Maybe, Supernatural, NC-17, Broken!Verse
Fandom: Supernatural
Title: Maybe
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Dean, John, Ellen, Bobby, Caleb, Pastor Jim, Jo, Ash, OMC, OFC
Rating: NC-17 (for thematic reasons)
Word Count: 3264
Summary: Broken!Verse, chapter 47 ( Click here for Index of all chapters)
Summary: The hunters regroup. Sam and Dean head north. Gabe questions what is happening between him and Caleb. Dean surprises Sam.
A/Ns and Warnings: Very dark. Includes memory of torture and rape and very dark violence.
Gabe’s eyes scanned the diner, and he pointed to the back where he could see Jo waving at them. “Looks like everyone’s here.”
“I’m going to the restroom. Get me something to drink and a burger or something.” Allen said, slipping into the corridor under the restroom sign.
Gabe nodded and headed back. “You guys made good time.” John said.
“Yeah…we got lucky.”
“We just got here ourselves.” John said.
“Saved you a seat though.” Jo said, scooting closer to her mother.
Gabe rolled his eyes, but slid into the booth next to her, leaving the empty chair on the outside for his father. “Got some news on the radio coming in.”
He looked up at the waitress and ordered his father a lemonade and his hamburger and a glass of water and fried chicken for himself. “The FBI has seized all property associated with the Gorlian organization, and several prominent people have been arrested. Including two FBI higher ups.” He smiled thank you to the waitress and took a long drink from his water. “The two missing Gorlians are presumed dead.”
“Anything tying our fire with them?” Ellen asked.
Gabe shook his head. “Ash probably covered their tracks well. He probably knew we’d find the connection when he finally broke into the data I stole.” He made a face as Allen joined them. “I don’t like to admit it, but he’s better than I am.”
“So. Here we are. What’s next?” Bobby asked, looking to John.
John nodded slowly. “Next? You all get on buses, or into cars or whatever, and get on with your lives.” He downed his own glass of water as they stared at them. “I hunt down Andrew and his nephews and finish this.”
Ellen shook her head. “We can’t leave you alone. And, for that matter, we can’t just go back to our lives. Ash knows where Jo and I live, where Bobby lives. He can find where Caleb lives easy enough.”
John held up his hands. “I’m not going to argue with you Ellen. You probably can’t go home just yet. But I don’t want you out here anymore.”
Bobby crossed his arms and stared at John for a minute. “So…you’re trying to leave your boys with nothing but each other, as broken up as they are?”
“Don’t start with me Bobby.”
“None of us will be safe until their done. Gone.” Allen said softly. He didn’t often disagree with John Winchester, and heaven knew he wanted Gabe out of this before anything more happened to him, but he knew he spoke the truth. “Ash thinks he got us, and there’s no telling where the three of them are by now. It’s been 24 hours.”
“Well, if I can get somewhere with a wireless connection, I can probably trace Ash…unless he found the virus.” Gabe said. They all looked up at him as he took his food from the waitress. “What?”
“Gabe, what virus?” Allen asked patiently.
Gabe grinned and shoved two French fries into his mouth, chewing and swallowing before answering. “The one I tunneled into the data I knew he’d try to destroy.”
Allen crossed his arms and stared at his son. “What? I said he was better. I’m still smarter.” He shrugged. “When I realized…before I found the signal…I cleaned up the tracks that would lead him to the replication sites, and buried a virus into the original set of data, one that would attach itself to his machine when he deleted the data. If he’s using the computer…and hasn’t wiped it…or found the virus, I should be able to track what he’s doing…maybe piggyback and find a location.”
“That’s a lot of ifs.” John grumbled.
“And a pretty big maybe.” Bobby added.
“You got something better?” Caleb asked them, leaning forward. No one said anything. “Didn’t think so.”
North. Sam had decided north. So he drove. He tried not to think, just drive. Get them away, get them far enough away that he wasn’t watching in the rear view for someone following them…so he didn’t twitch every time a man looked at them for longer than a casual glance.
North. From Tulsa, Oklahoma. Through Kansas. West into Colorado.
It felt like re-treading old familiar steps. Like he’d been here. Which he had. He stopped them in Denver. Stopped them with Dean pretending to sleep and Sam’s bladder was full and he had a desperate need for coffee.
