Fic - Deadfield - A/U parts 2-4/?

[bronzeashtray]

Title: Deadfield
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia
Rating: Overall R to NC-17

Notes: This is an A/U fic. It's set in "present" day Springfield. A/U assumptions: Olivia left Springfield shortly after her heart-condition diagnosis. Emma doesn't exist.

This is all I'm posting for now.  More to come soon! :D  I hope everyone enjoys it!  (First person to ask for more just might get it haha)


TWO

I'm not the one who’s so far away
When I feel the snakebite enter my veins
Never did I wanna be here again
And I don't remember why I came

-Godsmack

I blinked back into reality with a gasp. I jerked into a sitting position, my eyes were wide, and my hands searched for my weapon.

“Olivia! Olivia, hey, it’s alright. You’re safe,” said a female voice from slightly behind me. Her hand was on my shoulder. “It’s okay. You’re safe,” she said again, and I felt my panic and confusion subside because of it. My head spun in curiosity to see who owned such a powerful voice. My eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Natalia?” I asked partially because I was surprised to see she owned the voice, and partially because I wanted to make sure I remembered her name correctly.

Natalia sat back on her heels and looked impressed.  “Nothing’s wrong with her memory, at least” she said with a smile and looked up. I followed her gaze. Buzz was on one knee looking at me with worry and concern and behind him stood half of Springfield, most of them staring at me with looks of either surprise or disapproval.

“I’m fine,” I said gruffly and began standing. Buzz took my arm and helped me stand. I felt Natalia’s hand press against my lower back to help steady me. “Just surprised. The old ticker isn’t what it once was.” I tapped my chest.

“It’s good to see you, Olivia,” Buzz said and began leading me to a bar stool. “Your heart. It’s okay, right? You’re feeling okay?”

I waved his concern away. “What’s going on here?” I asked when I was settled down into the chair. Natalia was already handing me a mug of coffee, and I accepted it gratefully.

“Alright folks, show’s over,” Buzz said with a small clap of his hands. “Go back to enjoying your dinners. Come on.” He made shooing motions with his hands. “Go on.” People began sitting back down at their tables. I could still feel their eyes on my back.

Buzz settled down next to me and patted my back briefly. “What’s going on?” I repeated.

“Strangely enough, people are eating dinner. Or at least they were before you blazed in here brandishing a gun.”

“I have a feeling tips will be light tonight,” Natalia said with a small laugh as she toweled a glass dry. I blinked up at her and wondered how she could smile so easily.

My eyes kept focusing in on her dimples. David had dimples like that. It was one of the first things that I ever noticed about him. Something about them had always felt familiar. They were just like Natalia’s. When I was with him, I would sometimes focus on them, touch them gently, and when I did, something deep inside me would wish life had turned out differently. I never understood the power those dimples held over me. Was this the familiarity I always sensed? I shook my head at the thought and frowned.

“Seriously? You’re eating dinner?” A flash of anger hit me as I remembered everything that had happened over the past three weeks. “Do you people not have televisions? Radios?”

Buzz glanced up at Natalia and a look I didn’t quite understand passed between them.

“Well,” Buzz began slowly, as if choosing his next words very carefully. “Yes, we’ve heard there’s some sort of plague hitting a few states, but…” He rubbed his chin and glanced up at Natalia.

“What Buzz is trying to say, is that we’re protected.”

I raised my eyebrows and couldn’t help but release a bark of skeptical laughter. “Protected? What do you have? A town-sized condom?” Natalia frowned at me, and I felt like a small child being scolded. I resisted rolling my eyes. “I just wonder what you could possibly have that could save you from the hell that’s breaking loose out there. I drove right into town and didn’t see a single person.”

“Keep your voice down, Olivia,” Buzz said and reached for my arm. I pulled back and took a deep breath. He was going to hear a piece of my mind whether he liked it or not.

