Fallen Angel -- Chapters 9 & 10
Title: Fallen Angel
Pairing: Angel/Wesley
Rating: NC-17
Setting: Part way through season 3, alternate universe type of thing (wherein I would take a different road than Joss...because last I checked, I wasn't Joss....)
Disclaimer: If wishes came true, Angel and Wesley would live in my closet, and I would play with them mightily...but alas...they do not
*cross posted to AO3*
Feedback: gladly accepted...
Summary: Wesley's journey into Angel's mind and the subsequent attack by Naan, leave Wesley connected emotionally to Angel, with access to all of the false memories Naan used to torment Angel...which only complicates the visit of his father and his ability to care for Angel....
Click here for chapters 1 & 2
Click here for chapters 3 & 4
Click here for chapters 5 & 6
Click here for chapters 7 & 8
Chapter 9
Wesley floated in a pool of serene blue light. Angel lay beside him, their bodies touching, connected. He knew if he moved Angel would as well. He felt safer and more comforted than he had since…well since he could remember.
He clung to the feeling, and was surprised to feel it clinging back. That was when he recognized Anna, the light surrounding him and buffering him from the world was Anna. As he acknowledged her she withdrew a little, and Wesley could feel his physical body again. He was on the floor, and he ached as if having just fought a battle. She pulled back a little more and he could move, slowly stretching muscles that stayed taut and tense. He wasn’t ready to try lifting his head. He aimed instead for trying to remember what had happened. He’d been inside Angel’s memory with Anan, and Naan had attacked them.
He remembered now. He could feel her hands on him. It seemed real, as if she had physically touched him. He exhaled slowly and felt Anna retreat from his mind all together. He opened his eyes. Anna knelt beside him, her face glowing. Angel was asleep on the bed, and if he closed his eyes, he could feel Anna’s influence over the sleeping vampire.
Anan stood, her right hand locked in Anna’s left hand, the other holding a third sister. Naan. Wesley sat up, instantly regretting it as it made his head swim. The dark haired sister didn’t move, in fact other than the hand Anan held, Naan seemed curled up in a tiny ball. “She won’t harm you now.” Anna said softly, though her eyes were slightly unfocused. “We’re working on her rage. She fought us at first, but is starting to respond.”
Wesley watched them for what seemed an eternity, the light ebbing and flowing around and through them as they silently fed peace and tranquility into their sister. Finally the light emanating from Anna and Anan faded to a soft glow, and Anna looked up. “She will be compliant as long as Anan is touching her.”
“We should move her out of this room. If Angel sees her-“
“Angel will sleep a while longer. I will stay with him until you and Anan can contain Naan in the other room.”
Wesley got to his feet, testing his weight against the floor as if he wasn’t sure his legs would hold him. He swallowed hard as he looked at Naan. She was so like her sisters, though somehow Anna’s features on Naan looked harsh and unforgiving. Scenes from the memories he shared with Angel flashed through his mind. “I know what you’re afraid of,” she had whispered it to him in the middle of the attack and it reverberated through his mind. He swayed a little on his feet, then felt Anna blanket him again. “He’s not ready,” he heard her say.
He shook his head. “No, I’m okay.” He willed his mind to order, pushing the memory aside and concentrating on the present moment. Slowly, Anna withdrew again. “I’m fine. Shall we?”
Anan held Naan by the hand and coaxed her to standing upright. Then they were moving out of the bedroom and into the living room. Anna closed the bedroom door behind them, and Wesley could feel her touch on Angel’s sleeping consciousness.
“We will need to contain her.” Anan said. “Both of us actually.”
“A magical barrier?” Wesley asked, already knowing the answer.
“I see Anna’s ahead of me, and already gave you the knowledge.”
Wesley smiled. “I-I would have to say yes. I’m going to call Cordelia, we’ll need some things.”
Anan settled Naan into a kitchen chair, then pulled another with her leg and sat beside her. Naan looked dazed, her eyes vacant. Wesley pulled out his cell phone and dialed Cordelia.
“What’s up Wes?”
“Are you still at the shop?”
“Just leaving. Did you need something else?”
“Yes, I’ll need three large crystals and three spheres of hematite. Tell the proprietor that they’re for me and he shouldn’t give you too hard a time.”
“Anything else?”
Wesley paused for a moment. “Could you track down Gunn, give him the supplies, and take Connor back to your place for the next few days? Things could get pretty tense around here.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“Cordelia. We have Naan.”
“Oh, right. My place it is. Dennis will love to see him.”
Wesley shook his head. “I’m sure Connor will love it too.” Connor seemed to love the ghost inhabiting Cordelia’s apartment, playing with him peacefully for hours whenever he was there. “I’ll call you when we know more.”
Wesley didn’t like having Naan in his apartment, not with Angel in the next room. He didn’t like that he didn’t have the means to fix this mess without resorting to threatening his father and the Watcher’s council…not to mention the waiting for the materials he needed to figure out how he’d caused the mess in the first place. He had a vague idea, but it had been so long since he’d done the research and crafted the spell, he couldn’t remember all of the details.
He knew that the three sisters had been bound together and bound into the talisman. He had since surmised that the ancient spell he had found in Baghdad had been the very same that had bound them together. He had used its format in reverse to create a spell that would unbind him from his father’s will, from the programming that had turned him into a cowering, impotent replication of his father, one that would never live up to the expectations of a parent who wanted only one thing, perfection.
Somehow, he had done more than use the format, but he wasn’t sure how. He imagined he might have included key phrases from the original, though that alone did not seem to be enough to have unbound the sisters from their spell.
There was a knock at the door, interrupting Wesley from his thoughts. He went to answer it, peering through the peep hole, then turning away in surprise. His father’s face was red with emotion, probably anger. He looked directly at the peep hole and raised his cane to knock again. Wesley took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping through it and closing it before his father could enter.
“You look ridiculous, boy.” Roger Wyndham-Pryce said, clearly startled by Wesley’s appearance and actions. His eyes swept over the jeans and t-shirt and the scruffy chin disapprovingly.
“Why are you here, Father?” Wesley stood between his father and the door. The last thing he needed was his father included in the mess he already had under his roof. He raised his eyes to meet his father’s and blanched white. In his mind he saw himself, a vampire, feeding from Roger’s throat, Angel drinking from his wrist. He could taste the blood. His heart was racing and his body filled with a sudden desire to cause bodily harm to the man in front of him.
“Dear God boy, are you all right?” The old man took a step closer and Wesley waved him away.
“It is not a good time. I thought my sending Charles to see you would make that perfectly clear.”
“That boy of yours is unschooled in manners and dresses like a hooligan,” his father blustered.
Wesley nodded. “Yes, and he’s killed more vampires and demons in his young life than many slayers do their whole careers. Why are you here?”
The older man’s eyes narrowed. Wesley wanted to pummel his face, strangle him. He swallowed and refocused. “Your demands are unacceptable.”
Wesley laughed. “You came to me, remember? You wanted our help…our help to deal with a problem that you created. You are the one who used that spell, released the big, bad nasty into the world all because of your greedy need to kill Angel without getting your hands dirty. You simply cannot stand the fact that someone who goes against your precious principles and rules might possibly redeem himself. And now, because of your actions someone I love has been emotionally and mentally shattered, and the nasty thing you came to get our help with will happen with nothing we can do to stop it if Angel actually does die. How is that for irony?”
