Por si éramos pocos by Belenuski - Chapter 12 (Part 5)
Title: Por si éramos pocos by Belenuski
Rating: PG-13
NB: I'm baaaack with this story. Finally, I know. ;-) Have at it!
Noah was taken out of the car in her mother’s arms, and as soon as she was put down on the ground, she took off running to the inside of the school. She pushed Dani playfully, and when he saw her, he smiled and pulled her inside the classroom. Silvia stood watching all the other children walk inside, some smiling like her daughter, others tearing up. She shrugged her shoulders thinking about how many things had changed in the last two years and shook her head at the drastic changes her daughter had gone through. The girl, at two years old, had hid in the bathtub, kicking and crying all the way into the nursery. It always made her heart clench to see Noah like that, but then she would get into the car, with Pepa at her side, and the discomfort would disappear. It always disappeared.
She checked the time: nine o’clock.
“Is this weight ever going to be lifted off my chest?” She questioned aloud.
On the one hand, she wanted things to be the way they were, and on the other, she didn’t. She was starting to miss Pepa again. It had only been in fits and starts since she had David, and he, between kisses and conversations, helped her to forget her ex-wife occasionally. But David would be gone six months, and it seemed that Pepa planned on storming back into her life now that she had no one to hide behind.
She sighed, shaking her head.
“No, Silvia, whether David’s here or not, if Pepa appears, there’s no one who could hide you from her.”
She started the car and drove down the streets of Madrid at a slow pace with the window open, enjoying the early morning breeze. The temperature was now bearable with a simple cardigan and, as April was about to start, the trees were starting to show some of their colorful flowers although they could only be seen if you left the car and walked out front of Paloma Park. She looked back inside the car and saw the time: ten o’clock, she had been driving very slowly.
Silvia got comfortable in the seat and pulled both the paper and the little box out of her purse.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” she said, as if saying it aloud would give her the courage to start the car and leave. “I really shouldn’t.”
She finally got out of the car, locked it, and walked inside the park. She noted the ducks, the tranquility amongst the older people taking a walk, as well as the adults running through the park, using it as a shortcut. There weren’t any children to be seen since they were all at school. And she should’ve been at work, but what happened with Noah at the station had given her a week off.
“You came,” she heard from behind, startling her.
She turned as saw Pepa looking calm, her hands in the pockets of her unbuttoned jacket.
“I wasn’t going to come.”
Pepa smiled.
“Then you wouldn’t get the key.”
“Pepa, what game are you playing?”
It was a serious question, delivered flatly. They would speak, but not more than necessary. Although Silvia was initially excited by the messages, when she saw Pepa looking at her with that beautiful smile, she knew she had made a mistake.
“Here,” Pepa held out a small key. “Before I tell you anything, I want you to open the box. It’s the most important part.”
Silvia sighed. She realized that there was nobody around them, and she really needed a distraction at that moment. She put her hand out in the air and Pepa delicately gave her the key, letting their fingers brush.
She had made a mistake, a huge mistake coming to this park, playing along with Pepa’s game. Because Pepa had smiled at her, and now she had touched her. And it had been such a long time since they had even looked at one another that this was a whole new world for both of them.
Silvia pulled the box out of her purse, slipped the key in the lock and heard a ‘click’. When she opened it and saw what was inside, she was confused. She took the object out and held it up, questioning Pepa, who was no longer smiling, with a look. Pepa may not have been smiling anymore, not after Silvia’s reaction, but she wasn’t going to give up. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy.
The object was a pacifier.
“What’s this?”
“A pacifier.”
“I know it’s a pacifier. What am I supposed to do with it?”
Pepa took a big breath.
“I want…I want you to the mother of this baby,” she cradled her belly. “I want him to also be yours.”
Silence.
Silvia’s face expressed all the emotions that had suddenly washed over her. Anger? Disbelief? Sadness? Wistfulness?
She shook her head.
“You must be joking,” she said, knitting her brows. “You’re crazy. How do you have the balls to come here and tell me now that you want me to be the mother of the baby? The mother of a baby that was conceived with Aitor,” she shook her head again. “Try thinking a little before you act.”
She turned on her heel, ready to leave, but the brunette was going to allow it.