Just then, I saw the front door open out of the corner of my eye.   I felt all the air leave my lungs as Phillip Spaulding walked in. He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark camouflage pants.   His shoes were muddy and there was a gash in his forehead that swept from his right eyebrow back through his hairline. For some reason, seeing him like that comforted me. “Phillip?” I said with surprise, not knowing whether to feel curiosity, surprise, or disgust at seeing the man I’d not seen in almost five years walk through the doors of Company.

“Speak of the devil,” Natalia muttered and slipped away to take care of a customer.

“Long time no see, Olivia,” Phillip said. “All roads lead to Springfield, eh?” he questioned with a smirk and sat down next to me. “I saw you drive into town, and thought I’d come in and say howdy doo.” He smiled broadly and slapped the bar animatedly. “How about a beer, Buzz?”

Buzz had shuffled around to the other side of the bar and was already handing him one. I raised my hand to motion I wanted a beer as well. I needed it. I needed about twenty.

“You saw me drive in?” I asked once we were both sipping our beers. Buzz had slipped away, leaving us alone. I looked back into the crowd of diners and noticed a conspicuous lack of glances our way.

Phillip nodded. “You look good in a monster truck.” He shifted his eyes toward me and looked me up and down. “Leather and army green look good on you as well.” I uncomfortably pulled my long leather jacket over my legs. The thought of him looking at my body sickened me.

“It’s far from being a monster truck,” I muttered for no reason other than the fact I wasn’t quite sure what to think of this entire situation. “When did you get back?”

“February.”

“Weren’t you supposed to be dead?”

He had been lifting his bottle to his mouth. When I asked that, he stopped and lowered it again. He looked slowly over at me. Our eyes locked for a long moment before he said, “I’m not dead. I’ve never been dead. Not even for a minute.”

We continued looking at each other. I saw something in his eyes then. It was like he was searching for something. His eyes darted back and forth between mine, as if he was searching each one so deeply he couldn’t take them both in at the same time. I saw pain in his eyes. They mirrored mine.

“How many have you killed?” I asked and took a long swig of my beer.

His eyes fluttered shut. “I lost track a few days ago.”

I nodded and looked away. “Why didn’t you stop me when I drove in? I could have been infected. I could have had an infected with me in the truck.”

“I know you’re not stupid. Plus, James radioed me and told me you were driving in with a pickup filled with guns and ammo in the bed. We didn’t want to spook you. We need all the help we can get.”

“We?” I glanced over my shoulder. “Seems like most people are blissfully unaware of what’s going on in the real world.”

“It hasn’t touched them yet. It’s not real to them.” He shrugged.   “And we’re trying to keep it that way.”

“Who is ‘we?’”

“My family. Remy, Frank… the entire police department. Doris.” He couldn’t resist a chuckle at that. “That woman’s a real spitfire. We couldn’t keep her away.”

I joined in on his chuckle. “I suppose it’s best not to go up against Doris Wolfe.”

He nodded emphatically and rubbed his chin in a way that momentarily erased our broken past and made me feel a pang of affection for him. “A lot of people are helping,” he continued.   “Most people, actually. Some are even here tonight. Company has become a sort of refuge for people - a place to come where they don’t have to think about the horror that’s bouncing against the borders of town.” He glanced behind him, and I saw a man give him a sideways glance. “In fact,” he said and downed the rest of his beer. “Let’s leave these nice people to their dinners. Hmm?” He rose from his chair and extended a hand. I didn’t take his hand, but I got to my feet and motioned to him to lead the way.

I grabbed my shotgun from behind the bar on the way out.

We walked in silence for several minutes along the road outside of Company. I ran my hand over my gun and realized someone had snapped the safety back into place. I wondered who did it, and then I wondered if that person even knew what a safety looked like a month ago. For some disturbing reason, my mind locked onto the image of Natalia taking the gun, uncocking it smoothly, and placing it safely behind the bar. It seemed so natural to imagine the scenario that my mind decided to take another leap. Suddenly, I was seeing Natalia, in her Company uniform, holding my gun firmly and screaming wildly as she pumped bullets into a hoard of the infected.