“Dean. I’m going to go inside and pee. Do you need to go?”
His eyes opened. That was something. Sam closed his door, opened the back door. “Come on Dean. It’s time to take care of your body’s needs okay? You need to pee, get cleaned up. Eat.”
Dean sat up slowly, his legs sliding out of the car. “Cold.”
Sam shivered, as if he needed Dean to tell him it was cold. “Yeah. It is. Let’s get inside.”
A full service truck stop with convenient store and diner and showers in the back…Sam guided Dean through, past the displays of Colorado t-shirts and into the bathroom. “Do you need help Dean?” Sam asked softly, not really caring if they were over heard.
Dean shook his head. “Okay. You go ahead. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Sam slid into a stall and unzipped. He was tired. So freaking tired. He wanted to curl up in a bed with Dean and sleep for a month. More. Almost wanted to never wake up.
That thought should startle him, but instead it was soothing. The thought of finally letting go and having Dean in his arms forever…Sam leaned against the wall of the stall and relieved himself, his eyes closed. He just wanted to forget…to rewind it all to before he left…and never leave…never hurt Dean the way he had…never run away.
He stood there until he heard some small sound of distress that reminded him of Dean. Shaking his head, Sam stood upright, flushed and tucked himself in before coming out of the stall to find Dean standing alone beside the stall he’d gone into. “It’s okay Dean. I’m right here.”
“Gone. You were gone.” Dean said and Sam nodded.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m here now though, okay?” Sam didn’t know if he should be relieved Dean was talking or distressed at how far he had regressed…and instead of either he chose to shut down any feeling at all, and just deal.
“Let’s wash up and get something to eat. Then we can get on the road again.” Dean let Sam wash his hands and Sam herded him back out into the store, rounding up a small horde of food easy to eat on the road, along with a few packages of caffeine pills and a cup of coffee.
Dean stood beside the passenger door and waited while Sam put the food in the backseat. “You riding up front with me, Dean?” Sam asked. He knew it was important to keep talking, because eventually Dean would respond. He unlocked the door and held it open for Dean, then hobbled around to the other side. The cast had to come off. “I’m thinking maybe we’ll stop somewhere tomorrow, get a room, get some sleep. We can get your hair cut, maybe some new clothes.”
Sam started the car and pulled them out, merging in with the trucks that seemed to be the only traffic at this hour. North. Out of Denver. Away from the pattern that would have taken them west into Utah, on their way to California. North.
“I got nothing.” Gabe said, flopping on to the bed in frustration, his laptop bobbling on the mattress next to him. Caleb looked up from the magazine he was reading.
“You’ve been at it for hours. Why don’t you take a break?”
“Easy for you to say…you don’t have the weight of John Winchester’s expectations riding on your shoulders.” He sighed. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have said anything. I wasn’t sure…I hadn’t checked…I’m not that reckless.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re all tired. We’re all stressed. We’ve all made mistakes.”
That only made Gabe pout. Pout. Which only furthered his frustration with himself. Because…maybe that’s all this was, maybe Caleb only saw him as a mistake…something he wouldn’t have done if he hadn’t been so…broken…and god what kind of monster was he, that he could take advantage of a friend like that?
He ran a hand over his face. No one had even argued when Caleb had divided them up into groups for the rooms. No one had said a thing when Gabe disappeared into Caleb’s room. He sighed again.
“What can I do to help?” Caleb asked, putting down the magazine and turning toward Gabe.
“Help?” Gabe’s voice was little more than a squeak. He shook his head. “Nothing.” No, he was pretty well fucked without any help. He could see that. “I think…I’ll take a shower…maybe if I walk away for a bit…” He stood up and pulled his shirt off, dropping it on the bed before kicking off his shoes and heading toward the bathroom.
He was at the bathroom door when Caleb cleared his throat. “You want company?”
Gabe turned to look at him, but Caleb wasn’t looking at Gabe, he had his head down, looking at the floor. Gabe held his breath for a moment, then walked back to Caleb, one hand on his chin. He didn’t know what to say. “I…do…but…I think I need…” He sighed. “For right now, I need some time to think, okay?”
Caleb nodded. Somehow though, Gabe wasn’t sure if Caleb understood…or really if he even did. Not that he didn’t…like what was happening between them…maybe he liked it too much…maybe now wasn’t the time…maybe he was just starting to realize how wrong the whole thing was.
