Did You Get What You Hoped For? 2/? (Fic)
Title: Did You Get What You Hoped For? 2/?
Author: pelagia911
Rating: PG (This Chapter)
Genre: Gen, hurt/comfort (ish, more so later on)
Pairing and Characters: Dean/female!Cas (Dean/fallen!female!Cas later), Sam, Bobby, Crowley (eventually)
Spoilers: Everything through 6x20
Warnings: None that I can think of
Word Count: 3,986 (this chapter)WIP
Note: Just a little story that came out of nowhere a couple days ago. My first Supernatural fic and it’s growing bigger than I thought it would.
Summary: Set in an AU after the end of Season 6. I’m making up how it will end and this is the aftermath. Dean has to deal with what happens to Castiel and he is surprised how Cas changes.
The case had been pretty straightforward. A vengeful spirit picking off the people responsible for their death. With Bobby’s help, they had burned the bones and saved a few people within a week. Dean was catching up on some sleep on Bobby’s couch when the sound of wings and a change in atmosphere woke him from his light sleep. Dean didn’t need to look to see who it was.
“Hello Dean.” Her voice was softer than their last meeting. She sounded sad. Dean propped himself up on the arm of the couch. He could barely make out the outline of Cas’ hair in the dark. Her head was down.
“Cas, what’s wrong?” He heard her feet shuffle a little closer. The moon light coming through the windows hit her face and let Dean see how upset she looked. He also noticed her trenchcoat was open, revealing a black and white dress shirt underneath the belt around her waist showing her slim figure.
“I’m sorry Dean. I should have told you about what I was doing earlier.”
Dean let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re apologizing to me, Cas really?” Castiel looked up in confusion. Dean rubbed his eyes. “Wow. Look, don’t apologize. I get it. I should be apologizing, for so many things.” Cas moved closer and sat on the couch by Dean’s feet. She stared at her hands for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. Dean sat up farther and crossed his legs. “You have done a lot,” Dean stopped. He didn’t know what he was about to say, but he was afraid it was going to be a little too much like a cheesy movie to do it without some kind of drink. He stood and moved for the kitchen. When he passed Castiel, a small yet iron strong hand grabbed his wrist.
Dean looked to see Cas holding his arm in place looking up at him. “Dean,” Cas pulled his arm, “sit.”
Dean laughed nervously, “I’m just getting a drink Cas. I’ll be right back.” He took a step toward the kitchen again when Cas pulled him harder, making him stumble back a step.
“No, sit.” Dean turned to face Cas sitting on the couch. Her hard stare left Dean speechless. But Dean being stubborn as he is made no move to sit. They stared at each other for a moment, daring the other to speak or move first. Cas’ grip tightened slightly as her eyes narrowed. She pulled on Dean’s arm as she stood. “What were you going to say Dean?”
“I don’t remember.” Dean tried to pull his arm away and was met with another rough pull and glare. “Let me go.”
Cas’ eyes searched Dean’s for a moment. He felt the gaze looking past just his face. He remembered what he was talking about, but now he really didn’t want to go through it. “Cas, stop trying to read my mind, or whatever you’re doing.”
Cas seemed to snap out of a trance and looked curious now more than angry. “What are you afraid of Dean?”
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Then why are you running from me?”
“I’m not. I was just…”
“You were going to leave so you could think of something less ‘real’ to talk about. Why are you scared to talk to me Dean?”
Dean swallowed. His heart was racing. He felt like he was being attacked again and wanted to lash out at Castiel again, but thought better of it. He really didn’t want to push Cas away again. “Fine, I’ll talk. Just let me go.”
Castiel eyed Dean for a second, expecting him to run the second she let go. Her grip loosened and let his arm free, her fingers lightly brushing his as her arm dropped. Dean pulled his arm away and rubbed his abused wrist. He could see the light bruises forming already. He moved around and sat back on the couch. Cas sat next to him. “You’ve done a lot for all of us Cas. We owe you a lot.” Dean spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. “You mean a lot to us.” Me. “And I had hoped you were alive after the explosion. I wanted to believe Cas.” Dean glanced over at Cas sitting silently, watching him. “I just have never been very good with the whole faith thing. You know that.”
“Are you saying that I should have been more clear with you about my survival? I told you…”
Dean raised a hand to cut Cas off. “I know. I’m not blaming you. I…” Dean stopped and looked down, trying to somehow find the right words on the floor. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I’m glad you’re back.” Dean meets Castiel’s eye, “Truly.” Cas nodded and looked away, seeming to accept what he said. Dean let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “So what have you been doing?”
“Watching.” Dean huffed. “Not you Dean. I’ve been wandering around the earth, watching how people interact, behave, live.”
“How was that?”
Cas smiled slightly. “Interesting.” Dean laughed. Cas smiled fully now.
“You know, you seem a lot more expressive than you used to be Cas.”
Cas shrugged. “I don’t need to pretend that I don’t feel anything anymore. I can do whatever I want.”
