Once Upon a Dream 20/?
Title: Once Upon a Dream 20/?
Author: Kelinswriter
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Rating: NC-17 (for lots of things)
Summary: Starts with the infamous scene with the OPT Pregnancy Test. Spins off from there into its own little universe.
Disclaimer: CBS, P&G, Telenext et. al. owns these characters; I'm just taking them off the shelf and playing with them for a while.
Author's Note: May not be another chapter for a few weeks. Sorry guys - life is being life (in a good but busy way) - but things should theoretically settle down soon.
Chaps 1-11
Chaps 12-19
"You can do it, " Olivia murmured. "Just a few more steps."
"You mean you can do it," Natalia panted. "You're practically carrying me."
It was pretty close to the truth, Olivia had to admit as they tottered the last few steps to the end of the hallway. Natalia was holding on to the IV stand for dear life with her left hand, while most of her weight was shifted to her right side, pressed hard into Olivia. Her legs were unsteady, her feet faltering - but she was walking.
"Tomorrow will be easier," Olivia said. "Tonight we just concentrate on getting you back down the hallway."
"You had to remind me that we have to go back," Natalia said, a hint of a whimper in her voice. She pressed her head into Olivia's shoulder. "Can we hold still for a minute?"
"Sure." Olivia held Natalia against her, kissing the crown of her head. "You're so much better at this than I was, you know."
"Well at least I haven't thrown anything yet."
"Ha." Olivia slowly shifted them around so that they were facing toward Natalia's room. "You ready to head back?"
"No," Natalia mumbled into Olivia's shoulder, but she took the first step before Olivia could. They moved even more slowly on their progress back down the hallway, Natalia's face determined, her breathing labored as they crossed the polished linoleum. Lillian emerged from behind the nurses' station as they drew near, a pleased smile creasing her face.
"It looks like you're making marvelous progress," she exclaimed as she came toward them, one hand reaching out to catch at Natalia's left elbow. "How does it feel to be up and walking?"
"Tiring." Natalia grimaced. "I won't be running any marathons anytime soon."
"Because you were so good at running before this," Olivia murmured, her lips curving in a bemused smile at the thought of Natalia's adorably out of breath attempt to keep up with her on their hike at the spa.
"There are some things you're going to have to work to keep up with me on," Natalia replied, a glimmer of mischief flickering in her eye when Olivia's breath caught in her throat. Leaning her weight further into Olivia's frame, she said, "I feel like I'm learning how to walk all over again."
"I know it's not much fun, but the more you move, the faster you'll recuperate," Lillian said. "It's good for you on so many levels, as I'm sure Olivia remembers."
"I think I blocked most of it out," Olivia said. "Except for swearing a lot. That I remember." She heard Natalia laugh softly and glanced down at her. "And torturing nurses. I had a talent for that."
"You were the subject of a few lively discussions in the lounge, as I recall." Lillian smiled. "Natalia is, I hear, the model patient."
"Of course she is." Olivia glanced over at the nurses' station. "Actually, Lillian, I was wondering if you could recommend anyone who could provide private nursing for Natalia when she's released, at least for the first few days. Rick said you would know who to talk to."
"Well, let me see." Lillian looked over at the nurses' desk, pondering the possibilities. "I think the best choice would probably be Elena Reyes. She's one of our part-timers, so I know she does some private nursing as well. Plus she's been with Natalia for most of her stay, so she would have a head start on anyone else."
Olivia nodded, immediately seeing the sense of keeping Natalia's primary nurse involved. "She seems to mostly work nights, too, so she would be available during the day when I have to be at The Beacon."
"Exactly. And she's a wonderful nurse. We've only had her for a few months, but she's turned out to be one of the best people we have on staff."
"Really?" Olivia couldn't help her surprise at this news. "I would swear she was one of my nurses when I was in for my transplant."
"Oh, no," Lillian said. "Elena came to work for us in April, I think it was. I believe she lived in Florida before then. Such a nice woman, though, and very good at her work."
Olivia glanced down at Natalia. "What do you say, honey? Are you okay with Elena coming to the house when we need the help?"
"Sure." Natalia's face was tight with discomfort, her brow edged with sweat. "I think that - maybe I -"
"Baby, you okay?" Olivia realized that Natalia was trembling against her. "Are you in pain?"
"I just -" Natalia slumped into Olivia. "I think I hit the wall."
"Nothing to worry about." Lillian wrapped her arm around Natalia so that she was supported on both sides. "It happens after that first walk. Let's get you back into bed so you can relax."
With Lillian's help, Olivia was able to get Natalia to her room. Lillian disappeared while Olivia got Natalia settled, returning a few moments later with a syringe in hand. "Close enough to time for your evening sedative. Might as well sleep through all those aches and pains."
