Fic: Five Conversations Jack Has With Janet 1/1
Title: Five Conversations Jack Has With Janet
Author:
petite_stars
Rating: G
Category: Jack and Janet friendship, Canon S/J
Spoilers: Everything
Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 belongs to MGM, Rob Cooper and Brad Wright… I made no money from this and have no money to be sued over.
Author’s notes: Quick five things fic that has been knocking around in my brain. Thanks to wanderingsmith , as always for the beta. Feedback, good or bad, is very much appreciated!
One
Jack blinked his eyes open to the brightly lit infirmary with a groan. A dull ache spread through the left side of his ribcage and he could feel the sharp sting of fresh cuts on his arms. His left knee twinged slightly as he moved in the bed and he ignored the sharp pain. He barely had the chance to open his mouth when a woman’s head popped into his vision.
The reddish brunette met his confused gaze with a look Jack couldn’t describe but that left both warmth and fear in its wake.
“My team?” Jack croaked worriedly, trying to push himself up on the white sheets. The last he remembered was yelling for the team to get to the gate before the locals made good on their threat to use their primitive weapons and attack.
“All came back slightly battered but will be fine, colonel,” the woman’s voice was soothing and a gentle but firm hand pressed him back to the bed, “You’ve got some bruised ribs and lacerations to your upper arms but you’ll be good as new in a few weeks. As will the rest of your team.”
“Good,” Jack settled down with a sigh, eyeing the woman as she moved by his bedside, flipping through his chart and eyeing the monitors next to his bed. He placed the familiar face from the numerous base personnel files he had been through with the nametag on her white coat, “Doctor Fraiser, right?” he paused, remembering a recent conversation with another female doctor/captain, “Or do you prefer Captain?”
Fraiser gave him a wry grin, “Doctor is fine sir.”
Jack vaguely remembered a discussion with General Hammond about the newly arriving C.M.O, “Welcome to the SGC Doc.”
“Thank you sir,” Doctor Fraiser snapped his file shut with a smile, “Your team certainly gave me quite the welcome on my first day.”
“Never a dull moment in this place,” Jack replied, twisting his head to look around the infirmary for his team. All he saw were closed curtains and the white-soled shoes of medical staff calmly walking by, “So am I good to go?”
Doctor Fraiser scoffed, “You took a strong knock to the head in addition to your other injuries, colonel. I have you on IV antibiotics for the arm lacerations. You’re looking at 24 hours observation. At least.”
Jack ignored her firm words, flipping the blanket off from his legs, not embarrassed in the slightest when the cool air hit his exposed limbs, “I’m fine.”
The doctor tilted her head at him and gave him another one of those indescribable looks, “Get back into bed colonel.”
“I’m a big boy doc,” Jack argued lightly, determined to leave the antiseptic-smelling rooms, “I’ll be fine.”
“Get back into bed colonel,” Doctor Fraiser repeated her words, this time the indescribable look was backed up by the steel in her voice.
Jack paused and gave the woman an appraising look. His very expression seemed to scream the words he didn’t speak; Or what?
The petite doctor smiled sweetly at him, “It’s in your best interests to not make an enemy in the medical staff colonel.”
Jack raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”
She nodded firmly, “I sign off on your fit-for-duty reports colonel” She reminded him, “And don’t think I don’t know your knee isn’t causing you trouble right now.”
Jack slid the rest of the way back into his bed, a disgruntled look on his face, “I suppose one night in the infirmary won’t kill me.” He decided it probably was best not to argue with the petite-sized C.M.O. She clearly had it in for aging colonels with dodgy knees. Even if she did sound like she knew her stuff.
“I should hope not,” Janet muttered. She pulled the sheet over him firmly and Jack appreciated the way she tucked it in tightly without it being too restrictive; although he didn’t let the appreciation show on his face.
“24 hours?” Jack sought out confirmation on his time of confinement.
Janet smiled, “Yes sir, 24 hours. Just like the rest of your team”
“Okay,” Jack settled back into the bed. His thoughts returned to his teammates, “The team really all okay?”
The doctor nodded and deft hands pushed back the curtains to reveal his teammates in beds, sleeping quietly near him, “See for yourself.”
