Look You In The Eye
Title: Look You In the Eye
Author: Persiflage_1
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Martha, Donna, Jack, Sarah Jane, TARDIS
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: S4 Casting/Speculation, Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane, TW S2
Summary: Post S4: Martha and the Doctor deal with recent events
Disclaimer: The BBC owns "Doctor Who" and the Doctor owns me…
Author Notes: This fic is for holo_daxy as the title and inspiration for it came from her fanmix "Don't Walk Away", which includes Sway by Bic Runga. The lines To look you in the eye / And let all the things you mean to me / Come tumbling out my mouth indeed it's time caused the Bunny!Muses to hop *really* madly! For this story I've taken some of the many rumours that abound concerning the final three episodes of Season 4, together with known casting information, and pulled them together.
Beta: padawanpooh
~~~~~~
Martha approached the TARDIS with a heavy heart: the last few days had been exhausting, traumatic and chaotic, and despite her previous experience of travelling with the Doctor, dealing with such things didn't get any easier.
She stopped outside the familiar blue box and paused to take a few deep breaths before she unlocked the door. The ship would seem startlingly empty now that everyone else had left: Rose, her mother and Mickey had been returned to the parallel universe at the restoration of the Time Lines; Jack had gone back to his team in Cardiff; Sarah Jane had gone back to her son and their friends in Ealing; and Donna, warm-hearted and brave, was now lying in a hospital mortuary.
Martha had been relieved to be there on her own: the number of people around her over the last few days had been dizzying at times. Trying to deal with three former companions of the Doctor, whilst also trying to help Donna was not her idea of fun. Jack had no recollection of having met her, thanks to the Time Lines reversing; Sarah Jane had been close to frantic with worry, having already encountered the being responsible for taking the Doctor; and Rose had been suspicious of Martha, wary of Sarah Jane (despite having met her before), and all over Jack, which might have been funny in other circumstances, but had been simply annoying in the present situation.
The Doctor had barely made it back to this universe from the weird limbo universe to which the Trickster had taken him, virtually unravelling all of Time in the process, before Donna had succumbed to the injuries she had sustained in the temporal explosion that had occurred when the Time Lord had been removed. Martha's sense of guilt over the fact that she had been safely inside the TARDIS and shielded, whilst Donna had not, was painfully strong but would have to wait. The most important thing she had to do right now was look after the Doctor since he had been injured during his escape from the Trickster.
She let herself into the TARDIS, pulling off her jacket and dropping it over the railing near the console, then made her way through the now-silent corridors to the Doctor's room. She slipped quietly inside, hoping to find him sleeping, but he turned his head as she approached the bed.
"Hey," she said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him.
"Hello." He looked worn out and defeated: worse than he'd ever looked whilst the Master had been tearing her planet apart.
"Did you sleep?" she asked.
"A bit," he answered. "How are you? How's - " He broke off, reading the answer to his unasked question in her face, and swore in Gallifreyan. "How did Donna's family take it."
Martha shrugged. "Much as you'd expect. Sylvia was distraught and Wilf was furious; it's just as well you weren't there, I think he'd have throttled you."
"I think I would have let him," the Doctor answered listlessly.
She reached down and slipped her hand into his as it lay on the bed. "I wouldn't," she said quietly, watching his face. He turned his head away but she saw his eyes were glistening.
"So when are you going?" he asked, changing the subject quickly.
"I'm not."
His head snapped around again, which caused him to wince at the pain. "What?"
"I'm not going, at least not any time soon."
"But what about UNIT?"
"I've arranged to take some time off. I'm entitled to it and Brigadier Bambera agreed that at the moment you need me more than they do."
"I can look after myself." He shifted restlessly.
"Doctor, don't be an idiot" Martha said gently, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. "If you could look after yourself you wouldn't be lying in bed right now: you'd be bouncing around the Control Room, talking nineteen to the dozen." She could clearly see the tears in his eyes now. "You still need some medical care, and some TLC wouldn't hurt either."
He frowned. "TLC?"
"Tender Loving Care: you need someone to look after you, to make sure you don't do anything rash after everything that's happened."
"I - Thank you." His tone was heartfelt and there was some emotion in his eyes that Martha couldn't immediately identify.
"Are you hungry?" she asked. He nodded. "Then I'll go and sort out a late lunch."
"Before you go, could you - " He paused and Martha raised an eyebrow, noting the faint blush tingeing his cheeks.
"Could I what?" she asked.
"Could you help me to get dressed? I want to get up for a bit. I'm sorry to have to ask, I know you're a trained doctor, not a nurse, but - "
"Doctor, it doesn't matter, I'm your friend, of course I'll help you." She slipped off the bed, then pulled back the bedding and helped him to sit up. Before they'd moved the Doctor from the Med Bay to his room, Jack had dressed him in some pyjamas, probably the same pair she'd seen him wearing at Royal Hope given how little he slept.
Martha moved over to the wardrobe and got out his blue suit and a cream shirt, putting them on the bed, before getting out a t-shirt and some underwear from the chest of drawers. She knelt on the floor and put his socks on, then helped him out of the pyjama top and into the t-shirt and shirt.
"Up you come," she said, helping him to stand up so she could swap his pyjama trousers for his suit ones. She slipped the pyjamas down his legs and helped him to step out of them, then quickly helped him into a pair of boxers. She averted her eyes whilst she got his underwear and trousers on, not wanting to embarrass him. Finally she helped him into his shoes and jacket as well.
"OK?" she asked.
"Yes thanks." He put his arm around her shoulders and allowed her to help him out of his room and up the corridor to the kitchen. Martha couldn't help thinking how lucky it was that the TARDIS was able to rearrange her rooms: it was only a short walk from the Doctor's room to the kitchen.
She settled him in a chair. "What do you want to eat?" she asked, opening cupboard doors.
"Comfort food," he answered.
"OK." She got out bowls and plates, cutlery, glasses and mugs, then set about heating up some of the soup they had in the fridge. She put a loaf of bread on the table and left the Doctor to slice it up whilst she filled the kettle to make hot chocolate. She pulled a bag of marshmallows from a cupboard, knowing he shared her fondness for marshmallows with hot chocolate. Finally she found the cake tin with the other half of the rich fruit cake that her mum had made and that she'd brought with her when she'd rejoined the Doctor and Donna a few days ago.
They ate in silence, Martha weary after the long night at the hospital and the Doctor tired from the effort of getting up.
"Do you want to go back to bed?" she asked after they finished their hot chocolate and marshmallows.
"I want to go to the Control Room first," the Doctor answered.
"Let me do the washing up then."
He watched Martha as she worked, noting the slump in her shoulders and the lethargy in her movements. He closed his eyes, remembering how tired she'd been after her year walking the world, and wondered what he had done to deserve her continued support and friendship. She'd come a long way from the wide-eyed medical student he'd met at the hospital: she was stronger, tougher and far more self-confident. The Year That Never Was had changed her, but so had working for UNIT. He was immensely proud of the way she had out-grown him and he wondered if she realised that he now needed her far more than she needed him. Regardless, he was going to tell her soon. It was even more important now than ever before that she knew these things.