"There are plenty of those." Natalia turned her attention on Olivia. "I'm starting to feel like I owe you an apology for the way I pushed you."
"You can make it up to me later," Olivia said, unable to keep a flirtatious note out of her tone. She smiled when she saw Natalia's cheeks redden, a gentle pink that stayed on her face long after Lillian said her farewell.
Natalia pointed one unsteady finger in Olivia's direction. "That is just not fair."
"And you telling me that I won't be able to keep up with you in front of Lillian is?" Olivia chuckled. "You have the devil in you, sweetheart. Don't try to pretend otherwise."
"Just keeping you on your toes." Natalia's words, Olivia noticed, were fast growing slurred. "Come hold me while I fall 'sleep."
"Absolutely." Olivia climbed onto the bed, sliding one arm beneath Natalia's shoulders and curling Natalia into her side. She stroked her left hand through that thick, dark hair, her face tucked into the crown of Natalia's head. "You smell so good."
"Thank you for the bath," Natalia whispered. "I don' know how I would have gotten through today without it."
"You're welcome." Olivia slid down to press a soft kiss against Natalia's mouth. "I love you, Natalia Rivera."
"I can' wait 'til we can go home," Natalia murmured, her fingers curling reflexively against Olivia's waist.
"Me too," Olivia murmured, unable to deny the desire that rushed through her at having Natalia pressed so close. "Definitely me too."
_______
Olivia woke early the next morning to her phone vibrating on the pillow beside her. She snatched it up, quickly pressing it to her ear. "What?"
"It's Phillip. Sorry it's early, but I have an appointment, and I wanted to know if it's okay to bring Emma by while I take care of it."
"Yeah, that's -" Olivia glanced at the hospital bed, noting that Natalia was just beginning to stir. "I think Natalia is well enough to see her. What time do you think you'll arrive?"
"Say around ten, if that works for you."
"That should be fine." Olivia laid back down on the cot, grunting when her back twinged at the movement.
"You holding up all right?"
"I'm tired," Olivia said. "I'm never anything but tired. But compared to what she's going through, it's nothing."
"Getting shot is not a lot of fun."
"That's what you get for having so many people wanting to do it," Olivia said, unable to resist laughing at the wry note in his voice.
"I'm aware, thank you, Olivia." Phillip chuckled. "We'll be there in a few hours."
"Thanks, Phillip." Olivia pushed to her feet, stretching slowly as she tried to work the kinks out of her back. I'm getting too old for this, she thought as she jammed her feet into her tennis shoes and moved to the bed. Natalia was laying on her back, her head tilted to the right, her lips pursed. Her brow furrowed when Olivia leaned over to kiss her, her nose wrinkling at the brush of Olivia's lashes against her skin. "Good morning, sleepyhead."
"Morning." Natalia lifted one hand, rubbing at her face. "Time is it?"
"Around eight. You slept for almost ten hours."
"All I do is sleep." Natalia opened her eyes, blinking rapidly, and looked up at Olivia. "Did you?"
"Well enough." Olivia pressed their foreheads together. "Emma's coming for a visit."
"She is?" Natalia let loose a beaming, full-dimpled smile. "I've missed her so much."
Olivia stroked the side of Natalia's face. "I've missed that smile."
"It's always been right here." Natalia shifted on the bed and winced. "It's going to take me a half hour just to get up to go to the bathroom."
"I think it took forty-five minutes yesterday, though, so that's progress."
"Thanks." Natalia laughed, immediately following it with a wince. "Oh, ow, stop it."
"Sorry." Olivia slid her hands beneath Natalia's shoulders and said in her best deadpan voice, "I don't know how you could possibly find this funny."
This only made Natalia laugh harder, the end result being that it really did take half an hour to extract her from the bed. By the time they got her to the bathroom and back and settled in with breakfast, it was nearly time for Emma's arrival. Olivia raced to change out of the sweats and t-shirt she'd worn to sleep in, then spent the last few minutes helping Natalia apply the makeup she insisted she needed.
"You don't," Olivia said as she dabbed lipstick onto Natalia's mouth. "You look gorgeous just like you are."
"You're such a liar," Natalia said, wincing when she laughed again.
"Hush." Olivia tipped Natalia's head to the side, examining the effects of the light application of blush and mascara on her appearance. "As usual, you're too beautiful for words."
Natalia rolled her eyes, though the corners of her mouth titled upward at the compliment. "I just don't want her to think that I'm not getting better," she said, sitting forward so that Olivia could brush her hair. "Our baby's been through enough uncertainty."
Our baby. Olivia felt a knot form in her throat at the words. We're really a family, she thought, feeling her world tilt on its axis. They had waited so long, held back for so many different reasons, that the idea of them finally settling in to life as a couple was almost too much to comprehend. I can't get too far ahead of myself. We get her out of the hospital and healthy, and then we talk about the next step.