Jack winced as he took in the heavy bruising on Daniel’s face. But the way his mouth was dropped open as he snored reassured him that the hardy archaeologist would be fine. Captain Carter had bandages on her arms, which Jack realised matched his own, and a few scratches on her cheeks. Yet she too seemed to be in the land of nod, her face relaxed in sleep. Jack couldn’t spot the last member of his team until Janet drew his gaze to the corner of the infirmary. Seated on the floor with his legs crossed indian-style was the big guy, deeply immersed in the weird meditation Jack couldn’t pronounce. It didn’t appear as through Teal’c had a mark on him.
“I'll get some anti-inflammatories for your knee and then I’ll leave you to rest, sir,” Doctor Fraiser said quietly.
Jack nodded absentmindedly, his eyes still on his battered team. Bruised, but all alive; he felt both a deep contentedness and weary tiredness fall over him, “Thanks Doc.”
Her heels clicked on the floor as she walked away, and Jack found the rhythm of her footsteps oddly soothing. He swallowed the pills she brought back and gave her a sleepy smile as he settled into the bed, “I get the feeling you and I will be seeing a lot of each other, doc.”
He drifted off to the sound of her soft laugh, “I hope for your sake you’re wrong colonel.”
Two
“She’s barely said a single word since the incident,” Janet felt frustration and uselessness course through her at the thought of the motionless woman lying in the infirmary. Sam Carter had practically regressed to a mute in the days following her possession by the Goa’uld and Janet didn’t know what else she could do, “I have to call in Doctor McKenzie.”
“It will go on her report.” The colonel sat in front of her desk, his face creased with lines of worry, dark shadows beneath his eyes, “There has to be something we can do before we throw her to the shrinks and ruin her career.”
Janet shook her head, “Medically her body is healing. It’s the mental trauma that’s causing this, colonel. She needs help to deal with the… experience.” The words tasted dirty in her mouth. She could liken the ‘experience’ to rape, the complete betrayal and possession of her mind and body. Janet shuddered at what Sam must have gone through.
Jack picked up a pen on Janet’s desk and began flipping it from hand to hand as he spoke, “I have an idea.” His voice was oddly flat and Janet frowned at him curiously.
“What is it?” An unpleasant feeling stirred in her stomach.
“Cassie.”
Alarm flared up in Janet at the thought of her daughter. The girl had barely slept since her encounter with the Goa‘uld. She woke up screaming and Janet could see that the girl’s safe haven on Earth was shattered. Worse than that, Sam was her closest friend, they had a bond that Janet found herself slightly jealous of. She’d spent the last nights listening as Cassie whimpered Sam’s name in her sleep and it tore her apart to see her little girl in so much pain.
“No.” Janet ended the idea before the colonel could even voice it fully.
“Carter needs something,” Jack said softly, “So does Cassie. Let them help each other.”
“I don’t want to make Cassie worse,” Janet said despairingly. She was just a child.
“Do you really think that would happen?” Jack countered, his voice steady and soothing, “Cass needs to see Sam is herself again. That the snake is gone. Carter needs… Carter needs Cass to snap her out of this … funk she‘s in.”
Janet bit her lip, “I…”
“If it goes bad, which it won’t,” Jack said evenly, “We’ll all be close by.”
Janet sighed, “I’ll ask her.” She looked into her dark eyes, “I won’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to, though.”
“Neither would I,” Jack said firmly.
Janet nodded, her face creased with worry. But as she looked out into the infirmary at the huddled figure of her friend in so much pain, she felt something pull inside of her. Something had to be done, and maybe the colonel was right, Cassie might just be the push Sam needed to come back to them from her seemingly bottomless depression. Janet could only hope Cassie would get the closure and comfort she needed from seeing Sam as well. That the healing would be a two-way solution.
“It’s going to work, doc.” Jack’s said, his voice confident, “It will.”
Janet certainly hoped it would.
Three
At nearly midnight, Janet looked up from the blank report on her computer to see Jack O’Neill’s lanky form leaning crookedly against the doorframe.