A shiver ran down my spine.

I broke the silence to escape my twisted imaginings. “I can’t believe you’ve been successful at keeping them back. Chicago was…” I sighed and tried to think of a word that encompassed the horror. I couldn’t. “There are no words for it, Phillip. Chicago doesn’t even exist anymore.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “So I’ve heard. I was hoping the reports weren’t as bad as we were led to believe.”

“The city’s burning to the ground.” I shrugged and managed a cynical smile. “It’s probably for the best. Charbroil the little fucks.”

“Burn baby, burn,” Phillip said and did a short dance move in the middle of the road. I made a noise that I tried to make sound like a laugh. “You gotta laugh or else you uhh…” Phillip tilted his head and looked perplexed. “How does that go?”

“Beats the hell out of me.”

He smirked and put an arm around my shoulder. “We never were the clichéd-saying type were we?”

“Nope. We were mold-breakers, you and me.” I felt him laugh softly, and I leaned against him. It felt surreal, but somewhat comforting. That was one good thing about the apocalypse - silly things that used to keep people apart like blackmail, kidnapping, and attempted murder didn’t seem very important anymore. As long as you were still breathing, you were on the same team.

“Come, on. Let’s go break some more molds.” He dropped his arm and began walking back to Company’s parking lot.

“Where?”

“If you don’t have a problem with it, I’d like to take you, that truck, and all those pretty guns back to…” He spun around toward me and began to walk backwards. “The Spaulding Compound,” he finished dramatically with arms outspread.   I raised my eyebrows in question. “My father renamed the mansion. Like it?”

I shook my head and sighed. Some things never change. “Oh goodie. I just can’t wait to see Alan again,” I said as sarcastically as humanly possible and reluctantly followed Phillip to the truck.

THREE

Ain't nothing in this world for free.
I know I can't slow down,
I can't hold back
Though you know I wish I could
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked,
Until we close our eyes for good.

- Cage the Elephant

The Spaulding’s mansion really did look like a compound. A barbed-wire fence had been erected within the perimeter of the property, and when I pulled the truck up to new fence an unfamiliar rough-looking man nodded at Phillip and opened a locked gate for us.

“Who was that?” I asked as we drove toward the house.

“One of my father’s goons.  You’d be surprised by the amount of his ‘men’ came out of the woodwork after all of this started happening.”

“Oh, believe me, I’m not surprised. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had the Army Rangers on retainer somehow.”

Philip laughed and said, “Hooah,” softly as he directed me to park around the back of the mansion. The five-car garage was closed tight, but I could see strong light peeking through the cracks in the doors.  Once we left the truck, I could hear voices and the sound of metal being cut.

“What’s going on in there?” I asked.

“We’re modifying several large vehicles to withstand a cross-country trek.”

“Why?”

Phillip crossed his arms in a way that looked like he was trying to hug himself and looked up into the night sky. “Just in case,” he said distantly.

I didn’t respond or question him further. I knew what he meant.

“Grab your stuff. I’m sure we can find you a room,” Phillip said as he hopped out of the car. I instantly started to protest. The Spaulding Compound was the last place I wanted to call home.

“Phillip, you can’t expect me to stay here. I’ve had enough of this place for ten lifetimes. I’ll stay at the Beacon or something.”

Phillip shook his head emphatically and opened the backdoor of the truck so I could grab my few possessions.   “The Beacon’s been locked tight. Too much of a liability. If we lost track of an infected in there, all hell might break loose. Come on, Olivia.” He waved me toward the truck.   “Get your stuff. There are a lot of people staying here.” I frowned and didn’t move. “Come on.” He waved again. “I promise Alan won’t try to slip into your room in the middle of the night.”

I laughed despite myself.   “Fine,” I said and leaned into the truck. “But I’m holding you responsible if I’m forced to use this on Alan.” I pulled out a sheathed sword and aimed it somewhere roughly below Phillip’s belt.