"Olivia?" Natalia clutched at Olivia's arm, her head tilting backward so that their eyes could meet. "Is something wrong?"
Olivia looked down at Natalia, her throat too tight to permit speech. I love you so much, she thought. And I'm so afraid I won't be able to give you everything you deserve.
She was saved from having to come up with an explanation for her preoccupation by the familiar squeak of tennis-shoed feet, followed by a loud, indrawn breath. "Mama!" Emma shouted, flying toward the bed in a blur of orange shorts and white top.
Mama? Natalia mouthed at Olivia, her brown eyes widening in a mix of shock and delighted joy. A split second later, her gaze turned to terror when she realized that Emma was getting ready to launch herself in a full body tackle.
"Whoa whoa, Bean," Olivia exclaimed, planting herself between Natalia and their daughter. She caught at Emma's shoulders, waiting for those gray-green eyes to meet her own before saying, "Gently, baby. Your mama's still sore."
"But I just want to give her a hug," Emma protested, her brow wrinkling at the fundamental unfairness of being forced to throttle back her greeting for her other mother.
"You can give me all the hugs you want," Natalia said as she opened her arms. "C'mon up here, baby."
"I missed you," Emma said as, with Olivia's help, she clambered onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around Natalia, burying her head in the crook of Natalia's shoulder. "I drew pictures and picked flowers for you. Did you get them?"
"I did." Natalia kissed the crown of Emma's head, her fingertips sliding through Emma's ponytail before tugging gently on its end. "I'm so glad to see you. Some Emma snuggles are just what I needed to get better."
"When do you get to come home?" Emma asked. "Mommy says we'll probably stay at the farmhouse with you until you're all the way better so that we can take care of you. Is that okay with you, Mama?"
"It's more than okay with me," Natalia said, and Olivia realized that the younger woman's eyes were brimming with tears. "Having my favorite girls with me in our home will be the best medicine possible." She looked up at Olivia, and Olivia saw the wave of emotion hit, a wall of relief, fear, and grief all cascading over Natalia at once. Her face crumpled, and she took in a ragged breath, her arms tightening around Emma's frame.
"Mama, are you all right?" Emma asked, her tiny face knotting in concern.
"I'm great, sweetheart," Natalia said. "I just -" She couldn't get any more words out, her face contorting as she choked in a breath.
"Hey, hey, none of that," Olivia murmured, leaning over the bed and encircling her family in an awkward hug. She tilted her face down, pressing her head against Natalia's, and whispered, "Did you forget that I'm the drama queen in the family?"
Natalia let out a choked laugh, one hand groping blindly to touch the side of Olivia's face. Olivia pressed into the touch, her arms clasped tightly around Natalia on one side, Emma the other. She held on until Emma began to squirm, her voice muffled as she said, "You're squishing me."
"Sorry, honey," Natalia said. Olivia felt Natalia's hold on Emma loosen even as she released her own. "We just love you so much that we can't help it."
"I love both of you too," Emma said, and her voice was filled with such comfortable certainty that Olivia couldn't help but plant a kiss on her daughter's cheek. She turned her attention to Natalia's smiling, tear-stained face, murmuring, "I suppose you want one too?"
"Yes, please."
Olivia took Natalia's face between her hands, sweeping her love's tears away with her thumbs. She tucked one finger under Natalia's chin, tilting her head back, and pressed a soft, slow kiss to her lips, a gentle heat fluttering through her at the feel of the younger woman's mouth on hers.
It hit them in the same instant: This is the first time Emma's really seen us kissing. Natalia's breath caught, her eyes flicking to Emma, and a split second later, Olivia did the same. Emma's gaze, she was relieved to see, was serene, a baby Buddha contemplating the strange actions of the adults surrounding her with equanimity.
"Em?" Olivia said. "You okay with us kissing when we know you're there?"
"Sure, Mommy," Emma replied. "I don't know why you guys didn't start doing it sooner."
Natalia let out a laugh which quickly turned into a groan, and Olivia couldn't help but chuckle at the pained smile on the other woman's face. "We don't either, Bean," she said, encircling them both in another hug. "We really don't."
"Now that's a sight worth getting up in the morning for," said a reedy baritone from the doorway. Olivia looked up, meeting a smiling Phillip's gaze. "A family reunited."
"Daddy, Mama said the drawings and flowers helped her get well," Emma declared.
"I told you they would." Phillip shifted his gaze from Emma to Natalia. "It's good to see you feeling better."
"Thank you, Phillip," Natalia said, giving him a grateful smile. "And thank you for bringing Emma to visit."
"Emma needs to spend time with both her moms," Phillip said, his voice matter-of-fact. "I'll be back in an hour to pick her up, if that's okay?"
"That gives us lots of time to catch up." Natalia glanced down at Emma. "I need to hear about what the ducks are up to."