“Colonel?” Janet stood up slowly, wincing as her back protested sharply at the change in position, “What can I do for you, sir?”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer. Given the events of earlier in the day, it could be relating to many things Janet didn’t particularly want to talk about; Astor’s death, Zatarc confessions or the crushed Major who she had sent home hours earlier, in shock from Martouf’s death and her own hand in it.
Jack waved her down into her seat as he entered the room and slouched himself in the chair opposite her desk, “Relax Janet. I’m not here for anything official.”
“I would assume not, given the hour,” Janet flicked her eyes at the clock, “You should be resting, colonel.”
“So should you,” Jack shot back quickly, his tone defensive but not sharp.
“I need to finish my report on…” Janet trailed off. Finish wasn’t quite the word she should be using, she thought as she stared at her blank screen, start was much more accurate.
“On the, ah,” he cleared his throat, “Zatarc watsits.”
Janet pressed her lips together, “Yes sir.”
“It’s a simple write up, doc,” Jack fixed her with a steady look, “I finished mine hours ago. Hammond already has it.”
Janet’s eyebrows rose in surprise, he had finished his report? “How did you finish it so quickly?”
“I just put in there exactly what happened, exactly what I said,” Jack said, “you should be doing the same.”
Janet’s eyes flicked back to her blank screen. The words she was going to write could be career ending. Not for her, but for the calm man in front of her and the best female officer she had ever served with. The best friend she had.
“Carter’s will be the same, doc,” Jack said quietly, “The truth. We’ve got nothing to hide. What we…” He shifted uncomfortably, “Admitted. Is no different to how we both feel about the whole team.”
Janet knew that was true; SG1 were bonded closer than any other team on base. Yet still, the dynamics between the CO and 2IC of the team would always be looked at differently given the gender and positions they held. Unfair, definitely, but that was just how it was. She was bound by the same rules and regulations they were, and she was duty-bound to report what she had witnessed today.
“I had no intention to lie on my report, colonel,” Janet looked at him firmly, “I just don’t want what I write to be misinterpreted.”
“You let me worry about the consequences Janet,” Jack said softly, “If there is any fallout, and I stress if, Carter’s not going to be the one in the line of fire. I’ll make damn sure of that.” Jack’s voice was fierce.
Whatever feelings were between Jack O’Neill and his 2IC were complicated. The rules were in place for a reason, but Janet knew the two officers involved. Their integrity, honour and dedication to their jobs was nothing short of brilliant. Jack O’Neill had proven time and time again that he would do anything to save the planet, and Sam Carter was never more than a step behind. If anyone could handle whatever was between the two of them without stepping over the line, it was them.
Janet sighed, “I need to get this finished.”
Jack stood up, “I should be going.”
“To bed, colonel.” Janet prompted him, “It’s been a long day.”
“Tell me about it,” Jack paused at the doorway. Turning back, he gave Janet an unreadable look, “Carter… is she. I didn’t get the chance to see her after… Martouf.”
Janet swallowed hard, remembering Sam’s pale face and grief-stricken eyes as Daniel had led her out of the infirmary, “Daniel took her home. She was…” Janet wasn’t going to lie, “In rough shape, but Daniel’s with her.”
It wasn’t much of a consolation. Janet knew Jack wanted to be there. But it wasn’t appropriate and Jack couldn’t offer Sam anything. Not now.
“Thanks,” Jack tapped the door frame, “Get some rest Janet.”
He disappeared silently and Janet turned back to her report.
Four
Janet wasn’t sure whether it was correct to be signing a death certificate for someone who technically wasn’t dead. She didn’t have a body, just the undeniable proof that Daniel Jackson was no longer here.
With a heavy sigh and red eyes, Janet signed her name, dotting the pen a little harder than she usually would. Daniel’s was the 23rd death certificate she had signed this year alone. It just wasn’t right that good people kept dying, that they all kept losing comrades and friends to a fight that never seemed to end.
Janet filed the rest of the paperwork blindly. Concentrating on the practical process rather than the emotions that came with being the CMO of a frontline facility. She paused in her task outside the doorway to the observation deck that watched over the room Daniel had last been in. Without quite realising what she was doing, Janet was through the door and up the stairs before she had time to think.