He walked away, stopped again at the bathroom door. “I…just don’t want to rush…break…” He wanted to say that he didn’t want to break Caleb any more than he was already broken…but he couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come out.
Caleb inhaled deeply and the sound was jarring. Gabe stiffened. “I don’t want you to hate me.” Gabe said finally, softly. “I don’t want to be some mistake you made because you weren’t thinking straight.”
Caleb nodded slowly and stood. His hand was soft on Gabe’s cheek. “You will never be a mistake, Gabe. Never.”
Gabe closed his eyes. He wanted to believe that. “I took advantage of you…I shouldn’t have…”
Caleb’s kiss startled him, though it was soft, tender even. “Gabe, you didn’t take anything. I gave it to you.”
Gabe’s eyes opened again…searching Caleb’s face. “Yeah?”
Caleb nodded. “Yeah.” He stepped back to give Gabe room to get into the bathroom. “But if you want it to be just…that…just what we did…if you don’t want more…”
“No.” Gabe’s hand was on his arm now, pulling him back. “No…it isn’t that. God…not that.” He kissed Caleb now, his self doubt pushed back a little as Caleb’s lips parted easily. He shook his head as he pulled back. “When this whole mess with Andrew is over, you and I need to find time to work this whole thing out.”
Caleb grinned. “I’m sure we can arrange something.”
Gabe blushed and rolled his eyes. “I really am going to take a shower now.”
“Still want to do it alone?”
John sighed and gave up trying to pretend to sleep. He sat up and reached for his jeans. It was two in the morning. Couldn’t even go to a bar and get drunk. He pulled a hand through his hair and shoved himself into his jeans. He should at least let Bobby sleep. He sighed again and reached for his boots.
Maybe he could just get some air. He grabbed his key to the room and let himself out into the night air. He knew he couldn’t let this continue. Two nights with no sleep could get him killed. Worse, it could get others killed.
He shook his head. He found it disturbing that for as often as he tried to send them away, they were all still there. Even Ellen and Jo, who had the least reason to be there. He’d killed Bill. And now, Ellen knew that.
He leaned on the railing and looked down at the parking lot below them. Plenty of easy marks, doors unlocked…he could take one and leave. If they wouldn’t leave him, he’d leave them. Go after Andrew and his fucking nephews himself.
Except he didn’t know where to start looking.
His pocket vibrated and he reached for the phone distractedly. He blinked at the name on the caller id, then lifted it. “Sam?”
“Yeah…I…I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“We’re fine.” John said gruffly. “You and Dean?”
Sam was quiet for a minute. “We…we’re good….okay I mean. Got the car.”
“Good.”
“Pastor Jim said something was up…and you didn’t come out to say goodbye…”
“Yeah…we…we’re not at the cabin anymore. Ash…it was Ash.”
“What was Ash?”
“He…it turns out he was Michael Harvelle’s son, Sam. He blew the place up.” John shook his head. “And Andrew…Andrew isn’t…he’s Michael’s brother in law.”
“The other Gorlian?”
“Yeah. So look…don’t…don’t trust anyone, Sam. No one. Just go.”
“What about you?”
“I’m going to finish it. You just…you call when…when…” He couldn’t finish the thought, couldn’t say what he was thinking…when Dean wouldn’t be hurt anymore…when he could be in the same room as his boys and not cause them more pain.
“I will. Be careful Dad.”
“You too.”
Sam hung up the phone and looked at Dean. They were somewhere in the middle of nowhere Wyoming. He figured they’d stop in Billings and sleep.
“Dad’s okay, Dean.” Sam said, his voice sounding strained and stressed.
Dean suddenly looked at him. “Sam.” He looked around him, looked at the car. “Pull over.”
“Dean?” Sam eased them off the road, and before he was even stopped, Dean had his door open. He was out of the car and stumbling to the grass on the side of the road. “Dean?”
He held up his hand, squatted. He was gulping air and then suddenly vomiting. When he was done he stood slowly, wiping his face with one hand and turning to look at Sam. “What?”
Sam blinked and shook his head. “N-nothing. You…okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Dean moved back to the car. “Must have been something I ate.”
Sam looked at him, squinting in the light from the street lights over the interstate. “Dude, what are you staring at?”
