pet Blake’s hair, just like it was any average day where they might be lying together reading through their scripts. But the blonde knew there would eventually be more questions and when she heard a deep sigh and the fingernails soothing her scalp ceased, she knew what to expect.
“It was just a kiss though, right?”
Blake felt her heart nearly stop. Now, she was about to put Leighton’s forgiveness to the test, because she had already done as much with her trust.
“I can’t believe myself…” Blake whispered, already finding herself in tears with her hand covering her forehead. “I can’t believe we just did that…”
“It’s not anything we haven’t done before,” Penn pointed out while pulling his jeans back on and watching his ex-girlfriend lie on the couch of his trailer, her own jeans and silk panties still pushed down around her ankles.
Beginning to cry harder, Blake sat up and hastily tugged her pants back into place and buckled her belt. “Shut the fuck up! It’s never going to happen again!”
She had sobbed during the entire drive back to the apartment, all the while telling herself that she was not the one who deserved to cry and dodging concerned glances from the cab driver. When she had finally arrived in she and Leighton’s bedroom, she was more than relieved to find her girlfriend already asleep, because she could barely control the pitiful noises she was trying to stifle.
After forty-five minutes of hiding out in the shower while attempting to calm herself down, Blake eventually manage to fight down her guilt for a few moments and press herself to Leighton’s back.
“Mmm…” the brunette purred in response to the warmth that had curled up against her, and snuggled into the source. “Love you.”
The sleepy whisper had Blake’s throat constricting painfully and she buried her face in Leighton’s dark hair, just to be sure that any belying emotions were muffled when she replied, “I love you too, sweetheart.”
“Oh my God…” Leighton said in utter disbelief; if she had thought that seeing Blake kiss Penn was awful then surely what she was imagining now was something even worse. “Oh my God, Blake…”
“I’m so sorry, I don’t even know what else to say…” Blake whispered shakily, suddenly sounding very much like every other horrible person who had mistakenly hurt someone and then not known what else to do besides beg forgiveness. “I really never meant to hurt you, Lei, I promi -”
With an angry shove against her shoulders, Leighton had pushed Blake away so that she could storm into their bedroom, while brokenly yelling, “Don’t you dare call me that!”
The brunette was already on the floor beside their bed by the time Blake had caught up with her, furiously rummaging around for the luggage that was stored underneath it.
“Leighton, don’t go,” the blonde pleaded, knowing that everything she said and anything she could say would sound useless and pathetic in the wake of what she had done, but she had to try. “Tell me what I can do to fix this; you know I want to!”
“Do you!?” Leighton stood up, doing a successful job of snarling in Blake’s face despite being several inches shorter in height. “Because I don’t really know what you want anymore!”
“I want you!”
When Blake swiftly grabbed Leighton’s wrist as she argued her desires, the brunette was quick to try to escape. Blake was faster though and held her close, but she could not have predicted Leighton’s change of heart and her suddenly smashing their mouths together; so forcefully that the harsh clash of their teeth was painful against their lips.
It was like a replay of the field hockey scene all over again as Leighton dragged Blake over her onto the bed, only this time it was fueled by real anger and hurt. There were no flirtatious giggles or curious fingertips at the back of Blake’s neck or butterflies in her stomach from having the chance to straddle her cute new co-star over and over again. And there was certainly no debating who was in charge, as the blonde’s tongue was bitten into so hard that she could taste faint traces of blood.
Blake’s hands were pushed to the zipper of Leighton’s shorts, and then soon her head was being pushed to the juncture of spread thighs, giving her a clear message of what she was supposed to do. So, she dug in her fingers and licked at the flesh she was being offered in the most ungentle manner she could, while the woman above her clenched her nails into her scalp until she whimpered in pain.