“I’m fed up with thinking.” Silvia stopped short and turned around again. She tuned her ear to listen, not even hearing the birds chirping anymore. “Thinking is the only thing I do, for two months now, for a year, for two. Since the divorce, I don’t do anything but think about why I had to lose you.”
Silvia clenched her fists and tilted her head, she was scared to look Pepa in the eyes.
“I don’t understand what the point of this is now, Pepa.”
“The point is that I finally have the balls to fucking face the fear I have of screwing things up again with you.”
“But just because you’ve found the courage to face that fear doesn’t mean I can face mine.”
“You fear of what?”
“That you’ll hurt me.” Another silence. Silvia sighed. “If what you wanted was to ask me to be the mother of Aitor’s child, the answer is no. Can I go now?”
“This wasn’t just so I could ask you that.” Silvia finally looked up. Pepa had gotten serious and looking into her intense eyes gave Silvia the sensation that she was reading her mind. “It was so I could tell you that I love you.”
Anything else would’ve been less painful, less shocking. It was like a sharp stab to her stomach. She wasn’t expecting Pepa to throw that out only two months after what happened in Barbados, much less say it without stuttering. She definitely must’ve rehearsed it at home. But her hands betrayed her, nervously wringing each other.
“Pepa…” Silvia began to halt her Pepa’s words. She didn’t want to hear whatever was next, but she had no choice.
“No, listen to me, please. I’ve screwed things up a thousand times and we never properly fixed them afterwards. I’ve suffered over stupid things, because I went looking for them, but more than anything, I’ve suffered because months passed by before I could tell you I love you. How much time did we need before you could tell me you loved me on January 6th? Months. And it’s absurd, because if you loved me on the sixth of January, you loved me on the twentieth of December, and the tenth of November, and the twenty-fifth of October. And you didn’t tell me, and I also didn’t tell you.”
“Things have changed. I have a boyfriend, you’re going to have Aitor’s baby and…”
“Let’s be realistic, yes? You can’t call David your boyfriend.”
“Don’t get involved with my private life, Pepa.”
“You told me the same thing when you didn’t want anyone to know that we were together! And I went and told Paco! Don’t you understand? We keep delaying things now, which is stupid because they end up happening later. I’m not going to wait five more months before telling you I love you, because I do love you. I miss you all the time and…” Now she started to stutter, she hadn’t rehearsed this part. “And it’s just that I can’t be without you, Silvia. And much less knowing that you feel the same.”
Silvia sighed again and wiped her hands across her face, overwhelmed. It was a lot of information to take in, too many truths that she had been sure would never resurface. And now she could surrender to them. Surrender and tell Pepa she loved her, that she needed to be at her side, and just like that go back to kissing, to sleeping together in secret.
But then they would be right back where they were on New Year’s Eve when everything started…and things could end again just as suddenly, like they did in that hotel pool. She had already decided not to risk it, she didn’t want to change her mind, she didn’t want to suffer anymore.
“You don’t know whether I feel the same or not.”
“I know you’re scared, you said it yourself.”
“Pepa, I’m not in love with you.”
Silvia looked at Pepa, and to her surprise, she saw the brunette smiling.
“Well, then I’ll win you over.” Silvia frowned, puzzled, and shot Pepa another questioning look. “I’m going to make you fall in love again, Silvia Castro. Whether you want to or not.”
“Are we nuts?” Silvia asked impulsively, making Pepa smile even wider. The redhead started to smile herself, as if she had been told the stupidest thing in the world.
“I love you. It’s that simple.”
“Vale, vale, vale, now you’re just getting out of hand, Pepa.”
“No. I love you.”
Silvia smiled, this was no longer a serious conversation.
“Shut up!”
Pepa let out a loud laugh seeing Silvia blush. She looked at her watch and opened her eyes in surprise.
“Mierda, I have to go for the blood analysis.”
“What? You made me come out here just so you could act like an idiot for a while?”
Pepa laughed and shook her head before getting more sober.
“I’m being serious, pelirroja. I’m going to get you back sooner or later.”
Silvia rolled her eyes and turned around, this time actually walking away.
“And by the way!” Pepa yelled so Silvia could hear. “The baby’s not Aitor’s! I’m not going to register him as his child! Either you’re his mother, or I’m going to be a single mother!”