She stopped at the sight of Colonel O’Neill hunched over, his eyes pinned to the room below. His eyes weren’t red, and there were no tears on his face, but Janet could clearly see the grief that radiated from every inch of him.
“I’m sorry colonel,” Janet’s voice was apologetic, “I didn’t realise you were in here, I’ll just-”
Janet was about to leave him to his privacy when she spotted what held his attention in the room below. Sam was sitting on the floor of the room, her knees drawn into her chest and her whole body shaking with tears, clearly unaware of her commanding officer, of her friend, just sitting watching her from the observation deck.
“Colonel,” Janet stopped in her tracks, “Aren’t you going to go down there?”
Jack turned his face to hers, and Janet suddenly saw not grief, but an empty blankness that made her shiver deep inside. He shook his head numbly and Janet found her anger growing at the man.
“You’re her CO Jack,” Janet snapped, letting the anger and her own emotions from the awful day fill her voice, “She needs you.”
Jack let out a sigh, “She doesn’t need me.”
“She’s upset, grieving; you both just lost a teammate, a friend.” Janet watched as Jack’s hands clenched together tightly.
“We lose people in this job Janet,” his voice was flat and emotionless, “You know that.”
Janet thought of the 22 other death certificates she had signed that year, but then the image of Daniel’s face floated into her mind, “But this was Daniel.” It wasn’t that the other deaths hadn’t mattered, they had. But never had it been a member of SG1, never had it been someone so close.
Jack shook his head, “It happens,” he muttered.
Janet pressed her lips together at his military bravado, “So you're going to leave her to cry alone down there?”
Jack closed his eyes briefly, and Janet watched as his jaw clenched. He said nothing further and Janet turned on her heel and left the room.
Sam didn’t seem to notice when Janet sat down next to her. Her small arms held Sam close as the two women shared tears over their lost friend. After a few minutes Janet looked up into the shadowed observation deck expecting to see the Colonel‘s hunched figure, but it was empty.
Five
Jack grunted as he knelt down to place the bright bunch of red flowers to rest against the base of the gravestone. He brushed his fingers against the name engraved on the smooth marble, Janet Michelle Frasier.
“Been too long, doc,” Jack spoke quietly. No one was around the quiet cemetery, but Jack still felt the need for reverence, “Can’t believe you’ve been gone for four years now.”
“Would have come sooner but I’ve been in Washington,” Jack chuckled, “Doubt you would ever have imagined me brushing shoulders with the big wigs, but apparently I have a talent for whatever it is they’ve hired me to do out there.”
“Cassie’s doing well,” Jack smiled at the thought of the young woman, “For awhile after your… well she wanted to join up; leave her degree and fight. Carter convinced her to take some time off. She did some travelling, and did some thinking and she went back to study and is nearly finished. Not sure why she wanted to study law, but the girl does love to argue.”
“She misses you though,” Jack sighed, “We all do. Have never really found anyone to fill your tiny shoes. Dr Lam does alright, she just doesn‘t know the best way to stitch up Siler or how to get Daniel to stay in his bed. It's not the same without you there.”
“Daniel and Teal’c are still fighting the good fight. Teal’c splits his time between the Jaffa and Earth. He’s still got some weird long distance thing with Ishta. Daniel… I know Daniel comes to see you more than I do. He’s still the same annoying, bratty and intelligent guy he always was. Still sticking up for the little guys.” Jack smiled fondly, “Last week though, he came back naked from a mission. Haven’t gotten the full story yet but… I’m sure you would have gotten a laugh out of the whole thing. Teal‘c promised me video footage. I have a feeling it has something to do with Vala… ah Vala. You’d love her, the two of you plus Carter would probably give the entire male SGC population a run for their money.”
“Carter… Carter’s come so far. Got her own command; Atlantis. She did a wonderful job, couldn’t be prouder of her. Her relocation back to Earth wasn’t ideal and I don’t want to bore you with the ineptness of the IOA and Woolsey, but lets just say there are definitely some perks to having her home.” A smile touched Jack’s lips.
“But I just came to let you know that things are good,” Jack pressed a hand to the cool marble, “The bad guys are out-numbered by the good guys and the SGC is still standing.”
Jack stepped away, “Promise next time I won’t take such a long time to get back.”