“Where the hell did you get that?” Phillip asked with a chuckle and backed away playfully.

“Before I left Chicago, I took to wandering around upscale neighborhoods and raiding houses for weapons and… well, I don’t know.” I shrugged and lowered the sword. “I suppose I lost my mind a bit. I started hunting them.” Phillip gave an understanding nod. “Anyway, I found this on someone’s fireplace mantle. It said ‘Excalibur’ on a plaque in front of it. Crazy, right?”

Phillip gave a crooked head shake indicating he didn’t think it was all that crazy.

“Anyway, it’s well-balanced and sharp as hell. I figure it’ll come in handy when the bullets are gone.”

Phillip smiled. “I’m glad you see you’re so optimistic.”

“Optimistic? I don’t think so.”

“You, my dear, just admitted you thought you’d last longer than…” He peered into the truck bed. “Over twenty boxes of bullets? That’s optimism if I’ve ever heard it.”

I rolled my eyes. “What can I say? I’m a survivor.”

“And that is why I am so amazingly pleased to have you on my team. Now, let’s go find you a room and maybe something to eat. You look terrible.”

Phillip always was such a charmer.

When we finally entered the compound, as I quickly started calling it because it had changed so much from the mansion I once knew, we were met almost immediately by Alan.

“Well, hello there, Olivia. I heard you were back in town. It’s so lovely to see you again.”

“Hello, Alan,” I said flatly. He looked absurd. He had a Rambo-style bullet belt crisscrossing his chest and was clad in full army fatigues.

“I hope you weren’t intending on staying here. I’m afraid the inn is full.”

“I’m sure we can find room somewhere, father,” Philip said.

“Au contraire, Philip, our last room was taken just a few hours ago. Unless you’d like to share a room with me, Olivia?” he asked with a smirk. I frowned in disgust, and he laughed.

“She can stay with me,” said a firm voice from behind Alan.

It was Natalia.

She walked up to me and grabbed my hand. “Come on. We’ll get you something to eat too.”

I gave an unsure glance at Phillip. He shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

I followed silently behind Natalia until we were out of Spaulding earshot.

Natalia broke the silence first. “I’m glad I showed up in time. Knowing Alan he would have had you sleeping either on the concrete in the basement, or cuddled up next to him.”

“You don’t have to do this. I’m sure I could find somewhere else.”

She shook her head. “Most people are sharing a room. I’d rather have you around than someone like Reva or Doris. The only reason I’m still alone is because Rafe was supposed to be back by now.”

She led me into a room which was dominated by a king-sized bed.

“Leave your things here. We’ll go down to the kitchen and see what’s in the refrigerator.” I dropped my bag and sword on a chair and started to walk back toward the door. Natalia stopped me and turned me back around. “Gun, too.”

“I’m not sure I’d feel…”

“You’re safe here. For now anyway.” She tilted her head and said sincerely, “Trust me.”

I frowned and reluctantly laid the gun next to my bag. I felt naked. Everything felt surreal. I glanced at the bed and hesitated again. “You know, Natalia, maybe this really isn’t such a good idea. I mean, I’m sure there must be…”

She interrupted me again. “No,” she said simply and began walking out the door in a way that dismissed me so thoroughly I felt like a chastened child.

I let out a defeated sigh and jogged a few steps to catch up to her.

As I walked with her down to the kitchen, she filled me in on what had been happening the past few weeks. It was mostly what I expected. They’d heard about 4Gen on the news and instantly gone into high alert. There were teams of people guarding the entire perimeter of town, stopping anyone coming in or going out. It was impressive, really. The Spauldings headed it all up, which didn’t surprise me either. Years of paranoia and delusions of grandeur must have prepared them well for this role.

Once we got to the kitchen, Natalia began pulling covered bowls and plates from the refrigerator.

“Is this Buzz’s tuna casserole?” I asked, poking at one of the dishes.

