Fic: Five Times Elizabeth Wears John's Clothes
Title: Five Times Elizabeth Wears John's Clothes
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Rating: PG13
--1
Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest - mostly for intimidation purposes but it also served to provide her a modicum of warmth. “And tell me again exactly what you were thinking?”
Rodney winced. “It didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time.”
She continued to glare at him.
“Right,” he conceded. “It was Sheppard’s idea. I should have known.”
“Hey!” John protested. “It would have been a good idea if you had executed it correctly.”
“Oh, now you’re making this my fault?”
“I’m not making it anything. It is your fault.”
“Gentlemen,” Elizabeth interrupted, “I’ll solve this little argument for you.” Her teeth were beginning to chatter so she pulled her arms more securely around her. “You are both at fault; you will both claim responsibility.”
“But -”
She held up a hand briefly to forestall the objection then tucked it back into place and tried not to shiver. “Rodney, fix this. Now.”
The scientist was quick to make his escape. John glanced briefly at Elizabeth and then made a move to follow.
“Colonel,” she stopped him in his tracks.
He winced. “Yes?”
“Give me your jacket.”
He paused, apparently trying to gauge whether or not she was serious. “But it’s cold in here,” he pointed out.
She raised an eyebrow. “Imagine that.”
Reluctantly, John removed his jacket then, after another raised brow, his fleece, and handed them to Elizabeth. She quickly slipped both on and sighed happily.
“And next time,” she said as she eased into her chair, “consider roller skating. No ice required.”
--2
“Did you know,” John asked, “that I’m the highest ranking officer in the city?”
Rodney snorted and continued to study his datapad. “Yes, I think I’ve heard something along those lines. Move to the left.”
John did as instructed. “There are one hundred and seventy three marines and airmen at my command.”
“Wow. You’re a whiz with numbers. Thanks for the pointless information.” He scribbled something before looking up. “A little to the right.”
“You’d think,” John continued while stepping sideways, “with all these people taking orders from me, that we’d be able to find someone else to play lab rat to your crazy experiments.”
Rodney wasn’t phased. “You’d think. Did I say right? I meant left.”
John raised his voice, directing his comment over his shoulder. “It figures that the one person who can boss me around is malicious and vindictive.”
From across the room Elizabeth called, “You realize that I can hear you, right John? You just earned yourself another hour.”
“I meant you to hear it,” he called back. Then he continued a little more softly. “See? Malicious and vindictive.”
Elizabeth crossed the length of the lab and stopped in front of John, eyeing him appraisingly. “You want another hour? A day, perhaps? I'm sure Rodney has plenty of artifacts he wants to figure out.”
“I do,” Rodney confirmed. “There are a considerable number of new devices from the lab we found by the east pier. One in particular looks very promising. This one I’m working with now, though, it has an energy reading unlike anything I’ve seen - take a step back, Colonel - and that’s when it’s inert. I can’t imagine -”
There was a flash of light, some sort of beeping, a sudden chill and then silence.
“Huh,” Rodney said, looking up from his datapad. “I wonder what that did.”
John sighed. “I think I have an idea.”
Elizabeth stood in front of him in a very familiar pair of grey pants and a black shirt. He looked down at himself. Black slacks, red shirt. He tugged a little at the collar. This thing was tight.
Elizabeth wiggled a little experimentally. “John Sheppard,” she accused, “you weren’t wearing underwear?”
He shifted uncomfortably and shrugged. “Laundry day.” Then he wiggled a little himself. He tugged at the waistband of his (her) pants to confirm. “Why, Dr. Weir, I never imagined you’d be one to wear a thong.”
She smiled mischievously. “Less material to pack.”
--3
Chocolate, Elizabeth chanted the mantra in her head. We can make chocolate with these beans.
“Are you guys okay in there?” Rodney asked from the other side of the curtain. “You’re taking an awfully long time.”
In the stall next to hers, John grunted.
“Fine, Rodney,” she answered. “Just changing.”
“Still?”
“Still.”
“Can you speed this process up a little? I’m hypoglycemic, you know.”
John grunted again and she heard him draw his curtain back and walk into the room where the rest of their team waited. Then she heard Rodney burst into laughter and Ronon make some sort of amused snort.
“Nice pants.”
“Shut up, Rodney.”
“They didn’t have them in purple? Pink really isn’t your color. But I do enjoy the lace.”
“I said, shut up.”