He heard the sound of water being poured away and opened his eyes again to see Martha drying her hands. She hung up the towel then crossed to the Doctor's side and helped him to his feet. He was healing faster than a human being, but the injuries he'd received battling the Trickster in his attempt to return to this universe would continue to trouble him for several days at least. They slowly made their way to the Control Room, the Doctor leaning heavily on Martha, despite his best attempts to support himself.
They made their way over to the Captain's chair and Martha settled him there to rest and catch his breath. She instinctively knew he wanted to be at the console, but they both needed to rest first. It was lucky that he was so skinny, she reflected, or she'd never have been able to support his weight.
The Doctor shifted restlessly, so Martha got up and led him across to the console, holding him steady as he ran his long fingers across the buttons, switches and levers, murmuring quietly in Gallifreyan to his ship.
"I want to move her into the Vortex," he said.
Martha quirked an eyebrow as she looked up into his face. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked. "I've seen the way you dash around the console normally and, not to put too fine a point on it, you can barely stand up, even with my support."
"That's why you're going to do it," he answered.
"Me?!" She looked at him in disbelief. "I can't pilot the TARDIS."
"You can, with our help."
"Can't it wait?"
"It could, but I will heal quicker once we're out of space and time. The TARDIS can draw power from the Vortex and use it to help me to recover."
"Oh!" She chewed her thumb absent-mindedly as she thought about it. "OK. What do I have to do?"
"I need to link you to the TARDIS telepathically so she can guide you."
She nodded and he put his hands to her temples, just as she'd seen him do with Peter Street so long ago. She closed her eyes and a moment later she had an image of the Doctor, looking much more like his usual energetic self, in her mind, along with an image of the TARDIS console.
I will show you the sequence you need to follow to operate the TARDIS, he told her. She sent her agreement and he slowly took her through the sequence twice. OK?
Got it, she said. She felt his hands leave her face and opened her eyes quickly, then helped him over to the seat again, seeing how drained he looked. "Hold tight."
He grasped the seat tightly and she moved back to the console, then closed her eyes and allowed the TARDIS to enter her mind so that she could watch what Martha was doing. It was a slightly odd sensation, but not uncomfortable, and she felt the TARDIS' warm approval as she moved around the console pressing buttons, flicking switches and turning dials. Finally she closed down the Gravitic Anomalyser, fired up the Helmic Regulator, then hit the handbrake. The next moment her eyes snapped open as the familiar sound of the TARDIS dematerialising filled the Control Room.
She turned to the Doctor, a look of pure delight filling her face and he gave her a tired yet pleased smile.
"Well done," he said hoarsely.
"Bed for you now, mister," she told him and he gave her a tired nod.
"Could do with a nap," he agreed.
Martha helped him up from his seat and led him down the corridor. To her relief the TARDIS had again swapped the rooms around for the convenience of her Time Lord and they didn't have far to go to reach the Doctor's bedroom. She guided him over to the bed, then pulled back the covers. He sat down heavily.
"I think we'll just get your shoes and jacket off, don't you?" she suggested and he nodded wearily, so she helped him out of his jacket, then pulled off his red Converse.
He started to fumble with his shirt buttons, so she quickly undid them and helped him out of that too. She moved his clothes onto a chair, then helped him to get comfortable: she was suddenly reminded of putting Leo to bed when he was little and decided not to share that thought with the Doctor.
"Do you want me to stay?" she asked, sitting down by his knees.
"Yes please." He looked up at her. "You look like you could use a nap too," he said.
She nodded. "I'll borrow your chair, if you don't mind?"
"We could share the bed," he suggested quietly. "Wouldn't be the first time."
She hesitated, remembering the first time they'd shared a bed, back in Shakespeare's day, and hearing the echo of the Doctor's words in her head. He looked up at her and guessed the reason for her hesitation.
"It'll just be you and me," he said. "No ghosts."
"OK." She pulled off her boots and sat down again, yawning.
"Borrow my pyjamas, if you don't want to go and get your own, you'll be more comfortable than sleeping in your jeans."
"Thanks." She picked up his discarded pyjamas and went through into his bathroom to change; they were too big but she was too tired to bother going to find a pair of her own. As she pulled them on, she remembered the first time she'd seen the Doctor in them, all mischievous smiles and little winks as she'd discovered his second heartbeat and tried to work out how he'd been out in the street but also, apparently, in a bed at the Royal Hope. She'd been intrigued and captivated from that moment on. She rolled the sleeves of the top up so that they weren't dangling over her hands and paused to lift one to inhale the scent: oranges, cinnamon and something indefinable that reminded Martha of the TARDIS, which she thought of as the scent of Time, tickled her nose. She finished turning up the sleeves, then turned up the trouser legs too since she didn't want to trip over them. I really should have gone and got my pyjamas, she thought ruefully.
The Doctor couldn't help smiling when Martha walked back into his room; she looked a bit like an orphan in his too-big sleepwear. She caught his smile and echoed it, dropping her clothes on top of his before climbing up into the bed beside him. He slid his arm around her, so she turned onto her side and draped her left arm across his torso.
"This is nice," he said sleepily.
"Yes it is," she answered, because truthfully it was both a comfort and a relief to be with someone else right now.
They both feel asleep quickly, worn out by recent events, but soothed by the TARDIS' familiar hum.
Martha wasn't sure how long they'd slept when the Doctor woke her, crying out in the grip of a nightmare. When she opened her eyes she saw his face was beaded with sweat, a grimace of pain and anger twisting his features. She reached out and shook his shoulder but he only cried out again. Still holding the Doctor, Martha reached her other hand to the wall and spoke to the TARDIS in her mind, sensing the ship's connection was still there from earlier.
I can't wake him, you'll have to do it, she told the ship. She felt a hum of acquiescence from the TARDIS and dropped her hand from the wall to hold the Doctor as he started awake.
"It's OK, it's OK," she whispered.
He focused on the familiar face beside him and Martha felt some of the tension go out of his shoulders under her hands.
"Bad dream?" she asked sympathetically.
"Yes," he answered, rubbing a hand over his face and frowning when he realised how sweaty he was.
"I'll be right back," she said, sliding out of bed and padding over to the bathroom. She came back a moment later with a damp facecloth and a towel. The Doctor lay still as she gently wiped his face and neck with the facecloth, then dried them again.
"Better?" she asked.
"Yes thank you."
Martha took the towel and facecloth back to the bathroom, then came back again. "Do you want to tell me about it?" she asked as she got back into bed, lying on her side to look at the Doctor.
He rubbed a hand across his face and she guessed he was deciding whether to tell her or not. "It was the Trickster," he said finally. "You said Sarah Jane told you about him?"
"She did. Said he was a faceless humanoid dressed in black and that just looking at him, you could sense his malevolence. Which isn't surprising if he didn't have a face." She suppressed a shiver of disquiet, not wanting to distract him.