"I'll leave you to it." Phillip hesitated, and Olivia noted something unbearably sad in his eyes as he said, "It's good to see you so happy together. All of you."
He turned to leave the room, and Olivia looked down at Natalia, jerking her head toward the hallway. Natalia nodded, squeezing Olivia's fingers between her own before letting them go and turning her attention to Emma, who said, "That big mean duck was telling all the other ducks what to do and then three or four of the tiny girl ducks got mad and then..."
"The ex-wives all banded together and pecked him to death," Olivia muttered under her breath, unable to resist her amusement at the mental image of Alan the alpha duck getting his comeuppance. She was still grinning when she caught up with Phillip. "What's up with you?"
Phillip turned, giving a shrug, his big hands planted in the pockets of his jeans. "I'm just taking care of something. Not a big deal."
"Okay," Olivia said, not quite sure she believed the guarded look in those pale blue eyes. "I just wanted to say thank you for what you said in there. You being supportive of us as a family and raising Emma - I really never expected it."
"We made a lot of mistakes with each other, Olivia," Phillip said. "But the one thing we did right together was that little girl. She belongs with you and Natalia. All she talks about is moving home to the farmhouse."
"We're still sorting that out, but I think we'll be back there at least temporarily while Natalia recovers," Olivia said, trying to avoid thinking beyond the next few weeks.
"Temporarily?" Phillip gave her an incredulous look. "If you think for one instant that Natalia's going to let you move out, you're nuts."
"I think she's ready for us to be together, but I don't want to commit to anything until we're really sure," Olivia said, the words sounding ridiculous to her ears. Olivia Spencer, the woman who made snap decisions in the bedroom and the boardroom, tiptoeing toward moving in with the love of her life and returning to the only real home Emma had ever known. I'm going to lose my mind if I keep this up, she thought. Ravenwood, party of one. Basket optional.
Phillip looked down at her like he was thinking the same thing. "Would you just stop?"
"Stop what?" she asked, hearing a defensive note creep in her voice. "Stop trying to do the right thing for once? Because I swear to you, Phillip, I will not screw this one up."
Phillip shook his head, giving a soft laugh as he pinned Olivia with his gaze. "You may have forgotten this, but I know you, Olivia. Now that the drama has passed, you're scared to death that you're going to have to figure out how to settle into normal life with Natalia. But you need to just get over it. You love her, she loves you, and you and Emma belong there."
"I just don't want to -" Olivia swallowed. "I'm afraid if we go too fast that it'll fall apart."
"And sometimes it falls apart." Phillip's gaze was unwavering, those blue eyes fired with urgency. "And when it does, you put it back together. Rumor has it that's what people who are committed to each other do. They work at keeping it going."
"What if I'm not cut out for that?" Olivia asked, voicing the fear that had been haunting her ever since she and Natalia had declared their love for each other, the uncertainty at the heart of all her insecurities. "What if I can't do it?"
"You've been looking for a home your entire life." Phillip reached forward to clasp her elbow, squeezing gently. "Let yourself have one, Olivia. Don't waste any more time."
Olivia nodded, her eyes downcast. She felt Phillip step forward, his arms wrapping around her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You deserve to be happy."
Olivia sighed. "Being unhappy is so much easier. You don't have to worry about it being taken away from you."
Phillip let out a soft laugh, that wistful look on his face again. "I should get to my appointment. If you need me, just call. I'll be back soon."
Phillip turned to leave, and Olivia lingered for a second, watching the weariness in her ex-husband's walk. It's like he has the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, she thought. What the hell is going on with him?
Before she could puzzle out an answer, she was distracted by the siren's call of laughter coming from the interior of Natalia's room. I'll grill him later, she thought as she reentered the room, her gaze falling on Emma and Natalia curled up together, Emma explaining something in the most earnest of terms while Natalia listened intently. She watched for a few minutes, studying the effortless connection between her daughter and her love. As if they've been mother and daughter all their lives, she thought, her heart swelling at the realization.
She took another step inside, and Natalia caught the movement, her eyes flicking briefly to the side while a smile crept across her face. The smile only widened when Olivia crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, her body tucked in behind Natalia's.
Emma paused to take a breath, and Natalia glanced over her shoulder, murmuring, "What're you up to?"
Olivia wrinkled her nose at Emma, who grinned and continued her story about playing hide and seek with James and Lizzie in the rose gardens of the Spaulding Mansion. Olivia let the chatter wash over her, feeling a profound sense of peace. This is how it's supposed to be, she thought. There's no gold at the end of the rainbow. There's just savoring every moment that we have.
Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to Natalia's temple and whispered, "I'm doing something I'm not very good at."
Natalia turned her head, narrowing those expressive brown eyes in an unspoken question.
Olivia slid her hand down Natalia's arm and found her hand, threading their fingers together. "I'm being happy."