Elizabeth tugged at the material that clung tightly to her body and looked herself over in what passed as a mirror on this planet. Even through the somewhat foggy contortions of the metal her reflection left her feeling slight nauseous. Not even the promise of chocolate made this outfit bearable.
“Elizabeth? You coming?” John called over the partition. “The sooner we get this ceremony over with the sooner I can get back into pants that are considerably less transparent.”
Even transparent pants weren’t enough incentive to make her reach for the door. She sighed, defeated. “No, I’m not.”
“Are you dressed?”
If this qualified as clothing. “Yes.”
“Then what’s the hold-” John poked his head into her changing stall and almost choked. “Whoa.”
Elizabeth quickly drew her arms over her chest. “John! Get out of here!”
“You said you were dressed!”
“I am!”
“Not really.” His eyes swept over her body as he stepped inside and slid the curtain shut behind him. He had the gall to waggle his eyebrows. “I’ve seen strippers with more on top than that outfit.”
Outside, she heard Rodney speak up. “Really?”
Elizabeth groaned.
“Here,” John said as he shrugged off his ridiculously flowy shirt. “Wear this over the top.”
She accepted the offered item and slipped it over her head. It hung loosely on her shoulders and the sleeves covered her hands, but it also covered her chest.
She looked at John and frowned. “Now you’re not wearing a shirt.”
He shrugged. “Better me than you.”
From the other side of the curtain she heard a mumbled “doubtful” but decided to ignore it.
John rolled his eyes. “Too bad they're not trading us any citrus.” He held the curtain aside and ushered Elizabeth into the main room. He shot a pointed glare at Rodney. “I have a feeling we’re going to be running low very soon.”
“Well,” Rodney countered smugly, “at least I don’t look like Aladdin.”
“No, you look like the monkey.”
“Oh, you think this thing I’m wearing is fuzzier than your chest? Please. You look like you’re wearing a sweater!”
Chocolate, Elizabeth reminded herself. It’ll all be worth it once we get the chocolate.
--4
She laughed into his mouth as he pressed her against the wall of the storage closet. Something clattered to the floor. “John.”
He hummed but didn’t stop kissing her.
“John,” she tried again, her arms reflexively lifting as he pulled her shirt over her head.
“Elizabeth,” he answered, removing his own shirt before diving back in toward her lips.
“We don’t really have time for this,” she protested halfheartedly, digging her fingers into his hips and pulling him closer.
“Then we’ll have to be speedy.” He kissed along her neck. “I can be speedy.”
She tilted her head and grinned. “I know.”
“Hey now.”
“You’re the one that said it.”
He continued to kiss down her chest as his he fumbled for the button of her pants. Elizabeth’s hands trailed up his back and played with the short hairs at the base of his neck.
“Really,” she continued, “we don’t have time for this.”
“Well, then you shouldn’t have made that comment about speed, because now I’m going to take it slow.” He slipped a finger into her underwear. “Painfully slow.”
It was too dark to see, but she knew exactly what expression he was wearing.
Elizabeth pulled John up for a kiss and decided to give up. There were things in life that couldn’t be turned down. John Sheppard offering that was one of them.
He grinned. “I thought you said -”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
She heard the alarm just as she slipped her hands into the waistband of his boxers. The curse that echoed in the small room was in chorus.
“Dr. Weir, we have an unscheduled offworld activation.”
She tapped her earpiece. “IDC?”
“Earth, Ma’am."
John handed her a pile of clothes and she started to pull them on. “I’ll be right there.” She disconnected and John pressed his lips to hers.
“You’re rethinking that mainland vacation, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Definitely, yes.”
He kissed her again. “I knew you’d change your mind eventually.”
She pulled the shirt over her head and buttoned her pants. “Well, at least we didn’t get far enough that I’m going to have to worry about sex hair.”
“That’s not much of a bright side.”
“I’ll see you in the control room in a few minutes.” She waived her hand over the sensor and the door slid open. She blinked as she stepped into the hall and almost crashed right into Rodney.
“Elizabeth! Just the person I was looking for.”
She regained her balance as he thrust his datapad at her, completely unfazed. “Look at these calculations. I told you Radek was wrong.”
“In a minute, Rodney. The SGC just called.”
“Excellent.” He tapped the screen. “Colonel Carter will want to see this too.”
She nodded and started toward the control room.
“Uh, Elizabeth?”
“Yes, Rodney?”
He scrunched up his face and gestured toward her. “You, ah, you might want to change your shirt first. I imagine that Sheppard is stranded in that storage closet with nothing but your uniform and a cranky disposition.”
