FIC- Lies for love Part One
Title: Lies for love
Pairing: Thirteen/Cameron, Thirteen/Cuddy
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Pretty much zilch. This is set at the beginning of Season 5 when House has his new team but contains nothing about them specific to episodes.
Disclaimer: I own... nada.
Summary: Thirteen can't remain faithful and risks losing everything that matters to her.
A/N: I don't know what possessed me to write this as to be honest, I'm not that keen on Thirteen/Cameron. There isn't anything about Huntington's in this fic... so many Thirteen fics revolve around that and I wanted to write something angsty for a different reason. It's a multi-chapter fic and the idea wouldn't leave me alone. I kinda felt like I should write something as I haven't for a long time and I am now in charge of this community. So here goes nothing... hope you like. :)
The italic sections are flashbacks.
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1.
“This has to stop,” Thirteen stated firmly, unable to hold her silence any longer and pulling away from her lover. She just... she couldn’t do this anymore. She’d thought it was a bad idea from the start but somehow now; it looked even worse. Felt even worse. Ever since...
“What has?” Cameron trailed a finger along Thirteen’s clavicle, blue eyes innocently gazing up at her. Blue eyes that no matter how much Thirteen admired, or thought were pretty, gorgeous, weren’t the eyes she really wanted or the eyes she thought were beautiful.
Thirteen looked down, forcing herself to focus on Cameron before saying resolutely, “Us.”
**
She was trying to be quiet, not wanting to wake her girlfriend up. It was gone three in the morning and she’d promised to be back before midnight but being the selfish person that she was, she’d ignored the ticking clock and put her pledge to the back of her mind. She’d spent the past few hours grinding against Cameron between the expensive hotel sheets, the hotel being the only place they’d ever had sex ever since that first risky time in Thirteen’s apartment. She’d regretted taking Cameron there the moment she woke up in the morning, knowing that she had sex with her girlfriend in her bed.
From then on, she’d never fucked in her apartment. Not with Cameron; not with... not with...
She shut the front door quietly. Hopefully Thirteen would be able to sneak into the bedroom and crawl into bed without any confrontation taking place. Her head was fuzzy, her world spinning, and it was with great difficulty that she tugged off her knee length black leather boots. The sound of the zip coming undone and the creaking as she pushed them to the corner were the only noise breaking the silence.
Standing back up, she padded into the bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind her. She allowed her jeans to drop to the floor, and discarding her black vest so that she now just wore a strapless bra and panties, she shivered slightly. Tiptoeing to the bed, she easily slid underneath the duvet and sheets watching for signs of movement from the figure next to her. She waited a few seconds, and then confident that she’d gotten away with being far too late she sighed, her eyes fluttering shut, face falling into the pillow; exhausted.
“Rems?” Her eyes flew open as the silence was broken by a questioning tone.
Apprehensive about what was going to happen but knowing that there was no escape, she replied, “Hi.”
Some shuffling. “Where’ve you been?”
“Got held up. Sorry, House had us brainstorming way longer than I thought he would,” she lied, praying she wouldn’t be found out in the morning.
“S’ok. I just wish you’d called,” An arm snaked around Thirteen’s waist, the heat emanating from it contrasting with the coolness of her own skin. “God; you’re freezing.”
“Yeah,” Thirteen agreed, slightly more relaxed now she was almost positive this wasn’t going to turn into an argument.
“Come here.”
Thirteen stiffened as the arm pulled her further over to the left side of the bed so that her back was now pressed against soft, warm breasts, making her feel even more guilty at the concern for her that she didn’t deserve.
Guilt that only served to increase when she heard the words that she’d not heard in the entire three months they’d been dating. “I love you, Remy.”
She swallowed, numbly staring into the darkness in front of her, as she replied, “I love you too, Lisa.”
**
Thirteen immediately sensed the change in the atmosphere.
“What do you mean? Are you breaking up with me?” The blonde demanded.
