the romance novel of our dreams
So in the comments to my last entry, impertinence and I started discussing the concept of what a Gerard/Ray historical AU would look like if it was actually a Regency romance novel and also Gerard was a chick.
It might not surprise you to learn we had a lot of thoughts on this topic. Long comment threads are kind of a huge pain, so I pasted it all together and cleaned it up a tiny bit so it's slightly easier to read. Um, it's not a story. It is a ridiculous, handwavey outline of melodramatic schmoop.
&our brains;
pearl_o: GERARD/RAY ARRANGED MARRIAGE OMG. Gerard and Mikey are higher class but their guardian or father or whoever wasted away their inheritance on gambling debts and Gerard has to marry Ray who is not noble but kind of rich to take care of him and Mikey! And then they fall in looooooooove.
impertinence: !!!! (is Gerard a girl or a guy?)
Gerard is expecting Ray to force him into something, but Ray is kind and respectful! Gerard can't logically share a room with Mikey, but he spends most of his time with him, until the day he catches Ray playing piano in the drawing room. He's entranced! Ray has Layers!
pearl_o: I could go for it either way! If Gerard was a give that would mean there could be a scene where Gerard goes off to lie back and think of England because he owes Ray sons, even if he doesn't love him, that's his duty, the whole point is him giving Ray an heir, and Ray is horrified and refuses to consummate the marriage.
OH MAN, and they totally live out on Gerard and Mikey's family home, where they spent their childhood with their dead grandma, and it's fallen into total shambles while the faimly's fortunes fell, and Ray is spending all this money to fix it up again to the way it used to be. And he totally grew up in a poorer place in the same region, so he really loves that country toooooo.
impertinence: I definitely want Gerard to be a girl in this AU. Because she'd be so upset! It's her duty! And she's been fed stories about what men do to women who try to refuse, and it's not like she thinks Ray is the type to later accuse her of denying him, but she's scared! And in some ways it's easier than assuming he just flat out doesn't want her.
AWW RAY. He's totally attached to them, isn't he? he hires workers, of course, but they do something like start ripping apart their grandma's private rooms and Ray flips out.
...and possibly takes his shirt off for thinly contrived reasons so Gee can ogle.
The thing is, if they don't consummate the marriage, if Gee doesn't give Ray a son, that means it's not real yet. Ray could just end it anytime he wants and throw her and Mikey back out on the street, you know?
Ray and Mikey slowly become friends, too, while Gee is still freaking out all the time, and that's one of the things that softens her to look more closely at Ray, since Mikey obviously thinks he's good people somehow. And then one morning she asks him at breakfast if he wants to accompany her on her morning ride, and his entire face just LIGHTS UP and he stammers something out and drops his fork in his lap.
Ray is so nervous the next morning! He tries to help her into the saddle but she mounts before she realizes what he's doing, and they both wind up embarrassed. Ray's not as good on horseback as she is, and she half expects him to disapprove to the point where she'll have to pretend to be clumsy, but instead he's all admiration.
What Gee doesn't realize is that she's honestly happy, forgetting all her paranoia long enough to smile and joke a little, and Ray wants to kiss so badly, but he can't take advantage! so he PINES.
meanwhile, in the background, Mikey should somehow be getting wooed by Pete.
Mikey likes Pete but doesn't take him at all seriously, but Pete keeps trying.
One day there is a storm that comes up right in the middle of Gee's morning ride, and she's not back yet and Ray panics and goes off to find her. Whereupon Gee shows up perfectly fine in the stable again, but Ray wanders around in the storm for hours looking for her and when he comes back he gets all sick from being in the rain and cold for so long. He's all confined to bed. Gee nervously comes to visit him and offers to read to him by his bedside.
She's always thought her voice was kind of funny, not nearly as light and pleasant as a wife's should be, but Ray just smiles a little and tells her it's lovely, please continue. Gee's a little floored - he's complimenting her! WHY!
It sticks with her and drives her crazy, to the point where after he gets well she decides she's had enough. She corners him in the drawing room and says "You don't have to say things like that to me, you know. I'm yours in the eyes of God and the King."
Ray's pretty sure getting kicked in the stomach by her horse would have hurt less.
