Sordid Affairs 32/?
Title: Sordid Affairs
Author: outuendo_11
Rating: PG-13
Show: Guiding Light
Pairing: Spolfe, Mactalia
Spoilers: um...no.
Summary: Olivia and Natalia struggle to make their relationship work with Rafe at home and Olivia finds a confidant in Doris Wolfe.
A/N: If you're behind you can go here> http://outuendo-11.livejournal.com/8164.html and I've posted links to all the other chapters. :)
A/N: SORRY I did not post yesterday. I've fallen behind in writing. So...I'm taking the rest of the weekend to catch up and I'll post again Monday. I expect lots of fun reviews from you people who are bored on a rainy Saturday morning such as this. Mkay...so it's maybe only rainy here...but still!!! Mkay read and comment. I love you all! :)
Chapter 32
“Emma! Ashlee! Olivia!” Doris called as she stepped in from the garage. She struggled to carry her briefcase and the newest addition to their soon-to-be growing family in her arms.
She heard footsteps coming closer and quickly dropped her briefcase, not seeming to care where it landed. She cuddled the bundle of energy in her arms.
“Mom!” Emma called, squealing when she saw what her second mother was holding in her arms.
“What is this?” Ashlee moved towards her mother.
“Girl’s…meet the newest addition to the family.” Doris held up the little, shaking creature. “Butch.”
“Oh, Doris…” Olivia shook her head, unable to keep from laughing.
“I thought we needed a watch dog.” Doris shrugged.
“Um…mom…”Ashlee frowned, and Olivia quickly finished her sentence.
“I don’t think a King Charles Spaniel is going to protect our family.” Olivia was practically rolling on the floor with laughter.
Doris looked a bit hurt. “Well, we needed some testosterone in the house.” Doris shrugged, carefully handing off the little designer dog to Emma who was overcome with excitement.
Ashlee moved to pet the dog and followed Emma over to the couch where they happily began playing with the puppy.
“I thought we were going to talk about this before we got a dog,” Olivia whispered over to her lover.
“Well,” Doris gave her a sly smile, “on my way to work I noticed a guy in front of the grocery store selling puppies and I couldn’t help but go and look…and I knew we had already talked about getting a dog and now is just as good a time as any.”
Olivia couldn’t help but grin. “Did you get the water bowl and food bowl and food, and a leash and collar and all the other things that dogs need?”
“Of course, they’re in the car.” Doris smiled, watching as their daughter’s happily played and petted the puppy, who was quickly warming up to his new family and the attention he was being given.
Olivia just shook her head, unopposed to this latest addition. “Butch?” She finally asked, turning a questioning look on Doris.
“He’s a boy…he needed a good, strong, male…”
“…Butch…” Olivia interjected.
“…name.” Doris grinned.
~*~
“Rafe,” Natalia whispered from her spot on the couch. She had stayed up late to confront her son because she was becoming increasingly worried about him. Ever since the funeral he’d been staying out late and avoiding as much contact with her as possible.
He was quite surprised to find his mother waiting for him and he stopped dead in his tracks. “Ma?”
Something inside Natalia relaxed. He, at least, still called her ‘Ma’. “Rafe, will you please come sit down and talk to me?” She sounded so pathetic. When had he grown up and become so cold?
Rafe just crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “What? What do we have to talk about?”
“I think we have a lot to talk about.” Natalia uncomfortably laughed.
“Like what?” Rafe looked nonplused.
“About me, about you…I’m…I’m worried about you.” Natalia wished she could reach out and hold her little boy like she used to when he was little. She wanted him to be eight again, like Emma, so that he could more easily adapt to this change in her. She wished she had raised him more liberally, to think more openly. But in reality, she could barely think openly. It was hard to accept that she was in love with a woman, but she was gradually realizing it wasn’t anything bad.
“I’d be more worried about you, Ma.” Rafe shook his head.
“Rafe, please…I know…I know that I raised you to be a good Catholic, but look at this, look…you’ve had sex before marriage. What makes that worse or better than loving someone? It’s not as if I’m out sleeping with her, or parading around the streets. I’m trying to treat it like any other relationship, okay? So I’m sorry…I’m sorry Rafe that you feel like you have to suffer through this, but you wouldn’t be happy if I had married Frank. I wouldn’t have been happy…you would want me to be happy, wouldn’t you?” Natalia pleaded, wishing that her son would truly understand and just accept her relationship.
“What do you…I mean what? What do you want me to say, Ma? That I’m happy for you and your girlfriend, Mackenzie?”
“It would help,” Natalia shrugged.
“Well I’m not, okay. I’m just not ready for that.” Rafe moved to leave, but Natalia would have none of it.