“Nope. It’s mine.”

“Looks good.”

“So they say. I don’t like tuna casserole much myself.” She grabbed the dish from me and popped it in the microwave.

“Why do you make it, then?”

She tilted her head and considered the question for a moment. “I used to make it because I knew people liked it. I wanted to make them happy.”

“Used to?”

She smiled broadly and looked proud of herself. “I just decided to never make it again.”

“Well, I’ll be sure to enjoy it if that’s the case.” I looked at her for a moment and considered her words more closely.   “You’re right, you know. If we’re all going to get our brains eaten by lifeless corpses, we might as well try to enjoy the last moments.”

“I suppose so.” She took the casserole dish from the microwave and placed it in front of me. “But it’s sad that it takes an apocalypse for people to start realizing what it means to live. It's a little too late now, don't you think?” she said as she settled down in the chair next to me. I didn't respond. “Anyway, I hope you enjoy the last dish of Natalia Rivera’s finest tuna noodle casserole.”

I ate in silence for a few minutes. It was wonderful. I’m not sure why I always had such a weakness for such a boring dish, but if I’d probably be tempted to order it if I was ever forced to choose a last meal.

“You’re really never going to make this again?”

She stared at me for a moment, clearly her thoughts had been elsewhere, and then she laughed and rolled her eyes. Dimples seemed to cover her face. “Just keep eating.”

I smiled and happily took another bite. “Where were you just then?” I asked after I swallowed.

“Hmm?”

“You looked a million miles away.”

“Oh. Just thinking about my son, Rafe.”

“Ah, I remember him well. Where is he?”

“With his father, I hope. Last I heard they were driving back to Springfield.” She drew in a deep, worried sigh. “That was over a week ago.”

“Ah… well, I wouldn’t give up hope. I’m sure traveling conditions are… less than ideal these days.” Natalia nodded reluctantly. “Where were they?”

“Rafe was spending the summer with Gus and Harley. They’re living in Atlanta now.”

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I had no idea you and Gus split up.” Memories of the months before I left Springfield came flooding back to me. One of the reasons I so firmly didn’t want to return to Springfield was because I felt myself being drawn to Gus Aitoro. It made me sick to think of falling into the role of marriage-destroyer yet again.

“Oh… yeah.” She began slowly. “I guess you wouldn’t have any reason to. There’s not much to say, really. We tried to make it work for awhile, but it was never meant to be. He was always in love with Harley, and me - I was in love with a dream. I wanted Rafe to have a father. I wanted someone there for him. Someone more than just me.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Understandable, maybe. But it wasn’t very rational.” She shrugged. “Anyway, long story short, we eventually decided to break it off and go our separate ways. Gus and Harley reunited, he got a job offer down in Atlanta, and the rest is history.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, you know. I wasn’t a very good wife, anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

Suddenly the door to the kitchen swung open. “Hello, ladies!” Alan walked in with a broad smile on his face. “Ooooh what have you got there? I thought I’d come down for a little snack.”

I put the rest of the tuna casserole onto my fork and shoved it into my mouth. “Nothming,” I said with my mouth full.

Natalia laughed, and I couldn’t stop myself from feeling a bit of pride for bringing out those dimples once more. “Looks like you’ll have to cook yourself something, Alan.”

Alan looked genuinely disappointed. His gun belt clinked together as his shoulders sank. I actually felt a pang of pity for him

“I think I spied a piece of chocolate cake in there, Alan. Better hurry before I shove that in my mouth too.”

He perked up and trotted over to the refrigerator.

When his back was turned, I grabbed Natalia’s wrist and nodded my head toward the door. As we slipped out, I heard Alan begin to say something about the foolishness of being an early bird if you’re not going to catch the worm.

FOUR

And I’m haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I’m haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head

- Poe

That first night was uneventful. Natalia walked with me back to the bedroom, but left me almost instantly to take care of something. I was exhausted. It was all I could do to stumble into the shower and wash the accumulated dirt and sweat of my journey to Springfield from my body.   I’m pretty sure I was asleep a good five minutes before my head hit the pillow, and I hate to put it like this, but I slept like the dead.