"He thrives on chaos and disorder: when he took Sarah Jane, a meteor nearly crashed into the Earth because she and her supercomputer weren't there to deflect it."
"I remember," Martha said quietly. "The UNIT top brass were going crazy that day trying to work out a means of stopping it."
He nodded. "When he had me trapped, he threatened to destroy my friends: you, Jack, Sarah Jane, Donna and Rose. He taunted me with the different ways you could each die without me in the Universe. That's what I was dreaming about." He turned eyes darkened by pain to hers and she reached out to cup his cheek.
"It's OK," she whispered, "it didn't happen."
"It did to Donna," he choked.
"Oh Doctor." She pulled him closer, cradling his head against her shoulder as he wept silently. She rubbed a hand between his shoulder blades, trying to comfort him and after a while his tears subsided and he fell asleep again. She lay awake though, thinking over everything that had happened. Martha couldn't help wondering if a small part of his current grief was owing to the fact that Rose had been here again and he'd missed her as she'd immediately gone back to the parallel universe once the Doctor had returned.
He'd been completely dumbfounded when he'd learnt that Rose had been back: Sarah Jane had told him everything that had happened whilst she'd been sitting with the Doctor and Martha was at the hospital with Donna. As far as Martha was concerned, it was a cruel twist of the gods, Fate, the universe or something, that Donna had remained injured after the Time Lines had reverted to normal. If she'd been at all inclined to rail at the universe, then losing Donna in such a way would have had her screaming.
Martha had been relieved when the Doctor had told her that Rose would have no recollection of returning to this universe; she bore the young woman no ill will and would have considered it equally cruel if she had remembered being here whilst the Doctor was gone. She had understood and sympathised with Rose's suspicion about her own presence in the TARDIS, and she'd been very grateful that Sarah Jane and Jack had been around to help deal with the situation.
She closed her eyes, remembering Rose's look of shock when she'd walked into the TARDIS and found Martha, Jack and Sarah Jane but no Doctor. She knew she'd have been wary and suspicious in Rose's shoes; even Jack had needed some persuading that Martha hadn't spirited the Doctor away herself.
Eventually Martha fell asleep again, worn about by emotion and thinking.
* * * * * *
A few days later the Doctor declared himself recovered and since he was fit enough to get about the TARDIS without needing assistance, Martha agreed, so he took them back to London for Donna's funeral. Martha had wondered whether he would go, especially knowing how Donna's grandfather, Wilf, felt about him.
"Martha, it's practically a rule that the families of my companions are hostile towards me," he said when she brought up the subject over breakfast that morning.
"I thought you hated saying goodbye?" she commented as they washed up.
He sighed heavily and she looked up into his thin face. "I do. But Sarah Jane reminded me a little while ago that you humans set a lot of store by it, and besides, I owe it to Donna."
After that she didn't try to persuade him to let her go alone. Instead she changed into her dark suit, remembering when she'd worn it to Cardiff that day she'd gone to help Jack out with the Pharm-related deaths. She wondered if he'd be at Donna's funeral as well, or if the Rift would be keeping him too busy to get away.
The TARDIS materialised at a discreet distance from the church and the two of them stepped out into the street. He'd put on his tux with an ordinary black tie and Martha had overheard him muttering about bad luck, but she hadn't commented on it. She now knew all about the different things that had befallen him whilst he'd been wearing that suit. During the time they'd been in the Vortex waiting for him to heal, he had talked to her at length about the things he'd seen and done since he'd regenerated into his present body. It had started when Martha had asked him to tell her about his first meeting with Donna: she'd heard Donna's side of the story late one night shortly after they'd encountered the Sontarans, but she was interested in hearing his version of events.
After that he had talked about his travels with Donna, then his travels with Rose. Martha had listened with a calm curiosity to those stories: it had somehow seemed a waste of energy to be jealous of Rose now that she'd met her.
"Ready?" Martha asked now, looking up at the Doctor. He gave a brief nod then, to Martha's surprise, took her hand as they walked to the church. They slipped quietly in at the back just before the service started and Martha, glancing around, spotted both Jack and Sarah Jane amongst the other mourners. She also spotted Sylvia and Wilf at the front of the church, and felt a pang of sympathy for the other woman who had lost both her husband and her daughter in such a short space of time.
The Doctor continued to hold Martha's hand through the service and she wondered whether it was for her sake or if it was for his own comfort. She thought about how close they'd been over the last few days: sleeping chastely in the same bed and cuddling up together in the library as the Doctor told her stories of his travels. Still she had told him that he needed some TLC and he appeared to have taken her literally; she hadn't minded: whilst she no longer hankered over him as she had, she still cared deeply about him as a friend.
Martha and the Doctor slipped out of the church ahead of the other mourners and stood off to one side during the interment. Both Jack and Sarah Jane joined them as they stood watching near a small group of trees: Jack stood behind Martha, one hand on her shoulder and one on the Doctor's, whilst Sarah Jane stood on the Doctor's right side, putting her arm around his waist.
As the undertaker and his men lowered Donna's coffin into the grave, Martha gave the Doctor's hand a squeeze, then crossed the grass to speak to Sylvia and Wilf; she and the Doctor had agreed that it would be best if he and Wilf didn't meet as they didn't want to risk causing a scene.
The Doctor watched Martha with a look of pride in his eyes that didn't go unmissed by either of his companions.
"How you doing Doc?" Jack asked quietly as he moved to stand beside the Time Lord.
"I'm alright," he answered, watching Martha intently.
"Are you really?" Sarah Jane asked, knowing his tendency to say he was fine, even if he wasn't.
The Doctor looked at Sarah Jane, then at Jack. "I'm fine," he told them. "Martha's seen to that."
It was on the tip of Jack's tongue to make a joke but Sarah Jane gave him a warning look, so he kept quiet.
"I'm glad Martha was able to stay with you," Sarah Jane said. "I offered but she said Luke needed me."
"Quite right too," the Doctor said, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
"I offered to stay too," Jack said.
"And what did Martha say when she turned you down?" asked the Doctor curiously.
"That you were unlikely to survive my rough handling," Jack answered with a broad grin. "She's grown quite cheeky."
"Wonder who made that happen?" Sarah Jane commented with a smirk.
Jack chuckled, clearly more amused than insulted at the implication in Sarah Jane's words.
They watched as Martha came back, seeing Sylvia and Wilf over her shoulder as they moved away from the grave and headed towards the gate.
"OK?" the Doctor asked Martha anxiously.
"Yeah."
As soon as she was close, he pulled her into a hug, and Jack and Sarah Jane joined them.
"Are you two coming back to the TARDIS?" Martha asked presently. She got two murmurs of agreement, so they turned and set off across the graveyard, pausing for the Doctor to leave a single orchid on Donna's grave before they went out into the street.
Back on the TARDIS Martha and the Doctor left Jack and Sarah Jane to make some lunch whilst they went to change.
"Do you reckon they're sleeping together?" Jack asked Sarah Jane as she buttered bread for sandwiches.