“We miss ya doc.”
***
The End.
Author:
petite_stars
Rating: G
Category: Jack and Janet friendship, Canon S/J
Spoilers: Everything
Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 belongs to MGM, Rob Cooper and Brad Wright… I made no money from this and have no money to be sued over.
Author’s notes: Quick five things fic that has been knocking around in my brain. Thanks to wanderingsmith , as always for the beta. Feedback, good or bad, is very much appreciated!
One
Jack blinked his eyes open to the brightly lit infirmary with a groan. A dull ache spread through the left side of his ribcage and he could feel the sharp sting of fresh cuts on his arms. His left knee twinged slightly as he moved in the bed and he ignored the sharp pain. He barely had the chance to open his mouth when a woman’s head popped into his vision.
The reddish brunette met his confused gaze with a look Jack couldn’t describe but that left both warmth and fear in its wake.
“My team?” Jack croaked worriedly, trying to push himself up on the white sheets. The last he remembered was yelling for the team to get to the gate before the locals made good on their threat to use their primitive weapons and attack.
“All came back slightly battered but will be fine, colonel,” the woman’s voice was soothing and a gentle but firm hand pressed him back to the bed, “You’ve got some bruised ribs and lacerations to your upper arms but you’ll be good as new in a few weeks. As will the rest of your team.”
“Good,” Jack settled down with a sigh, eyeing the woman as she moved by his bedside, flipping through his chart and eyeing the monitors next to his bed. He placed the familiar face from the numerous base personnel files he had been through with the nametag on her white coat, “Doctor Fraiser, right?” he paused, remembering a recent conversation with another female doctor/captain, “Or do you prefer Captain?”
Fraiser gave him a wry grin, “Doctor is fine sir.”
Jack vaguely remembered a discussion with General Hammond about the newly arriving C.M.O, “Welcome to the SGC Doc.”
“Thank you sir,” Doctor Fraiser snapped his file shut with a smile, “Your team certainly gave me quite the welcome on my first day.”
“Never a dull moment in this place,” Jack replied, twisting his head to look around the infirmary for his team. All he saw were closed curtains and the white-soled shoes of medical staff calmly walking by, “So am I good to go?”
Doctor Fraiser scoffed, “You took a strong knock to the head in addition to your other injuries, colonel. I have you on IV antibiotics for the arm lacerations. You’re looking at 24 hours observation. At least.”
Jack ignored her firm words, flipping the blanket off from his legs, not embarrassed in the slightest when the cool air hit his exposed limbs, “I’m fine.”
The doctor tilted her head at him and gave him another one of those indescribable looks, “Get back into bed colonel.”
“I’m a big boy doc,” Jack argued lightly, determined to leave the antiseptic-smelling rooms, “I’ll be fine.”
“Get back into bed colonel,” Doctor Fraiser repeated her words, this time the indescribable look was backed up by the steel in her voice.
Jack paused and gave the woman an appraising look. His very expression seemed to scream the words he didn’t speak; Or what?
The petite doctor smiled sweetly at him, “It’s in your best interests to not make an enemy in the medical staff colonel.”
Jack raised an eyebrow, “Oh?”
She nodded firmly, “I sign off on your fit-for-duty reports colonel” She reminded him, “And don’t think I don’t know your knee isn’t causing you trouble right now.”
Jack slid the rest of the way back into his bed, a disgruntled look on his face, “I suppose one night in the infirmary won’t kill me.” He decided it probably was best not to argue with the petite-sized C.M.O. She clearly had it in for aging colonels with dodgy knees. Even if she did sound like she knew her stuff.
“I should hope not,” Janet muttered. She pulled the sheet over him firmly and Jack appreciated the way she tucked it in tightly without it being too restrictive; although he didn’t let the appreciation show on his face.
“24 hours?” Jack sought out confirmation on his time of confinement.
Janet smiled, “Yes sir, 24 hours. Just like the rest of your team”
“Okay,” Jack settled back into the bed. His thoughts returned to his teammates, “The team really all okay?”
The doctor nodded and deft hands pushed back the curtains to reveal his teammates in beds, sleeping quietly near him, “See for yourself.”