The full weight of the mistake she had made began to settle over Blake as everything Leighton assaulted her senses. The taste, the feeling, the sounds - it all made her wonder why she had ever thought that a quick, late night hook-up with Penn had been worth anything. Even with their history, it could never compare to anything she had shared with Leighton. The simplest things had made her fall in love with the brunette - her dark eyes that always seemed to be seducing, the way she could go from bitchy to just needing a hug at the drop of a very ugly wardrobe hat, her smile, the miracle that occurred when she went without makeup yet still looked more beautiful than everyone else, her affinity for pop music, and a million other oddities. And such were the reasons why Blake could not figure out why she had chanced throwing that love away.
“I hate you!” Leighton hissed, her voice still laced with tones of ecstasy even as she tried to hold them back. She was writhing against Blake’s mouth and as much as she hated to admit it her legs were beginning to quake from the fingers working in and out of her; providing just enough pleasure with the pain. Even if they were at each other’s throats they still had an undeniable connection. The blonde knew her soft spots and she knew hers in return; they had spent enough evenings committing the details of each other’s bodies to memory to know.
The sting of the words was worse than anything physical Blake was feeling, but the blow was lessened by hearing Leighton as she came moments later, gasping and moaning just as sexily as she always did despite what she had said.
The room went quiet, save the brunette’s heavy breaths and Blake waited patiently for her head to be slowly released from its hold. She rested her cheek on the soft thigh in front of her, but was quickly displaced when Leighton sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees.
“I guess that’s it…you can leave now,” she plainly informed, and then set her jaw in an obvious attempt to seem unfazed. She did not know if wanting to feel Blake one last time was pleasure or torture, it only reminded her of what she had just lost to Penn.
Blake’s brows creased in confusion. “What?”
“What!? You thought I was just going to have you fuck me and then everything would be okay!?” Leighton spat sarcastically. “Well, you thought wrong. You can go now and you can take this worthless piece of metal with you, because apparently it doesn’t mean anything!” She finished with the cruelest, yet most appropriate thing to do and Blake watched in pure agony as she slipped her platinum and white diamond engagement ring off her finger.
When the warm metal was shoved into the blonde’s palm she was hatefully rewarded with just a small taste of the anguish she had carelessly caused Leighton. In the entire three months since Blake had put the ring on her girlfriend’s finger, she had never seen her remove it. And even though it was her fault that it was being returned, it still hurt more than she could have imagined.
“Take it, I don’t want it anymore…” Leighton said in a broken voice that did nothing to mask the fact that she still desperately wanted the ring and what it symbolized. It made the tears that had been threatening to fall spill from both of their eyes.
Hardly able to watch as Leighton succumbed to her emotions, Blake decided to be the good girlfriend that she was not and retrieved the box of tissues from their bedside table instead. Then, she gently cradled the smaller woman’s face in her hand and lightly dabbed at the moisture trailing down her cheeks.
“It’s not worthless,” Blake sniffled, “That’s not true, it means everything to me, you mean everything to me.”
Leave it to Blake to break her heart and still be there to wipe away the tears that were her fault. Leighton could not even work up enough anger to glare because somehow she knew it was the truth. But if she was ever going to forgive Blake it could not be tonight, if she let her off that easy she would lose her self-respect and at the moment, it was all she had.
“Please, Blake…I just need you to leave.”
Biting her lip to stop herself from breaking down, Blake nodded and tried to focus her gaze on anything besides the fiancée she had most likely just lost. “Okay, I’ll go…” she whispered quietly, and then before getting up to leave she pressed a kiss to the brunette’s cheek and lingered there for a few seconds. “I love you, Leighton.”
Bringing her hand up to cover her burning eyes, Leighton nodded, silently acknowledging the statement. “I love you too,” came her sincere, tearful reply, because even though she had been betrayed by Blake in a way she had never expected, it could not make the feelings go away.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Almost a month later, Leighton was answering an unexpected knock at the apartment door and being caught completely off guard by finding Blake swaying against the doorjamb with alcohol hazed eyes. She did not even have the chance to ask her estranged fiancée where she had disappeared to for the past three weeks before she was taking the inebriated woman’s wrist and leading her inside.
“Lei…” Blake slurred pitifully as she was guided to the couch, so pitifully in fact that the brunette could not be sure if Blake was using her nickname or was just unable to manage more than one syllable in such a state.