Author: Kelinswriter
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Rating: NC-17 (for lots of things)
Summary: Starts with the infamous scene with the OPT Pregnancy Test. Spins off from there into its own little universe.
Disclaimer: CBS, P&G, Telenext et. al. owns these characters; I'm just taking them off the shelf and playing with them for a while.
Author's Note: May not be another chapter for a few weeks. Sorry guys - life is being life (in a good but busy way) - but things should theoretically settle down soon.
Chaps 1-11
Chaps 12-19
"You can do it, " Olivia murmured. "Just a few more steps."
"You mean you can do it," Natalia panted. "You're practically carrying me."
It was pretty close to the truth, Olivia had to admit as they tottered the last few steps to the end of the hallway. Natalia was holding on to the IV stand for dear life with her left hand, while most of her weight was shifted to her right side, pressed hard into Olivia. Her legs were unsteady, her feet faltering - but she was walking.
"Tomorrow will be easier," Olivia said. "Tonight we just concentrate on getting you back down the hallway."
"You had to remind me that we have to go back," Natalia said, a hint of a whimper in her voice. She pressed her head into Olivia's shoulder. "Can we hold still for a minute?"
"Sure." Olivia held Natalia against her, kissing the crown of her head. "You're so much better at this than I was, you know."
"Well at least I haven't thrown anything yet."
"Ha." Olivia slowly shifted them around so that they were facing toward Natalia's room. "You ready to head back?"
"No," Natalia mumbled into Olivia's shoulder, but she took the first step before Olivia could. They moved even more slowly on their progress back down the hallway, Natalia's face determined, her breathing labored as they crossed the polished linoleum. Lillian emerged from behind the nurses' station as they drew near, a pleased smile creasing her face.
"It looks like you're making marvelous progress," she exclaimed as she came toward them, one hand reaching out to catch at Natalia's left elbow. "How does it feel to be up and walking?"
"Tiring." Natalia grimaced. "I won't be running any marathons anytime soon."
"Because you were so good at running before this," Olivia murmured, her lips curving in a bemused smile at the thought of Natalia's adorably out of breath attempt to keep up with her on their hike at the spa.
"There are some things you're going to have to work to keep up with me on," Natalia replied, a glimmer of mischief flickering in her eye when Olivia's breath caught in her throat. Leaning her weight further into Olivia's frame, she said, "I feel like I'm learning how to walk all over again."
"I know it's not much fun, but the more you move, the faster you'll recuperate," Lillian said. "It's good for you on so many levels, as I'm sure Olivia remembers."
"I think I blocked most of it out," Olivia said. "Except for swearing a lot. That I remember." She heard Natalia laugh softly and glanced down at her. "And torturing nurses. I had a talent for that."
"You were the subject of a few lively discussions in the lounge, as I recall." Lillian smiled. "Natalia is, I hear, the model patient."
"Of course she is." Olivia glanced over at the nurses' station. "Actually, Lillian, I was wondering if you could recommend anyone who could provide private nursing for Natalia when she's released, at least for the first few days. Rick said you would know who to talk to."
"Well, let me see." Lillian looked over at the nurses' desk, pondering the possibilities. "I think the best choice would probably be Elena Reyes. She's one of our part-timers, so I know she does some private nursing as well. Plus she's been with Natalia for most of her stay, so she would have a head start on anyone else."
Olivia nodded, immediately seeing the sense of keeping Natalia's primary nurse involved. "She seems to mostly work nights, too, so she would be available during the day when I have to be at The Beacon."
"Exactly. And she's a wonderful nurse. We've only had her for a few months, but she's turned out to be one of the best people we have on staff."
"Really?" Olivia couldn't help her surprise at this news. "I would swear she was one of my nurses when I was in for my transplant."
"Oh, no," Lillian said. "Elena came to work for us in April, I think it was. I believe she lived in Florida before then. Such a nice woman, though, and very good at her work."
Olivia glanced down at Natalia. "What do you say, honey? Are you okay with Elena coming to the house when we need the help?"
"Sure." Natalia's face was tight with discomfort, her brow edged with sweat. "I think that - maybe I -"
"Baby, you okay?" Olivia realized that Natalia was trembling against her. "Are you in pain?"
"I just -" Natalia slumped into Olivia. "I think I hit the wall."
"Nothing to worry about." Lillian wrapped her arm around Natalia so that she was supported on both sides. "It happens after that first walk. Let's get you back into bed so you can relax."
With Lillian's help, Olivia was able to get Natalia to her room. Lillian disappeared while Olivia got Natalia settled, returning a few moments later with a syringe in hand. "Close enough to time for your evening sedative. Might as well sleep through all those aches and pains."
"There are plenty of those." Natalia turned her attention on Olivia. "I'm starting to feel like I owe you an apology for the way I pushed you."