Wesley had unconsciously taken several steps forward, and forced himself to stop, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. “Behind that door is the result of you using that spell, Father. Behind that door,” he pointed at the apartment door, “lies a vampire with a soul whose entire body has been marred and scarred with a spell that could destroy the world. It culminates around his heart. If he gets staked, it will trigger that spell, and he will disappear from all of time. He will never have existed. Even you can recognize what that could mean.”
Roger was a little paler, some of the red gone from his skin. His eyes were fixed on the door. “He’s in there? I should have known you couldn’t do the job-“
“Get the spell. Get it soon, or I will let the person who did this to Angel know who is responsible for her pain.” Wesley turned on his heel and reentered the apartment, slamming the door shut and collapsing onto the couch, almost in a single motion. He shook with the effort it had taken not to physically attack the man. His mind replayed the false memory, the feeling of his sharp teeth penetrating skin, the warmth of the blood as it flowed into him. Suddenly he was retching, his body convulsing as he leaned forward, unable to even attempt making it the bathroom. The world spun as he vomited and he tried to block the image, the emotion.
He felt her coming, the cool, soothing presence slipping up on him and wrapping him in peace. The image retreated, his stomach stilled. Wesley breathed slowly and sat back. Anna was beside him, her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Wesley. I didn’t realize how much she’d gotten inside you.”
Wesley rubbed the back of one hand over his mouth. “No, it’s all right Anna. I’m fine.”
She smiled at him. “I’ll clean this up. I think Angel would like to see you. He needs to feed.”
Wesley looked at her quizzically. “As long as you’re strong enough, that is, otherwise I’ll take him some blood from the refrigerator.”
“How did you-“
She smiled at him again, this time her expression like someone used to dealing with the exceptionally slow. “I’ve seen you…together.” Her hand moved from his shoulder to his hand. “I’m no judge, and he needs you, and as long as you’re capable and willing, it’s better for him than the pig’s blood, more potent, both nutritionally and emotionally.”
Wesley sighed, suddenly very tired himself. “I could use a bit of a nap.” He rose, stepping over the mess he’d made on the floor and heading into the bedroom. He pulled off his shirt, now smelling like vomit, and kicked his shoes off. He moved around to the side of the bed that was empty and slid into it. Angel moved almost as soon as he was settled, turning so that his body was touching Wesley’s, his head rolling onto Wesley’s near shoulder.
Wesley was aware that Angel was awake…or at least not deeply asleep. He could feel his warmth being drawn into the vampire’s skin, could sense what Angel’s body wanted. His own body echoed the desire. Wesley kissed the top of Angel’s head and closed his eyes, letting the fatigue wash over him, pull him into a state nearing sleep. He brought his right arm up to Angel’s mouth, letting it rest there for him.
So much had happened in the last twelve hours. He could feel the cool sheets against his skin, the weight of the blanket, the oddly room temperature touch of Angel’s cheek on his chest. The room smelled stale and vaguely of blood. The faint perfume of Anna and Anan hovered nearby. He could hear the light buzz of conversation, and was startled to realize it was downstairs.
He felt the prick of Angel’s teeth and the accompanying dance of swirling thoughts and emotions, and the immediate sense of arousal. He let his mind wander to the last time Angel had fed from him, nearly 12 hours before. The arousal had led to sex, despite Wesley’s best intentions. His mind erupted in images of that moment, and his body followed, his heart speeding up, his cock getting very hard and erect. He heard Angel’s needy “Want,” and wasn’t sure if it was memory or if Angel had spoken.
He could feel Angel’s hands on him, greedy, grasping. He could feel his cock moving inside of Angel. Yet, he hadn’t moved. Angel was still feeding at his wrist. Confused, Wesley opened his eyes. The room was spinning. He could swear he was looking through Angel’s eyes. “Wes.” Angel’s voice pulled him back inside himself, into the groping, their bodies moving against one another in desperate passion.
He was pinned beneath Angel, he hands held tightly in Angel’s powerful grip over his head. Angel’s powerful body was positioned between his legs, his cock thrusting in and out of him with a speed and strength that would tear a mortal to pieces. “Wesley.”
Angel’s voice ripped through him and Wesley arched his back, sinking teeth deep into Angel’s neck as he came violently. Angel roared and pushed all the harder, his teeth ripping into Wesley’s neck in response. Their bodies moved in unison, sharing the warm blood of a communal meal until Angel pulled free of Wesley, his back arching as he came inside of him, and collapsed.
Wesley opened his eyes breathlessly. He was still on his back on the bed, Angel in his arms stirring. The dampness on his stomach indicated that his body had felt the realness of the…dream? Memory?
“Wesley. I’m sorry.” Angel had tears in his eyes when Wesley looked at him. “I-“ He swallowed and shifted away from Wesley. “I know it isn’t real, but when I’m there, in the dreams it seems so real. What I did-“
Slowly it occurred to Wesley that this had been part of Angel’s false memory. It was just like when Anan had taken him into Angel’s mind, only he was himself, not Angel. He reached for Angel’s hand, but he pulled away.
Angel wouldn’t look at him. “I made you watch while I killed them, while I tortured them and killed them. I beat you, fed from you, raped you…until I broke you…then I turned you and started all over again.”
Tears streamed from Wesley’s face. Angel’s words brought a torrent of images in his head, images and emotion, pain, despair, hatred. His hands were shaking as he turned Angel’s face, cupping his cheek. Slowly Angel’s eyes rose to meet Wesley’s. “I know,” he said softly. “I know.” He kissed him gently, first on the lips, then kissing away the tears spilling from Angel’s eyes. “It isn’t real, Angel. No matter how real it feels.”
Wesley gathered Angel in his arms and held him and together they cried. Somehow Wesley had become entwined in Angel’s mind. He could feel Angel’s grief, the guilt. He wanted to wrap himself around him the way Anna had. He wanted to bring up other memories, images of better times, to remind Angel what was real.
Pictures of Cordelia and Angel and Wesley in that first year in LA came unbidden, and Wesley wasn’t sure whose memory they came from, Angel’s or Wesley’s. They had the desired calming affect though and they both settled back onto the pillows, still wrapped together. Wesley drifted off to sleep with thoughts of the first inklings of his lust for Angel fresh in his mind.
Chapter 10
“I know what you’re afraid of.”
It snaked through his dreams, drawing him away from the touch of Angel’s hand on his arm, from the pleasant nearness of the intimacy they had built between them in the last few hours. Wesley found himself cold and alone in the place where he had first encountered Naan.
“He knows what you’re afraid of.”
The voice slithered around his consciousness, always moving until he was spinning around trying to find its source. Wesley forced himself to stop, and closed his eyes. “Very good. I’m impressed.”
“I’m not.” Wesley replied. “I’m not so easily manipulated.”
The voice laughed. “Neither was he…not at first…but the right motivation….”
Wesley felt the hand swing in front of him, the edge of the knife catching on his cheek. The laughter surrounded him as his hand went to the cut and found it bleeding. “Stings, doesn’t it?”
“He will do it you know.” She said, close to him. “One day.”
Wesley fought opening his eyes. He knew he needed to extricate himself from the dream-state, find his way back to his body. “He will use your love for him against you…betray you…possess you…turn you…” The final words were whispered, but Wesley could feel them in the pit of his stomach. “Then you can fulfill your real destiny, to be your father’s ultimate failure.”