“So what are you gonna do with all that freedom?” Dean leaned back against the couch, feeling sleep pulling him back to the comfort of the couch.
Castiel seemed to contemplate that for a moment. “I want to experience the world. I want to see all the beauty of my father’s creation. Feel everything that goes with it.”
Dean yawned, “So you kinda want the whole human experience?” Dean slowly laid back down falling asleep as he
talked.
Cas nodded. “I guess.” Cas looked down to see Dean asleep. She smiled and watched Dean’s seemingly peaceful face. It didn’t take long for his eyes to begin shifting quickly and his hands gripped the couch with a death grip. He started moaning and curling up into himself. She knew he was dreaming of Hell. She leaned over Dean and placed a hand on his forehead. He immediately stilled and relaxed. Cas made sure he would have a dreamless night of sleep. She gently moved a couple stray hairs off of his forehead before pulling her hand back. She sat in silence as Dean slept.
Dean awoke slowly, feeling like he had just fallen asleep, but the sun light coming through the windows told him it was late morning. Wow, he managed to sleep through the night for once. He stretched his sore muscles while sitting up. He heard the distant sound of Sam’s voice coming from the kitchen. Then he smelled it. How had he missed that? Something was definitely burning but it smelled good at the same time. Dean stood up and made his way to the kitchen. He did not expect to see what was waiting for him.
Sam was leaning over the stove where a frying pan was sizzling. What surprised Dean more was Cas standing next to Sam without the trenchcoat moving the contents of the pan around. Sam was saying something to Cas, who nodded and flipped something in the pan. Dean looked around the room and saw Cas’ coat draped over a chair and a plate of black bacon sitting on the table. That’s what he smelled. How could he not recognize bacon? He moved a little closer to the two at the stove.
Sam heard him approaching and glanced back to smile at his brother. “Hey Dean, how did you sleep?”
Dean leaned against the counter beside Castiel. He smiled at the concentration Cas had while watching the bacon. She was wearing Bobby’s “Kiss the Cook” apron and had her red hair pulled back into a loose ponytail.
“What are you doing Cas?”
Without looking away from the pan Cas replied, “Sam is teaching me how to cook.”
“Why? It’s not like you’ll ever need to.”
“Cooking is part of the human experience is it not?”
Dean shrugged. “I guess. Whatever makes you happy Cas.” Dean smacked her on the shoulder and sat at the table, sliding the plate of burned bacon toward him. He eyed the pieces for a few seconds. He’d eaten worse. He moved to grab a piece.
“Dean don’t eat those, they’re really burned.” Sam was making an ick face. “We’ll have good ones here in a second.”
Dean grabbed a piece and looked it over. “I don’t mind. I like my bacon a little crunchy anyway.” He promptly bit off about half the strip and chewed it. It really didn’t taste too bad. Dean finished off the few burned strips. “Where’s Bobby?”
“Someone called him earlier about something. I’m not sure who, but he seemed worried. He said we could hang out here as long as we didn’t burn anything down. That’s good, I think they’re done.” Sam turned off the stove and moved the pan.
“He warned you about burning down the house and you let Cas cook?” He got a bitchface for that. He smiled.
Sam looked back to see Cas picking up some bacon out of the pan with her fingers and taking a bite. “Cas,” Sam reached forward and moved the pan away from her, “you can’t just eat the bacon out of the pan like that.”
“Why not?”
Sam slid the bacon onto a plate and set the pan in the sink. “Because, at least for humans, we prefer not to burn the skin off our hands and tongue.”
Cas swallowed and nodded. “But I’m an angel.”
Sam smiled, “Yeah, I know, but if you want to learn like a human let the bacon cool first.”
Dean shook his head. Teaching an angel how to act like a human, Dean never thought he would see that. “So Cas, what else do you want to learn besides cooking bacon?”
“Everything.” Cas turned to Dean with wide eyes of a five year old who was told they could have all the candy in the candy store.
Dean laughed and stood up. “All right, what should we do first?”
Dean and Sam spent the next few days exposing Castiel to all things human. They took her to crappy diners, movies, and on her insistence started teaching her to drive. She spent every morning learning a different breakfast to make. The three of them were actually enjoying themselves. Dean couldn’t remember a time he had had so much fun with his brother ever since the night he took him from Stanford. Cas was loosening up as well, she was smiling and laughing a lot. Dean was still a little wary to let her behind the wheel of his baby though. So when she wanted to learn to drive Sam volunteered one of Bobby’s many to choose from in his lot.
Cas was definitely not a good driver. She either went too fast and almost flipped the car or drove too slow. Sam tried to be encouraging. “It’s alright Cas, nobody can just hop in a car and drive perfectly the first time.”
Cas seemed irritated at her inability to master driving immediately. “I want to keep trying. I caught on to everything else so quickly.” She put her hands in her coat pockets and followed Sam. They were almost in the house when Castiel suddenly stopped. Dean had been walking behind her and bumped into her when she stopped.