Jack winced as he took in the heavy bruising on Daniel’s face. But the way his mouth was dropped open as he snored reassured him that the hardy archaeologist would be fine. Captain Carter had bandages on her arms, which Jack realised matched his own, and a few scratches on her cheeks. Yet she too seemed to be in the land of nod, her face relaxed in sleep. Jack couldn’t spot the last member of his team until Janet drew his gaze to the corner of the infirmary. Seated on the floor with his legs crossed indian-style was the big guy, deeply immersed in the weird meditation Jack couldn’t pronounce. It didn’t appear as through Teal’c had a mark on him.
“I'll get some anti-inflammatories for your knee and then I’ll leave you to rest, sir,” Doctor Fraiser said quietly.
Jack nodded absentmindedly, his eyes still on his battered team. Bruised, but all alive; he felt both a deep contentedness and weary tiredness fall over him, “Thanks Doc.”
Her heels clicked on the floor as she walked away, and Jack found the rhythm of her footsteps oddly soothing. He swallowed the pills she brought back and gave her a sleepy smile as he settled into the bed, “I get the feeling you and I will be seeing a lot of each other, doc.”
He drifted off to the sound of her soft laugh, “I hope for your sake you’re wrong colonel.”
Two
“She’s barely said a single word since the incident,” Janet felt frustration and uselessness course through her at the thought of the motionless woman lying in the infirmary. Sam Carter had practically regressed to a mute in the days following her possession by the Goa’uld and Janet didn’t know what else she could do, “I have to call in Doctor McKenzie.”
“It will go on her report.” The colonel sat in front of her desk, his face creased with lines of worry, dark shadows beneath his eyes, “There has to be something we can do before we throw her to the shrinks and ruin her career.”
Janet shook her head, “Medically her body is healing. It’s the mental trauma that’s causing this, colonel. She needs help to deal with the… experience.” The words tasted dirty in her mouth. She could liken the ‘experience’ to rape, the complete betrayal and possession of her mind and body. Janet shuddered at what Sam must have gone through.
Jack picked up a pen on Janet’s desk and began flipping it from hand to hand as he spoke, “I have an idea.” His voice was oddly flat and Janet frowned at him curiously.
“What is it?” An unpleasant feeling stirred in her stomach.
“Cassie.”
Alarm flared up in Janet at the thought of her daughter. The girl had barely slept since her encounter with the Goa‘uld. She woke up screaming and Janet could see that the girl’s safe haven on Earth was shattered. Worse than that, Sam was her closest friend, they had a bond that Janet found herself slightly jealous of. She’d spent the last nights listening as Cassie whimpered Sam’s name in her sleep and it tore her apart to see her little girl in so much pain.
“No.” Janet ended the idea before the colonel could even voice it fully.
“Carter needs something,” Jack said softly, “So does Cassie. Let them help each other.”
“I don’t want to make Cassie worse,” Janet said despairingly. She was just a child.
“Do you really think that would happen?” Jack countered, his voice steady and soothing, “Cass needs to see Sam is herself again. That the snake is gone. Carter needs… Carter needs Cass to snap her out of this … funk she‘s in.”
Janet bit her lip, “I…”
“If it goes bad, which it won’t,” Jack said evenly, “We’ll all be close by.”
Janet sighed, “I’ll ask her.” She looked into her dark eyes, “I won’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to, though.”
“Neither would I,” Jack said firmly.
Janet nodded, her face creased with worry. But as she looked out into the infirmary at the huddled figure of her friend in so much pain, she felt something pull inside of her. Something had to be done, and maybe the colonel was right, Cassie might just be the push Sam needed to come back to them from her seemingly bottomless depression. Janet could only hope Cassie would get the closure and comfort she needed from seeing Sam as well. That the healing would be a two-way solution.
“It’s going to work, doc.” Jack’s said, his voice confident, “It will.”
Janet certainly hoped it would.
Three
At nearly midnight, Janet looked up from the blank report on her computer to see Jack O’Neill’s lanky form leaning crookedly against the doorframe.
“Colonel?” Janet stood up slowly, wincing as her back protested sharply at the change in position, “What can I do for you, sir?”