Wesley shoved the notion aside, tried to anyway. “I believe your sisters are looking for you,” he said, and he simply started walking away. She followed, as he knew she would. If this was the landscape of his subconscious he need only find the door back to conscious thought. As he thought that, the door appeared. He opened it and paused, looking back at Naan who he could finally see. “And, stay out of my head.”
Wesley woke with a gasp, and disentangled himself from the slowly waking body of Angel. Throwing on a robe, he opened the bedroom door. Anna was asleep on the couch. Anan and Naan were safe within their confinement in the kitchen. Anan looked up as he came in.
“Is everything all right?” she asked, sensing his discomfort.
“She was in my head.”
Anan nodded. “I’m getting tired. She is strong.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Anan sighed. “Finish this.”
It was Wesley’s turn to nod. “Gunn should be on his way here to keep an eye on things. I’m going to pay a call on my father. I don’t plan on leaving without what we need.”
“Wesley.” Angel stood between the bedroom door and Wesley, his eyes locked on Naan.
“Its okay Angel, she can’t hurt you.”
“She tried to hurt you.” Angel’s eyes flashed to him, then back to Naan. “I felt it.”
“I’m fine.”
Angel nodded absently. “Did you say you were going somewhere?”
“Yes, my father is in town and he has something we need to fix this.”
“I want to come with you.”
“Angel, I don’t think that’s a wise idea.” Wesley said as he started making coffee. “You aren’t strong enough-“
“I’m fine.” Angel said, a little more forcefully than Wesley expected. There eyes met and Wesley couldn’t say no.
“Fine. We best get cleaned up then.”
Wesley left the coffee to brew and herded Angel off to the bathroom to shower. He was less than certain that Angel should accompany him, but the determination in Angel’s eyes was a sign of significant progress and Wesley didn’t have the heart to deny him. Besides, he didn’t have to worry about leaving him alone with Naan in the apartment.
With that rationalization in mind, Wesley rummaged his closet for something for Angel to wear, settling on a dark shirt and pants that he was fairly certain had been Angel’s first, borrowed when some demon’s blood or something had ruined his own clothes.
The hung quite loose on Angel’s gaunt frame, a stark reminder of the ordeal the vampire had suffered. Wesley put the thought out of his mind and pulled on his own trousers, the dark blue ones he knew Angel liked on him, though how he knew that he wasn’t certain. He turned to find Angel smiling at him.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just admiring the view.”
“Angel, please.” He found it hard to think about putting clothes on with Angel looking at him that way.
“What?” He crossed the room, his stride stronger and more confident than Wesley had seen it since he’d found the strength to stand. “Am I not allowed to enjoy watching you put clothes on? Or is it that you’d rather be taking them off?” Angel’s arms slipped around his waist and pulled him close.
Wesley smiled, but pulled back. “Angel, we are getting ready to go visit my father.”
Angel wasn’t letting go as easily though, his head tilting as he kissed Wesley’s neck. Wesley felt his body stir, thoughts of a long, leisurely afternoon spent exploring each other’s bodies, limits…boundaries spurring him toward slowly sinking into the diversion. It was an effort, but Wesley pulled himself from the thought and out of Angel’s arms. Angel pouted and backed off to perch on the edge of the bed and watch Wesley finish getting dressed.
Wesley had a shirt in his hand, but so far hadn’t put it on, crossing over to where Angel sat, his free hand touching Angel’s face tenderly. “Its not that I don’t want to, “ he whispered, understanding now the intensity of the thought had been its shared nature. His lips brushed Angel’s pout. “I’d love nothing more. But-“
“Duty calls,” Angel finished for him, his voice a throaty whisper.
Wesley nodded, his blue eyes holding Angel’s and trying to express his love. “Yes, duty.” When Wesley was sure Angel understood, he stood back and pulled on the shirt before begin his search for a tie.
The last thing he needed when showing up at his father’s door unexpectedly with Angel at his side was to have the both of them smelling of sex. The visit was bound to be uncomfortable enough. Wesley pushed the thought away again, then finished with the tie and reached for the suit jacket.
When they emerged from the bedroom, Anna was awake and waiting for them with two steaming mugs, coffee for Wesley and blood for Angel. “Anan said you were going out.”
Wesley glanced at Anan, whose eyes were closed, then to Naan. He started when her eyes opened and looked into him. “I know what you’re afraid of.” He heard it in his head, but was mostly certain it was his own memory and not a renewed attack. Anna stepped between him and Naan and smiled.
“I’m going to take Anan’s place to give her some rest. Gunn called while you were in the shower. He should be here shortly.”
“Can you erect the barrier, or will you wait for me to return?”
Anna cocked her head as she thought about it. “Perhaps I will, if I am still strong enough when Anan has had her rest.”
Wesley nodded. Anna moved to Angel, drawing close to him and speaking to him so softly Wesley couldn’t hear her. He sipped at his coffee, then put it down in favor of the blanket they would use to safeguard Angel until they could get into the car. “That’s my good boy,” he heard Anna murmur and he looked up to see Anna taking Angel’s cup, now empty away from him. He smiled too, happy to see Angel drinking again. He shook out the blanket and offered it to Angel, then took up his car keys.
“We shant be long.” Wesley said as he moved to the door. “Call me if anything goes wrong.”
It was a bit tricky getting down the exposed staircase and across to the covered garage, but they managed without incident. Angel climbed into the back seat and covered himself before Wesley had even put on his seat belt.
The hotel wasn’t far, and the ride was silent, neither of them speaking, though Wesley could feel Angel. It was a nearness he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of. As they emerged from the car in the parking garage, Wesley steeled himself for what he knew would be an unpleasant encounter. Angel was a distraction, his own thoughts scattered and Wesley caught the passing thought that his presence wasn’t a good idea before they were gone, into the elevator and headed for the suite Gunn had already visited twice. Wesley knocked gently and waited.
After a long pause the door opened and a half familiar face appeared at the door. Wesley nodded politely enough, but his words belied the nicety of the gesture. “I’m here to see my father.” He didn’t give the servant a chance to close the door, pushing past him and entering the suite’s main room. “Tell him I’m here and I don’t intend to be patient.”
The man scurried away, which lightened Wesley’s irritation a bit. Angel stood beside him silently, his body rigid and tense. “You have a lot of nerve bringing him here.”
Wesley turned at the sound of the voice. His father had emerged from the bedroom, briefcase in hand. “Going somewhere, Father?”
“Back to England. The council was wrong to think you’d changed. They’re reconsidering their offer.”
“They can reconsider all they like Father. Do you have what I asked for?”
Roger Wyndham-Pryce looked like he had something particularly distasteful in his mouth. “Why should I give it to you?”
“Maybe because this time the screw-up is yours, not Wesley’s.” Angel said softly. He didn’t move, but Roger flinched at the sound of his voice.
Wesley put a hand on Angel’s arm to silence him. “I don’t have time to be nice and pleasant. We are talking about a danger here that you can’t possibly fathom. That spell did much more than release Angel of his inhibitions.”
“He seems to have recovered.” Roger set the briefcase down and sat in the nearby chair, adjusting his suit jacket. “This overly dramatic show is not impressive, Wesley.”
“Perhaps not. We are not leaving without what we came for none-the-less.” Wesley was careful to keep his distance, remembering the emotional flashback the last time he had been near his father. He sat on the opposite chair, unconsciously mimicking his father’s movements.