"You can make it up to me later," Olivia said, unable to keep a flirtatious note out of her tone. She smiled when she saw Natalia's cheeks redden, a gentle pink that stayed on her face long after Lillian said her farewell.
Natalia pointed one unsteady finger in Olivia's direction. "That is just not fair."
"And you telling me that I won't be able to keep up with you in front of Lillian is?" Olivia chuckled. "You have the devil in you, sweetheart. Don't try to pretend otherwise."
"Just keeping you on your toes." Natalia's words, Olivia noticed, were fast growing slurred. "Come hold me while I fall 'sleep."
"Absolutely." Olivia climbed onto the bed, sliding one arm beneath Natalia's shoulders and curling Natalia into her side. She stroked her left hand through that thick, dark hair, her face tucked into the crown of Natalia's head. "You smell so good."
"Thank you for the bath," Natalia whispered. "I don' know how I would have gotten through today without it."
"You're welcome." Olivia slid down to press a soft kiss against Natalia's mouth. "I love you, Natalia Rivera."
"I can' wait 'til we can go home," Natalia murmured, her fingers curling reflexively against Olivia's waist.
"Me too," Olivia murmured, unable to deny the desire that rushed through her at having Natalia pressed so close. "Definitely me too."
_______
Olivia woke early the next morning to her phone vibrating on the pillow beside her. She snatched it up, quickly pressing it to her ear. "What?"
"It's Phillip. Sorry it's early, but I have an appointment, and I wanted to know if it's okay to bring Emma by while I take care of it."
"Yeah, that's -" Olivia glanced at the hospital bed, noting that Natalia was just beginning to stir. "I think Natalia is well enough to see her. What time do you think you'll arrive?"
"Say around ten, if that works for you."
"That should be fine." Olivia laid back down on the cot, grunting when her back twinged at the movement.
"You holding up all right?"
"I'm tired," Olivia said. "I'm never anything but tired. But compared to what she's going through, it's nothing."
"Getting shot is not a lot of fun."
"That's what you get for having so many people wanting to do it," Olivia said, unable to resist laughing at the wry note in his voice.
"I'm aware, thank you, Olivia." Phillip chuckled. "We'll be there in a few hours."
"Thanks, Phillip." Olivia pushed to her feet, stretching slowly as she tried to work the kinks out of her back. I'm getting too old for this, she thought as she jammed her feet into her tennis shoes and moved to the bed. Natalia was laying on her back, her head tilted to the right, her lips pursed. Her brow furrowed when Olivia leaned over to kiss her, her nose wrinkling at the brush of Olivia's lashes against her skin. "Good morning, sleepyhead."
"Morning." Natalia lifted one hand, rubbing at her face. "Time is it?"
"Around eight. You slept for almost ten hours."
"All I do is sleep." Natalia opened her eyes, blinking rapidly, and looked up at Olivia. "Did you?"
"Well enough." Olivia pressed their foreheads together. "Emma's coming for a visit."
"She is?" Natalia let loose a beaming, full-dimpled smile. "I've missed her so much."
Olivia stroked the side of Natalia's face. "I've missed that smile."
"It's always been right here." Natalia shifted on the bed and winced. "It's going to take me a half hour just to get up to go to the bathroom."
"I think it took forty-five minutes yesterday, though, so that's progress."
"Thanks." Natalia laughed, immediately following it with a wince. "Oh, ow, stop it."
"Sorry." Olivia slid her hands beneath Natalia's shoulders and said in her best deadpan voice, "I don't know how you could possibly find this funny."
This only made Natalia laugh harder, the end result being that it really did take half an hour to extract her from the bed. By the time they got her to the bathroom and back and settled in with breakfast, it was nearly time for Emma's arrival. Olivia raced to change out of the sweats and t-shirt she'd worn to sleep in, then spent the last few minutes helping Natalia apply the makeup she insisted she needed.
"You don't," Olivia said as she dabbed lipstick onto Natalia's mouth. "You look gorgeous just like you are."
"You're such a liar," Natalia said, wincing when she laughed again.
"Hush." Olivia tipped Natalia's head to the side, examining the effects of the light application of blush and mascara on her appearance. "As usual, you're too beautiful for words."
Natalia rolled her eyes, though the corners of her mouth titled upward at the compliment. "I just don't want her to think that I'm not getting better," she said, sitting forward so that Olivia could brush her hair. "Our baby's been through enough uncertainty."
Our baby. Olivia felt a knot form in her throat at the words. We're really a family, she thought, feeling her world tilt on its axis. They had waited so long, held back for so many different reasons, that the idea of them finally settling in to life as a couple was almost too much to comprehend. I can't get too far ahead of myself. We get her out of the hospital and healthy, and then we talk about the next step.
