Comments | pdsexton: Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.

pdsexton

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.

May 10, 2007 05:59

It's 5:00am and I've been up for an hour catching up on LJ, listening to A Certain Ratio and feeling nauseaous. At least I'm sitting in the hottub in the backyard writing this, so it's not all bad. I picked up my prescription for Phenergan (why do I always think of James Joyce when I say that) on the way to the gym last night (sadly, it's not ( Read more... )

hiv, career, health

Comments 25

dakoopst May 10 2007, 10:48:46 UTC

Good for you. I think this is a good direction for you, of course.

pdsexton May 10 2007, 10:57:49 UTC

Thank you. Your opinion means a lot to me......and I think I just inadvertantly wrote my basic statement of intent.

shawnsyms May 10 2007, 10:57:57 UTC

I think that sounds amazing.

pdsexton May 10 2007, 11:08:11 UTC

I asked my therapist a few weeks ago if she could assist me in finding my career path, but then I found it on my own. She cried twice during our session yesterday: once when I told her about the career choice, and secondly when I was describing the way Tim makes me feel. It's odd when you are consoling your therapist during a session.

On an unrelated note, Parks turned me on to Scrabulous..up for a game sometime???

shawnsyms May 10 2007, 11:22:54 UTC

I just set us up a game. My ability to take turns can be a bit sporadic depending on work.

If you don't mind my asking, do you find the gender of your therapist makes any difference one way or another? I've been thinking about potentially seeing someone at some point, and it was my inclination to think a gay man with some similar life experience might be best. I don't know for sure about that though.

pdsexton May 10 2007, 14:26:42 UTC

I got your first play just as I was leaving for the gym this morning. My ability to play is sporadic as well. All is good.

At first, I had misgivings about have a straight, very white, middle class woman for a therapist, but she really made me rethink my stereotypes. I am incredibly comfortable with her, even to the point of voicing my concerns of not being able to ejaculate while taking Lexapro. I think the personality of the therapist is far more important than the sex or sexual orientation, however finding a therapist you are comfortable with can be a challenge. I got lucky.

Thread 10

tbone1961 May 10 2007, 12:11:07 UTC

someone has done some MAJOR soul-searching!!

pdsexton May 10 2007, 15:55:50 UTC

Just a bit. 2007 is definitely a year of change for me.

tbone1961 May 10 2007, 15:57:07 UTC

but it sounds like good change!

pdsexton May 10 2007, 16:00:08 UTC

Very much so. My overall happiness and zest for life is greater than it has been in ages.

b_a_n_d_i_t May 10 2007, 12:46:06 UTC

that sounds like an outstanding direction for you to take. I wish you the best of luck with it!

pdsexton May 10 2007, 15:58:37 UTC

Thank you. It's been a long time coming, but things just sort of fell into place over the past couple of months...or I was finally able to see them for what they are.

wolffepsyche May 10 2007, 12:58:07 UTC

It's always wonderful to hit the reset button on our dreams. And, partially unrelated, your HIV status didn't fully enter my consciousness until just now. I'm not sure if that's a reflection on me not paying attention or on how you comport yourself but I'd rather think it's the latter and commend you for it.

In other words, it's not overriding your life (and the ability to live) and I've seen that happen to others.

pdsexton May 10 2007, 15:35:12 UTC

Thank you. I've been saying lately that it's taken me 2-3 years to remember who the hell I am. I'd gotten lost in being who I was "supposed" to be.

For a long time I didn't talk about my health, but it's such a huge part of my life, I can't repress it. On the otherhand, it is just a part of my life and not the end all / be all, and it makes me appreciate life all the more.