The next morning, I awoke slowly. I felt so warm and comfortable that my body ached to drift back to sleep. However, when reality began poking into my consciousness, I drew a sharp breath and my body stiffened.

“It’s okay,” said the soft, soothing voice of Natalia.

I was lying in her arms. My entire body was pressed against her. My arm draped across her stomach.

“I’m sorry.   I didn’t mean to…” I began saying and moved to pull away.

She held me tight and ran a hand firmly across my forearm to keep it in place.

“Are you comfortable?” she asked.

I looked up into her face. She gave me a small smile. Her eyes looked alert and sharp. I wondered how long she’d been awake. “Yes,” I replied honestly.

“Then, stay. Please?”

I decided life was too short to protest such an honest request, so I relaxed my body against hers. I felt her release a long, relieved breath. She moved her hand up and slowly ran her fingertips through my hair. My eyes felt heavy again. I closed them and without thinking, I gently nuzzled my nose against her chest. I felt her fingers spread wide across the back of my head, and I heard her release a small hum of approval. The sound was almost overwhelmingly comforting.

We lay there for a long moment, neither one of us moving, or making any sounds. I felt sleep threatening to overwhelm me again. However, my eyes blinked back open when she began running her hand lazily over my forearm. I watched her movements silently, not daring to move. I felt like she was casting a spell over me with the slow, languid movements. She would run her hand gently up from my hand to my elbow, pause for the briefest moment, and then run her hand back down. At each pause, I would hold my breath, willing her to continue.

I couldn’t process what was happening. It didn’t even feel real. I didn’t question it. I didn’t have the words to question it. I’d gotten so used to accepting the strange and unexplainable over the past few weeks, that finding this level of solace in the arms of a woman I barely knew felt downright normal.

“We have to get up soon,” she said eventually.

I didn’t move or respond. I was busy willing her hand to continue its path down my arm. When it finally moved, I tried to find my voice. “Why?”

“We have patrol duty at seven.”

This was enough to break my reverie. I shifted my body and looked up into her eyes. They looked dark and sad.

“I…” she continued. “Last night, I set you up as my partner. We go out in teams of two and patrol the perimeter of the city in shifts.   Usually, there are at least a dozen teams out at the same time. I’m sorry I didn’t give you any more time to settle in before throwing this on you.”

“No. Don’t be. I’m glad to help.” I sat up, and she followed my lead. My body acutely felt the loss of contact, but I knew now wasn’t the time to get caught up in… whatever the hell that was.

“Thank you, Olivia. Really.  I was just so tired of my old partner.” She ran her hands through her hair and stood up. I did my best to not notice her erect nipples through her t-shirt as she pressed her hands into her lower back and stretched.   Since when did I notice things like that? Since when did they send a wave of desire blazing through my body? “I don’t think I could have handled another day with him.”

“Who?”

“Frank Cooper.”

I couldn’t help the small laugh that jumped from my mouth. “What? You don’t like Frankie’s endless stimulating conversation?”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. Get dressed or something.” She waved her hand at me dismissively and slipped into the bathroom.

About an hour later, we found ourselves walking together down one of the side streets of the eerily silent town. I was having trouble keeping my eyes off of her. She was dressed completely in black and had two hand guns strapped to her waist in a loose-fitting black holster. A light breeze kept lifting the gentle curls of her hair off her shoulders.   She walked with an easy swagger that I was sure she didn’t possess when she worked as a housekeeper at the Beacon. She looked confident and strong.

