FIC: Fair sickness
FIC: Fair Sickness
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Santana/Brittany established with long term B/S/Q/R friendship
Author's Note: First Glee fic. The Ohio State Fair usually falls during the first two weeks of August but this year runs July 25 thru August 7th. The Allen County Fair (where Lima is located) falls the last full week of August, this year's dates being Aug 21 thru 28th, if I remember correctly from the listing of Ohio fairs. For the purpose of this fic, the girls have always been on friendly terms. Additionally, I have no clue what Brittany's last name is so I made it up. reviews make my day!
For as long as Santana could remember, Brittany only got sick two times a year. Every year during the waning days of July, her girlfriend would start sniffling and inevitably spend the first two weeks of August seeing specialists in Columbus. Brittany would always return feeling better than ever. However, a relapse would occur during their first week of school in late August. It baffled the Latina girl, but as was normal with things concerning Brittany, she felt the oddity was just a part of who the Dutch girl was and left it at that.
So, when on July 23rd, Brittany started sneezing and sniffling, Santana merely sighed and kissed her girlfriend's pale cheek. "Get some rest. I'll see you when you come back in two weeks."
**********************************************************************************
Brittany hummed contentedly as she wiped the damp washcloth over her Blue Swede duck, Howard. She had never meant to keep her participation in 4-H a secret. It was something that had been borne from a distaste of slushie facials. Being a nine or ten year old kid and participating in the county fair was one thing, but to be an active member in high school was social suicide. Sure, they lived in a farming community, but that didn't mean the teens had the same respect for agriculture their parents did. Farm kids were lower than Glee members. As a result, Brittany joined a club on the very edge of Allen county, where most of the kids attended Wapakoneta High in nearby Auglaize County, kids who didn't see her on a daily basis and couldn't harm her Cheerio reputation.
At the end of every July, the blonde girl readied her ten ducks and an assortment of rabbit breeds and hauled them to Columbus for the state fair. Then at the end of August, she repeated the process for the county fair. Of her friends, the only one who knew of this ruse was Rachel, who had stumbled upon it quite inadvertently.
The Previous August, Columbus, Ohio
Rachel Berry was strolling through the buildings at the Ohio State Fair with one of her dads on each side of her. She felt she was a bit old to be at a fair, but there was a talent show and a karaoke contest being held on the same day and she had entered both contests. Someone was bound to see her talent and pull her away from small minded Lima.
Her dad on her left, Gregory, nudged her shoulder. "Isn't that your friend Brittany?" he asked pointing to a blonde girl in a white labcoat who was holding and absentmindedly petting a gray looking duck.
"No, I don't..." before she could finish, her other father, Joshua shouted Brittany's name. Of course, the other girl looked around for who called her.
Joshua pushed her forward. "Go say hello. Be polite. We'll be over here looking at rabbits."
Rachel walked over to Brittany, who was busying herself with the duck in her hands. "Hello, Brittany. I see you are feeling better."
Brittany cleared her throat. "hmm yea. What brings you here?"
"Talent show. I think the more fitting question is why you are holding that animal and why aren't you at a hospital being tested for avian influenza?"
Before the Cheerio could respond, another girl in a white labcoat appeared. "Your class is on deck, Hostettler."
Brittany faced the shorter brunette. "Can you wait around for a bit? I can explain more when judging is over. For now, Howard needs to go defend his title."
Later that afternoon, Rachel was forced to secrecy about everything she had seen and learned that day.
Brittany's thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of her phone indicating an incoming text. When is your exhibition? ~Rach
She quickly typed a reply. Friday and Saturday. Don't come. I'm nervous enough. Plus S will know something's up.~B
You should tell her about the poultry show, Britt. She's your girlfriend and thusly deserves to be treated better than to think you have an imaginary illness which requires OSU specialists.
Thusly? What's thusly?
Therefore
Therefore what?
Grrrrrr nevermind. I just think you should tell Santana about your fair participatory history.
R u running for poultry queen this year?
I saw in the newspaper last year that you were runner-up for it.
I dunno.
Maybe.
Just whatever you do don't tell S.
****************************************************************************
July 30th
Santana was sprawled across a chaise lounge chair next to the pool in Rachel's backyard. Quinn was floating around on a raft while Rachel was laying on her stomach on a towel in the grass. "God, I'm bored." grumbled the dark girl from the chair. "There's nothing to do around here."
"We could always go to Columbus." Rachel murmured softly.
"What's to do there?"
"COSI, an indoor waterpark, concerts at Polaris, an Irish festival in Dublin next week, the state fair." Quinn rattled off since she had already heard these attractions from Rachel, who seemed to be fairly insistent the group of friends go on a roadtrip to the state capitol immediately.