"Olivia?" Natalia clutched at Olivia's arm, her head tilting backward so that their eyes could meet. "Is something wrong?"
Olivia looked down at Natalia, her throat too tight to permit speech. I love you so much, she thought. And I'm so afraid I won't be able to give you everything you deserve.
She was saved from having to come up with an explanation for her preoccupation by the familiar squeak of tennis-shoed feet, followed by a loud, indrawn breath. "Mama!" Emma shouted, flying toward the bed in a blur of orange shorts and white top.
Mama? Natalia mouthed at Olivia, her brown eyes widening in a mix of shock and delighted joy. A split second later, her gaze turned to terror when she realized that Emma was getting ready to launch herself in a full body tackle.
"Whoa whoa, Bean," Olivia exclaimed, planting herself between Natalia and their daughter. She caught at Emma's shoulders, waiting for those gray-green eyes to meet her own before saying, "Gently, baby. Your mama's still sore."
"But I just want to give her a hug," Emma protested, her brow wrinkling at the fundamental unfairness of being forced to throttle back her greeting for her other mother.
"You can give me all the hugs you want," Natalia said as she opened her arms. "C'mon up here, baby."
"I missed you," Emma said as, with Olivia's help, she clambered onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around Natalia, burying her head in the crook of Natalia's shoulder. "I drew pictures and picked flowers for you. Did you get them?"
"I did." Natalia kissed the crown of Emma's head, her fingertips sliding through Emma's ponytail before tugging gently on its end. "I'm so glad to see you. Some Emma snuggles are just what I needed to get better."
"When do you get to come home?" Emma asked. "Mommy says we'll probably stay at the farmhouse with you until you're all the way better so that we can take care of you. Is that okay with you, Mama?"
"It's more than okay with me," Natalia said, and Olivia realized that the younger woman's eyes were brimming with tears. "Having my favorite girls with me in our home will be the best medicine possible." She looked up at Olivia, and Olivia saw the wave of emotion hit, a wall of relief, fear, and grief all cascading over Natalia at once. Her face crumpled, and she took in a ragged breath, her arms tightening around Emma's frame.
"Mama, are you all right?" Emma asked, her tiny face knotting in concern.
"I'm great, sweetheart," Natalia said. "I just -" She couldn't get any more words out, her face contorting as she choked in a breath.
"Hey, hey, none of that," Olivia murmured, leaning over the bed and encircling her family in an awkward hug. She tilted her face down, pressing her head against Natalia's, and whispered, "Did you forget that I'm the drama queen in the family?"
Natalia let out a choked laugh, one hand groping blindly to touch the side of Olivia's face. Olivia pressed into the touch, her arms clasped tightly around Natalia on one side, Emma the other. She held on until Emma began to squirm, her voice muffled as she said, "You're squishing me."
"Sorry, honey," Natalia said. Olivia felt Natalia's hold on Emma loosen even as she released her own. "We just love you so much that we can't help it."
"I love both of you too," Emma said, and her voice was filled with such comfortable certainty that Olivia couldn't help but plant a kiss on her daughter's cheek. She turned her attention to Natalia's smiling, tear-stained face, murmuring, "I suppose you want one too?"
"Yes, please."
Olivia took Natalia's face between her hands, sweeping her love's tears away with her thumbs. She tucked one finger under Natalia's chin, tilting her head back, and pressed a soft, slow kiss to her lips, a gentle heat fluttering through her at the feel of the younger woman's mouth on hers.
It hit them in the same instant: This is the first time Emma's really seen us kissing. Natalia's breath caught, her eyes flicking to Emma, and a split second later, Olivia did the same. Emma's gaze, she was relieved to see, was serene, a baby Buddha contemplating the strange actions of the adults surrounding her with equanimity.
"Em?" Olivia said. "You okay with us kissing when we know you're there?"
"Sure, Mommy," Emma replied. "I don't know why you guys didn't start doing it sooner."
Natalia let out a laugh which quickly turned into a groan, and Olivia couldn't help but chuckle at the pained smile on the other woman's face. "We don't either, Bean," she said, encircling them both in another hug. "We really don't."
"Now that's a sight worth getting up in the morning for," said a reedy baritone from the doorway. Olivia looked up, meeting a smiling Phillip's gaze. "A family reunited."
"Daddy, Mama said the drawings and flowers helped her get well," Emma declared.
"I told you they would." Phillip shifted his gaze from Emma to Natalia. "It's good to see you feeling better."
"Thank you, Phillip," Natalia said, giving him a grateful smile. "And thank you for bringing Emma to visit."
"Emma needs to spend time with both her moms," Phillip said, his voice matter-of-fact. "I'll be back in an hour to pick her up, if that's okay?"
"That gives us lots of time to catch up." Natalia glanced down at Emma. "I need to hear about what the ducks are up to."
