Fic: Odd Girl Out (2/2)
Title: Odd Girl Out (2/2)
Author: laughsunshine
Pairing: Maura/Jane, Maura
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Maura's brain never seems to rest and when Jane is sleeping soundly next to her, how can she rest? This took forever. I watched all current episodes and I still don't believe I know the characters well enough to write. But I did. So forgive me if it isn't exactly on the mark.
Disclaimer: I own nothing; no profits made here. TNT owns it all.
Spoilers: None.
Comments are love. xoxo.
A/N: Click HERE to see the blazer I see Maura wearing. HERE for the shirt. HERE for the skinny jeans. Not sure if this turned out like I wanted. But it was taking time out of important stuff so I had to wrap it up. Hope you guys like it.
[Part 1]
When Maura woke, Jane was gone.
There was a note on the pillow that read:
"Hey M. Got a call early this morning. I didn't want to wake you. Double homicide. See you later today. - J"
Maura sighed and fumbled around for her phone. Two missed calls from the station. A text from Jane saying to come in around two to perform the autopsy because the other medical examiner needed to go out of town for an emergency. Maura looked at the time.
"Oh my Gosh, it's one fifteen!," exclaimed Maura as she shuffled out of bed to run into her closet to pick out something to wear. She dashed through the many pairs of designer outfits that she had, unable to choose. Why do I have to be so meticulous about style?
Maura finally decided on her Sandro oversized Vegas crepe blazer over a pink Splendid vintage cotton t-shirt. Her Maison Martin Margiela black skinny jeans were a perfect match to her chosen apparel. Shoes, shoes, thought Maura as she raided the shoe side of her closet. She paused for a moment and tried to recall why she was so worried about her appearance today. She worried about it everyday. She would never admit it but the constant bullying she received as a child carried through to her adult life. But today it was for Jane. Maura didn't want to seem like she was trying to overcompensate for their late night kiss...but she knew she would. Perfect, thought Maura as she gently picked up her five inch Giuseppe Zanotti ruched leather boots. One last look in the mirror, a Kashi breakfast bar, and Maura was on her way to the police department.
Later on that day, Maura was washing her hands thoroughly after the autopsies of one female and one male. It was rather uneventful because the cause of death was obvious, huge bullet wounds in the cranial region, most likely a shotgun. She had barely any contact with anyone all day. She was so tired and she just wanted to go home. She was mentally exhausted, not because of her work but because of the numerous thought processes revolving around Jane. As if by magic, Jane walked into the room.
"Got the reports?" asked Jane nonchalantly, while not-so-subtly giving Maura the once over. Maura nearly melted hearing the depth of Jane's sultry voice, even if she sounded distant.
"Yes," said Maura as she handed over the files to Jane, their hands brushing ever so slightly. Jane withdrew her hand quickly and turned to leave. "Wait Jane."
"Yes Dr. Isles?" asked Jane, avoiding eye contact.
"You don't have to call me that," said Maura, clearly hurt by the impersonal front Jane was putting on. "I think we should talk."
"There's nothing to talk about Maura," said Jane, shifting her feet nervously.
"I kissed you. I was compelled to kiss you due to several unexplainable rapidly firing neurons in my brain and I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable. But I don't want you ignoring me Rizzoli," said Maura with a surpising confidence. "I don't like people and I don't understand them...but I thought I understood you and I thought you understood me."
"I'm not ignoring you," said Jane. "I called and texted you this morning."
"You know what I mean," said Maura, "We can just pretend like it didn't happen if you want. Well, you can. I won't forget, I'm not going to lie about that. You've kissed tons of people, what's the problem?"
Both women were silent for a moment or two.
"I liked it Maura. That's the problem. What we had was good. A great friendship," said Jane with a sense of hostility, "And now I get nervous around you and that's going to interfere with our work."
"Well you weren't that worried about it with Grant," yelled Maura.
"It's different with Grant," yelled Jane.
"Why? Cause he's a male?" screamed Maura.
"Yes! That's what normal is. Male and female. I like being normal. I like clothes wth comfort, not your fancy expensive apparel that has no purpose in a morgue. Maybe your rich upbringing made you think you could just do whatever you wanted without thinking of your repurcussions on other people. Your emotions get in the way," yelled Jane.
"My money has nothing to do with it Jane, and you know it. You aren't normal. You just have this internalized fear of change and difference. Everything that is different from how you were brought up is immediately bad and horrible. How dare you speak to me about my emotions! At least I ha--have them," said Maura before she was overcome with tiny sobs. "Get out of the morgue."
"I can be here if I want," said Jane.
"Get the hell out of my morgue Detective Rizzoli," screamed Maura, her face covered in tears.