“Rather demanding for a man in your position.” The elder Wyndham-Pryce kept his voice civil, but his eyes shot daggers across the room.
“My position is none of your concern. Yours, however might be.” Wesley felt a faint flicker of fear from Angel and spared a glance his way. He seemed okay, but Wesley wanted to get him out of there as quickly as he could. “I wonder if your fellow council members know where you got that spell, or your ulterior motives for suggesting its use.”
He saw the sought for twitch in his father’s posture and knew that he had been right about Roger’s pride. He had pitched the idea to the council as his own, and not as something found left behind in the school things of his incompetent and disavowed son.
Roger stood and Wesley followed suit, swallowing a wave of panic he wasn’t sure wasn’t his own, until he looked at Angel. The vampire shook his head, his eyes looking for Wesley’s, searching for an anchor, something to hold him to the moment. “Wes.” It was a whispered half sound and it brought Wesley to Angel’s side in a single step.
Wesley could feel the terror bubbling, growing. He touched Angel’s hand, and was swallowed into it, thought blurring and whirring around them until he was once again in the image of he and Angel slowly drinking from the ever-protesting Roger. He pulled away from the physical pleasure that accompanied the thought, pulled his mind free. He thought he heard Anna saying “She broke free,” before he was able to turn away to face his father.
“Don’t come too close. I don’t know if I can keep us from hurting you.” Wesley said, his voice low and dangerous. “This thing you let loose has attached itself to us, influencing us.” He closed his eyes and fought the feelings, then changed his mind. He sank into them, feeling the strange strength of cold hatred fill him. “She knows what we’re afraid of, what makes us hurt. She uses that to move us, change us…” He opened his eyes, his mind latched on the vampire he became in Angel’s false memories and letting it color his face and voice.
“In the world she creates, Angelus turns me and together we feast on your blood before leaving you to die cold and alone.” Wesley took two controlled steps closer to his father. “She tells me it is my ultimate destiny…to become a monster, to finally lose the humanity I have held dearest to me despite your best attempts to beat it and train it out of me.”
Wesley could feel that cold rage, steely determination. He could almost taste the blood in his mouth. He had no idea what his father could see in his face, but he saw his eyes dart behind Wesley to Angel.
Wesley turned just in time to see the vampire sink to the floor, his hands over his ears as his body crumpled into itself. “Angel.” Wesley went to him, letting go of the emotion that had driven him, letting go of everything but his friend and lover. “Angel.”
But Angel had withdrawn into himself. He was rocking himself in a nearly fetal position on the floor. Wesley tried to reach him, but even his physical touch broke through. “Damn!”
“What is wrong with him?” Roger came closer and Wesley looked up at him.
“He’s protecting himself. I hope.” Wesley wasn’t sure. It was the first time since he’d followed Anan into Angel’s mind that he didn’t feel Angel accept as a tiny ball of presence. Wesley closed his eyes. He could feel that sickening twist in his stomach he had felt when Naan had first looked at him, the dizzying spin of reality that had accompanied her foray into his dreams. He circled the sphere of Angel’s mind, trying to comfort him and see what had happened at the same time.
Angel’s scream repulsed him even as he fell into the memory. Angel hung suspended, his arms stretched out from his body, his naked torso dripping blood. Beneath him Naan danced, her bloody blade in hand as she chanted and cut into Angel’s flesh. Blood stained her clothes and congealed in her hair. Angel screamed again, a sound that tore through Wesley’s confounded thoughts and brought him back to himself.
Naan could not see him this time and Wesley found himself holding Angel’s head, trying to break through. He could feel Angel’s blood on his hands, coating his face and he clung to the thought that he had to reach him. He spoke his name repeatedly, his hands touching Angel’s face.
“Wesley?” Angel’s eyes opened, and the images faded. Wesley was on his knees next to Angel and Angel was looking up at him.
For a long moment, Wesley wasn’t aware of the hand on his shoulder, not until Angel’s eyes darted up to where his father stood. Wesley looked up, stunned at the expression of horror on his father’s face. He looked back to Angel to ensure he was okay, then turned to his father. “Are you all right?”
He didn’t answer, but after a long moment blinked, shook his head and moved across the room to his briefcase. After only a slight hesitation, he opened it and removed a bundle that included a book, a scroll and a journal. He tossed it to Wesley.
“If you need any help-“
“I think I’ve had enough of your help. Thank you.” Wesley stood, and reached down to help Angel to his feet. “Go home.” He looked at his father again, noticing how old he suddenly seemed. He wondered how he had let this man make him believe for so long that he was worthless, how he had been afraid, how he had been desperate for his approval. “And, don’t come back. I don’t need you here.”
Wesley slipped an arm around Angel’s shoulders and turned his back on his father, clutching the precious package under his other arm. Wesley supported Angel back to the car and settled him into the back seat with his blanket. The sun would be setting shortly.
As he settled into the driver’s seat, Wesley exhaled slowly, trying to find his equilibrium. His head was still spinning, and he felt like his hands and face were still coated with blood. His hands shook as he opened his cell phone and dialed Gunn’s number.
It seemed at first the Gunn wasn’t going to answer, but just before it rolled over to voicemail, he heard Gunn’s voice. “No, that’s-what a minute. Hello?”
“What happened?” Wesley tried to keep his voice calm, but knew even Charles would hear the tremor.
“Not sure, I got here and things were crazy.”
“Is Naan contained now?”
“Sorta. Fred’s working on the magic thing, Anna and Anan are telling her what to do. They’re inside with Naan.”
Wesley exhaled slowly. “Does she need me?”
Gunn’s voice faded a little and Wesley imagined him looking over his shoulder. “Wes wants to know if you need him?”
He heard Fred laugh her nervous laugh. “I think I got this.”
“She’s good.”
Wesley was torn. He was certainly more experienced with magic working than Fred, but he needed someplace without the distractions currently resident in his apartment. “All right. I’m going to the office then. I have what I need, I just need some space to work..”
“What you want from us?” Gunn asked.
“Stay there, take care of the girls, and be careful.”
“Hey, Anna’s asking if you two are all right.”
Wesley sparred a glance in the back seat. Angel hadn’t said a word since they had left the hotel room. “We’re okay. Thank her for the warning.”
“Warning?”
“She’ll understand.”
“Right.”
“We’ll return as soon as I have something.”
Wesley sighed and tossed the phone aside. Images flashed through his mind, emotions flashed through his body. The feeling of power as his face changed into full vampire mode and his teeth sank into the flesh of his father’s neck…the arousal watching Angel feed from his wrist. He tried to shake it, but it felt so real. It was as real a memory as his first day of school, his first kiss, his first sexual encounter. It was easy to see why it had been so hard for Angel to distinguish what was real.
“Wesley?”
Wesley turned to see Angel looking at him over the blanket. “Yes, Angel?”
“Thank you.”
Wesley didn’t have to ask to know what he meant, he could feel it, the gratitude, the shared moment when his voice broke through the memory and gave Angel something to hold on to so that he could find his way back out. He smiled into the rear-view mirror and nodded. “I’m sorry, Angel. I am so sorry.” His hand caressed the scroll. “It all comes down to this.” He pulled the journal out and held it up. “In here I wrote the words that did this…all of this.”
“It isn’t your fault-“
Wesley shook his head. He knew the truth, and no words would change it. “No, its okay, Angel. I’m past looking for blame. I just want to set it right.”
He put the book down and started the engine. It was time to get to work.
