Apropos Of Nothing.

[pdragon76]

I can't fucking cry about anything these days.  Why is that?  I just spent half the day curled in my bed trying to weep about something, and I can't fucking sustain it for longer than ten seconds at a time.

What the hell is wrong with me?  Is nothing worth my tears anymore?  Am I really that goddamn jaded?

I don't feel like I'm that goddamn

Comments

[katiejo567]

Maybe it's less about being jaded, and more about the fact that you've grown a tougher skin about some things now. I know it sounds eerily similar. :p I don't think this is necessarily such a bad thing,is all. How exhausting would it be to break every time the same shit happens? Me, I'd rather take a second to embrace the suck and pull together, and save the tears for the extra fucked-up shit.

[pdragon76]

I'm just so damn frustrated. You know that feeling when you're drunk as shit and you know you'll feel better if you can just puke before you go to sleep and it'll be better when you wake up in the morning?

I feel like I've spent the last few weeks stuck in that exact sensation. I just need to have a damn cry and get it out, you know? Then I'll be able to... *flappy hands*...whatever. But it won't fucking happen.

*stabs self in eye with fork*

But yes about the tougher skin. And that not being such a bad thing.

[katiejo567]

Ugh, ok, that feeling sucks. Emotional constipation is no fun. :\ Especially since you can't really get unstuck until you, well...get unstuck. *hugs* Crappy situation is crappy.

[lilacsigil]

Sounds familiar to me, too. I used to cry buckets over anything, but now I have a little leakage, feel a bit crap and get on with it. Honestly, I'd rather have more tears and more on-the-spot catharsis, but it doesn't seem to be happening.

[pdragon76]

THIS. I want on-the-spot catharsis. This is what I'm craving. I HAS NO ON-THE-SPOT CATHARSIS.

Some dumb General inside my head just keeps kicking me in the brain stem and going: Oh, have at it elsewhere, you blubbering nancy. GET UP, SOLDIER.

Stoopid perspectifying prison job. *kicks it* I'm blaming the stoopid perspectifying prison job.

And, um, I think you're well entitled to a bit of leakage lately, my love. I has my Dragonly bits all crossed for you in the coming months.

[lilacsigil]

Thank you for the bits-crossing!

But no, I have cried for about a total of 90 seconds in five days. Blah.

[pdragon76]

Okay, so I didn't do a vent post, but I did vent. At the person in question. And then I bawled for about TWO DAYS STRAIGHT. Aaaaand I don't think I was really crying about what I thought I was crying about anyway.

*flaps hands* It's all very complicated. I feel better now. I think. Sort of. Thanks for the advice. :)

Horse!Sam has, and always will be, the best elixir for what ails me on God's green. That horse is my turpentine.

[a_phoenixdragon]

No, sweetie - I did that once a few years back and wondered the same thing. You may just be emotionally overwhelmed/stunned - or really not that sad/angry/disappointed in anything right now.

If you'd like I can come over an attempt to say mean things to you - or stomp you on the foot *helpfully*

*HUGS*

[pdragon76]

I think emotionally overwhelmed fit the bill.

I'm not anymore. Dam broke. Tears were shed. And now I'm getting back on track. *\o/*

Thanks for the hugs. :)

[a_phoenixdragon]

I'm glad you got it out, darling...

Always ready with hugs! See:

*hugs you again*

[unplugged32]

Crying is overrated, babe:)

{squishes you tight}}

[pdragon76]

Oh, Jesus. Isn't it just?

*is tired of wanting to cry*

I'ma squish you right back. You know that, right? *squish*