--5
The door slid open and John stepped into his room, the weight of the day causing his shoulders to droop. He brushed a hand across his face, pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to clear his head.
“Rodney’s slipping,” Elizabeth said, looking up from her laptop. She was propped up on his bed with papers strewn across the mattress. “His ‘this will just take a minute’ usually lasts closer to three hours. You were only gone for two.”
“Really?” he asked in disbelief. “It wasn’t five? I could have sworn it was five.”
She shook her head and grinned as he crossed toward her.
“It didn’t feel like five to you?” he pressed, dropping gently onto the bed beside her.
“You’re right, it did.” Elizabeth frowned dramatically. “Time seems to drag on when I'm without you - I’d forgotten.”
John rolled his eyes as he reached for her laptop. “You’re not very convincing.”
“Hey,” she complained as he pulled the machine out from under her still typing hands. “I’m not done with that.”
“You are,” he insisted, placing it on the table beside the bed. “It’s time to stop working.”
This time her frown was real. “John, I have to finish reviewing -”
“Come on,” he interrupted, leaning in and dropping a kiss on her cheek, “don’t you think it’s time for a break?” He continued to trail kisses along her jaw and began to work his way down her neck, knowing full well that when he hit her collar bone she’d cave.
“John.” She tried one more halfhearted protest before tilting her head to allow him better access.
He leaned in closer and his hand slid down her side, pausing when it reached her hips. He crooked a finger in the waistband of her pants and ran it slowly along to the fly, gently scraping her soft skin along the way. As soon as he reached his destination he paused and looked up.
“Elizabeth,” he said, eyes trailing to his hands and then back up to meet her gaze, “these are my pants.”
She winced. “Mine don’t, ah,” she shrugged one shoulder, “they don’t fit.”
His eyes lit up excitedly. “Really?”
“Well, I’m not wearing them for the fashion statement,” she rejoined dryly.
He ignored her dig and instead focused all of his attention on sliding the hem of her shirt up to bare her stomach. She was right.
“Hey, little one,” he whispered, leaning down to the bulge of her stomach. “You’re making your mommy chubby.”
He flinched when Elizabeth swatted him.
John blinked innocently. “Did I say chubby? I meant sexy.” He leaned in and brushed his lips across hers. “Incredibly sexy.”
Pairing: John/Elizabeth
Rating: PG13
--1
Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest - mostly for intimidation purposes but it also served to provide her a modicum of warmth. “And tell me again exactly what you were thinking?”
Rodney winced. “It didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time.”
She continued to glare at him.
“Right,” he conceded. “It was Sheppard’s idea. I should have known.”
“Hey!” John protested. “It would have been a good idea if you had executed it correctly.”
“Oh, now you’re making this my fault?”
“I’m not making it anything. It is your fault.”
“Gentlemen,” Elizabeth interrupted, “I’ll solve this little argument for you.” Her teeth were beginning to chatter so she pulled her arms more securely around her. “You are both at fault; you will both claim responsibility.”
“But -”
She held up a hand briefly to forestall the objection then tucked it back into place and tried not to shiver. “Rodney, fix this. Now.”
The scientist was quick to make his escape. John glanced briefly at Elizabeth and then made a move to follow.
“Colonel,” she stopped him in his tracks.
He winced. “Yes?”
“Give me your jacket.”
He paused, apparently trying to gauge whether or not she was serious. “But it’s cold in here,” he pointed out.
She raised an eyebrow. “Imagine that.”
Reluctantly, John removed his jacket then, after another raised brow, his fleece, and handed them to Elizabeth. She quickly slipped both on and sighed happily.
“And next time,” she said as she eased into her chair, “consider roller skating. No ice required.”
--2
“Did you know,” John asked, “that I’m the highest ranking officer in the city?”
Rodney snorted and continued to study his datapad. “Yes, I think I’ve heard something along those lines. Move to the left.”
John did as instructed. “There are one hundred and seventy three marines and airmen at my command.”
“Wow. You’re a whiz with numbers. Thanks for the pointless information.” He scribbled something before looking up. “A little to the right.”
“You’d think,” John continued while stepping sideways, “with all these people taking orders from me, that we’d be able to find someone else to play lab rat to your crazy experiments.”
Rodney wasn’t phased. “You’d think. Did I say right? I meant left.”
John raised his voice, directing his comment over his shoulder. “It figures that the one person who can boss me around is malicious and vindictive.”
From across the room Elizabeth called, “You realize that I can hear you, right John? You just earned yourself another hour.”
