Entry #6: Feedback Wanted

[pauljoy]

 FIRST official story on LJ!
Actually, it's more for a story contest going on at school, but you know, same difference. The point is - I need some feedback on what you think of the story! For example, did you like it? What was your overall feeling of the story? Etc. Feel free to correct any grammar, or mistakes that I may have made.
Thanks for

Comments

[rephen]

Hello.

I liked your description about Aunt Lexa and the Manor. Very vivid. The feeling of coming home to a familiar place is very palpable with this piece. I think you should expand it. The other tales of the Nightingale manor only serve as a group of red herrings at this stage. Nice work, really. I enjoyed reading :D

Thank youu

[pauljoy]

A friend of mine edited it for me and changed a few things a little bit, but the essential stuff are still there :) I think I will expand it, when I have time.