Click here for chapters 11 & 12
Pairing: Angel/Wesley
Rating: NC-17
Setting: Part way through season 3, alternate universe type of thing (wherein I would take a different road than Joss...because last I checked, I wasn't Joss....)
Disclaimer: If wishes came true, Angel and Wesley would live in my closet, and I would play with them mightily...but alas...they do not
*cross posted to AO3*
Feedback: gladly accepted...
Summary: Wesley's journey into Angel's mind and the subsequent attack by Naan, leave Wesley connected emotionally to Angel, with access to all of the false memories Naan used to torment Angel...which only complicates the visit of his father and his ability to care for Angel....
Click here for chapters 1 & 2
Click here for chapters 3 & 4
Click here for chapters 5 & 6
Click here for chapters 7 & 8
Chapter 9
Wesley floated in a pool of serene blue light. Angel lay beside him, their bodies touching, connected. He knew if he moved Angel would as well. He felt safer and more comforted than he had since…well since he could remember.
He clung to the feeling, and was surprised to feel it clinging back. That was when he recognized Anna, the light surrounding him and buffering him from the world was Anna. As he acknowledged her she withdrew a little, and Wesley could feel his physical body again. He was on the floor, and he ached as if having just fought a battle. She pulled back a little more and he could move, slowly stretching muscles that stayed taut and tense. He wasn’t ready to try lifting his head. He aimed instead for trying to remember what had happened. He’d been inside Angel’s memory with Anan, and Naan had attacked them.
He remembered now. He could feel her hands on him. It seemed real, as if she had physically touched him. He exhaled slowly and felt Anna retreat from his mind all together. He opened his eyes. Anna knelt beside him, her face glowing. Angel was asleep on the bed, and if he closed his eyes, he could feel Anna’s influence over the sleeping vampire.
Anan stood, her right hand locked in Anna’s left hand, the other holding a third sister. Naan. Wesley sat up, instantly regretting it as it made his head swim. The dark haired sister didn’t move, in fact other than the hand Anan held, Naan seemed curled up in a tiny ball. “She won’t harm you now.” Anna said softly, though her eyes were slightly unfocused. “We’re working on her rage. She fought us at first, but is starting to respond.”
Wesley watched them for what seemed an eternity, the light ebbing and flowing around and through them as they silently fed peace and tranquility into their sister. Finally the light emanating from Anna and Anan faded to a soft glow, and Anna looked up. “She will be compliant as long as Anan is touching her.”
“We should move her out of this room. If Angel sees her-“
“Angel will sleep a while longer. I will stay with him until you and Anan can contain Naan in the other room.”
Wesley got to his feet, testing his weight against the floor as if he wasn’t sure his legs would hold him. He swallowed hard as he looked at Naan. She was so like her sisters, though somehow Anna’s features on Naan looked harsh and unforgiving. Scenes from the memories he shared with Angel flashed through his mind. “I know what you’re afraid of,” she had whispered it to him in the middle of the attack and it reverberated through his mind. He swayed a little on his feet, then felt Anna blanket him again. “He’s not ready,” he heard her say.
He shook his head. “No, I’m okay.” He willed his mind to order, pushing the memory aside and concentrating on the present moment. Slowly, Anna withdrew again. “I’m fine. Shall we?”
Anan held Naan by the hand and coaxed her to standing upright. Then they were moving out of the bedroom and into the living room. Anna closed the bedroom door behind them, and Wesley could feel her touch on Angel’s sleeping consciousness.
“We will need to contain her.” Anan said. “Both of us actually.”
“A magical barrier?” Wesley asked, already knowing the answer.
“I see Anna’s ahead of me, and already gave you the knowledge.”
Wesley smiled. “I-I would have to say yes. I’m going to call Cordelia, we’ll need some things.”
Anan settled Naan into a kitchen chair, then pulled another with her leg and sat beside her. Naan looked dazed, her eyes vacant. Wesley pulled out his cell phone and dialed Cordelia.
“What’s up Wes?”
“Are you still at the shop?”
“Just leaving. Did you need something else?”
“Yes, I’ll need three large crystals and three spheres of hematite. Tell the proprietor that they’re for me and he shouldn’t give you too hard a time.”
“Anything else?”
Wesley paused for a moment. “Could you track down Gunn, give him the supplies, and take Connor back to your place for the next few days? Things could get pretty tense around here.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“Cordelia. We have Naan.”
“Oh, right. My place it is. Dennis will love to see him.”
Wesley shook his head. “I’m sure Connor will love it too.” Connor seemed to love the ghost inhabiting Cordelia’s apartment, playing with him peacefully for hours whenever he was there. “I’ll call you when we know more.”
Wesley didn’t like having Naan in his apartment, not with Angel in the next room. He didn’t like that he didn’t have the means to fix this mess without resorting to threatening his father and the Watcher’s council…not to mention the waiting for the materials he needed to figure out how he’d caused the mess in the first place. He had a vague idea, but it had been so long since he’d done the research and crafted the spell, he couldn’t remember all of the details.
He knew that the three sisters had been bound together and bound into the talisman. He had since surmised that the ancient spell he had found in Baghdad had been the very same that had bound them together. He had used its format in reverse to create a spell that would unbind him from his father’s will, from the programming that had turned him into a cowering, impotent replication of his father, one that would never live up to the expectations of a parent who wanted only one thing, perfection.
Somehow, he had done more than use the format, but he wasn’t sure how. He imagined he might have included key phrases from the original, though that alone did not seem to be enough to have unbound the sisters from their spell.
There was a knock at the door, interrupting Wesley from his thoughts. He went to answer it, peering through the peep hole, then turning away in surprise. His father’s face was red with emotion, probably anger. He looked directly at the peep hole and raised his cane to knock again. Wesley took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping through it and closing it before his father could enter.
“You look ridiculous, boy.” Roger Wyndham-Pryce said, clearly startled by Wesley’s appearance and actions. His eyes swept over the jeans and t-shirt and the scruffy chin disapprovingly.
“Why are you here, Father?” Wesley stood between his father and the door. The last thing he needed was his father included in the mess he already had under his roof. He raised his eyes to meet his father’s and blanched white. In his mind he saw himself, a vampire, feeding from Roger’s throat, Angel drinking from his wrist. He could taste the blood. His heart was racing and his body filled with a sudden desire to cause bodily harm to the man in front of him.
“Dear God boy, are you all right?” The old man took a step closer and Wesley waved him away.
“It is not a good time. I thought my sending Charles to see you would make that perfectly clear.”
“That boy of yours is unschooled in manners and dresses like a hooligan,” his father blustered.
Wesley nodded. “Yes, and he’s killed more vampires and demons in his young life than many slayers do their whole careers. Why are you here?”
The older man’s eyes narrowed. Wesley wanted to pummel his face, strangle him. He swallowed and refocused. “Your demands are unacceptable.”
Wesley laughed. “You came to me, remember? You wanted our help…our help to deal with a problem that you created. You are the one who used that spell, released the big, bad nasty into the world all because of your greedy need to kill Angel without getting your hands dirty. You simply cannot stand the fact that someone who goes against your precious principles and rules might possibly redeem himself. And now, because of your actions someone I love has been emotionally and mentally shattered, and the nasty thing you came to get our help with will happen with nothing we can do to stop it if Angel actually does die. How is that for irony?”