He's like "I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable. Please accept my apologies."
And Gee doesn't know why she feels hurt, either, or why the expression on his face makes her insides flutter, so she just opens her mouth to say something but she doesn't know what. And she's so frustrated she just says "I'm a grown woman, Mr. Toro, and I went into this with my eyes open. There's no need to pretend this is anything it isn't."
And Ray can't say anything to that at all.
Gee's agitated the rest of the day, and of course Mikey picks up on it. He listens to everything she has to say completely expressionless, before he says, "Do you think he's going to rape you?"
"Language, Mikey!" she says, but she's heard the word before, and she's pretty sure it's not that causing the horror in her stomach. "Of course I don't! He wouldn't."
Mikey nods. "Then he was just complimenting you."
She's frustrated! Mikey doesn't understand! "He doesn't have to. He's trying to make it better or easier or -"
But Mikey's decided she's just going to be stupid about it, so he shuts his mouth and goes back to reading.
And since this is a Regency AU, Ray is totally listening right outside the door, and doesn't hide quickly enough when Gee leaves a few minutes later.
They just stare at each other for a minute, both of them blushing, and then Gee turns around on her heel and head in the opposite direction. Ray goes back into the library and sits down next to Mikey. Mikey feels bad for him but he doesn't actually have any advice.
A couple of days after that Gee goes to Ray's bedroom at night in her little white nightgown and raises her chin high. And this time when Ray says "No, you don't have to, go back to your room" Gee gets angry. Because even if their marriage is a fraud, something has to be real, and even if they don't love each other, if they're ever going to find any kind of peace, Ray can't just be able to throw her out whenever he wants. (Gee totally thinks it will be easier if she has a baby to distract her, because Gee is stupid.)
And Ray is really sad but he finally gives in anyway and deflowers her, and it's really slow and sweet and nothing like Gee expected at all, and afterwards she's even more confused.
And of course Ray is just kind of miserable at this point, because on one hand, she's beautiful and he wants her so much - but on the other hand, he knows that no matter how good he could make it for her body, she doesn't really want to be with him. Angst!
After that, Gee lets herself relax a little more around him; their relationship is consummated and theoretically she could already be pregnant, so she and Mikey are much safer. It gets to the point where they're friendly but completely platonic during the day, but then three or four times a week Gee comes to Ray's room and they sleep together. What Gee won't admit is that she's starting to look forward to it; she can't separate them, really. The Ray who's gentle and always takes care of her in bed is the same Ray who's an amazing musician and friends with Mikey and essentially the exact sort of person Gee would marry of her own free will.
When Gee is pretty sure she *is* pregnant, she plans on letting Ray know right away, but then she just ... doesn't. And she keeps coming to Ray's room during the week even though there's no reason to now, right? Because that was the whole point. But she's doing it anyway, and waking up in the morning in his bed with his warm body next to her feels more natural now than her own room.
She would tell Mikey about the pregnancy, though. Ray could either find out when she loses the baby (all the doctors and drama!) or when Mikey accidentally spills the beans when Gee is doing something she probably shouldnt be doing in her condition.
Mikey lets it slip, and Ray is made of D:, but also just frustrated enough to not confront her about it until she comes to his rooms that night.
"Fifth night this week," he says quietly.
She doesn't know what to say, so she just nods and drops her robe.
He waits until she lies down next to him, then puts his hand on her stomach. She knows before he even opens his mouth what he's going to say. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Gee turns her head away from him, and doesn't say anything.
Ray sighs and leans over and kisses her belly, then rests his cheek against it.
"I didn't want things to change," Gee says, sounding a little choked. "I don't want to go back to how things were before."
"...Oh," Ray says. "Oh." He presses another kiss to her stomach and then arranges himself between her legs. She gasps a little in surprise when he puts his mouth on her inner thighs.
"What," she says, but then his mouth is on her and she can't think to say anything else.
He makes her come, of course, but what she isn't expecting is for him to keep going and push her over the edge again. She's shaking by the time he's done - it's too good, too much, is he trying to punish her for wanting so many shameful things?
He pulls her close and holds her. She can feel him hard against her, but he doesn't make a move to do anything about it, just strokes her back gently. "You'll always have me," he says quietly. "I've been amazed by you since I met you. Anything you want from me is yours."