“Whoa Cas, you can’t just stop like that.” Dean stepped beside her but stopped when he saw the look on her face. She looked like she was listening to some far off sound.
“Cas, what is it?” Sam put a hand on her shoulder.
Cas didn’t move, her eyes unfocused and her back stiffened. Her eyes then snapped to Dean. “I have to leave.”
“Cas…” Without any more warning, she was gone. The brothers both sighed. “I guess you can teach angels a lot but they still leave whenever they want to.” Dean walked back inside with Sam close behind.
A few days had passed since Castiel had made her sudden disappearance. Dean and Sam had tried calling her a couple times but she wasn’t answering. Dean was beginning to worry. If Cas was in trouble she should come to them for help.
Dean was relaxing in his motel room trying to find an entertaining show on television. We was considering going out to one of the local bars when Cas appeared in front of the television. Dean dropped the remote.
“Cas, what happened?”
Castiel looked tired. Her hair was a mess and her coat was falling off her left arm. “I had to take care of something.”
“I can see that. Are you okay?” Cas nodded slowly and walked to the foot of the bed. She closed her eyes and hunched over a little. Dean stood up and grabbed her arms. “Cas.”
She shook her head, “No, Dean I’m fine.” She brushed his hands off. “I think I just need to sit.” She started to sit when Dean took hold of her again.
“Here, let’s take this off first.” Dean slid the trench coat off Castiel’s arms and threw it on Sam’s bed.
Cas sat on the edge of the bed taking deep breaths. Dean sat next to her. “What happened?”
Cas took another breath. “One of the angels called me away.” Cas shifted and looked at her feet as she spoke. One indication Dean had learned that meant she was lying.
Dean licked his lips and nodded. “Really? What was so important? I thought all the angels were happy in Heaven and doing whatever.”
Castiel shifted again. “Someone was trying to make trouble. I had to go help stop it. That’s why I couldn’t answer your calls Dean. I needed to help smooth everything over.”
“I thought the whole point of your disguise was to not need to be a leader up there anymore.”
Cas nodded. “Yeah, it was.” Cas grunted in pain and leaned forward again.
Dean stood immediately and knelt in front of Cas. He put his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Castiel’s eyes were closed and she was breathing quickly through her nose. “Did you get injured up there
Cas?” Cas reached out and leaned on Dean’s shoulder. Her head bowed till she was almost touching her knees.
“Cas, talk to me.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Dean stood, “Lay down.” Dean moved and gently pushed Cas onto her side. She curled up on the bed and kept taking long deep breaths. “Can I help in any way Cas?”
She shook her head, “No. Just give me a minute.” Dean sat beside her on the bed. He felt so helpless. Someone must have hurt Cas and she was too proud to tell Dean the truth. He would try to get the truth out of her later.
Ten minutes passed and Cas didn’t look any better. Dean slipped his boots off and sat against the headboard of his bed. Castiel tried to move to give him more room but Dean grabbed her and pulled her closer. She put her head on his knees and practically curled around his leg. Dean was about to comment when another wave of pain hit and Cas’ grip tightened around his legs. He heard a pained whine escape her. He didn’t know what was happening or how to help, so he laid a hand over one of hers and ran his other hand through her hair.
“It’s alright Cas. I’m here. You’ll be okay.”
Her grip tightened even more and Dean felt his jeans grow wet with tears escaping her eyes. Dean’s heart twisted. He had never heard Cas cry. The sight broke his heart. He didn’t know what to do. “Cas, what’s happening? Maybe I can do something to stop it.” Her whole body shook as her sobs finally passed her lips. Dean bit his lip to stop from letting his own emotion out.
“There’s nothing you can do Dean.” Cas looked up at Dean, tears staining her face. “What’s happening,” she stopped as another wave of pain hit her. “What’s happening, you can’t stop.”
“Bull! If someone’s doing this to you I’ll kill them. That’ll stop it.” Dean tensed in anger with the thought of some bastard doing this to Cas.
Cas took Dean’s arm. “No it wouldn’t Dean. I…” Cas screamed and fell back on the bed. She curled up again and grabbed her stomach. Her screams grew in volume. Lights in the room started flashing and the television turned on. Dean grabbed Cas again and pulled her up against him. He put her head against his chest and held her tight.
“Shh, Cas please there has to be something that will help. Anything.” He rocked her a little. Her hands gripped his shirt tightly, Dean could feel the fabric ripping. Her screams were muffled now, he just hoped no one in the neighboring rooms called the cops.
Suddenly everything stopped. All the lights went back to normal and the TV turned off. Cas fell silent and let go of Dean’s shirt. Her body fell limp in his arms. Dean pulled her back afraid he would have to live through another death of Castiel. Her eyes were open but looked distant like she was half asleep.
Dean cupped her face, “Cas, you with me?” Her eyes shifted and found Dean’s. She nodded slightly. “What just happened?”
Cas shook her head and blinked a few times. “Dean.” She reached forward and started searching around in Dean’s jacket.