Silvia smacked her forehead with two fingers, still not quite believing what had happened there.
“Oh! And I love you!”
Silvia smiled.
“Pepa’s gone completely crazy…” she whispered.
Just like those butterflies, the ones flitting around her stomach faster than ever.
____________________________________
March 28th
Pepa
(*) I felt so, so, so relieved that I thought I would melt. A weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and now at the precinct, I could breathe easily while sitting at my desk. Since yesterday, I had been smiling like an idiot, and there was no point in lying to myself, I knew exactly why. I had been direct, a little crazy, because I was a little crazy, but direct, nonetheless. I knew she would say no, that she would treat me like a lunatic or throw things in my face…But just seeing her blush, just seeing her smile like she did…I was starting to worry about my mental health! I was becoming like a teenager! And it’s just that, I was like this when I was 17 or 18, always running on a higher gear when I liked someone. That’s why I kissed her under that table at Sara’s communion. But then I saw her again, and what I started to feel for her was so big that
it scared me! And I didn’t want to shift to a higher gear because I didn’t want to frighten her off. It was only when I became aware of her smiles, her nervousness and her gazes that I began, like now, a kind of “conquest”. I would get close to her just to make her nervous, I uttered thousands of comments with double-meanings…and in the end, we started a relationship.
And now, this 28th of March, I felt like I did then. My stomach was hurting from the nerves, though, and the baby didn’t really like it. I knew it even though I couldn’t feel him kicking. According to the pamphlet, if I pressed down on my belly, I should be able to feel it lightly, but I didn’t see the need for it, I’d rather wait. This pregnancy was proving to be much more relaxed than Noah’s, it was completely different really.
First of all, there was the conception. It took Silvia and I almost half a year and then in one damn night…Bah, better not to think about it, not now. And second, there was the vomiting. Bad at the start, naturally, but at this point with Noah, she kept me from sleeping, my stomach was hurting and I was still vomiting every now and then. Not with him. I felt full of energy and I had fewer mood swings. That said, the cravings were non-stop and I was eating a lot more. I had gained five kilos!
“Remember that with Noah, you were a first-time mother, and you had been artificially inseminated, and the girl’s genes on the behalf of the male donor weren’t known…” Juan commented when I asked about that concern. “You just think about how the baby’s heart is great, that he’s healthy and that you’re having a perfect pregnancy.”
And I had been thinking about that. Well, not exactly. The good thing about the pregnancy not causing me problems was precisely that I didn’t have to think about it too much, and I could concentrate on other things, like what I was planning at that exact moment.
I walked briskly up to the lab and opened the door quietly, without knocking. I liked seeing her like this, focused, looking through the microscope, wearing latex gloves checking some tests and, most of all, her acting naturally, being where she was happy. Silvia madly loved her work, nobody could deny that.
“You look beautiful,” I muttered, startling her so much that she let out a small scream.
“Don’t you know how to knock?”
“It’s just that, if I knock, I don’t get to see you like this.”
“Like this how?”
“With your heart racing due to the scare and…” I walked closer to her, “with your cheeks on fire, like they are now.”
She turned around, probably to smile so I wouldn’t see it. She sighed nervously and went back to her work, lifting up an object that appeared to be a burned cell phone.
“What did you want?” She asked.
“The keys to your house. Noah left some clothes there and she’s spending the night at my house. I’m getting off of work now, so I wanted to go get her stuff before picking her up at school.”
“She’s spending the night at your house?”
“Yes, we’re going to the zoo. I told her to tell you about it.” What a lie that was, but it came out smoothly, no stuttering.
“Well, she didn’t. She’s just as absent-minded as her mother.”
I smiled at her and she returned the smile.
“And just as proud as her other mother.”
She shook her head, still smiling.
“More like stubborn, I would say.”
“That, too. Her bad-side is all yours.”
Silvia made a face, her mouth opening wide, and she hit me with the charred phone causing a piece to break off and fall to the floor.
“Ah! Mierda!” She exclaimed bending over. “Where’d it go? Joder, that’s evidence!”
I started cracking up before bending over, too, and groping around the floor in search of that little black piece that should be somewhere at our feet.