Wesley had unconsciously taken several steps forward, and forced himself to stop, his fists clenching and unclenching at his side. “Behind that door is the result of you using that spell, Father. Behind that door,” he pointed at the apartment door, “lies a vampire with a soul whose entire body has been marred and scarred with a spell that could destroy the world. It culminates around his heart. If he gets staked, it will trigger that spell, and he will disappear from all of time. He will never have existed. Even you can recognize what that could mean.”
Roger was a little paler, some of the red gone from his skin. His eyes were fixed on the door. “He’s in there? I should have known you couldn’t do the job-“
“Get the spell. Get it soon, or I will let the person who did this to Angel know who is responsible for her pain.” Wesley turned on his heel and reentered the apartment, slamming the door shut and collapsing onto the couch, almost in a single motion. He shook with the effort it had taken not to physically attack the man. His mind replayed the false memory, the feeling of his sharp teeth penetrating skin, the warmth of the blood as it flowed into him. Suddenly he was retching, his body convulsing as he leaned forward, unable to even attempt making it the bathroom. The world spun as he vomited and he tried to block the image, the emotion.
He felt her coming, the cool, soothing presence slipping up on him and wrapping him in peace. The image retreated, his stomach stilled. Wesley breathed slowly and sat back. Anna was beside him, her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Wesley. I didn’t realize how much she’d gotten inside you.”
Wesley rubbed the back of one hand over his mouth. “No, it’s all right Anna. I’m fine.”
She smiled at him. “I’ll clean this up. I think Angel would like to see you. He needs to feed.”
Wesley looked at her quizzically. “As long as you’re strong enough, that is, otherwise I’ll take him some blood from the refrigerator.”
“How did you-“
She smiled at him again, this time her expression like someone used to dealing with the exceptionally slow. “I’ve seen you…together.” Her hand moved from his shoulder to his hand. “I’m no judge, and he needs you, and as long as you’re capable and willing, it’s better for him than the pig’s blood, more potent, both nutritionally and emotionally.”
Wesley sighed, suddenly very tired himself. “I could use a bit of a nap.” He rose, stepping over the mess he’d made on the floor and heading into the bedroom. He pulled off his shirt, now smelling like vomit, and kicked his shoes off. He moved around to the side of the bed that was empty and slid into it. Angel moved almost as soon as he was settled, turning so that his body was touching Wesley’s, his head rolling onto Wesley’s near shoulder.
Wesley was aware that Angel was awake…or at least not deeply asleep. He could feel his warmth being drawn into the vampire’s skin, could sense what Angel’s body wanted. His own body echoed the desire. Wesley kissed the top of Angel’s head and closed his eyes, letting the fatigue wash over him, pull him into a state nearing sleep. He brought his right arm up to Angel’s mouth, letting it rest there for him.
So much had happened in the last twelve hours. He could feel the cool sheets against his skin, the weight of the blanket, the oddly room temperature touch of Angel’s cheek on his chest. The room smelled stale and vaguely of blood. The faint perfume of Anna and Anan hovered nearby. He could hear the light buzz of conversation, and was startled to realize it was downstairs.
He felt the prick of Angel’s teeth and the accompanying dance of swirling thoughts and emotions, and the immediate sense of arousal. He let his mind wander to the last time Angel had fed from him, nearly 12 hours before. The arousal had led to sex, despite Wesley’s best intentions. His mind erupted in images of that moment, and his body followed, his heart speeding up, his cock getting very hard and erect. He heard Angel’s needy “Want,” and wasn’t sure if it was memory or if Angel had spoken.
He could feel Angel’s hands on him, greedy, grasping. He could feel his cock moving inside of Angel. Yet, he hadn’t moved. Angel was still feeding at his wrist. Confused, Wesley opened his eyes. The room was spinning. He could swear he was looking through Angel’s eyes. “Wes.” Angel’s voice pulled him back inside himself, into the groping, their bodies moving against one another in desperate passion.
He was pinned beneath Angel, he hands held tightly in Angel’s powerful grip over his head. Angel’s powerful body was positioned between his legs, his cock thrusting in and out of him with a speed and strength that would tear a mortal to pieces. “Wesley.”
Angel’s voice ripped through him and Wesley arched his back, sinking teeth deep into Angel’s neck as he came violently. Angel roared and pushed all the harder, his teeth ripping into Wesley’s neck in response. Their bodies moved in unison, sharing the warm blood of a communal meal until Angel pulled free of Wesley, his back arching as he came inside of him, and collapsed.
Wesley opened his eyes breathlessly. He was still on his back on the bed, Angel in his arms stirring. The dampness on his stomach indicated that his body had felt the realness of the…dream? Memory?
“Wesley. I’m sorry.” Angel had tears in his eyes when Wesley looked at him. “I-“ He swallowed and shifted away from Wesley. “I know it isn’t real, but when I’m there, in the dreams it seems so real. What I did-“
Slowly it occurred to Wesley that this had been part of Angel’s false memory. It was just like when Anan had taken him into Angel’s mind, only he was himself, not Angel. He reached for Angel’s hand, but he pulled away.
Angel wouldn’t look at him. “I made you watch while I killed them, while I tortured them and killed them. I beat you, fed from you, raped you…until I broke you…then I turned you and started all over again.”
Tears streamed from Wesley’s face. Angel’s words brought a torrent of images in his head, images and emotion, pain, despair, hatred. His hands were shaking as he turned Angel’s face, cupping his cheek. Slowly Angel’s eyes rose to meet Wesley’s. “I know,” he said softly. “I know.” He kissed him gently, first on the lips, then kissing away the tears spilling from Angel’s eyes. “It isn’t real, Angel. No matter how real it feels.”
Wesley gathered Angel in his arms and held him and together they cried. Somehow Wesley had become entwined in Angel’s mind. He could feel Angel’s grief, the guilt. He wanted to wrap himself around him the way Anna had. He wanted to bring up other memories, images of better times, to remind Angel what was real.
Pictures of Cordelia and Angel and Wesley in that first year in LA came unbidden, and Wesley wasn’t sure whose memory they came from, Angel’s or Wesley’s. They had the desired calming affect though and they both settled back onto the pillows, still wrapped together. Wesley drifted off to sleep with thoughts of the first inklings of his lust for Angel fresh in his mind.
Chapter 10
“I know what you’re afraid of.”
It snaked through his dreams, drawing him away from the touch of Angel’s hand on his arm, from the pleasant nearness of the intimacy they had built between them in the last few hours. Wesley found himself cold and alone in the place where he had first encountered Naan.
“He knows what you’re afraid of.”
The voice slithered around his consciousness, always moving until he was spinning around trying to find its source. Wesley forced himself to stop, and closed his eyes. “Very good. I’m impressed.”
“I’m not.” Wesley replied. “I’m not so easily manipulated.”
The voice laughed. “Neither was he…not at first…but the right motivation….”
Wesley felt the hand swing in front of him, the edge of the knife catching on his cheek. The laughter surrounded him as his hand went to the cut and found it bleeding. “Stings, doesn’t it?”
“He will do it you know.” She said, close to him. “One day.”
Wesley fought opening his eyes. He knew he needed to extricate himself from the dream-state, find his way back to his body. “He will use your love for him against you…betray you…possess you…turn you…” The final words were whispered, but Wesley could feel them in the pit of his stomach. “Then you can fulfill your real destiny, to be your father’s ultimate failure.”
