Room 302 [Monday afternoon]

[pasunereveuse]

It was miserable to be angry and upset and heartbroken, under totally normal circumstances. It was even more miserable, somehow, to be angry and upset and heartbroken when school was out for break. It had been a cruel twist of fate that Celia had found the incriminating letter in Ichabod's room the very day before she was to take her last exam, and

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[nobloodymessiah]

Eleanor wasn't entirely sure what one did, with the back half of December. Should she go to see Grace and Louise, out in St. Louis? Travel home with Joker to meet his family? Stay here, in the dorms? Other times of the year, the gap between semesters seemed far shorter.

Perhaps Celia might have some advice. She hesitated before knocking on the door.

(rocking a cold, so much SP up in herrre)

[nobloodymessiah]

What bothered Eleanor most was how much sense Celia was making.

"Do you mean that, though?" she asked, hesitantly. "If Ichabod ... if Ichabod confessed to you that once he leaves here, he must marry this unseen girl. If he begged forgiveness, and you could overlook his lies. Would you ... for the time you have now ..."

Continue seeing him? Fall even more in love? Give as much of herself as before?

[pasunereveuse]

"That's apples and oranges," Celia argued softly. "Ichabod's commitment to another woman isn't the same as Joker's commitment to his future. So...I don't know. I don't like the idea of being a party to infidelity, if that's the case."

And oddly, that was one of the more optimistic scenarios.

"But if he had something else -- if I knew our relationship was finite from the start...I still would have pursued it," she said, weighing her words carefully. She smiled a little. "Remember your Tennyson. 'Tis better to have loved and lost."

And she'd be reminding herself of that for awhile -- even if she was willing to at least see Ichabod, now, she didn't have much hope for what that letter could have meant.

[nobloodymessiah]

"'Than never to have loved at all,'" Eleanor finished. "I hadn't considered the infidelity angle."

Truthfully, she had little concern over this unseen woman's feelings. Perhaps that was terrible of her.

"You know, I was only in Grace's care a few short months," she said. "And Father's time with me wasn't much longer."

Possibly it had been shorter. She was a touch fuzzy on the chronology, there. She was six when Mother was arrested, and seven when she was herself again; that was all she knew for certain.

[pasunereveuse]

"Time is relative," Celia agreed quietly. "I'm not seeing much support for your argument against caring about Joker, in there. If he leaves and you're still attached to one another...I don't see why you can't revisit that conversation. And in the meantime, why not enjoy yourself?"

She offered a wobbly smile. "Speaking from a place of abject misery, I don't see why you'd voluntarily put yourself here, when happiness is such a readily available option."

[nobloodymessiah]

"There has to be an explanation," Eleanor said firmly, reaching out to take her friend's hand. "Maybe it's a mistake, or the letter was sent to him in error. I refuse to believe he's toying with you. I can't."

She sighed. "And if I'm wrong, I'll break both his kneecaps."

[pasunereveuse]

Celia actually laughed a little, in spite of herself. "I want to think you're right," she said, shrugging a shoulder. "Eleanor, the letter was covered in perfume. Absolutely reeking of it. That's why I looked in the first place. That's -- I wouldn't send a perfumed letter to someone I didn't care about."

Or anyone, but that was because Celia had class.

"But...maybe you're right. He still didn't tell me about her."

[nobloodymessiah]

"I can't imagine covering a letter in perfume at all," Eleanor said, wrinkling her nose. "And I would still be furious with him for lying, if indeed he has lied. But you don't know that he has. And you won't, until you ask him."

She hesitated before adding, "Or ... I could, if you'd prefer."

That would be horribly awkward, but her friend would do no less for her.

[pasunereveuse]

Celia waved a hand at that, making a face. "I'm not so cowardly that I can't ask him myself," she said, straightening up a little. "He owes me an explanation to my face."

She slanted a look over. "Besides -- if he has been unfaithful, and he does deserve for me to be angry, then I'd rather it my wrath than yours." Not that she'd be liable to break kneecaps or anything, but if Ichabod was so foolish as to intentionally break a magician's heart, he deserved whatever might befall him.