"I'll leave you to it." Phillip hesitated, and Olivia noted something unbearably sad in his eyes as he said, "It's good to see you so happy together. All of you."
He turned to leave the room, and Olivia looked down at Natalia, jerking her head toward the hallway. Natalia nodded, squeezing Olivia's fingers between her own before letting them go and turning her attention to Emma, who said, "That big mean duck was telling all the other ducks what to do and then three or four of the tiny girl ducks got mad and then..."
"The ex-wives all banded together and pecked him to death," Olivia muttered under her breath, unable to resist her amusement at the mental image of Alan the alpha duck getting his comeuppance. She was still grinning when she caught up with Phillip. "What's up with you?"
Phillip turned, giving a shrug, his big hands planted in the pockets of his jeans. "I'm just taking care of something. Not a big deal."
"Okay," Olivia said, not quite sure she believed the guarded look in those pale blue eyes. "I just wanted to say thank you for what you said in there. You being supportive of us as a family and raising Emma - I really never expected it."
"We made a lot of mistakes with each other, Olivia," Phillip said. "But the one thing we did right together was that little girl. She belongs with you and Natalia. All she talks about is moving home to the farmhouse."
"We're still sorting that out, but I think we'll be back there at least temporarily while Natalia recovers," Olivia said, trying to avoid thinking beyond the next few weeks.
"Temporarily?" Phillip gave her an incredulous look. "If you think for one instant that Natalia's going to let you move out, you're nuts."
"I think she's ready for us to be together, but I don't want to commit to anything until we're really sure," Olivia said, the words sounding ridiculous to her ears. Olivia Spencer, the woman who made snap decisions in the bedroom and the boardroom, tiptoeing toward moving in with the love of her life and returning to the only real home Emma had ever known. I'm going to lose my mind if I keep this up, she thought. Ravenwood, party of one. Basket optional.
Phillip looked down at her like he was thinking the same thing. "Would you just stop?"
"Stop what?" she asked, hearing a defensive note creep in her voice. "Stop trying to do the right thing for once? Because I swear to you, Phillip, I will not screw this one up."
Phillip shook his head, giving a soft laugh as he pinned Olivia with his gaze. "You may have forgotten this, but I know you, Olivia. Now that the drama has passed, you're scared to death that you're going to have to figure out how to settle into normal life with Natalia. But you need to just get over it. You love her, she loves you, and you and Emma belong there."
"I just don't want to -" Olivia swallowed. "I'm afraid if we go too fast that it'll fall apart."
"And sometimes it falls apart." Phillip's gaze was unwavering, those blue eyes fired with urgency. "And when it does, you put it back together. Rumor has it that's what people who are committed to each other do. They work at keeping it going."
"What if I'm not cut out for that?" Olivia asked, voicing the fear that had been haunting her ever since she and Natalia had declared their love for each other, the uncertainty at the heart of all her insecurities. "What if I can't do it?"
"You've been looking for a home your entire life." Phillip reached forward to clasp her elbow, squeezing gently. "Let yourself have one, Olivia. Don't waste any more time."
Olivia nodded, her eyes downcast. She felt Phillip step forward, his arms wrapping around her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You deserve to be happy."
Olivia sighed. "Being unhappy is so much easier. You don't have to worry about it being taken away from you."
Phillip let out a soft laugh, that wistful look on his face again. "I should get to my appointment. If you need me, just call. I'll be back soon."
Phillip turned to leave, and Olivia lingered for a second, watching the weariness in her ex-husband's walk. It's like he has the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, she thought. What the hell is going on with him?
Before she could puzzle out an answer, she was distracted by the siren's call of laughter coming from the interior of Natalia's room. I'll grill him later, she thought as she reentered the room, her gaze falling on Emma and Natalia curled up together, Emma explaining something in the most earnest of terms while Natalia listened intently. She watched for a few minutes, studying the effortless connection between her daughter and her love. As if they've been mother and daughter all their lives, she thought, her heart swelling at the realization.
She took another step inside, and Natalia caught the movement, her eyes flicking briefly to the side while a smile crept across her face. The smile only widened when Olivia crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed, her body tucked in behind Natalia's.
Emma paused to take a breath, and Natalia glanced over her shoulder, murmuring, "What're you up to?"
Olivia wrinkled her nose at Emma, who grinned and continued her story about playing hide and seek with James and Lizzie in the rose gardens of the Spaulding Mansion. Olivia let the chatter wash over her, feeling a profound sense of peace. This is how it's supposed to be, she thought. There's no gold at the end of the rainbow. There's just savoring every moment that we have.
Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to Natalia's temple and whispered, "I'm doing something I'm not very good at."
Natalia turned her head, narrowing those expressive brown eyes in an unspoken question.
Olivia slid her hand down Natalia's arm and found her hand, threading their fingers together. "I'm being happy."