Wesley shoved the notion aside, tried to anyway. “I believe your sisters are looking for you,” he said, and he simply started walking away. She followed, as he knew she would. If this was the landscape of his subconscious he need only find the door back to conscious thought. As he thought that, the door appeared. He opened it and paused, looking back at Naan who he could finally see. “And, stay out of my head.”
Wesley woke with a gasp, and disentangled himself from the slowly waking body of Angel. Throwing on a robe, he opened the bedroom door. Anna was asleep on the couch. Anan and Naan were safe within their confinement in the kitchen. Anan looked up as he came in.
“Is everything all right?” she asked, sensing his discomfort.
“She was in my head.”
Anan nodded. “I’m getting tired. She is strong.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Anan sighed. “Finish this.”
It was Wesley’s turn to nod. “Gunn should be on his way here to keep an eye on things. I’m going to pay a call on my father. I don’t plan on leaving without what we need.”
“Wesley.” Angel stood between the bedroom door and Wesley, his eyes locked on Naan.
“Its okay Angel, she can’t hurt you.”
“She tried to hurt you.” Angel’s eyes flashed to him, then back to Naan. “I felt it.”
“I’m fine.”
Angel nodded absently. “Did you say you were going somewhere?”
“Yes, my father is in town and he has something we need to fix this.”
“I want to come with you.”
“Angel, I don’t think that’s a wise idea.” Wesley said as he started making coffee. “You aren’t strong enough-“
“I’m fine.” Angel said, a little more forcefully than Wesley expected. There eyes met and Wesley couldn’t say no.
“Fine. We best get cleaned up then.”
Wesley left the coffee to brew and herded Angel off to the bathroom to shower. He was less than certain that Angel should accompany him, but the determination in Angel’s eyes was a sign of significant progress and Wesley didn’t have the heart to deny him. Besides, he didn’t have to worry about leaving him alone with Naan in the apartment.
With that rationalization in mind, Wesley rummaged his closet for something for Angel to wear, settling on a dark shirt and pants that he was fairly certain had been Angel’s first, borrowed when some demon’s blood or something had ruined his own clothes.
The hung quite loose on Angel’s gaunt frame, a stark reminder of the ordeal the vampire had suffered. Wesley put the thought out of his mind and pulled on his own trousers, the dark blue ones he knew Angel liked on him, though how he knew that he wasn’t certain. He turned to find Angel smiling at him.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just admiring the view.”
“Angel, please.” He found it hard to think about putting clothes on with Angel looking at him that way.
“What?” He crossed the room, his stride stronger and more confident than Wesley had seen it since he’d found the strength to stand. “Am I not allowed to enjoy watching you put clothes on? Or is it that you’d rather be taking them off?” Angel’s arms slipped around his waist and pulled him close.
Wesley smiled, but pulled back. “Angel, we are getting ready to go visit my father.”
Angel wasn’t letting go as easily though, his head tilting as he kissed Wesley’s neck. Wesley felt his body stir, thoughts of a long, leisurely afternoon spent exploring each other’s bodies, limits…boundaries spurring him toward slowly sinking into the diversion. It was an effort, but Wesley pulled himself from the thought and out of Angel’s arms. Angel pouted and backed off to perch on the edge of the bed and watch Wesley finish getting dressed.
Wesley had a shirt in his hand, but so far hadn’t put it on, crossing over to where Angel sat, his free hand touching Angel’s face tenderly. “Its not that I don’t want to, “ he whispered, understanding now the intensity of the thought had been its shared nature. His lips brushed Angel’s pout. “I’d love nothing more. But-“
“Duty calls,” Angel finished for him, his voice a throaty whisper.
Wesley nodded, his blue eyes holding Angel’s and trying to express his love. “Yes, duty.” When Wesley was sure Angel understood, he stood back and pulled on the shirt before begin his search for a tie.
The last thing he needed when showing up at his father’s door unexpectedly with Angel at his side was to have the both of them smelling of sex. The visit was bound to be uncomfortable enough. Wesley pushed the thought away again, then finished with the tie and reached for the suit jacket.
When they emerged from the bedroom, Anna was awake and waiting for them with two steaming mugs, coffee for Wesley and blood for Angel. “Anan said you were going out.”
Wesley glanced at Anan, whose eyes were closed, then to Naan. He started when her eyes opened and looked into him. “I know what you’re afraid of.” He heard it in his head, but was mostly certain it was his own memory and not a renewed attack. Anna stepped between him and Naan and smiled.
“I’m going to take Anan’s place to give her some rest. Gunn called while you were in the shower. He should be here shortly.”
“Can you erect the barrier, or will you wait for me to return?”
Anna cocked her head as she thought about it. “Perhaps I will, if I am still strong enough when Anan has had her rest.”
Wesley nodded. Anna moved to Angel, drawing close to him and speaking to him so softly Wesley couldn’t hear her. He sipped at his coffee, then put it down in favor of the blanket they would use to safeguard Angel until they could get into the car. “That’s my good boy,” he heard Anna murmur and he looked up to see Anna taking Angel’s cup, now empty away from him. He smiled too, happy to see Angel drinking again. He shook out the blanket and offered it to Angel, then took up his car keys.
“We shant be long.” Wesley said as he moved to the door. “Call me if anything goes wrong.”
It was a bit tricky getting down the exposed staircase and across to the covered garage, but they managed without incident. Angel climbed into the back seat and covered himself before Wesley had even put on his seat belt.
The hotel wasn’t far, and the ride was silent, neither of them speaking, though Wesley could feel Angel. It was a nearness he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of. As they emerged from the car in the parking garage, Wesley steeled himself for what he knew would be an unpleasant encounter. Angel was a distraction, his own thoughts scattered and Wesley caught the passing thought that his presence wasn’t a good idea before they were gone, into the elevator and headed for the suite Gunn had already visited twice. Wesley knocked gently and waited.
After a long pause the door opened and a half familiar face appeared at the door. Wesley nodded politely enough, but his words belied the nicety of the gesture. “I’m here to see my father.” He didn’t give the servant a chance to close the door, pushing past him and entering the suite’s main room. “Tell him I’m here and I don’t intend to be patient.”
The man scurried away, which lightened Wesley’s irritation a bit. Angel stood beside him silently, his body rigid and tense. “You have a lot of nerve bringing him here.”
Wesley turned at the sound of the voice. His father had emerged from the bedroom, briefcase in hand. “Going somewhere, Father?”
“Back to England. The council was wrong to think you’d changed. They’re reconsidering their offer.”
“They can reconsider all they like Father. Do you have what I asked for?”
Roger Wyndham-Pryce looked like he had something particularly distasteful in his mouth. “Why should I give it to you?”
“Maybe because this time the screw-up is yours, not Wesley’s.” Angel said softly. He didn’t move, but Roger flinched at the sound of his voice.
Wesley put a hand on Angel’s arm to silence him. “I don’t have time to be nice and pleasant. We are talking about a danger here that you can’t possibly fathom. That spell did much more than release Angel of his inhibitions.”
“He seems to have recovered.” Roger set the briefcase down and sat in the nearby chair, adjusting his suit jacket. “This overly dramatic show is not impressive, Wesley.”
“Perhaps not. We are not leaving without what we came for none-the-less.” Wesley was careful to keep his distance, remembering the emotional flashback the last time he had been near his father. He sat on the opposite chair, unconsciously mimicking his father’s movements.
“Rather demanding for a man in your position.” The elder Wyndham-Pryce kept his voice civil, but his eyes shot daggers across the room.