“Ugh, you’re a mess,” Leighton stated aloud, while sitting the blonde down. She was slightly annoyed, but all that changed when she was met with glassy blue eyes and Blake suddenly being reduced to heavy, anguished sobs.
“I-I miss you. I want to come home!” the blonde cried, looking and sounding very much like a young child who had been scolded for misbehaving. She had even placed her head between her knees and locked her hands over her head, completing the image.
Leighton cracked a smile and had to hold herself back from giggling, because even though they had parted on horrible terms, no one could make intoxicated and apologetic as sadly adorable as Blake could. Sitting down, Leighton rubbed her girlfriend’s back comfortingly and tried to calm her down. “It’s okay, don’t cry…”
“I’m sorry!” Blake continued to sob, rapidly bringing her head up and speaking wildly as she concentrated on the brunette’s face. “I r-really am, I’m so sorry! I am!”
And then, Leighton did laugh and her own eyes began to tear a little as well. “Okay, Blake, just settle down now.”
“I can’t stop thinking of you, I feel so bad! I don’t even like Penn…he’s not as pretty as you, Lei!” Blake struggled to spit out all of the thoughts filling her head at a hardly understandable speed. In her delirium, she did not notice that she sounded like a blathering idiot and that somehow through that she was doing a perfect job of bringing down the barriers Leighton had erected in her absence.
Realizing that Blake was not going to stop with her rambling unless provoked, Leighton did the only thing that she could think of to make her shut up - she stood and walked away from her.
The blonde’s flow of thoughts into random nonsense almost immediately stopped and was replaced by saddened defeat. Her face fell and she hung her head once more, not even bothering to look over the back of the couch to see what her girlfriend had abandoned her for, which happened to be two aspirins and a glass of water.
“Here, take these and drink some water,” Leighton gently advised, as she sat back down. “You might not feel as bad tomorrow.”
Blake’s expression was blank and confused as she looked from the white tablets to brunette’s face. “Aren’t you going to yell at me?”
Leighton set the aspirin and water onto the table, and then took Blake’s face between her hands. “I’m not going to yell at you, at least not right now anyway,” she said with a smirk while brushing her thumbs along the blonde’s cheekbones. “We need to talk about this later, like maybe in the morning…when you’re not so drunk. Okay?”
“Okay…” Blake quietly agreed, nodding her head very carefully so that Leighton’s hands would remain in place.
“Alright, well…why don’t you lay down for now and then I’ll see you in the morning,” the brunette stated before moving to go into the master bedroom.
“Wait, Leighton,” Blake requested and caught her girlfriend’s wrist with her hand, “Lay with me, just for a while.”
There were a few moments of hesitation while Leighton asked herself if humoring the request was really a good idea, but in the end she could not turn away from the pleading eyes that were focused on her. It should have been easy to say no after what Blake had done to her, but while she had been gone she had been greatly missed as well, much to Leighton’s dismay.
Leighton sighed and snagged the cashmere blanket off the back of the couch. “Fine, lie down.”
Within minutes of having Leighton curled up against her side, Blake was passed out, content in having her face carelessly smashed into the head of dark hair lying on her shoulder. But for Leighton sleep did not come as easily, not when she had so many questions still bouncing around in her head.
She just wanted to forget that Blake had let her love for her lapse, and she wanted to stop trying to figure out why, even if it was just for a short time. It still hurt too much to think about it, so instead, Leighton tried to distract herself by clasping her hand with Blake’s and stroking the soft skin there. But that only led her to find something that broke her heart all over again and made her feel guilty when she should have felt nothing of the sort.
On Blake’s smallest finger, right next to her own engagement ring, the ring that Leighton had returned was forced over her knuckles; obviously being too small to fit anywhere else. Seeing it there made the brunette think of how every time she had looked at her finger over the past weeks she was still reminded of Blake by the subtle tan line the band had left behind, and of how that had brought her to tears.
“You bitch…” Leighton shakily whispered, while squeezing her sleeping girlfriend’s hand and pressing her face to her chest. “You don’t know what you do to me.”