“Of course, the perimeter we set up doesn’t cover the entire town,” she was explaining.  “That’s why I had to move to the Spaulding’s. My house was too far out.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t a big loss. Once Gus moved out, I always felt the place was too big and empty just for me. Rafe wasn’t home much, and I’d find myself barely even passing through most of the house. I’m not sure why, but the place never seemed like a real home. Gus bought it for us, so we could have a life together, and when that didn’t work out…” Her voice faded out. “I was actually looking into selling the house and buying an old farmhouse on the edge of town.” She laughed cynically and turned to me with a strange smile spreading across her face. “I guess that isn’t happening, eh?”

I placed a sympathetic hand on her back. “I guess not.”

She fell into step close to me and leaned her head on my shoulder for a brief moment before moving back into stride next to me. “I’m glad you’re here. Frank would have tried to convince me I could have the farmhouse once all of this is over.” She slowed her steps as we reached the empty parking lot of a large grocery store. “I’m just so sick of all the bullshit.”

My first instinct was to tell her it wasn’t all bullshit, that maybe someday she could have the farmhouse and the life she dreamed of, but yeah… it really was bullshit. “I’ve been sick of the bullshit for a long time,” I said instead. She looked over at me and stared into my face for a long time.

“Me too,” she said quietly and looked toward the building across the lot. She cleared her throat, and I saw the expression on her face visibly harden. “We set up this area as the southwestern corner of the perimeter. It’s wide open and you can see them coming from quite a distance in almost every direction. We usually start here, take a turn around that building.” She pointed to a large office building about three blocks away. “And then circle through the park.”

“Sounds good,” I said distractedly. In the distance, I thought I saw movement coming from behind some trees in the park. I tensed and flexed my hands on my gun.

“What do you see?” Natalia asked, instantly on high alert, her hands on the guns at her waist.

I lifted my shotgun to point in the direction of the movement. I began jogging toward it. The adrenaline that surged through my body felt familiar and almost comforting. I’d spent so much of the past weeks living on fear and adrenaline, I’d gotten used to the feeling. I repressed a smile that tempted to spread across my face when I imagined myself burying a bullet into a zombie’s head.

When I got closer to the figure, I realized it was actually two people. One was holding her shotgun over her head in an animated way, and the other was laughing loudly. Clearly, they were alive. My feet came to an abrupt stop, and I felt Natalia, who had been running close behind me, bump gently into one side of my back.

“Shit,” she muttered and moved around me to continue her forward path. “Shit, Doris! What the hell are you here?” she yelled as she stomped toward the two women.

Doris rolled her eyes. “Watch that new potty mouth, Saint Natalia.”

Natalia ignored her. “What you two still doing out here? It’s past eight! Olivia was about to shoot your heads off!” She pointed wildly back at me, and they refocused their attention onto me. I smiled nervously and waved with my free hand as I walked toward them.

“Oh my god! Olivia! I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“Hi, Blake,” I said uncomfortably. “I wasn’t really going to shoot your head off.”

“Ah, yeah. I know,” Blake said dismissively and leaned in to hug me.

“Olivia,” Doris said curtly and nodded at me.

“Doris,” I replied similarly.

“Well, as touching as this reunion moment is, don’t you two have something better to do?” Natalia asked impatiently.

“We must have lost track of time. I’m not really…”

Blake’s voice was interrupted by a crackle from the walkie-talkies Natalia and Doris were holding in their pockets. They each snatched them up and listened intently.

Penetration on the western border. Back up needed. NOW!

“Was that Josh Lewis?” I asked, my eyes wide.

“Yes.” Natalia said. She took off running while shouting, “Back up, on its way” into the walkie-talkie. I followed her without hesitation. Within seconds, I could hear the sound of gunshots singing through the air.

When the four of us finally reached the source of the gunshots, we saw Josh and Frank firing across a field into a mob of the infected.   The men were holding their ground, but the figures were moving closer and closer with each passing second. Some were running, and I could tell the two men were having problems hitting them. Frank was far off to the left, and I saw one infected man sprinting toward him so fast my heart sunk to the floor. I ran forward and aimed at him, but I missed. I aimed again. Missed again.

“Fuck!” Another miss.