“You…you’ve been catatonic for the last two days, Dean.”
Dean leaned on the roof of the car. “You’re losing it Sammy.”
“No…I…” He licked his lips. “What…what’s the last thing you remember before just now?”
Dean made a pissy face. “Dad asked us to take those books back to Bobby and wait there for him to finish that hunt. We’ve been on the road since.”
Sam swallowed. That was almost three and a half years ago. Their last trip to Bobby’s before…before everything…Before he told Dean about Stanford. Before he left. Before.
Sam shook his head and looked away, up the interstate. “You…we already went to Bobby’s Dean. We’re…you hit your head.”
“Hit my head?” Dean ran a hand over his head and confusion crossed his face. His hair was longer than Dean ever let it get. He bent down to look in the side mirror. “What the fuck?”
“It’s…been a while…you…fuck.” Sam wanted to be sick. Dean had to have repressed it all…found a way to function…”Dean. Get in the car. I’ll try to explain.”
“How long Sam?”
“How long what?”
Dean was pissed now. “How much am I missing here. It’s more than a few days.”
“Settle down.”
“Not until you tell me.”
Sam laid both hands flat on the roof of the car. “Its bad, okay? Just get in the car…and we’ll figure it out.”
“Sam.” Dean’s voice was a growl.
“Dean, please. I…I just need you to…get in the car.” Sam exhaled slowly and lowered himself back into the driver’s seat, closing the door and waiting. Dean would get in eventually, because…he had to.
It took a minute, but he did. Slowly. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Sam. “You look spooked.” Dean said quietly, then his eyes fell on the cast. “What?” He pointed.
Sam nodded, both hands on the steering wheel to center himself. “Broken.” And fuck if that wasn’t the truth. “We were both pretty…banged up. Mostly healed now. I still have some stitches…”He couldn’t look at Dean. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do.” He swallowed. “We’re going to keep going until we get to Billings. We’ll get a room. We’ll call Dad. Figure out what to do.”
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”
Sam shook his head. “Not…not right now. I need to…I need you to trust me right now…okay?”
Dean nodded. “Okay. I trust you Sam. But if you think I’m letting you drive my car with a busted up leg, you’ve got another thing coming.”
“Dean-“
“My car.” Dean slapped his arm lightly. “Besides, you look like you’re ready to pass out. Come on. Move your ass.”
Sam couldn’t disagree with that assessment, though he wasn’t sure if it was the twenty four hours or more without real sleep or the shock that was more threatening…He opened his door again and got out, hobbling around the car while Dean slid across the seat.
His brother looked so at home behind the wheel that Sam could almost believe it could be that easy. But as Dean pulled them back onto the road, and Sam huddled into himself in the passenger seat, he knew nothing was ever that easy.
Gabe sat in the corner of the booth, with Caleb beside him…protecting him…as John and Ellen joined them. Caleb poured them each coffee from the decanter the waitress had left on the table, and Gabe tried to hide behind his computer. He knew John was staring at him.
Caleb’s hand found Gabe’s knee under the table.
“Well?” John asked, his voice gruff.
Gabe felt light headed as he looked up. “Ash really is better than me.”
John sighed explosively and Ellen quieted him with a hand on his arm. Gabe ducked his head and poked at his keyboard. “I got a ping from the virus…but it was fast and gone and he must have found it.”
“It’s okay, Gabe, it was worth a shot.” Ellen said, looking up as Allen joined them.
“Hey, you guys see the news this morning?” He pulled a chair from another table and straddled it.
“What?” John asked as Allen reached for the coffee.
“There was an accident, last night on the interstate. A truck that looked an awful lot like Andrew’s was totaled by a semi.” He poured his coffee and took a sip. “Mighty convenient that there were three men found dead inside it, two of which match the descriptions of Andrew and Ash.”
John growled. “You don’t believe it was them.”
Allen shook his head. “No. I believe they’re making the last of themselves disappear.”
Gabe groaned and closed his laptop. “We’ll never find them now.”
“Does that mean it’s over?” Ellen asked, looking up at John.
John closed his eyes and leaned back against the booth. “I don’t know Ellen. Maybe they believe we’re all dead. Maybe they don’t…”
“So…what do we do now?” Gabe asked, his hands sliding under the table and finding Caleb’s.
“We go home.” Ellen said. “And we wait.”