Dean jumped, “What are you doin’ Cas?” Her hands were searching for something. She moved and ended up straddling Dean leaning into him searching around his jacket. “Cas.” Dean could feel heat rising up his neck and being left every place her hand brushed. She was too focused on her search to notice Dean’s reddening face. She then looked past Dean and leaned past him, slipping her hand under his pillow. Her free hand was resting on Dean’s chest, pushing him back against the headboard as she leaned past him. “Cas.” His voice was lower than he expected it to be. She turned her head. “What are you looking for?” Instead of answering, Cas sat up and lifted Dean’s knife into his view.
Before Dean could ask another question, Cas moved off his lap and cut into her arm. She covered her hand in the blood and started painting a sigil on the wall. Dean moved out of her way and watched.
When the mark was done, Castiel seemed to relax. She dropped the knife on the floor and sat. “What’s that for?” Dean had never seen that sigil before.
“It should protect me from the person harming me.” Cas leaned against the headboard and shut her eyes.
“Who is that?” Dean was already forming some good ideas of how to deal with this person.
“Not now Dean. I’ll tell you tomorrow. I need to rest.” Dean was about to speak up when Cas moved to lay flat on the bed and closed her eyes. After everything Cas had gone through earlier, Dean decided to wait. If Cas needed to sleep, she must really be hurt.
Dean stepped outside to call Sam. If anyone could sweet talk someone into admitting something, it was Sam. He just hoped nothing too serious was happening to Cas.
Sam had shown up about an hour after Dean called and fallen asleep about an hour after that. Cas had still been sleeping, but Dean was not willing to fall asleep now. He stayed up and waited. All the possibilities of what and who was doing this to Cas ran through his mind. He knew she had been lying about an angel calling her away. It made him wonder what else she was hiding.
It was just before dawn when Cas stirred. Dean was by her side in an instant. “How do you feel?”
“Much better.” She sat up and stretched.
“Are you gonna tell me the truth now?” Cas looked confused. “You know, about what’s really happening to you and who’s doing it?”
Castiel closed her eyes. “It’s Crowley.”
“Crowley? What is he doing?”
Castiel stood and walked around to stand beside Sam’s sleeping form. She turned back to Dean and said, “He is trying to take my grace.”
Dean raised his eyebrows and his mouth dropped open in shock. “What?” Dean stood.
“Crowley is attempting to rip my grace from my body.”
“Why?”
Cas shuffled her feet and looked away from Dean. “He is trying to hold up part of our deal.”
“What do you mean?”
Castiel was torn. She wanted to tell Dean everything but she was ashamed to admit how much she had bargained away with Crowley. She moved to walk past Dean, wanting to just escape.
Dean saw Cas making a break for the door and wasn’t about to let her leave. He grabbed her arm and turned her to look at him. “Tell me Cas. What kind of deal did you make with Crowley?”
Cas looked into Dean’s eyes. She really didn’t want to tell him. She could see everything there in his eyes. All of his stubborn determination to get his answer, his fear for her life, and something else, something deeper. “Dean,” her voice cracked.
His grip tightened, “Cas, please I can help you.”
She nodded. He probably could, but so far Crowley had kept away from both Sam and Dean and she really didn’t want to bring them right to him. She pulled her arm free of Dean, “My original deal with Crowley was for a partnership to open purgatory and split the souls between us. He didn’t believe he had any leverage over me though. He knew I could kill him at any second, but he couldn’t hurt me.” She stopped. She wanted to leave it at that. But she knew Dean needed to hear everything. Cas took a breath, “He then offered to keep away from you and your brother if I agreed to give him something in the end.”
“Your grace.”
“Yes. It was meant to be after I defeated Raphael. Once I had Heaven set right, he would take it.”
Dean let the information sink in. Cas had offered up his grace to keep him and Sam safe. Cas had always done so much for them, but Dean had never really known how much. “That’s why you faked your death? To keep Crowley away?”
“Partly. I had told Crowley our deal was off. That was why he went to Raphael. He needed an angel to open purgatory, he couldn’t do it by himself. But I also wanted my freedom from Heaven.”
“So what are we going to do?”
Castiel thought a moment. “I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago. I’ll find Crowley’s bones and kill him.”
Dean smiled, “For real this time?”
Castiel nodded. “Fill in Sam, get the colt, and wait for me to tell you where to go.” Castiel took the stance that usually signaled a fly-off.
“Cas, wait.” Cas stopped and looked expectantly at Dean. “I know this is probably long overdue but,” Dean licked his lips, wondering why it was so hard to say the next couple words especially when it was for someone he cared about so much, “thank you for everything you’ve done…for me and Sam.”
A slight smile came across Castiel’s face. “You’re welcome, Dean. I would do it all again…for you.” The two shared a look for a moment before the flap of wings left Dean alone staring at an empty spot with his brother sleeping, oblivious next to him. Dean would give Sam another hour of sleep before they needed to set off and save the angel who had done the same for them more times than he could count.