“I meant you to hear it,” he called back. Then he continued a little more softly. “See? Malicious and vindictive.”
Elizabeth crossed the length of the lab and stopped in front of John, eyeing him appraisingly. “You want another hour? A day, perhaps? I'm sure Rodney has plenty of artifacts he wants to figure out.”
“I do,” Rodney confirmed. “There are a considerable number of new devices from the lab we found by the east pier. One in particular looks very promising. This one I’m working with now, though, it has an energy reading unlike anything I’ve seen - take a step back, Colonel - and that’s when it’s inert. I can’t imagine -”
There was a flash of light, some sort of beeping, a sudden chill and then silence.
“Huh,” Rodney said, looking up from his datapad. “I wonder what that did.”
John sighed. “I think I have an idea.”
Elizabeth stood in front of him in a very familiar pair of grey pants and a black shirt. He looked down at himself. Black slacks, red shirt. He tugged a little at the collar. This thing was tight.
Elizabeth wiggled a little experimentally. “John Sheppard,” she accused, “you weren’t wearing underwear?”
He shifted uncomfortably and shrugged. “Laundry day.” Then he wiggled a little himself. He tugged at the waistband of his (her) pants to confirm. “Why, Dr. Weir, I never imagined you’d be one to wear a thong.”
She smiled mischievously. “Less material to pack.”
--3
Chocolate, Elizabeth chanted the mantra in her head. We can make chocolate with these beans.
“Are you guys okay in there?” Rodney asked from the other side of the curtain. “You’re taking an awfully long time.”
In the stall next to hers, John grunted.
“Fine, Rodney,” she answered. “Just changing.”
“Still?”
“Still.”
“Can you speed this process up a little? I’m hypoglycemic, you know.”
John grunted again and she heard him draw his curtain back and walk into the room where the rest of their team waited. Then she heard Rodney burst into laughter and Ronon make some sort of amused snort.
“Nice pants.”
“Shut up, Rodney.”
“They didn’t have them in purple? Pink really isn’t your color. But I do enjoy the lace.”
“I said, shut up.”
Elizabeth tugged at the material that clung tightly to her body and looked herself over in what passed as a mirror on this planet. Even through the somewhat foggy contortions of the metal her reflection left her feeling slight nauseous. Not even the promise of chocolate made this outfit bearable.
“Elizabeth? You coming?” John called over the partition. “The sooner we get this ceremony over with the sooner I can get back into pants that are considerably less transparent.”
Even transparent pants weren’t enough incentive to make her reach for the door. She sighed, defeated. “No, I’m not.”
“Are you dressed?”
If this qualified as clothing. “Yes.”
“Then what’s the hold-” John poked his head into her changing stall and almost choked. “Whoa.”
Elizabeth quickly drew her arms over her chest. “John! Get out of here!”
“You said you were dressed!”
“I am!”
“Not really.” His eyes swept over her body as he stepped inside and slid the curtain shut behind him. He had the gall to waggle his eyebrows. “I’ve seen strippers with more on top than that outfit.”
Outside, she heard Rodney speak up. “Really?”
Elizabeth groaned.
“Here,” John said as he shrugged off his ridiculously flowy shirt. “Wear this over the top.”
She accepted the offered item and slipped it over her head. It hung loosely on her shoulders and the sleeves covered her hands, but it also covered her chest.
She looked at John and frowned. “Now you’re not wearing a shirt.”
He shrugged. “Better me than you.”
From the other side of the curtain she heard a mumbled “doubtful” but decided to ignore it.
John rolled his eyes. “Too bad they're not trading us any citrus.” He held the curtain aside and ushered Elizabeth into the main room. He shot a pointed glare at Rodney. “I have a feeling we’re going to be running low very soon.”
“Well,” Rodney countered smugly, “at least I don’t look like Aladdin.”
“No, you look like the monkey.”
“Oh, you think this thing I’m wearing is fuzzier than your chest? Please. You look like you’re wearing a sweater!”
Chocolate, Elizabeth reminded herself. It’ll all be worth it once we get the chocolate.
--4
She laughed into his mouth as he pressed her against the wall of the storage closet. Something clattered to the floor. “John.”
He hummed but didn’t stop kissing her.
“John,” she tried again, her arms reflexively lifting as he pulled her shirt over her head.
“Elizabeth,” he answered, removing his own shirt before diving back in toward her lips.
“We don’t really have time for this,” she protested halfheartedly, digging her fingers into his hips and pulling him closer.
