WMC: Nightmare (1/?)
She had nightmares, but she swore up and down that they didn’t bother her. At night when she slept, Jill would lie in her bed and watch the beautiful redhead. She only had to be asleep for an hour before the nightmares would start. They caused her to toss and turn, kicking the covers off, making her sweat. When she would sit up with tears on her face, not fully awake, Jill was there to hold her. To kiss the tears away and let her fall back into a slightly more restful sleep. She never said what the nightmares were about, and Jill never asked. When they would meet up at the diner for a late snack with Lindsay and Claire, Cindy was always all smiles, no sign that there was anything worrying her. When it was just the two of them, she could break down. She felt safe with Jill. Protected.
The night that she disappeared was the hardest night Jill had found herself facing since her break-up with Luke. The little red car was still here. Her purse was on the kitchen counter, her laptop on the coffee table. There was no sign that she left willingly and that scared everyone. Jill didn’t see how Cindy could have gotten into so much trouble as to get herself abducted, but with each passing hour, she became more and more frantic. Lindsay and Claire didn’t leave the apartment.
Lindsay wanted to get up and do something. She wanted to help with the case, be out there pounding pavement with the rest of the squad - but a sharp glance from Claire and Jill's tear filled eyes shut out any thought of leaving. Jacobi will find her. And Tom. The mantra runs through the back of her mind, keeping her sane, along with the updates from Jacobi. Besides, Jill needs her and Claire has to head home to her boys.
They were terrified, not only for Cindy, but for Jill. She had refused to eat, sleep or even stop pacing the tiny living room. She wanted to be able to hold her lover in her arms. It didn’t matter if it was in the privacy of the apartment or in the middle of The Hall. So many words were unspoken between them, and as more hours passed with no news, Jill was regretting not telling her she loved her; not telling their friends they were in love.
She was the one tossing and turning in bed for a change, not able to sleep with the opposite half of the bed feeling so empty. When she trudged into the living room, Claire had gone home to her family and Lindsay was sitting on the couch, Jacobi on speakerphone. Jill sat next to her and the Inspector wrapped an arm around her as she finished her phone call. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
“I can’t sleep. It’s just…It’s weird. The bed is empty, and it’s just too strange to actually sleep there. After four months of sleeping with her by my side, she’s gone and I can’t do it.” She whispered, leaning into Lindsay. “I was going to tell her I love her. When I got home. But she wasn’t here.” Jill felt like a whiny baby, but she didn’t care anymore. She tried to let herself break down and cry, but even with both of her friends arms around her now, the tears wouldn’t fall.
Lindsay found herself at a loss for words. She had suspected that the two women were together once Cindy offered to share her apartment with the ADA so she could move out of Claire’s house, but she had no idea how deep their relationship was. She hated how she couldn’t do anything to help Jill. All she could do was sit on her ass and watch the progress go on around her. It made her feel useless. “I am sure she is fine. She will be found safe and sound and home with you in no time.”
Jill let herself slip further into Lindsay’s arms and took a shaky breath as the tears finally began to flow from her sad blue eyes. “You can’t promise that.” Her voice was a strangled sorrow-filled whisper. “Who would want to take her from me? Who knew she was mine?”
“I don’t know, honey, I really don’t.” Lindsay whispered, kissing the top of Jill’s head. “Please try and get some sleep. You look awful.”
“You really know how to boost someone’s ego, don’t you?” Jill said, laughing.
Lindsay rolled her eyes and got up from the couch. “Seriously, get some sleep. I am going to head on home so I can feed Martha and get some sleep myself. I have made sure that the second there is anything about Cindy going around, I will be one of the first to know. One of San Francisco’s best crime reporters doesn’t go missing and everyone ignores it. They’ll find out what happened.” She headed towards the door then stopped with her hand on the knob. “Did Cindy seem…I don’t know. Scared or tense about anything recently?”
Jill thought about mentioning the nightmares, but not knowing what they were about left her with no actual information. “No. Nothing.” She stood up and walked over to the door to wrap her arms around Lindsay tightly. “Thanks. Drive safe, okay?” The Inspector nodded and Jill slowly closed the door behind her. She made her way back to the couch and wrapped a blanket around her, crying more as she realized that blanket smelt like Cindy.