She can't help starting to cry, which mortifies her a little; she hasn't done that since their grandmother died, she's been busy being strong for her and for Mikey.
But she can feel the wetness on Ray's cheeks, too, as he holds her close, and that makes it ... all right, almost. Somehow.
She takes a deep breath and whispers "I love you" into his hair.
And Ray's breath goes harsh and he turns his head and captures her mouth, kissing her harder than he ever has before, not gentle at all, just passionate.
And she likes it, of course. She doesn't even think, just tangles her fingers in his hair and kisses back. He pulls back and she makes a small, protesting noise, but he just smiles and says, "And I love you," and goes back to kissing her.
Which is all well and good, Gee thinks ten minutes later, but she'd like some of what she's sensing in the kisses to be present the next time he's in her.
It surprises even her how easy it is to pull back and spread her legs, smile up at him. "Please?"
He goes still, closing his eyes for a second and mouthing something she can't quite catch, and then he's pushing into her, filling her up completely.
"Mmmm," she starts to say, letting her head fall back lazily against the pillow. But Ray has his hands on her legs, pushing them back so she can wrap them around him, and that opens her up even more, brings him further into her, and she can't catch her breath
He rests his weight on his elbows, holding himself over her, but she can still feel all his warmth, the solidity of his body covering her like a blanket. She puts her arms around his neck, arching up so her breasts rub against his chest every time he thrusts into her.
"Lovely," Ray whispers, "so lovely, so, Gee..."
He kisses her then, thrusts hard and reaches down to touch her. She presses them together as much as she can, touches him everywhere she can reach, because he's hers, he said so, and it's the best thing she's ever been given.
"Please," she whispers, "it's almost enough, please give me - please." She tenses her muscles around him, watching his face; when he flushes and pants, she does it again.
"God," Ray says, voice high and tight, and he comes in her.
It pushes her over the edge. She clings to him, kissing his neck and thanking God and anyone else listening for what she's been given.
THE END.
[And Mikey stays with them until the baby is a few months old and then elopes with Pete to the continent. But they end up coming back and living a few miles away. AND EVERYBODY LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
THE END FOR REAL.]
It might not surprise you to learn we had a lot of thoughts on this topic. Long comment threads are kind of a huge pain, so I pasted it all together and cleaned it up a tiny bit so it's slightly easier to read. Um, it's not a story. It is a ridiculous, handwavey outline of melodramatic schmoop.
&our brains;
pearl_o: GERARD/RAY ARRANGED MARRIAGE OMG. Gerard and Mikey are higher class but their guardian or father or whoever wasted away their inheritance on gambling debts and Gerard has to marry Ray who is not noble but kind of rich to take care of him and Mikey! And then they fall in looooooooove.
impertinence: !!!! (is Gerard a girl or a guy?)
Gerard is expecting Ray to force him into something, but Ray is kind and respectful! Gerard can't logically share a room with Mikey, but he spends most of his time with him, until the day he catches Ray playing piano in the drawing room. He's entranced! Ray has Layers!
pearl_o: I could go for it either way! If Gerard was a give that would mean there could be a scene where Gerard goes off to lie back and think of England because he owes Ray sons, even if he doesn't love him, that's his duty, the whole point is him giving Ray an heir, and Ray is horrified and refuses to consummate the marriage.
OH MAN, and they totally live out on Gerard and Mikey's family home, where they spent their childhood with their dead grandma, and it's fallen into total shambles while the faimly's fortunes fell, and Ray is spending all this money to fix it up again to the way it used to be. And he totally grew up in a poorer place in the same region, so he really loves that country toooooo.
impertinence: I definitely want Gerard to be a girl in this AU. Because she'd be so upset! It's her duty! And she's been fed stories about what men do to women who try to refuse, and it's not like she thinks Ray is the type to later accuse her of denying him, but she's scared! And in some ways it's easier than assuming he just flat out doesn't want her.
AWW RAY. He's totally attached to them, isn't he? he hires workers, of course, but they do something like start ripping apart their grandma's private rooms and Ray flips out.
...and possibly takes his shirt off for thinly contrived reasons so Gee can ogle.