Rachel's dad, Greg, appeared at the patio door. "Princess, Brittany is on the phone for you!" Santana sat upright and tried hard to listen to Rachel's conversation without appearing to be doing so.
"Yeah...that's great!...congratulations....Santana's right here. Do you want to talk to her?...you need to talk to her, Britt....yes I do know. Believe me, I have been on the receiving end for so many years...If you don't tell her today, then I will...Seriously if you don't, I'll give you a facial myself, Hostettler!" She angrily disconnected the call. "Fluffernutter!"
Before Rachel could say or do much else, she felt herself being pulled into the pool backwards and then held under the water. She was roughly pulled to the surface to hear Santana ranting. "What the fuck" pushed under a few seconds and surfaced "are you doing" under and surfaced "With" under and surface "My" under for longer then surfaced "Girlfriend?"
Before Santana could do anymore harm to the budding diva, Quinn separated the pair. "That's enough, S. I'm sure Rachel has an explanation for what we overheard." She stared pointedly at the brunette who nodded vigorously. "Well? Are you going to tell us what it is or is Lopez going to waterboard your scrawny ass to get you to talk?"
"It's not my secret to tell. Talk to Brittany."
"Can't do that if she won't return my calls." Santana scoffed. "It's always like this when she goes to those damn specialists." she muttered crossing her arms over her bikini top.
"I'm telling you. The answer is in CO...LUM...BUS!" Rachel shouted slowly.
The two Cheerios sighed heavily. 'Fine." Quinn relented. "We'll go to Columbus tomorrow."
***************************************************************
July 31st
Santana sneezed as the entered the Rabbit and Poultry Pavilion. "This is why I don't do fairs. Hay and sawdust aggravate my sinuses." She sniffled loudly as she looked around. She paused at one of the cages. "Awww look at the ducks. Britt would love this."
She felt a tug on her arm. "Come on. We got here just in time." Rachel said excitedly, pulling the Latina girl towards a set of bleachers. "It's the class for overall grand champion poultry exhibit."
She rolled her eyes. "Why do I care?" Rachel merely pointed to where Brittany stood next to a long table holding a gray duck. "Since when does B have a duck? Why is she here? Wha... what the fuck is going on here, Manhands?"
"She shows ducks and rabbits here at the state fair and at our county fair. That's where she goes when she claims to be sick." Rachel explained patiently.
Santana furrowed her brows. "Why the secrecy?"
"She really hates slushie facials. I mean, REALLY hates them." Rachel stopped talking when she saw the judge walk along the table with the champion ribbon in his hand.
The three girls squealed and whistled when the award was given to their friend and her duck. Brittany looked around the arena, confused by the commotion in her honor, then paled when she saw her friends. She carried her bird over to them. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Your girlfriend tried to drown Broadway Diva to get her to talk. All Rach would say was we had to come to Columbus. Here we are and here you are...with a duck."
Brittany looked down and started petting the animal. "This is Howard, the overall grand champion poultry exhibit. He's a Blue Swede."
Santana shook her head. "But he's grayish almost black."
"True but his breed is Blue Swede. And he's not really blue. That's just the terminology for this particular shade of gray."
Her girlfriend cocked her head to the side. "Hold on a minute. Did you say your duck's name is Howard? As in Howard the Duck?"
Brittany nodded exuberantly and grasped her girlfriend's hand. "Let me introduce you to the rest of the flock." she walked over to a few cages and started pointing. "There's Donald, Daisy, Hughie, Dewey,Louie, Scrooge, Darkwing, Brittana, and Faberry."
Quinn rubbed her eyes. "Let me get this straight. You named your animals after cartoons?"
"It was easier to remember that way."
"Ok, but why brittana and faberry?" asked Rachel.
"Because coupling those together makes perfect sense." the blonde stated wisely. She turned to her quiet girlfriend. "You're not mad at me, are you?"
"No...yes...I don't know, B. I don't understand why you felt you had to hide this." Santana whispered linking their pinkies.
"Cuz you guys throw slushies at the 4-H and FFA kids."
"Fuck." Santana muttered harshly, hanging her head. "Ok, the Cheerios are officially no longer involved in slurpee facials." She smiled half-heartedly.
Brittany kissed her cheek. "Thank you."
Santana shuffled her feet awkwardly. "So, umm...why don't you tell me about this poultry stuff?" she encouraged. As the trio of girls listened to the blonde in the labcoat talk at length about the differences between a duck and a goose, they all realized that while Brittany may not be the brightest bulb in the box, she was smart in what mattered most to her. Santana-smart and duck-smart.