Title: Maybe
Characters/Pairings: Sam/Dean, John, Ellen, Bobby, Caleb, Pastor Jim, Jo, Ash, OMC, OFC
Rating: NC-17 (for thematic reasons)
Word Count: 3264
Summary: Broken!Verse, chapter 47 ( Click here for Index of all chapters)
Summary: The hunters regroup. Sam and Dean head north. Gabe questions what is happening between him and Caleb. Dean surprises Sam.
A/Ns and Warnings: Very dark. Includes memory of torture and rape and very dark violence.
Gabe’s eyes scanned the diner, and he pointed to the back where he could see Jo waving at them. “Looks like everyone’s here.”
“I’m going to the restroom. Get me something to drink and a burger or something.” Allen said, slipping into the corridor under the restroom sign.
Gabe nodded and headed back. “You guys made good time.” John said.
“Yeah…we got lucky.”
“We just got here ourselves.” John said.
“Saved you a seat though.” Jo said, scooting closer to her mother.
Gabe rolled his eyes, but slid into the booth next to her, leaving the empty chair on the outside for his father. “Got some news on the radio coming in.”
He looked up at the waitress and ordered his father a lemonade and his hamburger and a glass of water and fried chicken for himself. “The FBI has seized all property associated with the Gorlian organization, and several prominent people have been arrested. Including two FBI higher ups.” He smiled thank you to the waitress and took a long drink from his water. “The two missing Gorlians are presumed dead.”
“Anything tying our fire with them?” Ellen asked.
Gabe shook his head. “Ash probably covered their tracks well. He probably knew we’d find the connection when he finally broke into the data I stole.” He made a face as Allen joined them. “I don’t like to admit it, but he’s better than I am.”
“So. Here we are. What’s next?” Bobby asked, looking to John.
John nodded slowly. “Next? You all get on buses, or into cars or whatever, and get on with your lives.” He downed his own glass of water as they stared at them. “I hunt down Andrew and his nephews and finish this.”
Ellen shook her head. “We can’t leave you alone. And, for that matter, we can’t just go back to our lives. Ash knows where Jo and I live, where Bobby lives. He can find where Caleb lives easy enough.”
John held up his hands. “I’m not going to argue with you Ellen. You probably can’t go home just yet. But I don’t want you out here anymore.”
Bobby crossed his arms and stared at John for a minute. “So…you’re trying to leave your boys with nothing but each other, as broken up as they are?”
“Don’t start with me Bobby.”
“None of us will be safe until their done. Gone.” Allen said softly. He didn’t often disagree with John Winchester, and heaven knew he wanted Gabe out of this before anything more happened to him, but he knew he spoke the truth. “Ash thinks he got us, and there’s no telling where the three of them are by now. It’s been 24 hours.”
“Well, if I can get somewhere with a wireless connection, I can probably trace Ash…unless he found the virus.” Gabe said. They all looked up at him as he took his food from the waitress. “What?”
“Gabe, what virus?” Allen asked patiently.
Gabe grinned and shoved two French fries into his mouth, chewing and swallowing before answering. “The one I tunneled into the data I knew he’d try to destroy.”
Allen crossed his arms and stared at his son. “What? I said he was better. I’m still smarter.” He shrugged. “When I realized…before I found the signal…I cleaned up the tracks that would lead him to the replication sites, and buried a virus into the original set of data, one that would attach itself to his machine when he deleted the data. If he’s using the computer…and hasn’t wiped it…or found the virus, I should be able to track what he’s doing…maybe piggyback and find a location.”
“That’s a lot of ifs.” John grumbled.
“And a pretty big maybe.” Bobby added.
“You got something better?” Caleb asked them, leaning forward. No one said anything. “Didn’t think so.”
North. Sam had decided north. So he drove. He tried not to think, just drive. Get them away, get them far enough away that he wasn’t watching in the rear view for someone following them…so he didn’t twitch every time a man looked at them for longer than a casual glance.
North. From Tulsa, Oklahoma. Through Kansas. West into Colorado.
It felt like re-treading old familiar steps. Like he’d been here. Which he had. He stopped them in Denver. Stopped them with Dean pretending to sleep and Sam’s bladder was full and he had a desperate need for coffee.
“Dean. I’m going to go inside and pee. Do you need to go?”
