What Have I Done, Buffy Ficlet
Written for btvsats_love's prompt this week, which is "Despair"
Fandom: Buffy
Character: Buffy
Summary: Internal dialogue as Buffy flees Sunnydale at the end of Season 2
What have I done?
What have I done?
She stumbled backwards, her eyes caught on his face. He was confused, afraid, alone…His eyes dropped to the sword in his gut…the sword she had shoved through him and into the statue behind him.
Her tears burned tracks into her face. Her hands shook.
“Buffy?” His final words as the portal sucked him in a question, an accusation.
Trembling, one hand reached out for him, too little, too late. Gone. He was gone.
What have I done?
What have I done?
She ran, out of the building, away from the pain. There was no where to go though, and the pain followed her, tackled her, lodged inside her heart. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think.
What have I done?
What have I done?
Her mother’s face as they’d fought and she’d fled. Giles face all battered and broken. Angel’s face as his soul was restored when it was too late to help them. They all crowded around her and she collapsed beneath the weight of it all, curling up into a ball in the grass.
What have I done?
What have I done?
Sobs wracked her as her eyes watered the grass, until her body ached in a way that slaying had never caused. She had consigned him to hell. When it had been Angelus it had seemed an easy thing, the right thing…then his face softened, his eyes, confused, disoriented as he spoke her name…and the touch, the kiss.
“Close your eyes.”
What have I done?
What have I done?
She got to her feet, still shaky, still lost in the pain. Her footsteps carried her and she followed them, with little heed to the world around her. She took a seat on the bus without really thinking past the look on his face when her sword bit into him. Anywhere but here, anywhere but where they had, for a brief time, had a love unlike anything she would ever find again. Anywhere but where she had killed him.
The bus pulled out and she rested her head on the glass. As they passed the place where it happened, she closed her eyes, and she didn’t open them again until they’d passed the sign that read “Now Leaving Sunnydale”.
What have I done? she asked her reflection in the window…there was no answer, only the tear stained face of a girl far too young.
What have I done?
Fandom: Buffy
Character: Buffy
Summary: Internal dialogue as Buffy flees Sunnydale at the end of Season 2
What have I done?
What have I done?
She stumbled backwards, her eyes caught on his face. He was confused, afraid, alone…His eyes dropped to the sword in his gut…the sword she had shoved through him and into the statue behind him.
Her tears burned tracks into her face. Her hands shook.
“Buffy?” His final words as the portal sucked him in a question, an accusation.
Trembling, one hand reached out for him, too little, too late. Gone. He was gone.
What have I done?
What have I done?
She ran, out of the building, away from the pain. There was no where to go though, and the pain followed her, tackled her, lodged inside her heart. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think.
What have I done?
What have I done?
Her mother’s face as they’d fought and she’d fled. Giles face all battered and broken. Angel’s face as his soul was restored when it was too late to help them. They all crowded around her and she collapsed beneath the weight of it all, curling up into a ball in the grass.
What have I done?
What have I done?
Sobs wracked her as her eyes watered the grass, until her body ached in a way that slaying had never caused. She had consigned him to hell. When it had been Angelus it had seemed an easy thing, the right thing…then his face softened, his eyes, confused, disoriented as he spoke her name…and the touch, the kiss.
“Close your eyes.”
What have I done?
What have I done?
She got to her feet, still shaky, still lost in the pain. Her footsteps carried her and she followed them, with little heed to the world around her. She took a seat on the bus without really thinking past the look on his face when her sword bit into him. Anywhere but here, anywhere but where they had, for a brief time, had a love unlike anything she would ever find again. Anywhere but where she had killed him.
The bus pulled out and she rested her head on the glass. As they passed the place where it happened, she closed her eyes, and she didn’t open them again until they’d passed the sign that read “Now Leaving Sunnydale”.
What have I done? she asked her reflection in the window…there was no answer, only the tear stained face of a girl far too young.
What have I done?