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Santana/Brittany established with long term B/S/Q/R friendship
Author's Note: First Glee fic. The Ohio State Fair usually falls during the first two weeks of August but this year runs July 25 thru August 7th. The Allen County Fair (where Lima is located) falls the last full week of August, this year's dates being Aug 21 thru 28th, if I remember correctly from the listing of Ohio fairs. For the purpose of this fic, the girls have always been on friendly terms. Additionally, I have no clue what Brittany's last name is so I made it up. reviews make my day!
For as long as Santana could remember, Brittany only got sick two times a year. Every year during the waning days of July, her girlfriend would start sniffling and inevitably spend the first two weeks of August seeing specialists in Columbus. Brittany would always return feeling better than ever. However, a relapse would occur during their first week of school in late August. It baffled the Latina girl, but as was normal with things concerning Brittany, she felt the oddity was just a part of who the Dutch girl was and left it at that.
So, when on July 23rd, Brittany started sneezing and sniffling, Santana merely sighed and kissed her girlfriend's pale cheek. "Get some rest. I'll see you when you come back in two weeks."
**********************************************************************************
Brittany hummed contentedly as she wiped the damp washcloth over her Blue Swede duck, Howard. She had never meant to keep her participation in 4-H a secret. It was something that had been borne from a distaste of slushie facials. Being a nine or ten year old kid and participating in the county fair was one thing, but to be an active member in high school was social suicide. Sure, they lived in a farming community, but that didn't mean the teens had the same respect for agriculture their parents did. Farm kids were lower than Glee members. As a result, Brittany joined a club on the very edge of Allen county, where most of the kids attended Wapakoneta High in nearby Auglaize County, kids who didn't see her on a daily basis and couldn't harm her Cheerio reputation.
At the end of every July, the blonde girl readied her ten ducks and an assortment of rabbit breeds and hauled them to Columbus for the state fair. Then at the end of August, she repeated the process for the county fair. Of her friends, the only one who knew of this ruse was Rachel, who had stumbled upon it quite inadvertently.
The Previous August, Columbus, Ohio
Rachel Berry was strolling through the buildings at the Ohio State Fair with one of her dads on each side of her. She felt she was a bit old to be at a fair, but there was a talent show and a karaoke contest being held on the same day and she had entered both contests. Someone was bound to see her talent and pull her away from small minded Lima.
Her dad on her left, Gregory, nudged her shoulder. "Isn't that your friend Brittany?" he asked pointing to a blonde girl in a white labcoat who was holding and absentmindedly petting a gray looking duck.
"No, I don't..." before she could finish, her other father, Joshua shouted Brittany's name. Of course, the other girl looked around for who called her.
Joshua pushed her forward. "Go say hello. Be polite. We'll be over here looking at rabbits."
Rachel walked over to Brittany, who was busying herself with the duck in her hands. "Hello, Brittany. I see you are feeling better."
Brittany cleared her throat. "hmm yea. What brings you here?"
"Talent show. I think the more fitting question is why you are holding that animal and why aren't you at a hospital being tested for avian influenza?"
Before the Cheerio could respond, another girl in a white labcoat appeared. "Your class is on deck, Hostettler."
Brittany faced the shorter brunette. "Can you wait around for a bit? I can explain more when judging is over. For now, Howard needs to go defend his title."
Later that afternoon, Rachel was forced to secrecy about everything she had seen and learned that day.
Brittany's thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of her phone indicating an incoming text. When is your exhibition? ~Rach
She quickly typed a reply. Friday and Saturday. Don't come. I'm nervous enough. Plus S will know something's up.~B
You should tell her about the poultry show, Britt. She's your girlfriend and thusly deserves to be treated better than to think you have an imaginary illness which requires OSU specialists.
Thusly? What's thusly?
Therefore
Therefore what?
Grrrrrr nevermind. I just think you should tell Santana about your fair participatory history.
R u running for poultry queen this year?
I saw in the newspaper last year that you were runner-up for it.
I dunno.
Maybe.
Just whatever you do don't tell S.
****************************************************************************
July 30th
Santana was sprawled across a chaise lounge chair next to the pool in Rachel's backyard. Quinn was floating around on a raft while Rachel was laying on her stomach on a towel in the grass. "God, I'm bored." grumbled the dark girl from the chair. "There's nothing to do around here."
"We could always go to Columbus." Rachel murmured softly.
"What's to do there?"
"COSI, an indoor waterpark, concerts at Polaris, an Irish festival in Dublin next week, the state fair." Quinn rattled off since she had already heard these attractions from Rachel, who seemed to be fairly insistent the group of friends go on a roadtrip to the state capitol immediately.