“I made you nervous, eh?”
“Shut up, idiot. Gonzalo’s going to kill me…here it is!”
I saw it, too. I reached out to grab it at the same time she did, and without meaning to, my hand ended up on top of hers. Her fingers were cold, she looked up, her cheeks were…burning. She was as flushed as whenever we would kiss passionately. As flushed as when, watching a movie in the living room, I would start to caress her thigh. Our eyes locked and I felt a tickle in my stomach again.
Those were the things that had changed my way of thinking. That was what made me understand that I would always be in love with Silvia, because just a simple touch made us nervous, one look hypnotized us and…and though it was infuriating to know it came back during these moments that we weren’t together, the magic had returned between us. I wasn’t afraid anymore, because I knew I wouldn’t screw things up again. We might fight a hundred times more, but I wasn’t going to destroy everything ever again. I was sure of that.
The two of us on our knees on the floor, my hand over hers, her eyes holding my gaze…My fingers moved on their own and traced her hand, her wrist, and her arm until they reached her shoulder. She had goosebumps, just like I did. I wanted to stay there, looking at her, touching her…but if I didn’t stop, I wouldn’t be able to carry out what I had been planning, so I swallowed and stood up. She stood up a few seconds later and blinked a few times, like she always did when she was very nervous. She put her hair behind her ear, and I smiled.
“So, you going to give me the keys?” I asked, trying to control my breathing. She hesitated a bit before responding.
“Sí…Sí, claro, here. Leave them for me under the pot, vale?
“Vale.”
She took the keys out of the pocket of her jeans and let them fall into my hand, her own hand was shaking though she was trying to hide it. I smiled and opened the door to finally walk out. Before leaving, I turned around and looked at her.
“Calm down. I can hear your heart beating from here.”(*)
Links to the original story:
http://pepaysilvia.mforos.com/1469855/8481210-por-si-eramos-pocos-01-11-09-23-40/
http://pepaysilvia.mforos.com/1469855/8680673-por-si-eramos-pocos-ii-28-11-09-21-35/
http://pepaysilvia.mforos.com/1469855/8848739-por-si-eramos-pocos-iii-14-02-10-0-55-finalizado/
Rating: PG-13
NB: I'm baaaack with this story. Finally, I know. ;-) Have at it!
Noah was taken out of the car in her mother’s arms, and as soon as she was put down on the ground, she took off running to the inside of the school. She pushed Dani playfully, and when he saw her, he smiled and pulled her inside the classroom. Silvia stood watching all the other children walk inside, some smiling like her daughter, others tearing up. She shrugged her shoulders thinking about how many things had changed in the last two years and shook her head at the drastic changes her daughter had gone through. The girl, at two years old, had hid in the bathtub, kicking and crying all the way into the nursery. It always made her heart clench to see Noah like that, but then she would get into the car, with Pepa at her side, and the discomfort would disappear. It always disappeared.
She checked the time: nine o’clock.
“Is this weight ever going to be lifted off my chest?” She questioned aloud.
On the one hand, she wanted things to be the way they were, and on the other, she didn’t. She was starting to miss Pepa again. It had only been in fits and starts since she had David, and he, between kisses and conversations, helped her to forget her ex-wife occasionally. But David would be gone six months, and it seemed that Pepa planned on storming back into her life now that she had no one to hide behind.
She sighed, shaking her head.
“No, Silvia, whether David’s here or not, if Pepa appears, there’s no one who could hide you from her.”
She started the car and drove down the streets of Madrid at a slow pace with the window open, enjoying the early morning breeze. The temperature was now bearable with a simple cardigan and, as April was about to start, the trees were starting to show some of their colorful flowers although they could only be seen if you left the car and walked out front of Paloma Park. She looked back inside the car and saw the time: ten o’clock, she had been driving very slowly.
Silvia got comfortable in the seat and pulled both the paper and the little box out of her purse.
“I shouldn’t be doing this,” she said, as if saying it aloud would give her the courage to start the car and leave. “I really shouldn’t.”
She finally got out of the car, locked it, and walked inside the park. She noted the ducks, the tranquility amongst the older people taking a walk, as well as the adults running through the park, using it as a shortcut. There weren’t any children to be seen since they were all at school. And she should’ve been at work, but what happened with Noah at the station had given her a week off.