“Frank! Run!” I screamed and attempted another shot. Another fucking miss. “Fuck, Frank! Get out of there!” He didn’t move. He only pumped the trigger on his handgun faster. Suddenly, I heard his gun start clicking. He was out of bullets. He kept clicking the trigger mindlessly, and I watched in horror as the monster leaped onto his body and savagely began ripping at the skin on chest. I ran as fast as my feet would take me and l wildly tore the undead man away from Frank’s body. He staggered backward, and with speed I didn’t know I possessed, I raised my gun and shot him in the face. I turned away and cringed in disgust as his head exploded behind him.

“Olivia!” I heard Josh scream from across the field. I turned wildly toward his voice and saw two zombies moving swiftly toward me.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said in a panic and raised my gun again. But before I could pull the trigger, I heard two gunshots go off almost simultaneously. One of the undead fell limply to the ground. The other was still coming toward me. I felt a sense of stillness rush over me as I aimed my gun and it was only another brief moment before I watched the second one follow its partner’s movements and land in a heap in the ground.

I looked around wildly, searching for my next target. I figured there must be more, but the only thing I saw were Josh, Doris, and Blake standing across the field with bodies scattered all around them. Natalia was standing nearer. Her arms were still outstretched and both of her hands steadily held her guns. She was staring blankly at the two corpses that had so recently threatened my life.

The sudden silence was oppressive.

I gritted my teeth and attempted to collect myself. “Natalia?” I forced myself to walk toward her.

My voice seemed to startle her. Her head snapped in my direction. Her eyes were wide and the look in them was raw and wild. When I got close enough to her, she fell into my arms. I could feel her guns pressing into my back as she held me tight.

“You’re okay,” I whispered close to her ear.

She pulled back and looked at me strangely. Her mouth quirked to the side as if she was attempting a smile but couldn’t get her face to cooperate. I was about to say something when I saw her eyes shift and focus on something behind me. “Oh, god,” she said. She pulled back from me suddenly and reached up to cover her mouth. I couldn’t tell if she was doing the action in surprise or horror or something else altogether. She stopped when metal almost hit her face. Distractedly, she holstered the guns and began walking past me. “Frank,” she murmured.

I followed her until she got to Frank’s body. He was still breathing. She kneeled over him and took his hand.

“Frank? Frank? Can you hear me?”

“Natal…”

“Come on, Frank. Stay with us,” Natalia said. There was an almost disturbing lack of emotion in her voice.

“Natalia,” Frank said. He was concentrating hard on his words, and Natalia remained silent. “I want you…” He swallowed and took a deep breath. “To do it.”

“Frank,” she whispered thickly. Her voice had found its emotion. “You can’t expect me to…”

Frank shook his head and looked at her intently. “No more bullshit,” he whispered and his head sunk back onto the ground.

Natalia dropped his hand and stood up with a stagger. I moved forward to steady her, but a strong arm held me back. I looked up. It was Josh, and he was shaking his head at me. He pulled me back until we were out of earshot.

“This one’s Natalia’s,” he said to me quietly.

I watched as Natalia pulled one of her handguns from her waist. She slowly held it up and aimed at Frank’s head.

She didn’t fire.

“What is she waiting for? He’s dead. She can’t risk waiting too long. They come back so…”

Josh held a finger to his lips to silence me. “Natalia waits until they open their eyes again.”

“What?” I asked in surprise. I felt the urge to run forward and start screaming at her for being stupid. “Why?”

“She hasn’t told anyone. I assume it’s because she holds out hope that they won’t turn into monsters.”

Suddenly, I heard a growling hiss come from Frank’s corpse.

A single gunshot blasted through the air.

Natalia stood silently for only a moment before she spun toward me and said, “Come on, Olivia. We’re still on patrol.”

I watched her walk away swiftly, and Josh nudged me to follow her. “Oh, and by the way, welcome back,” he said with sadness and sarcasm coloring his words.

“Yeah,” I responded with a frown and nodded at him before turning to follow Natalia.