Rachel's dad, Greg, appeared at the patio door. "Princess, Brittany is on the phone for you!" Santana sat upright and tried hard to listen to Rachel's conversation without appearing to be doing so.
"Yeah...that's great!...congratulations....Santana's right here. Do you want to talk to her?...you need to talk to her, Britt....yes I do know. Believe me, I have been on the receiving end for so many years...If you don't tell her today, then I will...Seriously if you don't, I'll give you a facial myself, Hostettler!" She angrily disconnected the call. "Fluffernutter!"
Before Rachel could say or do much else, she felt herself being pulled into the pool backwards and then held under the water. She was roughly pulled to the surface to hear Santana ranting. "What the fuck" pushed under a few seconds and surfaced "are you doing" under and surfaced "With" under and surface "My" under for longer then surfaced "Girlfriend?"
Before Santana could do anymore harm to the budding diva, Quinn separated the pair. "That's enough, S. I'm sure Rachel has an explanation for what we overheard." She stared pointedly at the brunette who nodded vigorously. "Well? Are you going to tell us what it is or is Lopez going to waterboard your scrawny ass to get you to talk?"
"It's not my secret to tell. Talk to Brittany."
"Can't do that if she won't return my calls." Santana scoffed. "It's always like this when she goes to those damn specialists." she muttered crossing her arms over her bikini top.
"I'm telling you. The answer is in CO...LUM...BUS!" Rachel shouted slowly.
The two Cheerios sighed heavily. 'Fine." Quinn relented. "We'll go to Columbus tomorrow."
***************************************************************
July 31st
Santana sneezed as the entered the Rabbit and Poultry Pavilion. "This is why I don't do fairs. Hay and sawdust aggravate my sinuses." She sniffled loudly as she looked around. She paused at one of the cages. "Awww look at the ducks. Britt would love this."
She felt a tug on her arm. "Come on. We got here just in time." Rachel said excitedly, pulling the Latina girl towards a set of bleachers. "It's the class for overall grand champion poultry exhibit."
She rolled her eyes. "Why do I care?" Rachel merely pointed to where Brittany stood next to a long table holding a gray duck. "Since when does B have a duck? Why is she here? Wha... what the fuck is going on here, Manhands?"
"She shows ducks and rabbits here at the state fair and at our county fair. That's where she goes when she claims to be sick." Rachel explained patiently.
Santana furrowed her brows. "Why the secrecy?"
"She really hates slushie facials. I mean, REALLY hates them." Rachel stopped talking when she saw the judge walk along the table with the champion ribbon in his hand.
The three girls squealed and whistled when the award was given to their friend and her duck. Brittany looked around the arena, confused by the commotion in her honor, then paled when she saw her friends. She carried her bird over to them. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Your girlfriend tried to drown Broadway Diva to get her to talk. All Rach would say was we had to come to Columbus. Here we are and here you are...with a duck."
Brittany looked down and started petting the animal. "This is Howard, the overall grand champion poultry exhibit. He's a Blue Swede."
Santana shook her head. "But he's grayish almost black."
"True but his breed is Blue Swede. And he's not really blue. That's just the terminology for this particular shade of gray."
Her girlfriend cocked her head to the side. "Hold on a minute. Did you say your duck's name is Howard? As in Howard the Duck?"
Brittany nodded exuberantly and grasped her girlfriend's hand. "Let me introduce you to the rest of the flock." she walked over to a few cages and started pointing. "There's Donald, Daisy, Hughie, Dewey,Louie, Scrooge, Darkwing, Brittana, and Faberry."
Quinn rubbed her eyes. "Let me get this straight. You named your animals after cartoons?"
"It was easier to remember that way."
"Ok, but why brittana and faberry?" asked Rachel.
"Because coupling those together makes perfect sense." the blonde stated wisely. She turned to her quiet girlfriend. "You're not mad at me, are you?"
"No...yes...I don't know, B. I don't understand why you felt you had to hide this." Santana whispered linking their pinkies.
"Cuz you guys throw slushies at the 4-H and FFA kids."
"Fuck." Santana muttered harshly, hanging her head. "Ok, the Cheerios are officially no longer involved in slurpee facials." She smiled half-heartedly.
Brittany kissed her cheek. "Thank you."
Santana shuffled her feet awkwardly. "So, umm...why don't you tell me about this poultry stuff?" she encouraged. As the trio of girls listened to the blonde in the labcoat talk at length about the differences between a duck and a goose, they all realized that while Brittany may not be the brightest bulb in the box, she was smart in what mattered most to her. Santana-smart and duck-smart.