TBC-http://pelagia911.livejournal.com/4126.html
Author: pelagia911
Rating: PG (This Chapter)
Genre: Gen, hurt/comfort (ish, more so later on)
Pairing and Characters: Dean/female!Cas (Dean/fallen!female!Cas later), Sam, Bobby, Crowley (eventually)
Spoilers: Everything through 6x20
Warnings: None that I can think of
Word Count: 3,986 (this chapter)WIP
Note: Just a little story that came out of nowhere a couple days ago. My first Supernatural fic and it’s growing bigger than I thought it would.
Summary: Set in an AU after the end of Season 6. I’m making up how it will end and this is the aftermath. Dean has to deal with what happens to Castiel and he is surprised how Cas changes.
The case had been pretty straightforward. A vengeful spirit picking off the people responsible for their death. With Bobby’s help, they had burned the bones and saved a few people within a week. Dean was catching up on some sleep on Bobby’s couch when the sound of wings and a change in atmosphere woke him from his light sleep. Dean didn’t need to look to see who it was.
“Hello Dean.” Her voice was softer than their last meeting. She sounded sad. Dean propped himself up on the arm of the couch. He could barely make out the outline of Cas’ hair in the dark. Her head was down.
“Cas, what’s wrong?” He heard her feet shuffle a little closer. The moon light coming through the windows hit her face and let Dean see how upset she looked. He also noticed her trenchcoat was open, revealing a black and white dress shirt underneath the belt around her waist showing her slim figure.
“I’m sorry Dean. I should have told you about what I was doing earlier.”
Dean let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re apologizing to me, Cas really?” Castiel looked up in confusion. Dean rubbed his eyes. “Wow. Look, don’t apologize. I get it. I should be apologizing, for so many things.” Cas moved closer and sat on the couch by Dean’s feet. She stared at her hands for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. Dean sat up farther and crossed his legs. “You have done a lot,” Dean stopped. He didn’t know what he was about to say, but he was afraid it was going to be a little too much like a cheesy movie to do it without some kind of drink. He stood and moved for the kitchen. When he passed Castiel, a small yet iron strong hand grabbed his wrist.
Dean looked to see Cas holding his arm in place looking up at him. “Dean,” Cas pulled his arm, “sit.”
Dean laughed nervously, “I’m just getting a drink Cas. I’ll be right back.” He took a step toward the kitchen again when Cas pulled him harder, making him stumble back a step.
“No, sit.” Dean turned to face Cas sitting on the couch. Her hard stare left Dean speechless. But Dean being stubborn as he is made no move to sit. They stared at each other for a moment, daring the other to speak or move first. Cas’ grip tightened slightly as her eyes narrowed. She pulled on Dean’s arm as she stood. “What were you going to say Dean?”
“I don’t remember.” Dean tried to pull his arm away and was met with another rough pull and glare. “Let me go.”
Cas’ eyes searched Dean’s for a moment. He felt the gaze looking past just his face. He remembered what he was talking about, but now he really didn’t want to go through it. “Cas, stop trying to read my mind, or whatever you’re doing.”
Cas seemed to snap out of a trance and looked curious now more than angry. “What are you afraid of Dean?”
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Then why are you running from me?”
“I’m not. I was just…”
“You were going to leave so you could think of something less ‘real’ to talk about. Why are you scared to talk to me Dean?”
Dean swallowed. His heart was racing. He felt like he was being attacked again and wanted to lash out at Castiel again, but thought better of it. He really didn’t want to push Cas away again. “Fine, I’ll talk. Just let me go.”
Castiel eyed Dean for a second, expecting him to run the second she let go. Her grip loosened and let his arm free, her fingers lightly brushing his as her arm dropped. Dean pulled his arm away and rubbed his abused wrist. He could see the light bruises forming already. He moved around and sat back on the couch. Cas sat next to him. “You’ve done a lot for all of us Cas. We owe you a lot.” Dean spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully. “You mean a lot to us.” Me. “And I had hoped you were alive after the explosion. I wanted to believe Cas.” Dean glanced over at Cas sitting silently, watching him. “I just have never been very good with the whole faith thing. You know that.”
“Are you saying that I should have been more clear with you about my survival? I told you…”
Dean raised a hand to cut Cas off. “I know. I’m not blaming you. I…” Dean stopped and looked down, trying to somehow find the right words on the floor. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I’m glad you’re back.” Dean meets Castiel’s eye, “Truly.” Cas nodded and looked away, seeming to accept what he said. Dean let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “So what have you been doing?”
“Watching.” Dean huffed. “Not you Dean. I’ve been wandering around the earth, watching how people interact, behave, live.”
“How was that?”
Cas smiled slightly. “Interesting.” Dean laughed. Cas smiled fully now.
“You know, you seem a lot more expressive than you used to be Cas.”
Cas shrugged. “I don’t need to pretend that I don’t feel anything anymore. I can do whatever I want.”