His eyes opened. That was something. Sam closed his door, opened the back door. “Come on Dean. It’s time to take care of your body’s needs okay? You need to pee, get cleaned up. Eat.”
Dean sat up slowly, his legs sliding out of the car. “Cold.”
Sam shivered, as if he needed Dean to tell him it was cold. “Yeah. It is. Let’s get inside.”
A full service truck stop with convenient store and diner and showers in the back…Sam guided Dean through, past the displays of Colorado t-shirts and into the bathroom. “Do you need help Dean?” Sam asked softly, not really caring if they were over heard.
Dean shook his head. “Okay. You go ahead. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
Sam slid into a stall and unzipped. He was tired. So freaking tired. He wanted to curl up in a bed with Dean and sleep for a month. More. Almost wanted to never wake up.
That thought should startle him, but instead it was soothing. The thought of finally letting go and having Dean in his arms forever…Sam leaned against the wall of the stall and relieved himself, his eyes closed. He just wanted to forget…to rewind it all to before he left…and never leave…never hurt Dean the way he had…never run away.
He stood there until he heard some small sound of distress that reminded him of Dean. Shaking his head, Sam stood upright, flushed and tucked himself in before coming out of the stall to find Dean standing alone beside the stall he’d gone into. “It’s okay Dean. I’m right here.”
“Gone. You were gone.” Dean said and Sam nodded.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m here now though, okay?” Sam didn’t know if he should be relieved Dean was talking or distressed at how far he had regressed…and instead of either he chose to shut down any feeling at all, and just deal.
“Let’s wash up and get something to eat. Then we can get on the road again.” Dean let Sam wash his hands and Sam herded him back out into the store, rounding up a small horde of food easy to eat on the road, along with a few packages of caffeine pills and a cup of coffee.
Dean stood beside the passenger door and waited while Sam put the food in the backseat. “You riding up front with me, Dean?” Sam asked. He knew it was important to keep talking, because eventually Dean would respond. He unlocked the door and held it open for Dean, then hobbled around to the other side. The cast had to come off. “I’m thinking maybe we’ll stop somewhere tomorrow, get a room, get some sleep. We can get your hair cut, maybe some new clothes.”
Sam started the car and pulled them out, merging in with the trucks that seemed to be the only traffic at this hour. North. Out of Denver. Away from the pattern that would have taken them west into Utah, on their way to California. North.
“I got nothing.” Gabe said, flopping on to the bed in frustration, his laptop bobbling on the mattress next to him. Caleb looked up from the magazine he was reading.
“You’ve been at it for hours. Why don’t you take a break?”
“Easy for you to say…you don’t have the weight of John Winchester’s expectations riding on your shoulders.” He sighed. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I shouldn’t have said anything. I wasn’t sure…I hadn’t checked…I’m not that reckless.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re all tired. We’re all stressed. We’ve all made mistakes.”
That only made Gabe pout. Pout. Which only furthered his frustration with himself. Because…maybe that’s all this was, maybe Caleb only saw him as a mistake…something he wouldn’t have done if he hadn’t been so…broken…and god what kind of monster was he, that he could take advantage of a friend like that?
He ran a hand over his face. No one had even argued when Caleb had divided them up into groups for the rooms. No one had said a thing when Gabe disappeared into Caleb’s room. He sighed again.
“What can I do to help?” Caleb asked, putting down the magazine and turning toward Gabe.
“Help?” Gabe’s voice was little more than a squeak. He shook his head. “Nothing.” No, he was pretty well fucked without any help. He could see that. “I think…I’ll take a shower…maybe if I walk away for a bit…” He stood up and pulled his shirt off, dropping it on the bed before kicking off his shoes and heading toward the bathroom.
He was at the bathroom door when Caleb cleared his throat. “You want company?”
Gabe turned to look at him, but Caleb wasn’t looking at Gabe, he had his head down, looking at the floor. Gabe held his breath for a moment, then walked back to Caleb, one hand on his chin. He didn’t know what to say. “I…do…but…I think I need…” He sighed. “For right now, I need some time to think, okay?”
Caleb nodded. Somehow though, Gabe wasn’t sure if Caleb understood…or really if he even did. Not that he didn’t…like what was happening between them…maybe he liked it too much…maybe now wasn’t the time…maybe he was just starting to realize how wrong the whole thing was.