She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer. Given the events of earlier in the day, it could be relating to many things Janet didn’t particularly want to talk about; Astor’s death, Zatarc confessions or the crushed Major who she had sent home hours earlier, in shock from Martouf’s death and her own hand in it.
Jack waved her down into her seat as he entered the room and slouched himself in the chair opposite her desk, “Relax Janet. I’m not here for anything official.”
“I would assume not, given the hour,” Janet flicked her eyes at the clock, “You should be resting, colonel.”
“So should you,” Jack shot back quickly, his tone defensive but not sharp.
“I need to finish my report on…” Janet trailed off. Finish wasn’t quite the word she should be using, she thought as she stared at her blank screen, start was much more accurate.
“On the, ah,” he cleared his throat, “Zatarc watsits.”
Janet pressed her lips together, “Yes sir.”
“It’s a simple write up, doc,” Jack fixed her with a steady look, “I finished mine hours ago. Hammond already has it.”
Janet’s eyebrows rose in surprise, he had finished his report? “How did you finish it so quickly?”
“I just put in there exactly what happened, exactly what I said,” Jack said, “you should be doing the same.”
Janet’s eyes flicked back to her blank screen. The words she was going to write could be career ending. Not for her, but for the calm man in front of her and the best female officer she had ever served with. The best friend she had.
“Carter’s will be the same, doc,” Jack said quietly, “The truth. We’ve got nothing to hide. What we…” He shifted uncomfortably, “Admitted. Is no different to how we both feel about the whole team.”
Janet knew that was true; SG1 were bonded closer than any other team on base. Yet still, the dynamics between the CO and 2IC of the team would always be looked at differently given the gender and positions they held. Unfair, definitely, but that was just how it was. She was bound by the same rules and regulations they were, and she was duty-bound to report what she had witnessed today.
“I had no intention to lie on my report, colonel,” Janet looked at him firmly, “I just don’t want what I write to be misinterpreted.”
“You let me worry about the consequences Janet,” Jack said softly, “If there is any fallout, and I stress if, Carter’s not going to be the one in the line of fire. I’ll make damn sure of that.” Jack’s voice was fierce.
Whatever feelings were between Jack O’Neill and his 2IC were complicated. The rules were in place for a reason, but Janet knew the two officers involved. Their integrity, honour and dedication to their jobs was nothing short of brilliant. Jack O’Neill had proven time and time again that he would do anything to save the planet, and Sam Carter was never more than a step behind. If anyone could handle whatever was between the two of them without stepping over the line, it was them.
Janet sighed, “I need to get this finished.”
Jack stood up, “I should be going.”
“To bed, colonel.” Janet prompted him, “It’s been a long day.”
“Tell me about it,” Jack paused at the doorway. Turning back, he gave Janet an unreadable look, “Carter… is she. I didn’t get the chance to see her after… Martouf.”
Janet swallowed hard, remembering Sam’s pale face and grief-stricken eyes as Daniel had led her out of the infirmary, “Daniel took her home. She was…” Janet wasn’t going to lie, “In rough shape, but Daniel’s with her.”
It wasn’t much of a consolation. Janet knew Jack wanted to be there. But it wasn’t appropriate and Jack couldn’t offer Sam anything. Not now.
“Thanks,” Jack tapped the door frame, “Get some rest Janet.”
He disappeared silently and Janet turned back to her report.
Four
Janet wasn’t sure whether it was correct to be signing a death certificate for someone who technically wasn’t dead. She didn’t have a body, just the undeniable proof that Daniel Jackson was no longer here.
With a heavy sigh and red eyes, Janet signed her name, dotting the pen a little harder than she usually would. Daniel’s was the 23rd death certificate she had signed this year alone. It just wasn’t right that good people kept dying, that they all kept losing comrades and friends to a fight that never seemed to end.
Janet filed the rest of the paperwork blindly. Concentrating on the practical process rather than the emotions that came with being the CMO of a frontline facility. She paused in her task outside the doorway to the observation deck that watched over the room Daniel had last been in. Without quite realising what she was doing, Janet was through the door and up the stairs before she had time to think.
She stopped at the sight of Colonel O’Neill hunched over, his eyes pinned to the room below. His eyes weren’t red, and there were no tears on his face, but Janet could clearly see the grief that radiated from every inch of him.