“So what are you gonna do with all that freedom?” Dean leaned back against the couch, feeling sleep pulling him back to the comfort of the couch.
Castiel seemed to contemplate that for a moment. “I want to experience the world. I want to see all the beauty of my father’s creation. Feel everything that goes with it.”
Dean yawned, “So you kinda want the whole human experience?” Dean slowly laid back down falling asleep as he
talked.
Cas nodded. “I guess.” Cas looked down to see Dean asleep. She smiled and watched Dean’s seemingly peaceful face. It didn’t take long for his eyes to begin shifting quickly and his hands gripped the couch with a death grip. He started moaning and curling up into himself. She knew he was dreaming of Hell. She leaned over Dean and placed a hand on his forehead. He immediately stilled and relaxed. Cas made sure he would have a dreamless night of sleep. She gently moved a couple stray hairs off of his forehead before pulling her hand back. She sat in silence as Dean slept.
Dean awoke slowly, feeling like he had just fallen asleep, but the sun light coming through the windows told him it was late morning. Wow, he managed to sleep through the night for once. He stretched his sore muscles while sitting up. He heard the distant sound of Sam’s voice coming from the kitchen. Then he smelled it. How had he missed that? Something was definitely burning but it smelled good at the same time. Dean stood up and made his way to the kitchen. He did not expect to see what was waiting for him.
Sam was leaning over the stove where a frying pan was sizzling. What surprised Dean more was Cas standing next to Sam without the trenchcoat moving the contents of the pan around. Sam was saying something to Cas, who nodded and flipped something in the pan. Dean looked around the room and saw Cas’ coat draped over a chair and a plate of black bacon sitting on the table. That’s what he smelled. How could he not recognize bacon? He moved a little closer to the two at the stove.
Sam heard him approaching and glanced back to smile at his brother. “Hey Dean, how did you sleep?”
Dean leaned against the counter beside Castiel. He smiled at the concentration Cas had while watching the bacon. She was wearing Bobby’s “Kiss the Cook” apron and had her red hair pulled back into a loose ponytail.
“What are you doing Cas?”
Without looking away from the pan Cas replied, “Sam is teaching me how to cook.”
“Why? It’s not like you’ll ever need to.”
“Cooking is part of the human experience is it not?”
Dean shrugged. “I guess. Whatever makes you happy Cas.” Dean smacked her on the shoulder and sat at the table, sliding the plate of burned bacon toward him. He eyed the pieces for a few seconds. He’d eaten worse. He moved to grab a piece.
“Dean don’t eat those, they’re really burned.” Sam was making an ick face. “We’ll have good ones here in a second.”
Dean grabbed a piece and looked it over. “I don’t mind. I like my bacon a little crunchy anyway.” He promptly bit off about half the strip and chewed it. It really didn’t taste too bad. Dean finished off the few burned strips. “Where’s Bobby?”
“Someone called him earlier about something. I’m not sure who, but he seemed worried. He said we could hang out here as long as we didn’t burn anything down. That’s good, I think they’re done.” Sam turned off the stove and moved the pan.
“He warned you about burning down the house and you let Cas cook?” He got a bitchface for that. He smiled.
Sam looked back to see Cas picking up some bacon out of the pan with her fingers and taking a bite. “Cas,” Sam reached forward and moved the pan away from her, “you can’t just eat the bacon out of the pan like that.”
“Why not?”
Sam slid the bacon onto a plate and set the pan in the sink. “Because, at least for humans, we prefer not to burn the skin off our hands and tongue.”
Cas swallowed and nodded. “But I’m an angel.”
Sam smiled, “Yeah, I know, but if you want to learn like a human let the bacon cool first.”
Dean shook his head. Teaching an angel how to act like a human, Dean never thought he would see that. “So Cas, what else do you want to learn besides cooking bacon?”
“Everything.” Cas turned to Dean with wide eyes of a five year old who was told they could have all the candy in the candy store.
Dean laughed and stood up. “All right, what should we do first?”
Dean and Sam spent the next few days exposing Castiel to all things human. They took her to crappy diners, movies, and on her insistence started teaching her to drive. She spent every morning learning a different breakfast to make. The three of them were actually enjoying themselves. Dean couldn’t remember a time he had had so much fun with his brother ever since the night he took him from Stanford. Cas was loosening up as well, she was smiling and laughing a lot. Dean was still a little wary to let her behind the wheel of his baby though. So when she wanted to learn to drive Sam volunteered one of Bobby’s many to choose from in his lot.
Cas was definitely not a good driver. She either went too fast and almost flipped the car or drove too slow. Sam tried to be encouraging. “It’s alright Cas, nobody can just hop in a car and drive perfectly the first time.”
Cas seemed irritated at her inability to master driving immediately. “I want to keep trying. I caught on to everything else so quickly.” She put her hands in her coat pockets and followed Sam. They were almost in the house when Castiel suddenly stopped. Dean had been walking behind her and bumped into her when she stopped.
“Whoa Cas, you can’t just stop like that.” Dean stepped beside her but stopped when he saw the look on her face. She looked like she was listening to some far off sound.