Sarah Jane looked up in surprise from her task. "I don't know, I hadn't given it any thought. Does it matter?"
Jack shrugged as he went on slicing the bread. "Not really. I was just curious. They're certainly closer than when I left them." He finished slicing the bread and sat down next to Sarah Jane. "When I saw her in Cardiff, earlier in the year, Martha said she didn't really miss him and I believed her. I think he's missed her though."
"I can understand that," Sarah Jane said quietly. "I think he misses all of us when we're not around."
"Yeah."
The Doctor and Martha came in before they could pursue the conversation any further. Sarah Jane was secretly relieved: she felt uncomfortable discussing the Doctor's private life, and whilst she loved him dearly, she didn't see that it was any business of hers if he and Martha were sleeping together.
Whilst they ate, they talked of life in Cardiff and Ealing, Jack and Sarah Jane filling in the other two about what they'd been doing since the Trickster had been defeated. Sarah Jane watched Martha and the Doctor covertly, her curiosity aroused by Jack's questions in spite of herself. Martha's tranquil air soon convinced her that there was nothing going on, but she noticed the Time Lord giving the young woman several looks which made her wonder if he now wanted more than companionship from Martha.
Sarah Jane pushed the matter out of her mind as best she could, focusing her attention on the conversation Jack was having with Martha and the Doctor about the Weevils in Cardiff.
"You OK?" Martha asked her a few minutes later. "You sort of tuned out on us just now."
Sarah Jane nodded. "Just thinking about something Jack asked me earlier," she said.
"I hope he wasn't trying to persuade you to go down to Cardiff and join Torchwood?" Martha asked quietly under cover of Jack's louder conversation.
"No, nothing like that," Sarah Jane answered.
"Good. They're nothing like UNIT," Martha confided.
"So I've heard," Sarah Jane said with a smile at Martha's concern.
"Far better you stay here in London," Martha said. "If it hadn't been for you and Mr Smith, I don't know where we'd be now."
"Best not to worry about what-might-have-been," Sarah Jane advised.
The younger woman sighed. "I know. That way madness lies, or something." Sarah Jane clasped Martha's hand briefly and gave her a smile.
* * * * * *
After Jack and Sarah Jane left, Martha went to have a shower. She was startled when she walked out of her en suite bathroom into her room and found the Doctor sitting on her bed, reading a book.
He looked up at her and there was some emotion in his eyes that she couldn't identify. "Hello Martha."
"Hello." She looked at him uncertainly. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I want to talk to you."
She raised an eyebrow. "And you couldn't wait until I was out of the shower and dressed?" she asked wryly.
"Oh!" He blushed. "Sorry. I'll - um - yes, I'll come back in a bit or you can come and find me when you're ready." He stood up quickly, stumbling over his own feet.
Martha stepped forward and pushed him back down onto the bed. "If it's that urgent, stay and talk," she said. "I'll get dressed afterwards." She tucked her bathrobe around her legs and sat down next to him.
The Doctor leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I realised a few days ago that it was time I told you what you mean to me, and how proud I am of how you've grown since we first met. You're stronger, tougher and far more self-confident now than you were then, and you've outgrown your need for me." He looked around to find Martha staring at him in surprise and smiled.
"You outgrew your need for me quite a long time ago," he continued. "Long before you walked out of the TARDIS after that year of walking the world, but I think it took that year to make you realise it." He looked at her thoughtfully. "Did you realise it?"
Martha shook her head. "No. I just knew we couldn't carry on - and that I needed to finish my studies and look after my family. I didn't think about it in terms of me needing you, but of other people needing me."
He nodded. "Do your family still need you?"
Her eyebrows rose. "No, I suppose not. Mum and Dad are back together again properly now: Dad sent Annalise packing about a week after they left the Valiant. Tish has got herself a fella and she's working for a charity as a hot shot fund raiser."
"I'm glad." His tone was sincere and she believed him as she knew that he and her family had managed to forge a friendship aboard the Valiant.
The Doctor looked away. "Would you consider travelling with me again, full time?" He didn't turn around, so he missed the look of astonishment that swept over Martha's face at his question.
"Why me?" she asked. "Why not just find yourself another companion, like you always do?"
"Because I miss you," he said simply, looking around at her finally. "And I want you back in my life."
Martha blew out a sigh. "I'll think about it," she said.
He nodded. "Of course." He turned towards her and held out his arms so she shuffled closer and hugged him.
"You smell nice," he said after a few minutes.
"It's - " Martha was about to answer when the Doctor nuzzled his nose into the side of her neck and she stopped with a gasp of surprise. When she felt his tongue slide across her skin just below her ear, she jerked back and looked at him with wide eyes, her breath coming fast and shallow.
"What are you doing?" she demanded.
"I, um, was tasting your skin," he answered sheepishly.
"Why?"
"Well it smelt so nice, bananas and coconut, and I like bananas, so - " He caught sight of her expression and stopped, feeling flustered. "Sorry."
"You really are an alien, aren't you?" Martha asked.
"Never said I wasn't," he muttered, his eyes downcast as he picked at the duvet cover.
He missed Martha's smirk of amusement until she put a finger under his chin and lifted his face to hers.
"Come here silly." She leant forward and kissed him gently, pressing soft lips against his. She pulled back and smirked again at the flustered look that was back on his face.
"Do that again - please?" he asked, his voice husky and pleading.
She raised an eyebrow at him, then leant forward and kissed him a second time, her right hand sliding into the hair just above the nape of his neck as he clutched at her arms, then her shoulders. The Doctor pulled back and leant his forehead against Martha's, breathing fast.
"Is this OK?" he asked.
Martha chuckled and the Doctor lifted his head to look at her. "I started this, remember? You licked me, but I kissed you. If I wasn't happy about the situation, I'd have slapped you and sent you on your way."
He gave her a rueful smile. "True." He closed his eyes on a fleeting memory of Donna slapping him whenever she'd been unhappy with his behaviour.
Goodbye Donna, he thought sadly, and allowed her memory to rest in his mind.
Martha, unaware of his thoughts, gave him another quick kiss which brought him back to the present, then began unbuttoning his shirt, pulling his tie free and dropping it onto the floor. The Doctor reached out to open her robe but she grabbed his hands. "One of us is currently over-dressed," she said, "so wait your turn."
He gave a soft laugh and let her pull his jacket off, then his shirt, before growing impatient and pulling away to strip off his t-shirt, shoes and socks. He paused with his hands at the fastening of his trousers and looked down at Martha, hesitating.
She got up off the bed and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. "Nervous?"
"A bit," he answered.
She reached down to undo the button and the zip, then slipped her hand inside his trousers to caress him. He gasped at her touch, then reached out and slid his hands inside her bathrobe, eliciting a gasp in return. A moment later they were both naked and on the bed, kissing and touching, before making love with quiet passion.
As they snuggled up together afterwards, Martha lifted her head from the Doctor's chest and looked at him. "My answer is yes," she said.
"Good." He tightened his arms around her for a moment, relieved and pleased. He was still smiling when he fell asleep a few minutes later.