He walked away, stopped again at the bathroom door. “I…just don’t want to rush…break…” He wanted to say that he didn’t want to break Caleb any more than he was already broken…but he couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come out.
Caleb inhaled deeply and the sound was jarring. Gabe stiffened. “I don’t want you to hate me.” Gabe said finally, softly. “I don’t want to be some mistake you made because you weren’t thinking straight.”
Caleb nodded slowly and stood. His hand was soft on Gabe’s cheek. “You will never be a mistake, Gabe. Never.”
Gabe closed his eyes. He wanted to believe that. “I took advantage of you…I shouldn’t have…”
Caleb’s kiss startled him, though it was soft, tender even. “Gabe, you didn’t take anything. I gave it to you.”
Gabe’s eyes opened again…searching Caleb’s face. “Yeah?”
Caleb nodded. “Yeah.” He stepped back to give Gabe room to get into the bathroom. “But if you want it to be just…that…just what we did…if you don’t want more…”
“No.” Gabe’s hand was on his arm now, pulling him back. “No…it isn’t that. God…not that.” He kissed Caleb now, his self doubt pushed back a little as Caleb’s lips parted easily. He shook his head as he pulled back. “When this whole mess with Andrew is over, you and I need to find time to work this whole thing out.”
Caleb grinned. “I’m sure we can arrange something.”
Gabe blushed and rolled his eyes. “I really am going to take a shower now.”
“Still want to do it alone?”
John sighed and gave up trying to pretend to sleep. He sat up and reached for his jeans. It was two in the morning. Couldn’t even go to a bar and get drunk. He pulled a hand through his hair and shoved himself into his jeans. He should at least let Bobby sleep. He sighed again and reached for his boots.
Maybe he could just get some air. He grabbed his key to the room and let himself out into the night air. He knew he couldn’t let this continue. Two nights with no sleep could get him killed. Worse, it could get others killed.
He shook his head. He found it disturbing that for as often as he tried to send them away, they were all still there. Even Ellen and Jo, who had the least reason to be there. He’d killed Bill. And now, Ellen knew that.
He leaned on the railing and looked down at the parking lot below them. Plenty of easy marks, doors unlocked…he could take one and leave. If they wouldn’t leave him, he’d leave them. Go after Andrew and his fucking nephews himself.
Except he didn’t know where to start looking.
His pocket vibrated and he reached for the phone distractedly. He blinked at the name on the caller id, then lifted it. “Sam?”
“Yeah…I…I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“We’re fine.” John said gruffly. “You and Dean?”
Sam was quiet for a minute. “We…we’re good….okay I mean. Got the car.”
“Good.”
“Pastor Jim said something was up…and you didn’t come out to say goodbye…”
“Yeah…we…we’re not at the cabin anymore. Ash…it was Ash.”
“What was Ash?”
“He…it turns out he was Michael Harvelle’s son, Sam. He blew the place up.” John shook his head. “And Andrew…Andrew isn’t…he’s Michael’s brother in law.”
“The other Gorlian?”
“Yeah. So look…don’t…don’t trust anyone, Sam. No one. Just go.”
“What about you?”
“I’m going to finish it. You just…you call when…when…” He couldn’t finish the thought, couldn’t say what he was thinking…when Dean wouldn’t be hurt anymore…when he could be in the same room as his boys and not cause them more pain.
“I will. Be careful Dad.”
“You too.”
Sam hung up the phone and looked at Dean. They were somewhere in the middle of nowhere Wyoming. He figured they’d stop in Billings and sleep.
“Dad’s okay, Dean.” Sam said, his voice sounding strained and stressed.
Dean suddenly looked at him. “Sam.” He looked around him, looked at the car. “Pull over.”
“Dean?” Sam eased them off the road, and before he was even stopped, Dean had his door open. He was out of the car and stumbling to the grass on the side of the road. “Dean?”
He held up his hand, squatted. He was gulping air and then suddenly vomiting. When he was done he stood slowly, wiping his face with one hand and turning to look at Sam. “What?”
Sam blinked and shook his head. “N-nothing. You…okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Dean moved back to the car. “Must have been something I ate.”
Sam looked at him, squinting in the light from the street lights over the interstate. “Dude, what are you staring at?”