The thing is, if they don't consummate the marriage, if Gee doesn't give Ray a son, that means it's not real yet. Ray could just end it anytime he wants and throw her and Mikey back out on the street, you know?
Ray and Mikey slowly become friends, too, while Gee is still freaking out all the time, and that's one of the things that softens her to look more closely at Ray, since Mikey obviously thinks he's good people somehow. And then one morning she asks him at breakfast if he wants to accompany her on her morning ride, and his entire face just LIGHTS UP and he stammers something out and drops his fork in his lap.
Ray is so nervous the next morning! He tries to help her into the saddle but she mounts before she realizes what he's doing, and they both wind up embarrassed. Ray's not as good on horseback as she is, and she half expects him to disapprove to the point where she'll have to pretend to be clumsy, but instead he's all admiration.
What Gee doesn't realize is that she's honestly happy, forgetting all her paranoia long enough to smile and joke a little, and Ray wants to kiss so badly, but he can't take advantage! so he PINES.
meanwhile, in the background, Mikey should somehow be getting wooed by Pete.
Mikey likes Pete but doesn't take him at all seriously, but Pete keeps trying.
One day there is a storm that comes up right in the middle of Gee's morning ride, and she's not back yet and Ray panics and goes off to find her. Whereupon Gee shows up perfectly fine in the stable again, but Ray wanders around in the storm for hours looking for her and when he comes back he gets all sick from being in the rain and cold for so long. He's all confined to bed. Gee nervously comes to visit him and offers to read to him by his bedside.
She's always thought her voice was kind of funny, not nearly as light and pleasant as a wife's should be, but Ray just smiles a little and tells her it's lovely, please continue. Gee's a little floored - he's complimenting her! WHY!
It sticks with her and drives her crazy, to the point where after he gets well she decides she's had enough. She corners him in the drawing room and says "You don't have to say things like that to me, you know. I'm yours in the eyes of God and the King."
Ray's pretty sure getting kicked in the stomach by her horse would have hurt less.
He's like "I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable. Please accept my apologies."
And Gee doesn't know why she feels hurt, either, or why the expression on his face makes her insides flutter, so she just opens her mouth to say something but she doesn't know what. And she's so frustrated she just says "I'm a grown woman, Mr. Toro, and I went into this with my eyes open. There's no need to pretend this is anything it isn't."
And Ray can't say anything to that at all.
Gee's agitated the rest of the day, and of course Mikey picks up on it. He listens to everything she has to say completely expressionless, before he says, "Do you think he's going to rape you?"
"Language, Mikey!" she says, but she's heard the word before, and she's pretty sure it's not that causing the horror in her stomach. "Of course I don't! He wouldn't."
Mikey nods. "Then he was just complimenting you."
She's frustrated! Mikey doesn't understand! "He doesn't have to. He's trying to make it better or easier or -"
But Mikey's decided she's just going to be stupid about it, so he shuts his mouth and goes back to reading.
And since this is a Regency AU, Ray is totally listening right outside the door, and doesn't hide quickly enough when Gee leaves a few minutes later.
They just stare at each other for a minute, both of them blushing, and then Gee turns around on her heel and head in the opposite direction. Ray goes back into the library and sits down next to Mikey. Mikey feels bad for him but he doesn't actually have any advice.
A couple of days after that Gee goes to Ray's bedroom at night in her little white nightgown and raises her chin high. And this time when Ray says "No, you don't have to, go back to your room" Gee gets angry. Because even if their marriage is a fraud, something has to be real, and even if they don't love each other, if they're ever going to find any kind of peace, Ray can't just be able to throw her out whenever he wants. (Gee totally thinks it will be easier if she has a baby to distract her, because Gee is stupid.)
And Ray is really sad but he finally gives in anyway and deflowers her, and it's really slow and sweet and nothing like Gee expected at all, and afterwards she's even more confused.
And of course Ray is just kind of miserable at this point, because on one hand, she's beautiful and he wants her so much - but on the other hand, he knows that no matter how good he could make it for her body, she doesn't really want to be with him. Angst!