Author: Persiflage_1
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Martha, Donna, Jack, Sarah Jane, TARDIS
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: S4 Casting/Speculation, Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane, TW S2
Summary: Post S4: Martha and the Doctor deal with recent events
Disclaimer: The BBC owns "Doctor Who" and the Doctor owns me…
Author Notes: This fic is for holo_daxy as the title and inspiration for it came from her fanmix "Don't Walk Away", which includes Sway by Bic Runga. The lines To look you in the eye / And let all the things you mean to me / Come tumbling out my mouth indeed it's time caused the Bunny!Muses to hop *really* madly! For this story I've taken some of the many rumours that abound concerning the final three episodes of Season 4, together with known casting information, and pulled them together.
Beta: padawanpooh
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Martha approached the TARDIS with a heavy heart: the last few days had been exhausting, traumatic and chaotic, and despite her previous experience of travelling with the Doctor, dealing with such things didn't get any easier.
She stopped outside the familiar blue box and paused to take a few deep breaths before she unlocked the door. The ship would seem startlingly empty now that everyone else had left: Rose, her mother and Mickey had been returned to the parallel universe at the restoration of the Time Lines; Jack had gone back to his team in Cardiff; Sarah Jane had gone back to her son and their friends in Ealing; and Donna, warm-hearted and brave, was now lying in a hospital mortuary.
Martha had been relieved to be there on her own: the number of people around her over the last few days had been dizzying at times. Trying to deal with three former companions of the Doctor, whilst also trying to help Donna was not her idea of fun. Jack had no recollection of having met her, thanks to the Time Lines reversing; Sarah Jane had been close to frantic with worry, having already encountered the being responsible for taking the Doctor; and Rose had been suspicious of Martha, wary of Sarah Jane (despite having met her before), and all over Jack, which might have been funny in other circumstances, but had been simply annoying in the present situation.
The Doctor had barely made it back to this universe from the weird limbo universe to which the Trickster had taken him, virtually unravelling all of Time in the process, before Donna had succumbed to the injuries she had sustained in the temporal explosion that had occurred when the Time Lord had been removed. Martha's sense of guilt over the fact that she had been safely inside the TARDIS and shielded, whilst Donna had not, was painfully strong but would have to wait. The most important thing she had to do right now was look after the Doctor since he had been injured during his escape from the Trickster.
She let herself into the TARDIS, pulling off her jacket and dropping it over the railing near the console, then made her way through the now-silent corridors to the Doctor's room. She slipped quietly inside, hoping to find him sleeping, but he turned his head as she approached the bed.
"Hey," she said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him.
"Hello." He looked worn out and defeated: worse than he'd ever looked whilst the Master had been tearing her planet apart.
"Did you sleep?" she asked.
"A bit," he answered. "How are you? How's - " He broke off, reading the answer to his unasked question in her face, and swore in Gallifreyan. "How did Donna's family take it."
Martha shrugged. "Much as you'd expect. Sylvia was distraught and Wilf was furious; it's just as well you weren't there, I think he'd have throttled you."
"I think I would have let him," the Doctor answered listlessly.
She reached down and slipped her hand into his as it lay on the bed. "I wouldn't," she said quietly, watching his face. He turned his head away but she saw his eyes were glistening.
"So when are you going?" he asked, changing the subject quickly.
"I'm not."
His head snapped around again, which caused him to wince at the pain. "What?"
"I'm not going, at least not any time soon."
"But what about UNIT?"
"I've arranged to take some time off. I'm entitled to it and Brigadier Bambera agreed that at the moment you need me more than they do."
"I can look after myself." He shifted restlessly.
"Doctor, don't be an idiot" Martha said gently, rubbing her thumb over his knuckles. "If you could look after yourself you wouldn't be lying in bed right now: you'd be bouncing around the Control Room, talking nineteen to the dozen." She could clearly see the tears in his eyes now. "You still need some medical care, and some TLC wouldn't hurt either."
He frowned. "TLC?"
"Tender Loving Care: you need someone to look after you, to make sure you don't do anything rash after everything that's happened."
"I - Thank you." His tone was heartfelt and there was some emotion in his eyes that Martha couldn't immediately identify.
"Are you hungry?" she asked. He nodded. "Then I'll go and sort out a late lunch."
"Before you go, could you - " He paused and Martha raised an eyebrow, noting the faint blush tingeing his cheeks.
"Could I what?" she asked.
"Could you help me to get dressed? I want to get up for a bit. I'm sorry to have to ask, I know you're a trained doctor, not a nurse, but - "
"Doctor, it doesn't matter, I'm your friend, of course I'll help you." She slipped off the bed, then pulled back the bedding and helped him to sit up. Before they'd moved the Doctor from the Med Bay to his room, Jack had dressed him in some pyjamas, probably the same pair she'd seen him wearing at Royal Hope given how little he slept.
Martha moved over to the wardrobe and got out his blue suit and a cream shirt, putting them on the bed, before getting out a t-shirt and some underwear from the chest of drawers. She knelt on the floor and put his socks on, then helped him out of the pyjama top and into the t-shirt and shirt.
"Up you come," she said, helping him to stand up so she could swap his pyjama trousers for his suit ones. She slipped the pyjamas down his legs and helped him to step out of them, then quickly helped him into a pair of boxers. She averted her eyes whilst she got his underwear and trousers on, not wanting to embarrass him. Finally she helped him into his shoes and jacket as well.
"OK?" she asked.
"Yes thanks." He put his arm around her shoulders and allowed her to help him out of his room and up the corridor to the kitchen. Martha couldn't help thinking how lucky it was that the TARDIS was able to rearrange her rooms: it was only a short walk from the Doctor's room to the kitchen.
She settled him in a chair. "What do you want to eat?" she asked, opening cupboard doors.
"Comfort food," he answered.
"OK." She got out bowls and plates, cutlery, glasses and mugs, then set about heating up some of the soup they had in the fridge. She put a loaf of bread on the table and left the Doctor to slice it up whilst she filled the kettle to make hot chocolate. She pulled a bag of marshmallows from a cupboard, knowing he shared her fondness for marshmallows with hot chocolate. Finally she found the cake tin with the other half of the rich fruit cake that her mum had made and that she'd brought with her when she'd rejoined the Doctor and Donna a few days ago.
They ate in silence, Martha weary after the long night at the hospital and the Doctor tired from the effort of getting up.
"Do you want to go back to bed?" she asked after they finished their hot chocolate and marshmallows.
"I want to go to the Control Room first," the Doctor answered.
"Let me do the washing up then."
He watched Martha as she worked, noting the slump in her shoulders and the lethargy in her movements. He closed his eyes, remembering how tired she'd been after her year walking the world, and wondered what he had done to deserve her continued support and friendship. She'd come a long way from the wide-eyed medical student he'd met at the hospital: she was stronger, tougher and far more self-confident. The Year That Never Was had changed her, but so had working for UNIT. He was immensely proud of the way she had out-grown him and he wondered if she realised that he now needed her far more than she needed him. Regardless, he was going to tell her soon. It was even more important now than ever before that she knew these things.