“Cas, what is it?” Sam put a hand on her shoulder.
Cas didn’t move, her eyes unfocused and her back stiffened. Her eyes then snapped to Dean. “I have to leave.”
“Cas…” Without any more warning, she was gone. The brothers both sighed. “I guess you can teach angels a lot but they still leave whenever they want to.” Dean walked back inside with Sam close behind.
A few days had passed since Castiel had made her sudden disappearance. Dean and Sam had tried calling her a couple times but she wasn’t answering. Dean was beginning to worry. If Cas was in trouble she should come to them for help.
Dean was relaxing in his motel room trying to find an entertaining show on television. We was considering going out to one of the local bars when Cas appeared in front of the television. Dean dropped the remote.
“Cas, what happened?”
Castiel looked tired. Her hair was a mess and her coat was falling off her left arm. “I had to take care of something.”
“I can see that. Are you okay?” Cas nodded slowly and walked to the foot of the bed. She closed her eyes and hunched over a little. Dean stood up and grabbed her arms. “Cas.”
She shook her head, “No, Dean I’m fine.” She brushed his hands off. “I think I just need to sit.” She started to sit when Dean took hold of her again.
“Here, let’s take this off first.” Dean slid the trench coat off Castiel’s arms and threw it on Sam’s bed.
Cas sat on the edge of the bed taking deep breaths. Dean sat next to her. “What happened?”
Cas took another breath. “One of the angels called me away.” Cas shifted and looked at her feet as she spoke. One indication Dean had learned that meant she was lying.
Dean licked his lips and nodded. “Really? What was so important? I thought all the angels were happy in Heaven and doing whatever.”
Castiel shifted again. “Someone was trying to make trouble. I had to go help stop it. That’s why I couldn’t answer your calls Dean. I needed to help smooth everything over.”
“I thought the whole point of your disguise was to not need to be a leader up there anymore.”
Cas nodded. “Yeah, it was.” Cas grunted in pain and leaned forward again.
Dean stood immediately and knelt in front of Cas. He put his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Castiel’s eyes were closed and she was breathing quickly through her nose. “Did you get injured up there
Cas?” Cas reached out and leaned on Dean’s shoulder. Her head bowed till she was almost touching her knees.
“Cas, talk to me.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Dean stood, “Lay down.” Dean moved and gently pushed Cas onto her side. She curled up on the bed and kept taking long deep breaths. “Can I help in any way Cas?”
She shook her head, “No. Just give me a minute.” Dean sat beside her on the bed. He felt so helpless. Someone must have hurt Cas and she was too proud to tell Dean the truth. He would try to get the truth out of her later.
Ten minutes passed and Cas didn’t look any better. Dean slipped his boots off and sat against the headboard of his bed. Castiel tried to move to give him more room but Dean grabbed her and pulled her closer. She put her head on his knees and practically curled around his leg. Dean was about to comment when another wave of pain hit and Cas’ grip tightened around his legs. He heard a pained whine escape her. He didn’t know what was happening or how to help, so he laid a hand over one of hers and ran his other hand through her hair.
“It’s alright Cas. I’m here. You’ll be okay.”
Her grip tightened even more and Dean felt his jeans grow wet with tears escaping her eyes. Dean’s heart twisted. He had never heard Cas cry. The sight broke his heart. He didn’t know what to do. “Cas, what’s happening? Maybe I can do something to stop it.” Her whole body shook as her sobs finally passed her lips. Dean bit his lip to stop from letting his own emotion out.
“There’s nothing you can do Dean.” Cas looked up at Dean, tears staining her face. “What’s happening,” she stopped as another wave of pain hit her. “What’s happening, you can’t stop.”
“Bull! If someone’s doing this to you I’ll kill them. That’ll stop it.” Dean tensed in anger with the thought of some bastard doing this to Cas.
Cas took Dean’s arm. “No it wouldn’t Dean. I…” Cas screamed and fell back on the bed. She curled up again and grabbed her stomach. Her screams grew in volume. Lights in the room started flashing and the television turned on. Dean grabbed Cas again and pulled her up against him. He put her head against his chest and held her tight.
“Shh, Cas please there has to be something that will help. Anything.” He rocked her a little. Her hands gripped his shirt tightly, Dean could feel the fabric ripping. Her screams were muffled now, he just hoped no one in the neighboring rooms called the cops.
Suddenly everything stopped. All the lights went back to normal and the TV turned off. Cas fell silent and let go of Dean’s shirt. Her body fell limp in his arms. Dean pulled her back afraid he would have to live through another death of Castiel. Her eyes were open but looked distant like she was half asleep.
Dean cupped her face, “Cas, you with me?” Her eyes shifted and found Dean’s. She nodded slightly. “What just happened?”
Cas shook her head and blinked a few times. “Dean.” She reached forward and started searching around in Dean’s jacket.