Jane stared intently at Maura before leaving as she was directed.
Maura sobbed in the morgue for a while before going home. Once home, she slipped out of her expensive clothing and changed into something Jane would never have thought she'd own--a tank top and shorts from Wal Mart. She was sitting in silence on her couch with a bottle of beer. She hated to admit it to her conscious, but Jane's brand of beer was delicious. No matter how angry she was, she still wanted to talk to Jane. She's the one person she has gotten close to since Garrett back in 2002. Her, disorder, was no match for Jane's passion for being social with her. She actually wanted to befriend Jane. Hell, she'd even like negative attention from her. Why can't I get her off my mind?
A knock on the door resounds through the house.
"I'm sorry Miss Patrinelli but I haven't seen your husband," yelled Maura as she walked towards the door. She opened the door and was shocked by the sight before her.
Jane was wearing her little black dress, carrying wine and roses. "I'm so sorry Maura. I was way out of line."
Maura secretly squee'd on the inside when she grabbed the roses from Jane, but she tried to act indifferent. "Come in."
"Well, well. What happened to your satin night wear? Is that Faded Glory? From Wal Mart?" asked Jane, following Maura into her kitchen.
"Cut the crap Jane. Money isn't everything to me. What do you want?" said Maura, taking the wine from Jane and shoving it in the fridge. She grabbed a beer and tossed it to Jane.
"I want to apologize for taking my fears out on you. I talked to Frankie Jr. when I went back upstairs down at the office and he helped me see some things. He reminded me about the time Rachel Baker took my seat at lunch in middle school and I refused to eat until the teacher switched us back. It was really funny though because I ended up stuffing bananas down Rachel's shirt when she refused to adhere to the teacher's request. I also put peanuts in her yogurt and I knew she was allergic. She almost died and I got suspended for two weeks," said Jane.
"You put a girl into anaphylactic shock? How does that relate to the situation at hand Jane?" asked Maura tensely.
"I've always been afraid of change Maura. Even in middle school. I wanted to fit in so bad. I am not used to feeling things for a woman. A rich, out of my class woman. Even if I had the chance to be rich, I probably wouldn't take it. I like slumming around Boston, investigating homicides. It's who I am," declared Jane.
"I'm not changing who you are," said Maura defensively, leaning against the counter while Jane paced around.
"A little bit yes. It's just new. And I'm going to take this one little step at a time," said Jane. "I have to have a targeted approach to make a smooth transition into this. I can't just wake up one morning completely okay with kissing women."
"It's 2010. You don't have to kiss women, just this woman. And many species in the animal kingdom have homosexual relationships and they don't even have free will like the Homo sapien species," said Maura, picking at invisible lint on her shorts.
"I don't need a smartass scientific reasoning," said Jane.
"Well I do. It's who I am," said Maura, giving Jane an icy cold stare.
"God Maura I'm trying to do this with you," said Jane.
"Do what? Hurt my feelings? Because it's working," said Maura.
"I'm sorry. Can I just try something?" asked Jane, stepping closer to Maura, reaching around and placing one of her hands on the small of Maura's back.
Maura tried to speak. She tried mustering every bit of intelligence she could to try to expell sound from her vocal cords, but nothing came out. She wanted to yell and scream at Jane, but she couldn't. She thought people were innately good. Just like with Garrett. She refused to believe him to be a killer and he was. She refused to believe Jane was cold hearted. She knew deep down what fear did to Jane. She's seen those eyes before. Maura was a patient woman and she could wait for Jane. Maura whispered, "Sure."
Jane angled her head and placed the lightest of kisses on Maura's soft lips. Maura kissed her back with the same amount of tenderness. When all was done, Jane pulled back and smiled. So did Maura.
"I just needed to do that," said Jane, still holding on to the blonde.
"In our line of work, we see people die everyday. Parents. Children. This life is so short. Approximately 75.6 years for the average American male and 80.8 years for the average American female, discounting unforseen accidents," said Maura, playing absentmindedly with a lock of Jane's dark hair. "When you subtract years of schooling and years it takes to really settle down, it doesn't leave much."
"Okay?" inquired Jane.
"What I'm saying is, we have this one life, at least according to my preferred spiritual beliefs and I don't want to regret not going for something. Even if I'll end up with a broken heart," said Maura.
"I get it. But let's keep this slow. And no one at work can know. Not now at least. Baby steps," said Jane.
"That's fine. I'm a patient woman," replied Maura.
Jane let go of Maura and dangled her arms around her hips. "So. Where's Bass?"
Maura smiled. You're some woman Jane Rizzoli. "Let's go find him." Maura held out her hand for Jane to take. Jane barely hesitated as she laced her fingers with the peculiar doctor.