“You came,” she heard from behind, startling her.
She turned as saw Pepa looking calm, her hands in the pockets of her unbuttoned jacket.
“I wasn’t going to come.”
Pepa smiled.
“Then you wouldn’t get the key.”
“Pepa, what game are you playing?”
It was a serious question, delivered flatly. They would speak, but not more than necessary. Although Silvia was initially excited by the messages, when she saw Pepa looking at her with that beautiful smile, she knew she had made a mistake.
“Here,” Pepa held out a small key. “Before I tell you anything, I want you to open the box. It’s the most important part.”
Silvia sighed. She realized that there was nobody around them, and she really needed a distraction at that moment. She put her hand out in the air and Pepa delicately gave her the key, letting their fingers brush.
She had made a mistake, a huge mistake coming to this park, playing along with Pepa’s game. Because Pepa had smiled at her, and now she had touched her. And it had been such a long time since they had even looked at one another that this was a whole new world for both of them.
Silvia pulled the box out of her purse, slipped the key in the lock and heard a ‘click’. When she opened it and saw what was inside, she was confused. She took the object out and held it up, questioning Pepa, who was no longer smiling, with a look. Pepa may not have been smiling anymore, not after Silvia’s reaction, but she wasn’t going to give up. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy.
The object was a pacifier.
“What’s this?”
“A pacifier.”
“I know it’s a pacifier. What am I supposed to do with it?”
Pepa took a big breath.
“I want…I want you to the mother of this baby,” she cradled her belly. “I want him to also be yours.”
Silence.
Silvia’s face expressed all the emotions that had suddenly washed over her. Anger? Disbelief? Sadness? Wistfulness?
She shook her head.
“You must be joking,” she said, knitting her brows. “You’re crazy. How do you have the balls to come here and tell me now that you want me to be the mother of the baby? The mother of a baby that was conceived with Aitor,” she shook her head again. “Try thinking a little before you act.”
She turned on her heel, ready to leave, but the brunette was going to allow it.
“I’m fed up with thinking.” Silvia stopped short and turned around again. She tuned her ear to listen, not even hearing the birds chirping anymore. “Thinking is the only thing I do, for two months now, for a year, for two. Since the divorce, I don’t do anything but think about why I had to lose you.”
Silvia clenched her fists and tilted her head, she was scared to look Pepa in the eyes.
“I don’t understand what the point of this is now, Pepa.”
“The point is that I finally have the balls to fucking face the fear I have of screwing things up again with you.”
“But just because you’ve found the courage to face that fear doesn’t mean I can face mine.”
“You fear of what?”
“That you’ll hurt me.” Another silence. Silvia sighed. “If what you wanted was to ask me to be the mother of Aitor’s child, the answer is no. Can I go now?”
“This wasn’t just so I could ask you that.” Silvia finally looked up. Pepa had gotten serious and looking into her intense eyes gave Silvia the sensation that she was reading her mind. “It was so I could tell you that I love you.”
Anything else would’ve been less painful, less shocking. It was like a sharp stab to her stomach. She wasn’t expecting Pepa to throw that out only two months after what happened in Barbados, much less say it without stuttering. She definitely must’ve rehearsed it at home. But her hands betrayed her, nervously wringing each other.
“Pepa…” Silvia began to halt her Pepa’s words. She didn’t want to hear whatever was next, but she had no choice.
“No, listen to me, please. I’ve screwed things up a thousand times and we never properly fixed them afterwards. I’ve suffered over stupid things, because I went looking for them, but more than anything, I’ve suffered because months passed by before I could tell you I love you. How much time did we need before you could tell me you loved me on January 6th? Months. And it’s absurd, because if you loved me on the sixth of January, you loved me on the twentieth of December, and the tenth of November, and the twenty-fifth of October. And you didn’t tell me, and I also didn’t tell you.”
“Things have changed. I have a boyfriend, you’re going to have Aitor’s baby and…”
“Let’s be realistic, yes? You can’t call David your boyfriend.”
“Don’t get involved with my private life, Pepa.”
