Comments | pew_pew_pew: Fic: Child (original)

pew_pew_pew

Fic: Child (original)

Apr 17, 2011 00:02

Title: Child
Rating: G
Fandom: original
Pairing: none
Spoilers: none
Summary: Not a story. Just a thought.
Disclaimer: Mine, all mine!

Hello.

I hope to be a child again. This is what I thought today, when I walked to the sun with my friend and my bag by my side.

I want to be a new thing.

I want to know very little, no, not stupid, just curious.

All that ( Read more... )

musings, original fic, ramble

Comments 23

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pew_pew_pew April 18 2011, 17:44:29 UTC

:)Thank youu.

teacup_werewolf April 16 2011, 23:15:47 UTC

Well...it's nice. I would probably like more to it, more form. It feels very unfinished.

pew_pew_pew April 18 2011, 17:49:09 UTC

Thanks! :)
Kinda wanted it to feel unfinished, partly because kids hardly ever finish anything and partly because as the story says, I forget things...so leaving out an ending seemed appropriate haha.

(The comment has been removed)

pew_pew_pew April 18 2011, 17:51:20 UTC

Probably seems that way because it is that way haha. I was very tired and decided to ramble! :)) Thanks for leaving a comment!

megyal April 17 2011, 00:22:44 UTC

Huh! I just...I have to tell you that I really like this. It's almost like a poem. There's an innocence in it that's really appealing, and a wonder of the world that kind of comes through as really hopeful. And then the ending feels dark, almost bitter and sad, and it still works.

You know, this could be a song. I may be biased because I love poetry, and I don't know if you have any plans to write more on this. But if you don't...then don't, you know? It's pretty the way it is.

pew_pew_pew April 18 2011, 17:52:57 UTC

You totally got what I was trying to go for, WHAT A RELIEF!
I'm a sucker for poetry too, shame I can't write it without it sounding amateur and self-indulgent!
Maybe some other time eh? :))
P.S I love your icon. I hate it when that happens.

megyal April 18 2011, 18:48:36 UTC

:) It's from a web-comedy called Jake & Amir.

canadino April 17 2011, 02:58:23 UTC

Um, story of my life?!? I can't wait to grow up, then I can't wait to be little again but oops, life doesn't happen that way.

And I think it was appropriate you ended where you did. Like "you forget things" and oh, it happens to be the ending. I'm probably reading into something that isn't there. Forgive me.

pew_pew_pew April 18 2011, 17:54:20 UTC

No, no you're reading into it just perfect :D
Life is fucking short. I turn around and BAM, 20 years just gone. Just like that. Fuck.