He heard the sound of water being poured away and opened his eyes again to see Martha drying her hands. She hung up the towel then crossed to the Doctor's side and helped him to his feet. He was healing faster than a human being, but the injuries he'd received battling the Trickster in his attempt to return to this universe would continue to trouble him for several days at least. They slowly made their way to the Control Room, the Doctor leaning heavily on Martha, despite his best attempts to support himself.
They made their way over to the Captain's chair and Martha settled him there to rest and catch his breath. She instinctively knew he wanted to be at the console, but they both needed to rest first. It was lucky that he was so skinny, she reflected, or she'd never have been able to support his weight.
The Doctor shifted restlessly, so Martha got up and led him across to the console, holding him steady as he ran his long fingers across the buttons, switches and levers, murmuring quietly in Gallifreyan to his ship.
"I want to move her into the Vortex," he said.
Martha quirked an eyebrow as she looked up into his face. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked. "I've seen the way you dash around the console normally and, not to put too fine a point on it, you can barely stand up, even with my support."
"That's why you're going to do it," he answered.
"Me?!" She looked at him in disbelief. "I can't pilot the TARDIS."
"You can, with our help."
"Can't it wait?"
"It could, but I will heal quicker once we're out of space and time. The TARDIS can draw power from the Vortex and use it to help me to recover."
"Oh!" She chewed her thumb absent-mindedly as she thought about it. "OK. What do I have to do?"
"I need to link you to the TARDIS telepathically so she can guide you."
She nodded and he put his hands to her temples, just as she'd seen him do with Peter Street so long ago. She closed her eyes and a moment later she had an image of the Doctor, looking much more like his usual energetic self, in her mind, along with an image of the TARDIS console.
I will show you the sequence you need to follow to operate the TARDIS, he told her. She sent her agreement and he slowly took her through the sequence twice. OK?
Got it, she said. She felt his hands leave her face and opened her eyes quickly, then helped him over to the seat again, seeing how drained he looked. "Hold tight."
He grasped the seat tightly and she moved back to the console, then closed her eyes and allowed the TARDIS to enter her mind so that she could watch what Martha was doing. It was a slightly odd sensation, but not uncomfortable, and she felt the TARDIS' warm approval as she moved around the console pressing buttons, flicking switches and turning dials. Finally she closed down the Gravitic Anomalyser, fired up the Helmic Regulator, then hit the handbrake. The next moment her eyes snapped open as the familiar sound of the TARDIS dematerialising filled the Control Room.
She turned to the Doctor, a look of pure delight filling her face and he gave her a tired yet pleased smile.
"Well done," he said hoarsely.
"Bed for you now, mister," she told him and he gave her a tired nod.
"Could do with a nap," he agreed.
Martha helped him up from his seat and led him down the corridor. To her relief the TARDIS had again swapped the rooms around for the convenience of her Time Lord and they didn't have far to go to reach the Doctor's bedroom. She guided him over to the bed, then pulled back the covers. He sat down heavily.
"I think we'll just get your shoes and jacket off, don't you?" she suggested and he nodded wearily, so she helped him out of his jacket, then pulled off his red Converse.
He started to fumble with his shirt buttons, so she quickly undid them and helped him out of that too. She moved his clothes onto a chair, then helped him to get comfortable: she was suddenly reminded of putting Leo to bed when he was little and decided not to share that thought with the Doctor.
"Do you want me to stay?" she asked, sitting down by his knees.
"Yes please." He looked up at her. "You look like you could use a nap too," he said.
She nodded. "I'll borrow your chair, if you don't mind?"
"We could share the bed," he suggested quietly. "Wouldn't be the first time."
She hesitated, remembering the first time they'd shared a bed, back in Shakespeare's day, and hearing the echo of the Doctor's words in her head. He looked up at her and guessed the reason for her hesitation.
"It'll just be you and me," he said. "No ghosts."
"OK." She pulled off her boots and sat down again, yawning.
"Borrow my pyjamas, if you don't want to go and get your own, you'll be more comfortable than sleeping in your jeans."
"Thanks." She picked up his discarded pyjamas and went through into his bathroom to change; they were too big but she was too tired to bother going to find a pair of her own. As she pulled them on, she remembered the first time she'd seen the Doctor in them, all mischievous smiles and little winks as she'd discovered his second heartbeat and tried to work out how he'd been out in the street but also, apparently, in a bed at the Royal Hope. She'd been intrigued and captivated from that moment on. She rolled the sleeves of the top up so that they weren't dangling over her hands and paused to lift one to inhale the scent: oranges, cinnamon and something indefinable that reminded Martha of the TARDIS, which she thought of as the scent of Time, tickled her nose. She finished turning up the sleeves, then turned up the trouser legs too since she didn't want to trip over them. I really should have gone and got my pyjamas, she thought ruefully.
The Doctor couldn't help smiling when Martha walked back into his room; she looked a bit like an orphan in his too-big sleepwear. She caught his smile and echoed it, dropping her clothes on top of his before climbing up into the bed beside him. He slid his arm around her, so she turned onto her side and draped her left arm across his torso.
"This is nice," he said sleepily.
"Yes it is," she answered, because truthfully it was both a comfort and a relief to be with someone else right now.
They both feel asleep quickly, worn out by recent events, but soothed by the TARDIS' familiar hum.
Martha wasn't sure how long they'd slept when the Doctor woke her, crying out in the grip of a nightmare. When she opened her eyes she saw his face was beaded with sweat, a grimace of pain and anger twisting his features. She reached out and shook his shoulder but he only cried out again. Still holding the Doctor, Martha reached her other hand to the wall and spoke to the TARDIS in her mind, sensing the ship's connection was still there from earlier.
I can't wake him, you'll have to do it, she told the ship. She felt a hum of acquiescence from the TARDIS and dropped her hand from the wall to hold the Doctor as he started awake.
"It's OK, it's OK," she whispered.
He focused on the familiar face beside him and Martha felt some of the tension go out of his shoulders under her hands.
"Bad dream?" she asked sympathetically.
"Yes," he answered, rubbing a hand over his face and frowning when he realised how sweaty he was.
"I'll be right back," she said, sliding out of bed and padding over to the bathroom. She came back a moment later with a damp facecloth and a towel. The Doctor lay still as she gently wiped his face and neck with the facecloth, then dried them again.
"Better?" she asked.
"Yes thank you."
Martha took the towel and facecloth back to the bathroom, then came back again. "Do you want to tell me about it?" she asked as she got back into bed, lying on her side to look at the Doctor.
He rubbed a hand across his face and she guessed he was deciding whether to tell her or not. "It was the Trickster," he said finally. "You said Sarah Jane told you about him?"
"She did. Said he was a faceless humanoid dressed in black and that just looking at him, you could sense his malevolence. Which isn't surprising if he didn't have a face." She suppressed a shiver of disquiet, not wanting to distract him.
