wait, why did i just put that in my journal? i guess it makes too much sense to use AIM.

sent you another letter maggie, and included a special surprise. lol.

i'm not sure if i feel good about last night or not. part of me does... but part of me frowns on such behavior. part of me worries that i might start escaping too often. i mean honestly, it felt really good to be numb for so long. once again, i know i would stop completely if there were someone in a position to say the magic words. but that person' ( Read more... )

i think i understand why it has to be like this. i've been in the same situation myself. the outcome was overall successful. but somehow this feels different. i feel like i've lost something, and gained an uneasiness. oh well... it's not my call, and i'm going to stay where i'm at (for now anyway). i can't afford to lose any more. gahhhhhh, so much ( Read more... )

the more i feel like i don't have the answers, the less in control i feel. hopefully something profound comes out of thie experiment. something like.... a nice long sleep. so many people i wish i could tell so many things. my heart overflows with different feelings at different levels. overwhelmed. i love.

hah, i know... mixing will increase the effects.... i shall have to do that. yesssss.

i just want to go to sleep... and i want my hands to stop aching. is that so much to ask?

here he comes, here comes speed racer!

omfg, liter of maple syrup does NOT agree with system. i'm fairly sure i've purged enough of the stuff by now, but i'm feeling a bit of discomfort still. lol..

yeah, that was just... wow.

omg.... i'm still alive?