Fic: Ready to Wear | Mannequin AU | popslash, cw rps

[phaballa]

Ready to Wear
Part 3: The Dickless Wonder

Fandoms: popslash, cwrps
Rating: Adult themes
Comments: For those of you who are late to the game, this is part of the mannequin AU. Jared and JC and Justin and... probably some others eventually, are mannequins in a shopping mall.

Last week, ladyvyola wrote this amazing poem that we will pretend Jared wrote. It

Comments

[glendaglamazon]

LOL, your timing is impeccable, and your crack is still the good shit. Thank you and bless all their little plastic hearts for making me smile when I was sinking deeply into moroseville.

[phaballa]

No moroseville! There are mannequins! Bitchy ones! :)

[hegemony]

These mannequins might just be more bitchy than real people, I hope you realize. It's perhaps the most hilarious thing ever, other than Jared's lack of Dick. Because if there's one genuine knee slapper, that's it, yo.

[phaballa]

I'm in a very bitchy mood today, and I think I had a bit of transference going on. Plus, I'm reading JC's Diary. Again :P

[madame_d]

Plus, I'm reading JC's Diary.

*dies laughing* Now that was perfection and pure genius. Heee!

Also, I kind of love Stonyfield Farm's yogurt smoothies. Even though I make my own. And my local supermarket doesn't carry SFF frozen yogurt or ice cream. WTF???

[phaballa]

My local grocery doesn't either, I have to go to Whole Foods if I want it. Which I always do now, thanks to SOMEONE. Ahem.

[akemi42]

I saw a boy band porn video at a sex shop in Amsterdam yesterday and instantly thought of you. :)

[phaballa]

OMG. Was it called "Banned Boys"??

[madame_d]

*cries with laughter*

*cries for dickless!Jared*

*giggles self off a chair*

Okay, so the poem? Is the best.thing.ever. Bar NONE. *draws hearts forever* It's the work of ULTIMATE genius.

Lance says it gives JC character. JC would rather be pretty, thanks.

*pets JC and croons soothingly*

because then the half-naked salesmen come to the front of the store to greet the aforementioned screechers, and JC can ogle them for himself.

See, JC? Life ain't half bad. At least there are thoughts of ogling. :)

and this is Justin's punishment for trying to sneak into the GAP

*laughs and laughs and laughs* So.infinitely.mockable!

JC wonders how that's different than everyday for Jared, when JC stares at his mostly-naked body from across the corridor, but it's been a long day.

Um. JC's gaze is like a caress. Also, doesn't count because he's also a mannequin. It's one of those brothers-in-arms things. Yes.

JC strangely finds that it's always incredibly easy to mock Justin. He's just so… mockable. Plus, he works at Hot Topic, which

[phaballa]

Isn't that poem fabulous???!! I laughed myself silly when she commented with it. Oh man. SO PERFECT.

Don't worry, Jared's not REALLY dickless. Only when he's in the window. Um. Maybe. I think? It just makes JC better to go on believing that Jared is always dickless, because Lance doesn't notice JC enough. Or something!

[madame_d]

Jared's not REALLY dickless. Only when he's in the window.

But that means Jensen can't grope him! *wails*

because Lance doesn't notice JC enough. Or something!

Hmmm, yeah, speaking of that... I think our lovely model boys need some action. Or, *I* need them to get some action. ;)

[wrenlet]

There were HEADLESS CHILD MANNEQUINS at Tommy Hilfiger Kids last week and I thought of your AU.

Oh, Jared. *pets him*

[phaballa]

Isn't it horrible? The headless mannequins freak me out. Maybe even more than the faceless ones.