"He thrives on chaos and disorder: when he took Sarah Jane, a meteor nearly crashed into the Earth because she and her supercomputer weren't there to deflect it."
"I remember," Martha said quietly. "The UNIT top brass were going crazy that day trying to work out a means of stopping it."
He nodded. "When he had me trapped, he threatened to destroy my friends: you, Jack, Sarah Jane, Donna and Rose. He taunted me with the different ways you could each die without me in the Universe. That's what I was dreaming about." He turned eyes darkened by pain to hers and she reached out to cup his cheek.
"It's OK," she whispered, "it didn't happen."
"It did to Donna," he choked.
"Oh Doctor." She pulled him closer, cradling his head against her shoulder as he wept silently. She rubbed a hand between his shoulder blades, trying to comfort him and after a while his tears subsided and he fell asleep again. She lay awake though, thinking over everything that had happened. Martha couldn't help wondering if a small part of his current grief was owing to the fact that Rose had been here again and he'd missed her as she'd immediately gone back to the parallel universe once the Doctor had returned.
He'd been completely dumbfounded when he'd learnt that Rose had been back: Sarah Jane had told him everything that had happened whilst she'd been sitting with the Doctor and Martha was at the hospital with Donna. As far as Martha was concerned, it was a cruel twist of the gods, Fate, the universe or something, that Donna had remained injured after the Time Lines had reverted to normal. If she'd been at all inclined to rail at the universe, then losing Donna in such a way would have had her screaming.
Martha had been relieved when the Doctor had told her that Rose would have no recollection of returning to this universe; she bore the young woman no ill will and would have considered it equally cruel if she had remembered being here whilst the Doctor was gone. She had understood and sympathised with Rose's suspicion about her own presence in the TARDIS, and she'd been very grateful that Sarah Jane and Jack had been around to help deal with the situation.
She closed her eyes, remembering Rose's look of shock when she'd walked into the TARDIS and found Martha, Jack and Sarah Jane but no Doctor. She knew she'd have been wary and suspicious in Rose's shoes; even Jack had needed some persuading that Martha hadn't spirited the Doctor away herself.
Eventually Martha fell asleep again, worn about by emotion and thinking.
* * * * * *
A few days later the Doctor declared himself recovered and since he was fit enough to get about the TARDIS without needing assistance, Martha agreed, so he took them back to London for Donna's funeral. Martha had wondered whether he would go, especially knowing how Donna's grandfather, Wilf, felt about him.
"Martha, it's practically a rule that the families of my companions are hostile towards me," he said when she brought up the subject over breakfast that morning.
"I thought you hated saying goodbye?" she commented as they washed up.
He sighed heavily and she looked up into his thin face. "I do. But Sarah Jane reminded me a little while ago that you humans set a lot of store by it, and besides, I owe it to Donna."
After that she didn't try to persuade him to let her go alone. Instead she changed into her dark suit, remembering when she'd worn it to Cardiff that day she'd gone to help Jack out with the Pharm-related deaths. She wondered if he'd be at Donna's funeral as well, or if the Rift would be keeping him too busy to get away.
The TARDIS materialised at a discreet distance from the church and the two of them stepped out into the street. He'd put on his tux with an ordinary black tie and Martha had overheard him muttering about bad luck, but she hadn't commented on it. She now knew all about the different things that had befallen him whilst he'd been wearing that suit. During the time they'd been in the Vortex waiting for him to heal, he had talked to her at length about the things he'd seen and done since he'd regenerated into his present body. It had started when Martha had asked him to tell her about his first meeting with Donna: she'd heard Donna's side of the story late one night shortly after they'd encountered the Sontarans, but she was interested in hearing his version of events.
After that he had talked about his travels with Donna, then his travels with Rose. Martha had listened with a calm curiosity to those stories: it had somehow seemed a waste of energy to be jealous of Rose now that she'd met her.
"Ready?" Martha asked now, looking up at the Doctor. He gave a brief nod then, to Martha's surprise, took her hand as they walked to the church. They slipped quietly in at the back just before the service started and Martha, glancing around, spotted both Jack and Sarah Jane amongst the other mourners. She also spotted Sylvia and Wilf at the front of the church, and felt a pang of sympathy for the other woman who had lost both her husband and her daughter in such a short space of time.
The Doctor continued to hold Martha's hand through the service and she wondered whether it was for her sake or if it was for his own comfort. She thought about how close they'd been over the last few days: sleeping chastely in the same bed and cuddling up together in the library as the Doctor told her stories of his travels. Still she had told him that he needed some TLC and he appeared to have taken her literally; she hadn't minded: whilst she no longer hankered over him as she had, she still cared deeply about him as a friend.
Martha and the Doctor slipped out of the church ahead of the other mourners and stood off to one side during the interment. Both Jack and Sarah Jane joined them as they stood watching near a small group of trees: Jack stood behind Martha, one hand on her shoulder and one on the Doctor's, whilst Sarah Jane stood on the Doctor's right side, putting her arm around his waist.
As the undertaker and his men lowered Donna's coffin into the grave, Martha gave the Doctor's hand a squeeze, then crossed the grass to speak to Sylvia and Wilf; she and the Doctor had agreed that it would be best if he and Wilf didn't meet as they didn't want to risk causing a scene.
The Doctor watched Martha with a look of pride in his eyes that didn't go unmissed by either of his companions.
"How you doing Doc?" Jack asked quietly as he moved to stand beside the Time Lord.
"I'm alright," he answered, watching Martha intently.
"Are you really?" Sarah Jane asked, knowing his tendency to say he was fine, even if he wasn't.
The Doctor looked at Sarah Jane, then at Jack. "I'm fine," he told them. "Martha's seen to that."
It was on the tip of Jack's tongue to make a joke but Sarah Jane gave him a warning look, so he kept quiet.
"I'm glad Martha was able to stay with you," Sarah Jane said. "I offered but she said Luke needed me."
"Quite right too," the Doctor said, dropping a kiss on her forehead.
"I offered to stay too," Jack said.
"And what did Martha say when she turned you down?" asked the Doctor curiously.
"That you were unlikely to survive my rough handling," Jack answered with a broad grin. "She's grown quite cheeky."
"Wonder who made that happen?" Sarah Jane commented with a smirk.
Jack chuckled, clearly more amused than insulted at the implication in Sarah Jane's words.
They watched as Martha came back, seeing Sylvia and Wilf over her shoulder as they moved away from the grave and headed towards the gate.
"OK?" the Doctor asked Martha anxiously.
"Yeah."
As soon as she was close, he pulled her into a hug, and Jack and Sarah Jane joined them.
"Are you two coming back to the TARDIS?" Martha asked presently. She got two murmurs of agreement, so they turned and set off across the graveyard, pausing for the Doctor to leave a single orchid on Donna's grave before they went out into the street.
Back on the TARDIS Martha and the Doctor left Jack and Sarah Jane to make some lunch whilst they went to change.
"Do you reckon they're sleeping together?" Jack asked Sarah Jane as she buttered bread for sandwiches.