“You told me the same thing when you didn’t want anyone to know that we were together! And I went and told Paco! Don’t you understand? We keep delaying things now, which is stupid because they end up happening later. I’m not going to wait five more months before telling you I love you, because I do love you. I miss you all the time and…” Now she started to stutter, she hadn’t rehearsed this part. “And it’s just that I can’t be without you, Silvia. And much less knowing that you feel the same.”
Silvia sighed again and wiped her hands across her face, overwhelmed. It was a lot of information to take in, too many truths that she had been sure would never resurface. And now she could surrender to them. Surrender and tell Pepa she loved her, that she needed to be at her side, and just like that go back to kissing, to sleeping together in secret.
But then they would be right back where they were on New Year’s Eve when everything started…and things could end again just as suddenly, like they did in that hotel pool. She had already decided not to risk it, she didn’t want to change her mind, she didn’t want to suffer anymore.
“You don’t know whether I feel the same or not.”
“I know you’re scared, you said it yourself.”
“Pepa, I’m not in love with you.”
Silvia looked at Pepa, and to her surprise, she saw the brunette smiling.
“Well, then I’ll win you over.” Silvia frowned, puzzled, and shot Pepa another questioning look. “I’m going to make you fall in love again, Silvia Castro. Whether you want to or not.”
“Are we nuts?” Silvia asked impulsively, making Pepa smile even wider. The redhead started to smile herself, as if she had been told the stupidest thing in the world.
“I love you. It’s that simple.”
“Vale, vale, vale, now you’re just getting out of hand, Pepa.”
“No. I love you.”
Silvia smiled, this was no longer a serious conversation.
“Shut up!”
Pepa let out a loud laugh seeing Silvia blush. She looked at her watch and opened her eyes in surprise.
“Mierda, I have to go for the blood analysis.”
“What? You made me come out here just so you could act like an idiot for a while?”
Pepa laughed and shook her head before getting more sober.
“I’m being serious, pelirroja. I’m going to get you back sooner or later.”
Silvia rolled her eyes and turned around, this time actually walking away.
“And by the way!” Pepa yelled so Silvia could hear. “The baby’s not Aitor’s! I’m not going to register him as his child! Either you’re his mother, or I’m going to be a single mother!”
Silvia smacked her forehead with two fingers, still not quite believing what had happened there.
“Oh! And I love you!”
Silvia smiled.
“Pepa’s gone completely crazy…” she whispered.
Just like those butterflies, the ones flitting around her stomach faster than ever.
____________________________________
March 28th
Pepa
(*) I felt so, so, so relieved that I thought I would melt. A weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and now at the precinct, I could breathe easily while sitting at my desk. Since yesterday, I had been smiling like an idiot, and there was no point in lying to myself, I knew exactly why. I had been direct, a little crazy, because I was a little crazy, but direct, nonetheless. I knew she would say no, that she would treat me like a lunatic or throw things in my face…But just seeing her blush, just seeing her smile like she did…I was starting to worry about my mental health! I was becoming like a teenager! And it’s just that, I was like this when I was 17 or 18, always running on a higher gear when I liked someone. That’s why I kissed her under that table at Sara’s communion. But then I saw her again, and what I started to feel for her was so big that
it scared me! And I didn’t want to shift to a higher gear because I didn’t want to frighten her off. It was only when I became aware of her smiles, her nervousness and her gazes that I began, like now, a kind of “conquest”. I would get close to her just to make her nervous, I uttered thousands of comments with double-meanings…and in the end, we started a relationship.
And now, this 28th of March, I felt like I did then. My stomach was hurting from the nerves, though, and the baby didn’t really like it. I knew it even though I couldn’t feel him kicking. According to the pamphlet, if I pressed down on my belly, I should be able to feel it lightly, but I didn’t see the need for it, I’d rather wait. This pregnancy was proving to be much more relaxed than Noah’s, it was completely different really.
First of all, there was the conception. It took Silvia and I almost half a year and then in one damn night…Bah, better not to think about it, not now. And second, there was the vomiting. Bad at the start, naturally, but at this point with Noah, she kept me from sleeping, my stomach was hurting and I was still vomiting every now and then. Not with him. I felt full of energy and I had fewer mood swings. That said, the cravings were non-stop and I was eating a lot more. I had gained five kilos!