“I’m sorry colonel,” Janet’s voice was apologetic, “I didn’t realise you were in here, I’ll just-”
Janet was about to leave him to his privacy when she spotted what held his attention in the room below. Sam was sitting on the floor of the room, her knees drawn into her chest and her whole body shaking with tears, clearly unaware of her commanding officer, of her friend, just sitting watching her from the observation deck.
“Colonel,” Janet stopped in her tracks, “Aren’t you going to go down there?”
Jack turned his face to hers, and Janet suddenly saw not grief, but an empty blankness that made her shiver deep inside. He shook his head numbly and Janet found her anger growing at the man.
“You’re her CO Jack,” Janet snapped, letting the anger and her own emotions from the awful day fill her voice, “She needs you.”
Jack let out a sigh, “She doesn’t need me.”
“She’s upset, grieving; you both just lost a teammate, a friend.” Janet watched as Jack’s hands clenched together tightly.
“We lose people in this job Janet,” his voice was flat and emotionless, “You know that.”
Janet thought of the 22 other death certificates she had signed that year, but then the image of Daniel’s face floated into her mind, “But this was Daniel.” It wasn’t that the other deaths hadn’t mattered, they had. But never had it been a member of SG1, never had it been someone so close.
Jack shook his head, “It happens,” he muttered.
Janet pressed her lips together at his military bravado, “So you're going to leave her to cry alone down there?”
Jack closed his eyes briefly, and Janet watched as his jaw clenched. He said nothing further and Janet turned on her heel and left the room.
Sam didn’t seem to notice when Janet sat down next to her. Her small arms held Sam close as the two women shared tears over their lost friend. After a few minutes Janet looked up into the shadowed observation deck expecting to see the Colonel‘s hunched figure, but it was empty.
Five
Jack grunted as he knelt down to place the bright bunch of red flowers to rest against the base of the gravestone. He brushed his fingers against the name engraved on the smooth marble, Janet Michelle Frasier.
“Been too long, doc,” Jack spoke quietly. No one was around the quiet cemetery, but Jack still felt the need for reverence, “Can’t believe you’ve been gone for four years now.”
“Would have come sooner but I’ve been in Washington,” Jack chuckled, “Doubt you would ever have imagined me brushing shoulders with the big wigs, but apparently I have a talent for whatever it is they’ve hired me to do out there.”
“Cassie’s doing well,” Jack smiled at the thought of the young woman, “For awhile after your… well she wanted to join up; leave her degree and fight. Carter convinced her to take some time off. She did some travelling, and did some thinking and she went back to study and is nearly finished. Not sure why she wanted to study law, but the girl does love to argue.”
“She misses you though,” Jack sighed, “We all do. Have never really found anyone to fill your tiny shoes. Dr Lam does alright, she just doesn‘t know the best way to stitch up Siler or how to get Daniel to stay in his bed. It's not the same without you there.”
“Daniel and Teal’c are still fighting the good fight. Teal’c splits his time between the Jaffa and Earth. He’s still got some weird long distance thing with Ishta. Daniel… I know Daniel comes to see you more than I do. He’s still the same annoying, bratty and intelligent guy he always was. Still sticking up for the little guys.” Jack smiled fondly, “Last week though, he came back naked from a mission. Haven’t gotten the full story yet but… I’m sure you would have gotten a laugh out of the whole thing. Teal‘c promised me video footage. I have a feeling it has something to do with Vala… ah Vala. You’d love her, the two of you plus Carter would probably give the entire male SGC population a run for their money.”
“Carter… Carter’s come so far. Got her own command; Atlantis. She did a wonderful job, couldn’t be prouder of her. Her relocation back to Earth wasn’t ideal and I don’t want to bore you with the ineptness of the IOA and Woolsey, but lets just say there are definitely some perks to having her home.” A smile touched Jack’s lips.
“But I just came to let you know that things are good,” Jack pressed a hand to the cool marble, “The bad guys are out-numbered by the good guys and the SGC is still standing.”
Jack stepped away, “Promise next time I won’t take such a long time to get back.”
“We miss ya doc.”
***
The End.