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Cindy sat up straight and screamed. She was covered in sweat and the bed she was in wasn’t her own. She swore her heart stopped when she saw him sit down on the edge of the mattress. He shouldn’t be out. He should never be out. Not after what he did. What he did to her, but more importantly, what he did to Alex. Her Alex. At night when she closed her eyes, she could still feel Alex holding her. She always knew that Jill was going to mean so much to her mainly for the fact that she reminded her of her ex-girlfriend. The attitude, the body, the smile. She always wondered that if Alex was still alive if she would have ever left New York.
She let him watch her as she quickly scanned her body for any type of injury. “I wouldn’t hurt you. You know that. I could never hurt you. You’re too special.” His voice was quiet, making it octaves lower than she actually remembered it being. “Did you know that good behavior can knock off a few years on a sentence? I mean, my P.O. doesn’t exactly know I left the state, but I had to see you. I missed you.” He moved closer to her and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you with that pretty blonde? Is it because she reminds you of her?”
“If you lay a finger on Jill…” Her throat felt like it was on fire when she spoke. She resisted the urge to cough, instead moving further away from him on the bed, pushing herself against the wall. “Why did you have to come back into my life? I mean, I was happy. You always said you wanted me to be happy. I have a life that makes me happy and someone to come home to every night that loves me.”
“I love you.”
“If you loved me, you would have just accepted it when I left you. You wouldn’t have stalked Alex. You wouldn’t have…have…” She finally let the tears roll down her face at the prospect of mentioning Alex aloud in five years. “Damien…Please just let me go home. Just let me go back to Jill, back to being happy, and you can disappear into the horizon and I never have to think about you again.”
“You were having nightmares as I got closer to you, weren’t you? You knew I was going to get you.”
In a sudden burst of strength, courage and stupidity, she lunged forward, shoving Damien off of the mattress and onto the floor. She jumped up to get out the door when his hand caught her ankle, bringing her to the floor with a grunt.
“Don’t make me hurt you.” His voice was a low growl as he pulled her towards him. She brought her free foot up and planted it into his shoulder. He yelled in pain and released his grip on her ankle, giving her the freedom to get out of the room. She fumbled with the locks on the apartment door and screamed when he rammed her into the door. “You are not leaving me again.”
“Think again.” She brought her elbow into his abdomen and as he fell backwards she flung the door open and slammed it behind her, running down the stairs ignoring the searing pain in her chest from the exercise, the side of her face beginning to throb with the start of a bruise from being slammed into the door. She made it to the street and was shocked to learn she was only three blocks from her own apartment. She could hear him heading down the stairs and she took off running again.
The blocks flew past, feet flashing as she dodged around startled pedestrians who jumped out of her way; parting of the red sea on a San Francisco sidewalk. She rushed up the three flights of stairs, taking them to at a time, and began pounding on the door. The second it started to open, she shoved her way inside and slammed it, locking it tightly then turning to wrap her arms around a very shocked Jill. “Call Lindsay.” She pressed her face to Jill’s neck as the woman led them to the bedroom as there was a pounding on the door. “Ignore it, Jill. Call Lindsay. Now.” The fear in her voice prompted Jill to grab her cell phone right that moment and dial the woman. As it started ringing, Cindy grabbed the phone from her. “Linz…My apartment. Now. Bring Jacobi.” She slammed the phone shut and resumed her tight hold on the taller woman.
A tense half hour passed with Damien pounding at the heavy oak door, at first wheedling and apologetic but growing more and more angry and violent the longer he was faced with the silent, unsympathetic door. Cindy clung to Jill the whole time, face buried in the smaller woman's neck. She reluctantly let go of Jill so the woman could open the door. Finally, sounds of a quick, violent scuffle sounded through the apartment door, followed by a gentle rapping on the door and Lindsay's voice calling, "Cindy? Jill? It's Lindsay. We've got him cuffed, ok? Cindy?"
Jill stroked Cindy's hair gently, slowly pulling her lover back from whatever place the redhead had gone off to. Jill hid her relief and fear surprisingly well - her lover clutching at her, unresponsive, for half an hour straight was far and away the scariest thing the blonde had ever experienced, especially considering the last day and a half. Lindsay and Jacobi pushed their way inside and Lindsay’s arms wrapped tightly around the redhead. “What happened? Who was the jackass pounding on the door that gave Jacobi a good right hook?” She looked to Jill for an explanation only to realize the blonde looked as confused as her.
“Cindy, you are going to have to tell us.” Jill whispered.
“You’ll know all you need to when you take him in.” The second Lindsay let go of her, she was blindly groping for some form of human contact. Jill sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around her protectively. “I wanna go to bed.”
