Title: What A World
Author: Pepper
Wordcount: 776
Rating: Well, hm - let's say PG-13.
Featured Character(s): Teal'c, Jack, Sam, Daniel.
Pairing(s): None
Summary: From the look on Colonel O'Neill's face, Sam and Daniel assumed that the theatre trip hadn't gone well.
A/N:
redial_the_gate has hit 200 watchers! *throws party*
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From the look on Colonel O'Neill's face, Sam and Daniel assumed that the theatre trip to New York, to see Wicked (the "Untold Story of the Witches of Oz", Jack had explained, with disturbing enthusiasm), hadn't gone well. Daniel opened his mouth, but Jack shot him a glare.
"Don't ask," he said, shortly, and swept past.
Teal'c came in a moment later, looking as unperturbed as ever. "I have brought you some gifts."
Sam took the bright green T-shirt he handed her, shook it out, and raised her eyebrows at the words printed across it. "'Defying gravity'? Er..." She glanced down to where the words would be displayed, if she wore it. "Thanks, Teal'c," she said, dubiously.
"It comes from the song which closed the first act," explained Teal'c. "The song was about taking risks, in order to find one's dreams. The Witch decides not to let ordinary ideas about what is possible hold her back - she takes her broomstick, and teaches herself to fly. I thought it appropriate for you, as you have not allowed accepted knowledge to prevent you from accomplishing the seemingly impossible on many occasions."
Sam gave him a genuine smile. "Aw, Teal'c - thank you, that's really sweet!" She held it out in front of her, and smirked. "Plus maybe I can give Simmons a heart attack," she said, wickedly.
Teal'c smiled. "There is also that aspect."
"And mine?" asked Daniel, holding up a pink, glittering wand. "What's this for?" He'd been doubtful, but Sam's T-shirt had a good explanation.
"I thought it would be amusing," said Teal'c, tranquilly.
"...Oh."
Sam snorted, and Daniel shot her a dark look. She shrugged, grinning even more broadly. "Sorry. You know... you really look like Harry Potter." Daniel stuck out his tongue. "Had a good time, then?" Sam asked Teal'c, diplomatically changing the subject.
"Indeed. It was a most enjoyable musical. I much preferred it to the film that O'Neill insists we watch every Christmas."
"Maybe you should read the book?" suggested Daniel. "Or books, I should say - I seem to remember there's several by the original author, and I'm fairly sure I've seen someone reading the book of the musical." He looked thoughtful. "It might've been Siler..."
"Perhaps I shall ask him."
"So what was that about?" asked Daniel, waving his wand in the direction that Jack had stormed off.
Teal'c lifted his head slightly. "I believe O'Neill felt that he had been insulted," he said, thoughtfully. "There are many stereotypes within your culture, are there not, about men who are 'friends with Dorothy'?"
"Friends of..." Daniel began to correct him, and then stopped. "Oh. Er."
Sam cleared her throat, uncomfortably. "Someone... said something?" Beyond the rudeness, she hadn't thought that would particularly have annoyed the Colonel - it wasn't like he concealed his love for the Wizard of Oz, and, in the environment they worked in, no doubt he'd been teased about it before. She'd thought it hadn't bothered him if people speculated about his sexuality. It was kind of disappointing to find out otherwise.
"He was not bothered by the assumption that he was homosexual," Teal'c reassured her.
Sam and Daniel exchanged puzzled looks. "So..." asked Daniel, hesitantly, "what set him off?"
Teal'c put his hands behind his back, and again studied the ceiling with apparently great interest. Fortunately for Sam and Daniel, they'd long since learned to read Teal'c. He was extremely amused. "The couple behind us in the theatre were speculating about myself and O'Neill," he explained, "apparently under the illusion that we could not hear them. They were discussing who was likely to be the 'sub' in our relationship. From the context, and from O'Neill's reaction, I understood this to mean the..." Teal'c paused, searching for the right word, "subservient partner, am I correct?"
"Something like that," agreed Daniel, in a choked voice. Sam put her hand over her mouth, eyes dancing.
"Their conclusion was that it would be-"
"TEAL'C!"
They all jumped - even Teal'c - at the Colonel's yell. He stood in the doorway, fuming. "I thought I told you never to talk about it! Especially with those two!"
Sam was desperately trying to keep a straight face - and failing, dismally. Daniel simply wasn't trying. Teal'c looked coolly back. "O'Neill... be SILENT."
Jack gaped at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but apparently couldn't think of a comeback of sufficient acidity. He snapped his mouth shut, turned sharply on his heel, and stalked off. Every stomp was an expression of his outrage.
Teal'c turned back to Sam and Daniel, who were clinging together, helpless with laughter. "He must learn his place," he explained, with magnificent aplomb.
They only wailed.
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END.