Thirteen sighed, aware that this was going to be difficult. “We were never together in the first place, Cameron. I have a girlfriend; you know that. I can’t do this to her anymore, she means too much to me. If she found out... well it doesn’t bear thinking about.”
“Didn’t stop you from fucking me though, did it?” Cameron shot at her.
“I’m sorry,” Thirteen apologised, sincerely meaning her words. “I shouldn’t be doing this. But it’s just... just sex. Nothing more.”
“So what, I’m supposed to just accept your decision? I don’t get a say in this?” Cameron rose up so that she was now the one looking down.
“There’s nothing to have a say about. I don’t want this; not anymore. I’ve hated what I’m doing from the very beginning.”
“Really? ‘Cuz your body language tells a different story. At least, it was five minutes ago when you were arched against me, begging me to go harder,” Cameron hissed.
Thirteen pulled herself up, began picking up her clothes from the floor to dress. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry, but this isn’t going to happen again.”
Cameron seemed to accept Thirteen’s words, if only for the few minutes it took Thirteen to get dressed and locate her car keys. A pause. And then, “Why?”
“Why what?” Thirteen sighed.
“Why have you been sleeping with me, if she means so much to you?” Cameron was evidently not going to let this drop, making it hard for Thirteen.
Thirteen had no answer.
**
“Morning baby.”
Thirteen blinked at the sunlight as she tried to open her eyes, feeling a gentle kiss pressed against her cheek. She felt her heart flutter at the simple human contact, and she smiled involuntarily, placing a hand on the back of Cuddy’s head and pressing their noses together, nuzzling her gently.
Cuddy smiled. “What are you doing?”
“Eskimo kiss,” Thirteen replied huskily, her voice lower than normal as she’d just woken up. “Didn’t think you’d appreciate morning breath.”
Cuddy laughed. “How thoughtful of you. And in a weird way... kind of cute.”
“Does my cuteness mean that we don’t have to go to work today?” Thirteen tried.
“No!” Cuddy exclaimed, ever the boss. “Now get up or you’ll be late.”
“Oooh, that means I get reprimanded in your office right? Are you going to make me bend over your lap so you can spank me?” Thirteen teased, eyes open. They always travelled to work separately, their relationship still under wraps. The only person that knew was Cameron; and even she’d found out by mistake. It was the third or fourth time they’d fucked and without thinking, without even realising until Cameron had pointed it out, Thirteen had called out Cuddy’s name during sex. Needless to say, it didn’t take a genius for Cameron to work out who “Lisa” was. Now that she looked back with hindsight, Thirteen supposed she could have pretended to have just been fantasizing about the boss, but it was too late for what ifs; the secret had been revealed.
Cuddy rolled her eyes. “I’ve told you; no office sex. Get up,” She commanded.
“Yes, Mistress,” Thirteen winked, putting Cameron out of her mind. She couldn’t bear to think about her at the moment, knowing that something had to change. Cuddy’s admission of love last night transformed everything; including Thirteen’s furtive rendezvous’ with Cameron. She didn’t want to lie to Cuddy anymore; she wanted to make a go of their relationship. This was her one chance to be happy with Cuddy and in order for that to happen; Cameron had to be taken out of the equation.
**
“She told me she loved me,” Thirteen confessed, a small part of her truly wanting Cameron to understand.
Cameron frowned. “Cuddy? And you said...?” She was calmer now.
Thirteen sat on the edge of the bed. “I told her I loved her too. I thought I’d be too scared to say it, but it felt so natural... and I meant it. That’s why this can’t happen anymore. I love her, Cameron. I really really love her. If I lost her because of this; I don’t know what I’d do.”
Cameron nodded, remaining silent. Thirteen guessed she was processing her thoughts. Sooner than expected she asked, “Before you... what, you didn’t love her?”
“I didn’t not love her,” Thirteen shrugged her shoulders. “I just didn’t realise that I did love her.”
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