“Then we’ll have to be speedy.” He kissed along her neck. “I can be speedy.”
She tilted her head and grinned. “I know.”
“Hey now.”
“You’re the one that said it.”
He continued to kiss down her chest as his he fumbled for the button of her pants. Elizabeth’s hands trailed up his back and played with the short hairs at the base of his neck.
“Really,” she continued, “we don’t have time for this.”
“Well, then you shouldn’t have made that comment about speed, because now I’m going to take it slow.” He slipped a finger into her underwear. “Painfully slow.”
It was too dark to see, but she knew exactly what expression he was wearing.
Elizabeth pulled John up for a kiss and decided to give up. There were things in life that couldn’t be turned down. John Sheppard offering that was one of them.
He grinned. “I thought you said -”
“Oh, shut up.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
She heard the alarm just as she slipped her hands into the waistband of his boxers. The curse that echoed in the small room was in chorus.
“Dr. Weir, we have an unscheduled offworld activation.”
She tapped her earpiece. “IDC?”
“Earth, Ma’am."
John handed her a pile of clothes and she started to pull them on. “I’ll be right there.” She disconnected and John pressed his lips to hers.
“You’re rethinking that mainland vacation, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Definitely, yes.”
He kissed her again. “I knew you’d change your mind eventually.”
She pulled the shirt over her head and buttoned her pants. “Well, at least we didn’t get far enough that I’m going to have to worry about sex hair.”
“That’s not much of a bright side.”
“I’ll see you in the control room in a few minutes.” She waived her hand over the sensor and the door slid open. She blinked as she stepped into the hall and almost crashed right into Rodney.
“Elizabeth! Just the person I was looking for.”
She regained her balance as he thrust his datapad at her, completely unfazed. “Look at these calculations. I told you Radek was wrong.”
“In a minute, Rodney. The SGC just called.”
“Excellent.” He tapped the screen. “Colonel Carter will want to see this too.”
She nodded and started toward the control room.
“Uh, Elizabeth?”
“Yes, Rodney?”
He scrunched up his face and gestured toward her. “You, ah, you might want to change your shirt first. I imagine that Sheppard is stranded in that storage closet with nothing but your uniform and a cranky disposition.”
--5
The door slid open and John stepped into his room, the weight of the day causing his shoulders to droop. He brushed a hand across his face, pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to clear his head.
“Rodney’s slipping,” Elizabeth said, looking up from her laptop. She was propped up on his bed with papers strewn across the mattress. “His ‘this will just take a minute’ usually lasts closer to three hours. You were only gone for two.”
“Really?” he asked in disbelief. “It wasn’t five? I could have sworn it was five.”
She shook her head and grinned as he crossed toward her.
“It didn’t feel like five to you?” he pressed, dropping gently onto the bed beside her.
“You’re right, it did.” Elizabeth frowned dramatically. “Time seems to drag on when I'm without you - I’d forgotten.”
John rolled his eyes as he reached for her laptop. “You’re not very convincing.”
“Hey,” she complained as he pulled the machine out from under her still typing hands. “I’m not done with that.”
“You are,” he insisted, placing it on the table beside the bed. “It’s time to stop working.”
This time her frown was real. “John, I have to finish reviewing -”
“Come on,” he interrupted, leaning in and dropping a kiss on her cheek, “don’t you think it’s time for a break?” He continued to trail kisses along her jaw and began to work his way down her neck, knowing full well that when he hit her collar bone she’d cave.
“John.” She tried one more halfhearted protest before tilting her head to allow him better access.
He leaned in closer and his hand slid down her side, pausing when it reached her hips. He crooked a finger in the waistband of her pants and ran it slowly along to the fly, gently scraping her soft skin along the way. As soon as he reached his destination he paused and looked up.
“Elizabeth,” he said, eyes trailing to his hands and then back up to meet her gaze, “these are my pants.”
She winced. “Mine don’t, ah,” she shrugged one shoulder, “they don’t fit.”
His eyes lit up excitedly. “Really?”
“Well, I’m not wearing them for the fashion statement,” she rejoined dryly.
He ignored her dig and instead focused all of his attention on sliding the hem of her shirt up to bare her stomach. She was right.
“Hey, little one,” he whispered, leaning down to the bulge of her stomach. “You’re making your mommy chubby.”
He flinched when Elizabeth swatted him.
John blinked innocently. “Did I say chubby? I meant sexy.” He leaned in and brushed his lips across hers. “Incredibly sexy.”