Sarah Jane looked up in surprise from her task. "I don't know, I hadn't given it any thought. Does it matter?"
Jack shrugged as he went on slicing the bread. "Not really. I was just curious. They're certainly closer than when I left them." He finished slicing the bread and sat down next to Sarah Jane. "When I saw her in Cardiff, earlier in the year, Martha said she didn't really miss him and I believed her. I think he's missed her though."
"I can understand that," Sarah Jane said quietly. "I think he misses all of us when we're not around."
"Yeah."
The Doctor and Martha came in before they could pursue the conversation any further. Sarah Jane was secretly relieved: she felt uncomfortable discussing the Doctor's private life, and whilst she loved him dearly, she didn't see that it was any business of hers if he and Martha were sleeping together.
Whilst they ate, they talked of life in Cardiff and Ealing, Jack and Sarah Jane filling in the other two about what they'd been doing since the Trickster had been defeated. Sarah Jane watched Martha and the Doctor covertly, her curiosity aroused by Jack's questions in spite of herself. Martha's tranquil air soon convinced her that there was nothing going on, but she noticed the Time Lord giving the young woman several looks which made her wonder if he now wanted more than companionship from Martha.
Sarah Jane pushed the matter out of her mind as best she could, focusing her attention on the conversation Jack was having with Martha and the Doctor about the Weevils in Cardiff.
"You OK?" Martha asked her a few minutes later. "You sort of tuned out on us just now."
Sarah Jane nodded. "Just thinking about something Jack asked me earlier," she said.
"I hope he wasn't trying to persuade you to go down to Cardiff and join Torchwood?" Martha asked quietly under cover of Jack's louder conversation.
"No, nothing like that," Sarah Jane answered.
"Good. They're nothing like UNIT," Martha confided.
"So I've heard," Sarah Jane said with a smile at Martha's concern.
"Far better you stay here in London," Martha said. "If it hadn't been for you and Mr Smith, I don't know where we'd be now."
"Best not to worry about what-might-have-been," Sarah Jane advised.
The younger woman sighed. "I know. That way madness lies, or something." Sarah Jane clasped Martha's hand briefly and gave her a smile.
* * * * * *
After Jack and Sarah Jane left, Martha went to have a shower. She was startled when she walked out of her en suite bathroom into her room and found the Doctor sitting on her bed, reading a book.
He looked up at her and there was some emotion in his eyes that she couldn't identify. "Hello Martha."
"Hello." She looked at him uncertainly. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I want to talk to you."
She raised an eyebrow. "And you couldn't wait until I was out of the shower and dressed?" she asked wryly.
"Oh!" He blushed. "Sorry. I'll - um - yes, I'll come back in a bit or you can come and find me when you're ready." He stood up quickly, stumbling over his own feet.
Martha stepped forward and pushed him back down onto the bed. "If it's that urgent, stay and talk," she said. "I'll get dressed afterwards." She tucked her bathrobe around her legs and sat down next to him.
The Doctor leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I realised a few days ago that it was time I told you what you mean to me, and how proud I am of how you've grown since we first met. You're stronger, tougher and far more self-confident now than you were then, and you've outgrown your need for me." He looked around to find Martha staring at him in surprise and smiled.
"You outgrew your need for me quite a long time ago," he continued. "Long before you walked out of the TARDIS after that year of walking the world, but I think it took that year to make you realise it." He looked at her thoughtfully. "Did you realise it?"
Martha shook her head. "No. I just knew we couldn't carry on - and that I needed to finish my studies and look after my family. I didn't think about it in terms of me needing you, but of other people needing me."
He nodded. "Do your family still need you?"
Her eyebrows rose. "No, I suppose not. Mum and Dad are back together again properly now: Dad sent Annalise packing about a week after they left the Valiant. Tish has got herself a fella and she's working for a charity as a hot shot fund raiser."
"I'm glad." His tone was sincere and she believed him as she knew that he and her family had managed to forge a friendship aboard the Valiant.
The Doctor looked away. "Would you consider travelling with me again, full time?" He didn't turn around, so he missed the look of astonishment that swept over Martha's face at his question.
"Why me?" she asked. "Why not just find yourself another companion, like you always do?"
"Because I miss you," he said simply, looking around at her finally. "And I want you back in my life."
Martha blew out a sigh. "I'll think about it," she said.
He nodded. "Of course." He turned towards her and held out his arms so she shuffled closer and hugged him.
"You smell nice," he said after a few minutes.
"It's - " Martha was about to answer when the Doctor nuzzled his nose into the side of her neck and she stopped with a gasp of surprise. When she felt his tongue slide across her skin just below her ear, she jerked back and looked at him with wide eyes, her breath coming fast and shallow.
"What are you doing?" she demanded.
"I, um, was tasting your skin," he answered sheepishly.
"Why?"
"Well it smelt so nice, bananas and coconut, and I like bananas, so - " He caught sight of her expression and stopped, feeling flustered. "Sorry."
"You really are an alien, aren't you?" Martha asked.
"Never said I wasn't," he muttered, his eyes downcast as he picked at the duvet cover.
He missed Martha's smirk of amusement until she put a finger under his chin and lifted his face to hers.
"Come here silly." She leant forward and kissed him gently, pressing soft lips against his. She pulled back and smirked again at the flustered look that was back on his face.
"Do that again - please?" he asked, his voice husky and pleading.
She raised an eyebrow at him, then leant forward and kissed him a second time, her right hand sliding into the hair just above the nape of his neck as he clutched at her arms, then her shoulders. The Doctor pulled back and leant his forehead against Martha's, breathing fast.
"Is this OK?" he asked.
Martha chuckled and the Doctor lifted his head to look at her. "I started this, remember? You licked me, but I kissed you. If I wasn't happy about the situation, I'd have slapped you and sent you on your way."
He gave her a rueful smile. "True." He closed his eyes on a fleeting memory of Donna slapping him whenever she'd been unhappy with his behaviour.
Goodbye Donna, he thought sadly, and allowed her memory to rest in his mind.
Martha, unaware of his thoughts, gave him another quick kiss which brought him back to the present, then began unbuttoning his shirt, pulling his tie free and dropping it onto the floor. The Doctor reached out to open her robe but she grabbed his hands. "One of us is currently over-dressed," she said, "so wait your turn."
He gave a soft laugh and let her pull his jacket off, then his shirt, before growing impatient and pulling away to strip off his t-shirt, shoes and socks. He paused with his hands at the fastening of his trousers and looked down at Martha, hesitating.
She got up off the bed and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. "Nervous?"
"A bit," he answered.
She reached down to undo the button and the zip, then slipped her hand inside his trousers to caress him. He gasped at her touch, then reached out and slid his hands inside her bathrobe, eliciting a gasp in return. A moment later they were both naked and on the bed, kissing and touching, before making love with quiet passion.
As they snuggled up together afterwards, Martha lifted her head from the Doctor's chest and looked at him. "My answer is yes," she said.
"Good." He tightened his arms around her for a moment, relieved and pleased. He was still smiling when he fell asleep a few minutes later.