“You…you’ve been catatonic for the last two days, Dean.”
Dean leaned on the roof of the car. “You’re losing it Sammy.”
“No…I…” He licked his lips. “What…what’s the last thing you remember before just now?”
Dean made a pissy face. “Dad asked us to take those books back to Bobby and wait there for him to finish that hunt. We’ve been on the road since.”
Sam swallowed. That was almost three and a half years ago. Their last trip to Bobby’s before…before everything…Before he told Dean about Stanford. Before he left. Before.
Sam shook his head and looked away, up the interstate. “You…we already went to Bobby’s Dean. We’re…you hit your head.”
“Hit my head?” Dean ran a hand over his head and confusion crossed his face. His hair was longer than Dean ever let it get. He bent down to look in the side mirror. “What the fuck?”
“It’s…been a while…you…fuck.” Sam wanted to be sick. Dean had to have repressed it all…found a way to function…”Dean. Get in the car. I’ll try to explain.”
“How long Sam?”
“How long what?”
Dean was pissed now. “How much am I missing here. It’s more than a few days.”
“Settle down.”
“Not until you tell me.”
Sam laid both hands flat on the roof of the car. “Its bad, okay? Just get in the car…and we’ll figure it out.”
“Sam.” Dean’s voice was a growl.
“Dean, please. I…I just need you to…get in the car.” Sam exhaled slowly and lowered himself back into the driver’s seat, closing the door and waiting. Dean would get in eventually, because…he had to.
It took a minute, but he did. Slowly. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Sam. “You look spooked.” Dean said quietly, then his eyes fell on the cast. “What?” He pointed.
Sam nodded, both hands on the steering wheel to center himself. “Broken.” And fuck if that wasn’t the truth. “We were both pretty…banged up. Mostly healed now. I still have some stitches…”He couldn’t look at Dean. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do.” He swallowed. “We’re going to keep going until we get to Billings. We’ll get a room. We’ll call Dad. Figure out what to do.”
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?”
Sam shook his head. “Not…not right now. I need to…I need you to trust me right now…okay?”
Dean nodded. “Okay. I trust you Sam. But if you think I’m letting you drive my car with a busted up leg, you’ve got another thing coming.”
“Dean-“
“My car.” Dean slapped his arm lightly. “Besides, you look like you’re ready to pass out. Come on. Move your ass.”
Sam couldn’t disagree with that assessment, though he wasn’t sure if it was the twenty four hours or more without real sleep or the shock that was more threatening…He opened his door again and got out, hobbling around the car while Dean slid across the seat.
His brother looked so at home behind the wheel that Sam could almost believe it could be that easy. But as Dean pulled them back onto the road, and Sam huddled into himself in the passenger seat, he knew nothing was ever that easy.
Gabe sat in the corner of the booth, with Caleb beside him…protecting him…as John and Ellen joined them. Caleb poured them each coffee from the decanter the waitress had left on the table, and Gabe tried to hide behind his computer. He knew John was staring at him.
Caleb’s hand found Gabe’s knee under the table.
“Well?” John asked, his voice gruff.
Gabe felt light headed as he looked up. “Ash really is better than me.”
John sighed explosively and Ellen quieted him with a hand on his arm. Gabe ducked his head and poked at his keyboard. “I got a ping from the virus…but it was fast and gone and he must have found it.”
“It’s okay, Gabe, it was worth a shot.” Ellen said, looking up as Allen joined them.
“Hey, you guys see the news this morning?” He pulled a chair from another table and straddled it.
“What?” John asked as Allen reached for the coffee.
“There was an accident, last night on the interstate. A truck that looked an awful lot like Andrew’s was totaled by a semi.” He poured his coffee and took a sip. “Mighty convenient that there were three men found dead inside it, two of which match the descriptions of Andrew and Ash.”
John growled. “You don’t believe it was them.”
Allen shook his head. “No. I believe they’re making the last of themselves disappear.”
Gabe groaned and closed his laptop. “We’ll never find them now.”
“Does that mean it’s over?” Ellen asked, looking up at John.
John closed his eyes and leaned back against the booth. “I don’t know Ellen. Maybe they believe we’re all dead. Maybe they don’t…”
“So…what do we do now?” Gabe asked, his hands sliding under the table and finding Caleb’s.
“We go home.” Ellen said. “And we wait.”