“Jill, take her on to lay down. I will swing back by later.” Lindsay kissed the top of Cindy’s head, gave Jill’s shoulder a squeeze and then followed Jacobi out of the apartment. The blonde woman locked the door then followed Cindy to the bedroom. As she held her close and watched her fall asleep, she couldn’t help but smile. Everything was going to be okay. That was the first night in three weeks that Cindy didn’t have a nightmare.
The night that she disappeared was the hardest night Jill had found herself facing since her break-up with Luke. The little red car was still here. Her purse was on the kitchen counter, her laptop on the coffee table. There was no sign that she left willingly and that scared everyone. Jill didn’t see how Cindy could have gotten into so much trouble as to get herself abducted, but with each passing hour, she became more and more frantic. Lindsay and Claire didn’t leave the apartment.
Lindsay wanted to get up and do something. She wanted to help with the case, be out there pounding pavement with the rest of the squad - but a sharp glance from Claire and Jill's tear filled eyes shut out any thought of leaving. Jacobi will find her. And Tom. The mantra runs through the back of her mind, keeping her sane, along with the updates from Jacobi. Besides, Jill needs her and Claire has to head home to her boys.
They were terrified, not only for Cindy, but for Jill. She had refused to eat, sleep or even stop pacing the tiny living room. She wanted to be able to hold her lover in her arms. It didn’t matter if it was in the privacy of the apartment or in the middle of The Hall. So many words were unspoken between them, and as more hours passed with no news, Jill was regretting not telling her she loved her; not telling their friends they were in love.
She was the one tossing and turning in bed for a change, not able to sleep with the opposite half of the bed feeling so empty. When she trudged into the living room, Claire had gone home to her family and Lindsay was sitting on the couch, Jacobi on speakerphone. Jill sat next to her and the Inspector wrapped an arm around her as she finished her phone call. “Why aren’t you asleep?”
“I can’t sleep. It’s just…It’s weird. The bed is empty, and it’s just too strange to actually sleep there. After four months of sleeping with her by my side, she’s gone and I can’t do it.” She whispered, leaning into Lindsay. “I was going to tell her I love her. When I got home. But she wasn’t here.” Jill felt like a whiny baby, but she didn’t care anymore. She tried to let herself break down and cry, but even with both of her friends arms around her now, the tears wouldn’t fall.
Lindsay found herself at a loss for words. She had suspected that the two women were together once Cindy offered to share her apartment with the ADA so she could move out of Claire’s house, but she had no idea how deep their relationship was. She hated how she couldn’t do anything to help Jill. All she could do was sit on her ass and watch the progress go on around her. It made her feel useless. “I am sure she is fine. She will be found safe and sound and home with you in no time.”
Jill let herself slip further into Lindsay’s arms and took a shaky breath as the tears finally began to flow from her sad blue eyes. “You can’t promise that.” Her voice was a strangled sorrow-filled whisper. “Who would want to take her from me? Who knew she was mine?”
“I don’t know, honey, I really don’t.” Lindsay whispered, kissing the top of Jill’s head. “Please try and get some sleep. You look awful.”
“You really know how to boost someone’s ego, don’t you?” Jill said, laughing.
Lindsay rolled her eyes and got up from the couch. “Seriously, get some sleep. I am going to head on home so I can feed Martha and get some sleep myself. I have made sure that the second there is anything about Cindy going around, I will be one of the first to know. One of San Francisco’s best crime reporters doesn’t go missing and everyone ignores it. They’ll find out what happened.” She headed towards the door then stopped with her hand on the knob. “Did Cindy seem…I don’t know. Scared or tense about anything recently?”
Jill thought about mentioning the nightmares, but not knowing what they were about left her with no actual information. “No. Nothing.” She stood up and walked over to the door to wrap her arms around Lindsay tightly. “Thanks. Drive safe, okay?” The Inspector nodded and Jill slowly closed the door behind her. She made her way back to the couch and wrapped a blanket around her, crying more as she realized that blanket smelt like Cindy.
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Cindy sat up straight and screamed. She was covered in sweat and the bed she was in wasn’t her own. She swore her heart stopped when she saw him sit down on the edge of the mattress. He shouldn’t be out. He should never be out. Not after what he did. What he did to her, but more importantly, what he did to Alex. Her Alex. At night when she closed her eyes, she could still feel Alex holding her. She always knew that Jill was going to mean so much to her mainly for the fact that she reminded her of her ex-girlfriend. The attitude, the body, the smile. She always wondered that if Alex was still alive if she would have ever left New York.