“My position is none of your concern. Yours, however might be.” Wesley felt a faint flicker of fear from Angel and spared a glance his way. He seemed okay, but Wesley wanted to get him out of there as quickly as he could. “I wonder if your fellow council members know where you got that spell, or your ulterior motives for suggesting its use.”
He saw the sought for twitch in his father’s posture and knew that he had been right about Roger’s pride. He had pitched the idea to the council as his own, and not as something found left behind in the school things of his incompetent and disavowed son.
Roger stood and Wesley followed suit, swallowing a wave of panic he wasn’t sure wasn’t his own, until he looked at Angel. The vampire shook his head, his eyes looking for Wesley’s, searching for an anchor, something to hold him to the moment. “Wes.” It was a whispered half sound and it brought Wesley to Angel’s side in a single step.
Wesley could feel the terror bubbling, growing. He touched Angel’s hand, and was swallowed into it, thought blurring and whirring around them until he was once again in the image of he and Angel slowly drinking from the ever-protesting Roger. He pulled away from the physical pleasure that accompanied the thought, pulled his mind free. He thought he heard Anna saying “She broke free,” before he was able to turn away to face his father.
“Don’t come too close. I don’t know if I can keep us from hurting you.” Wesley said, his voice low and dangerous. “This thing you let loose has attached itself to us, influencing us.” He closed his eyes and fought the feelings, then changed his mind. He sank into them, feeling the strange strength of cold hatred fill him. “She knows what we’re afraid of, what makes us hurt. She uses that to move us, change us…” He opened his eyes, his mind latched on the vampire he became in Angel’s false memories and letting it color his face and voice.
“In the world she creates, Angelus turns me and together we feast on your blood before leaving you to die cold and alone.” Wesley took two controlled steps closer to his father. “She tells me it is my ultimate destiny…to become a monster, to finally lose the humanity I have held dearest to me despite your best attempts to beat it and train it out of me.”
Wesley could feel that cold rage, steely determination. He could almost taste the blood in his mouth. He had no idea what his father could see in his face, but he saw his eyes dart behind Wesley to Angel.
Wesley turned just in time to see the vampire sink to the floor, his hands over his ears as his body crumpled into itself. “Angel.” Wesley went to him, letting go of the emotion that had driven him, letting go of everything but his friend and lover. “Angel.”
But Angel had withdrawn into himself. He was rocking himself in a nearly fetal position on the floor. Wesley tried to reach him, but even his physical touch broke through. “Damn!”
“What is wrong with him?” Roger came closer and Wesley looked up at him.
“He’s protecting himself. I hope.” Wesley wasn’t sure. It was the first time since he’d followed Anan into Angel’s mind that he didn’t feel Angel accept as a tiny ball of presence. Wesley closed his eyes. He could feel that sickening twist in his stomach he had felt when Naan had first looked at him, the dizzying spin of reality that had accompanied her foray into his dreams. He circled the sphere of Angel’s mind, trying to comfort him and see what had happened at the same time.
Angel’s scream repulsed him even as he fell into the memory. Angel hung suspended, his arms stretched out from his body, his naked torso dripping blood. Beneath him Naan danced, her bloody blade in hand as she chanted and cut into Angel’s flesh. Blood stained her clothes and congealed in her hair. Angel screamed again, a sound that tore through Wesley’s confounded thoughts and brought him back to himself.
Naan could not see him this time and Wesley found himself holding Angel’s head, trying to break through. He could feel Angel’s blood on his hands, coating his face and he clung to the thought that he had to reach him. He spoke his name repeatedly, his hands touching Angel’s face.
“Wesley?” Angel’s eyes opened, and the images faded. Wesley was on his knees next to Angel and Angel was looking up at him.
For a long moment, Wesley wasn’t aware of the hand on his shoulder, not until Angel’s eyes darted up to where his father stood. Wesley looked up, stunned at the expression of horror on his father’s face. He looked back to Angel to ensure he was okay, then turned to his father. “Are you all right?”
He didn’t answer, but after a long moment blinked, shook his head and moved across the room to his briefcase. After only a slight hesitation, he opened it and removed a bundle that included a book, a scroll and a journal. He tossed it to Wesley.
“If you need any help-“
“I think I’ve had enough of your help. Thank you.” Wesley stood, and reached down to help Angel to his feet. “Go home.” He looked at his father again, noticing how old he suddenly seemed. He wondered how he had let this man make him believe for so long that he was worthless, how he had been afraid, how he had been desperate for his approval. “And, don’t come back. I don’t need you here.”
Wesley slipped an arm around Angel’s shoulders and turned his back on his father, clutching the precious package under his other arm. Wesley supported Angel back to the car and settled him into the back seat with his blanket. The sun would be setting shortly.
As he settled into the driver’s seat, Wesley exhaled slowly, trying to find his equilibrium. His head was still spinning, and he felt like his hands and face were still coated with blood. His hands shook as he opened his cell phone and dialed Gunn’s number.
It seemed at first the Gunn wasn’t going to answer, but just before it rolled over to voicemail, he heard Gunn’s voice. “No, that’s-what a minute. Hello?”
“What happened?” Wesley tried to keep his voice calm, but knew even Charles would hear the tremor.
“Not sure, I got here and things were crazy.”
“Is Naan contained now?”
“Sorta. Fred’s working on the magic thing, Anna and Anan are telling her what to do. They’re inside with Naan.”
Wesley exhaled slowly. “Does she need me?”
Gunn’s voice faded a little and Wesley imagined him looking over his shoulder. “Wes wants to know if you need him?”
He heard Fred laugh her nervous laugh. “I think I got this.”
“She’s good.”
Wesley was torn. He was certainly more experienced with magic working than Fred, but he needed someplace without the distractions currently resident in his apartment. “All right. I’m going to the office then. I have what I need, I just need some space to work..”
“What you want from us?” Gunn asked.
“Stay there, take care of the girls, and be careful.”
“Hey, Anna’s asking if you two are all right.”
Wesley sparred a glance in the back seat. Angel hadn’t said a word since they had left the hotel room. “We’re okay. Thank her for the warning.”
“Warning?”
“She’ll understand.”
“Right.”
“We’ll return as soon as I have something.”
Wesley sighed and tossed the phone aside. Images flashed through his mind, emotions flashed through his body. The feeling of power as his face changed into full vampire mode and his teeth sank into the flesh of his father’s neck…the arousal watching Angel feed from his wrist. He tried to shake it, but it felt so real. It was as real a memory as his first day of school, his first kiss, his first sexual encounter. It was easy to see why it had been so hard for Angel to distinguish what was real.
“Wesley?”
Wesley turned to see Angel looking at him over the blanket. “Yes, Angel?”
“Thank you.”
Wesley didn’t have to ask to know what he meant, he could feel it, the gratitude, the shared moment when his voice broke through the memory and gave Angel something to hold on to so that he could find his way back out. He smiled into the rear-view mirror and nodded. “I’m sorry, Angel. I am so sorry.” His hand caressed the scroll. “It all comes down to this.” He pulled the journal out and held it up. “In here I wrote the words that did this…all of this.”
“It isn’t your fault-“
Wesley shook his head. He knew the truth, and no words would change it. “No, its okay, Angel. I’m past looking for blame. I just want to set it right.”
He put the book down and started the engine. It was time to get to work.
Click here for chapters 11 & 12