After that, Gee lets herself relax a little more around him; their relationship is consummated and theoretically she could already be pregnant, so she and Mikey are much safer. It gets to the point where they're friendly but completely platonic during the day, but then three or four times a week Gee comes to Ray's room and they sleep together. What Gee won't admit is that she's starting to look forward to it; she can't separate them, really. The Ray who's gentle and always takes care of her in bed is the same Ray who's an amazing musician and friends with Mikey and essentially the exact sort of person Gee would marry of her own free will.
When Gee is pretty sure she *is* pregnant, she plans on letting Ray know right away, but then she just ... doesn't. And she keeps coming to Ray's room during the week even though there's no reason to now, right? Because that was the whole point. But she's doing it anyway, and waking up in the morning in his bed with his warm body next to her feels more natural now than her own room.
She would tell Mikey about the pregnancy, though. Ray could either find out when she loses the baby (all the doctors and drama!) or when Mikey accidentally spills the beans when Gee is doing something she probably shouldnt be doing in her condition.
Mikey lets it slip, and Ray is made of D:, but also just frustrated enough to not confront her about it until she comes to his rooms that night.
"Fifth night this week," he says quietly.
She doesn't know what to say, so she just nods and drops her robe.
He waits until she lies down next to him, then puts his hand on her stomach. She knows before he even opens his mouth what he's going to say. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Gee turns her head away from him, and doesn't say anything.
Ray sighs and leans over and kisses her belly, then rests his cheek against it.
"I didn't want things to change," Gee says, sounding a little choked. "I don't want to go back to how things were before."
"...Oh," Ray says. "Oh." He presses another kiss to her stomach and then arranges himself between her legs. She gasps a little in surprise when he puts his mouth on her inner thighs.
"What," she says, but then his mouth is on her and she can't think to say anything else.
He makes her come, of course, but what she isn't expecting is for him to keep going and push her over the edge again. She's shaking by the time he's done - it's too good, too much, is he trying to punish her for wanting so many shameful things?
He pulls her close and holds her. She can feel him hard against her, but he doesn't make a move to do anything about it, just strokes her back gently. "You'll always have me," he says quietly. "I've been amazed by you since I met you. Anything you want from me is yours."
She can't help starting to cry, which mortifies her a little; she hasn't done that since their grandmother died, she's been busy being strong for her and for Mikey.
But she can feel the wetness on Ray's cheeks, too, as he holds her close, and that makes it ... all right, almost. Somehow.
She takes a deep breath and whispers "I love you" into his hair.
And Ray's breath goes harsh and he turns his head and captures her mouth, kissing her harder than he ever has before, not gentle at all, just passionate.
And she likes it, of course. She doesn't even think, just tangles her fingers in his hair and kisses back. He pulls back and she makes a small, protesting noise, but he just smiles and says, "And I love you," and goes back to kissing her.
Which is all well and good, Gee thinks ten minutes later, but she'd like some of what she's sensing in the kisses to be present the next time he's in her.
It surprises even her how easy it is to pull back and spread her legs, smile up at him. "Please?"
He goes still, closing his eyes for a second and mouthing something she can't quite catch, and then he's pushing into her, filling her up completely.
"Mmmm," she starts to say, letting her head fall back lazily against the pillow. But Ray has his hands on her legs, pushing them back so she can wrap them around him, and that opens her up even more, brings him further into her, and she can't catch her breath
He rests his weight on his elbows, holding himself over her, but she can still feel all his warmth, the solidity of his body covering her like a blanket. She puts her arms around his neck, arching up so her breasts rub against his chest every time he thrusts into her.
"Lovely," Ray whispers, "so lovely, so, Gee..."
He kisses her then, thrusts hard and reaches down to touch her. She presses them together as much as she can, touches him everywhere she can reach, because he's hers, he said so, and it's the best thing she's ever been given.
"Please," she whispers, "it's almost enough, please give me - please." She tenses her muscles around him, watching his face; when he flushes and pants, she does it again.
"God," Ray says, voice high and tight, and he comes in her.
It pushes her over the edge. She clings to him, kissing his neck and thanking God and anyone else listening for what she's been given.
THE END.
[And Mikey stays with them until the baby is a few months old and then elopes with Pete to the continent. But they end up coming back and living a few miles away. AND EVERYBODY LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
THE END FOR REAL.]