“Remember that with Noah, you were a first-time mother, and you had been artificially inseminated, and the girl’s genes on the behalf of the male donor weren’t known…” Juan commented when I asked about that concern. “You just think about how the baby’s heart is great, that he’s healthy and that you’re having a perfect pregnancy.”
And I had been thinking about that. Well, not exactly. The good thing about the pregnancy not causing me problems was precisely that I didn’t have to think about it too much, and I could concentrate on other things, like what I was planning at that exact moment.
I walked briskly up to the lab and opened the door quietly, without knocking. I liked seeing her like this, focused, looking through the microscope, wearing latex gloves checking some tests and, most of all, her acting naturally, being where she was happy. Silvia madly loved her work, nobody could deny that.
“You look beautiful,” I muttered, startling her so much that she let out a small scream.
“Don’t you know how to knock?”
“It’s just that, if I knock, I don’t get to see you like this.”
“Like this how?”
“With your heart racing due to the scare and…” I walked closer to her, “with your cheeks on fire, like they are now.”
She turned around, probably to smile so I wouldn’t see it. She sighed nervously and went back to her work, lifting up an object that appeared to be a burned cell phone.
“What did you want?” She asked.
“The keys to your house. Noah left some clothes there and she’s spending the night at my house. I’m getting off of work now, so I wanted to go get her stuff before picking her up at school.”
“She’s spending the night at your house?”
“Yes, we’re going to the zoo. I told her to tell you about it.” What a lie that was, but it came out smoothly, no stuttering.
“Well, she didn’t. She’s just as absent-minded as her mother.”
I smiled at her and she returned the smile.
“And just as proud as her other mother.”
She shook her head, still smiling.
“More like stubborn, I would say.”
“That, too. Her bad-side is all yours.”
Silvia made a face, her mouth opening wide, and she hit me with the charred phone causing a piece to break off and fall to the floor.
“Ah! Mierda!” She exclaimed bending over. “Where’d it go? Joder, that’s evidence!”
I started cracking up before bending over, too, and groping around the floor in search of that little black piece that should be somewhere at our feet.
“I made you nervous, eh?”
“Shut up, idiot. Gonzalo’s going to kill me…here it is!”
I saw it, too. I reached out to grab it at the same time she did, and without meaning to, my hand ended up on top of hers. Her fingers were cold, she looked up, her cheeks were…burning. She was as flushed as whenever we would kiss passionately. As flushed as when, watching a movie in the living room, I would start to caress her thigh. Our eyes locked and I felt a tickle in my stomach again.
Those were the things that had changed my way of thinking. That was what made me understand that I would always be in love with Silvia, because just a simple touch made us nervous, one look hypnotized us and…and though it was infuriating to know it came back during these moments that we weren’t together, the magic had returned between us. I wasn’t afraid anymore, because I knew I wouldn’t screw things up again. We might fight a hundred times more, but I wasn’t going to destroy everything ever again. I was sure of that.
The two of us on our knees on the floor, my hand over hers, her eyes holding my gaze…My fingers moved on their own and traced her hand, her wrist, and her arm until they reached her shoulder. She had goosebumps, just like I did. I wanted to stay there, looking at her, touching her…but if I didn’t stop, I wouldn’t be able to carry out what I had been planning, so I swallowed and stood up. She stood up a few seconds later and blinked a few times, like she always did when she was very nervous. She put her hair behind her ear, and I smiled.
“So, you going to give me the keys?” I asked, trying to control my breathing. She hesitated a bit before responding.
“Sí…Sí, claro, here. Leave them for me under the pot, vale?
“Vale.”
She took the keys out of the pocket of her jeans and let them fall into my hand, her own hand was shaking though she was trying to hide it. I smiled and opened the door to finally walk out. Before leaving, I turned around and looked at her.
“Calm down. I can hear your heart beating from here.”(*)
Links to the original story:
http://pepaysilvia.mforos.com/1469855/8481210-por-si-eramos-pocos-01-11-09-23-40/
http://pepaysilvia.mforos.com/1469855/8680673-por-si-eramos-pocos-ii-28-11-09-21-35/
http://pepaysilvia.mforos.com/1469855/8848739-por-si-eramos-pocos-iii-14-02-10-0-55-finalizado/