Dean jumped, “What are you doin’ Cas?” Her hands were searching for something. She moved and ended up straddling Dean leaning into him searching around his jacket. “Cas.” Dean could feel heat rising up his neck and being left every place her hand brushed. She was too focused on her search to notice Dean’s reddening face. She then looked past Dean and leaned past him, slipping her hand under his pillow. Her free hand was resting on Dean’s chest, pushing him back against the headboard as she leaned past him. “Cas.” His voice was lower than he expected it to be. She turned her head. “What are you looking for?” Instead of answering, Cas sat up and lifted Dean’s knife into his view.
Before Dean could ask another question, Cas moved off his lap and cut into her arm. She covered her hand in the blood and started painting a sigil on the wall. Dean moved out of her way and watched.
When the mark was done, Castiel seemed to relax. She dropped the knife on the floor and sat. “What’s that for?” Dean had never seen that sigil before.
“It should protect me from the person harming me.” Cas leaned against the headboard and shut her eyes.
“Who is that?” Dean was already forming some good ideas of how to deal with this person.
“Not now Dean. I’ll tell you tomorrow. I need to rest.” Dean was about to speak up when Cas moved to lay flat on the bed and closed her eyes. After everything Cas had gone through earlier, Dean decided to wait. If Cas needed to sleep, she must really be hurt.
Dean stepped outside to call Sam. If anyone could sweet talk someone into admitting something, it was Sam. He just hoped nothing too serious was happening to Cas.
Sam had shown up about an hour after Dean called and fallen asleep about an hour after that. Cas had still been sleeping, but Dean was not willing to fall asleep now. He stayed up and waited. All the possibilities of what and who was doing this to Cas ran through his mind. He knew she had been lying about an angel calling her away. It made him wonder what else she was hiding.
It was just before dawn when Cas stirred. Dean was by her side in an instant. “How do you feel?”
“Much better.” She sat up and stretched.
“Are you gonna tell me the truth now?” Cas looked confused. “You know, about what’s really happening to you and who’s doing it?”
Castiel closed her eyes. “It’s Crowley.”
“Crowley? What is he doing?”
Castiel stood and walked around to stand beside Sam’s sleeping form. She turned back to Dean and said, “He is trying to take my grace.”
Dean raised his eyebrows and his mouth dropped open in shock. “What?” Dean stood.
“Crowley is attempting to rip my grace from my body.”
“Why?”
Cas shuffled her feet and looked away from Dean. “He is trying to hold up part of our deal.”
“What do you mean?”
Castiel was torn. She wanted to tell Dean everything but she was ashamed to admit how much she had bargained away with Crowley. She moved to walk past Dean, wanting to just escape.
Dean saw Cas making a break for the door and wasn’t about to let her leave. He grabbed her arm and turned her to look at him. “Tell me Cas. What kind of deal did you make with Crowley?”
Cas looked into Dean’s eyes. She really didn’t want to tell him. She could see everything there in his eyes. All of his stubborn determination to get his answer, his fear for her life, and something else, something deeper. “Dean,” her voice cracked.
His grip tightened, “Cas, please I can help you.”
She nodded. He probably could, but so far Crowley had kept away from both Sam and Dean and she really didn’t want to bring them right to him. She pulled her arm free of Dean, “My original deal with Crowley was for a partnership to open purgatory and split the souls between us. He didn’t believe he had any leverage over me though. He knew I could kill him at any second, but he couldn’t hurt me.” She stopped. She wanted to leave it at that. But she knew Dean needed to hear everything. Cas took a breath, “He then offered to keep away from you and your brother if I agreed to give him something in the end.”
“Your grace.”
“Yes. It was meant to be after I defeated Raphael. Once I had Heaven set right, he would take it.”
Dean let the information sink in. Cas had offered up his grace to keep him and Sam safe. Cas had always done so much for them, but Dean had never really known how much. “That’s why you faked your death? To keep Crowley away?”
“Partly. I had told Crowley our deal was off. That was why he went to Raphael. He needed an angel to open purgatory, he couldn’t do it by himself. But I also wanted my freedom from Heaven.”
“So what are we going to do?”
Castiel thought a moment. “I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago. I’ll find Crowley’s bones and kill him.”
Dean smiled, “For real this time?”
Castiel nodded. “Fill in Sam, get the colt, and wait for me to tell you where to go.” Castiel took the stance that usually signaled a fly-off.
“Cas, wait.” Cas stopped and looked expectantly at Dean. “I know this is probably long overdue but,” Dean licked his lips, wondering why it was so hard to say the next couple words especially when it was for someone he cared about so much, “thank you for everything you’ve done…for me and Sam.”
A slight smile came across Castiel’s face. “You’re welcome, Dean. I would do it all again…for you.” The two shared a look for a moment before the flap of wings left Dean alone staring at an empty spot with his brother sleeping, oblivious next to him. Dean would give Sam another hour of sleep before they needed to set off and save the angel who had done the same for them more times than he could count.
TBC-http://pelagia911.livejournal.com/4126.html