She let him watch her as she quickly scanned her body for any type of injury. “I wouldn’t hurt you. You know that. I could never hurt you. You’re too special.” His voice was quiet, making it octaves lower than she actually remembered it being. “Did you know that good behavior can knock off a few years on a sentence? I mean, my P.O. doesn’t exactly know I left the state, but I had to see you. I missed you.” He moved closer to her and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you with that pretty blonde? Is it because she reminds you of her?”
“If you lay a finger on Jill…” Her throat felt like it was on fire when she spoke. She resisted the urge to cough, instead moving further away from him on the bed, pushing herself against the wall. “Why did you have to come back into my life? I mean, I was happy. You always said you wanted me to be happy. I have a life that makes me happy and someone to come home to every night that loves me.”
“I love you.”
“If you loved me, you would have just accepted it when I left you. You wouldn’t have stalked Alex. You wouldn’t have…have…” She finally let the tears roll down her face at the prospect of mentioning Alex aloud in five years. “Damien…Please just let me go home. Just let me go back to Jill, back to being happy, and you can disappear into the horizon and I never have to think about you again.”
“You were having nightmares as I got closer to you, weren’t you? You knew I was going to get you.”
In a sudden burst of strength, courage and stupidity, she lunged forward, shoving Damien off of the mattress and onto the floor. She jumped up to get out the door when his hand caught her ankle, bringing her to the floor with a grunt.
“Don’t make me hurt you.” His voice was a low growl as he pulled her towards him. She brought her free foot up and planted it into his shoulder. He yelled in pain and released his grip on her ankle, giving her the freedom to get out of the room. She fumbled with the locks on the apartment door and screamed when he rammed her into the door. “You are not leaving me again.”
“Think again.” She brought her elbow into his abdomen and as he fell backwards she flung the door open and slammed it behind her, running down the stairs ignoring the searing pain in her chest from the exercise, the side of her face beginning to throb with the start of a bruise from being slammed into the door. She made it to the street and was shocked to learn she was only three blocks from her own apartment. She could hear him heading down the stairs and she took off running again.
The blocks flew past, feet flashing as she dodged around startled pedestrians who jumped out of her way; parting of the red sea on a San Francisco sidewalk. She rushed up the three flights of stairs, taking them to at a time, and began pounding on the door. The second it started to open, she shoved her way inside and slammed it, locking it tightly then turning to wrap her arms around a very shocked Jill. “Call Lindsay.” She pressed her face to Jill’s neck as the woman led them to the bedroom as there was a pounding on the door. “Ignore it, Jill. Call Lindsay. Now.” The fear in her voice prompted Jill to grab her cell phone right that moment and dial the woman. As it started ringing, Cindy grabbed the phone from her. “Linz…My apartment. Now. Bring Jacobi.” She slammed the phone shut and resumed her tight hold on the taller woman.
A tense half hour passed with Damien pounding at the heavy oak door, at first wheedling and apologetic but growing more and more angry and violent the longer he was faced with the silent, unsympathetic door. Cindy clung to Jill the whole time, face buried in the smaller woman's neck. She reluctantly let go of Jill so the woman could open the door. Finally, sounds of a quick, violent scuffle sounded through the apartment door, followed by a gentle rapping on the door and Lindsay's voice calling, "Cindy? Jill? It's Lindsay. We've got him cuffed, ok? Cindy?"
Jill stroked Cindy's hair gently, slowly pulling her lover back from whatever place the redhead had gone off to. Jill hid her relief and fear surprisingly well - her lover clutching at her, unresponsive, for half an hour straight was far and away the scariest thing the blonde had ever experienced, especially considering the last day and a half. Lindsay and Jacobi pushed their way inside and Lindsay’s arms wrapped tightly around the redhead. “What happened? Who was the jackass pounding on the door that gave Jacobi a good right hook?” She looked to Jill for an explanation only to realize the blonde looked as confused as her.
“Cindy, you are going to have to tell us.” Jill whispered.
“You’ll know all you need to when you take him in.” The second Lindsay let go of her, she was blindly groping for some form of human contact. Jill sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around her protectively. “I wanna go to bed.”
“Jill, take her on to lay down. I will swing back by later.” Lindsay kissed the top of Cindy’s head, gave Jill’s shoulder a squeeze and then followed Jacobi out of the apartment. The blonde woman locked the door then followed Cindy to the bedroom. As she held her close and watched her fall asleep, she couldn’t help but smile. Everything was going to be okay. That was the first night in three weeks that Cindy didn’t have a nightmare.