“Rafe! Stop leaving when we’re in the middle of a conversation!” Natalia shot up, ready to run after her son.
“Why Ma! Why?! It’s only been a couple of months since Frank died and now you want me to just…what…fall in love with Mackenzie like you have? It’s just…it’s a lot, all right.” Rafe broke down.
Natalia went to her son. She wrapped her arms around him and for the first time in months he let her hold him. He actually allowed himself to be held, to cry against his mother’s shoulder. “I know you miss him, and I know you miss your father, but it’s time to let someone else in.” Natalia whispered, feeling her strength as a mother gradually returning as her son cried in her arms.
“I’m not ready.” He protested.
Natalia was tired of fighting this. “Rafe,” she sighed, “I love you, but I care about Mackenzie very much. And that’s not going to change because you can’t accept it.”
~*~
“Hey,” Mackenzie was all smiles when she opened the door to greet Natalia. They kissed their hello. “Mmm…I’ve missed that.”
“Me too,” Natalia smiled, stepping into the house that was becoming very familiar feeling.
“Natalia!” Paige cried, running towards the older woman who had become her confidant and friend.
“Hey there, sweetheart.” Natalia wrapped her arms around the little girl. “Hey Jake,” she called to Mackenzie’s son, who was standing shyly off to the side. He liked Natalia, but every time she came over he would put on this show of being bashful around her. She found it quite cute.
And after several minutes of talking with Paige and Jake, the two siblings fluttered away, bored with Natalia. The Latina quickly felt butterflies flutter through her entire being when she realized she was finally, momentarily alone with Mackenzie.
“You’re so good with them,” Mackenzie stated as she stirred the red sauce for the pasta she was making.
“Thank you. They’re too adorable not to like,” Natalia’s smile widened as she shyly leaned in to kiss Mackenzie.
It had taken Mackenzie weeks to convince Natalia that her kids did not mind if they happened to catch them kissing. She assured Natalia that her children knew just as well as anybody else that she, Mackenzie, only dated and loved women.
“So…is Rafe coming?” Mackenzie asked, turning back to stir her pasta sauce.
“I don’t know. I asked him very nicely to join us, but I never know with him,” Natalia attempted to help Mackenzie, but she shooed her away.
“Go sit down,” Mackenzie playfully pushed the other woman with her hip. “Well, I hope he decides to join us.”
“I do, too,” Natalia took a seat across from where Mackenzie was cooking, unable to take her eyes off of the gorgeous woman before her. “I want him to be a part of this,” Natalia held out her hand for Mackenzie, who took it, their fingers intertwining as the brunette continued to stir the boiling sauce. “But, I know that it might not be reasonable to include him so soon. It might take him awhile, and I’m willing to take it a step at a time with him, but I told him that I’m not going to stop seeing you because of him and his feelings.”
Mackenzie looked up from her cooking, a smile playing on her face. “You said that?” She flipped off the burner and pushed the pot to the side to cool.
“I did,” Natalia grinned.
“That’s really…that’s wonderful, Nat.” Mackenzie moved around the counter, wedging herself between Natalia’s legs, leaning in to press gentle kisses against Natalia’s more than willing lips. Her arms wrapped around Natalia, pulling her closer. It seemed that since their initial kiss, it was only building up between them. The emotions that raced through them every time they kissed were becoming stronger and stronger and Mackenzie was beginning to lose the ability to control herself around Natalia, but she was frightened that going too far too fast might be detrimental to their unrushed relationship. However, she wasn’t going to let Natalia continue to drag her feet much longer.
Mackenzie’s fingers trailed through Natalia’s raven strands. “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered, her lips still pressed up against Natalia’s.
Natalia blushed, feeling like a giddy teenager again. She never wanted to part from Mackenzie. But the sound of little footsteps coming closer quickly ended the kiss. Mackenzie reluctantly pulled away, and they lightly kissed when Paige and Jake came rushing in and towards the living room.
“Do you want something to drink?” Mackenzie asked, moving towards the refrigerator. “I have some wine left over from the other night.”
“That sounds perfect,” Natalia grinned, watching her girlfriend as she pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“Paige, Jake, will you two set the table, please?” Mackenzie called out as she poured the white wine into the glasses.
Mackenzie began taking dishes filled with food over to the table as Paige and Jake dutifully began getting out plates and silverware. And as soon as everything was arranged and everyone was seated there was a knock on the front door.
Natalia was about to take another sip of wine, but froze mid-drink.
“Is that…?” Mackenzie frowned, having also just taken her seat.
“I don’t…know…” Natalia shrugged, standing up again and moving towards the front door.
Her heart nearly stopped when she opened the door and saw Rafe standing on the other side. He ran his hand through his hair and shifted from one foot to another. “Sorry, Ma I’m…sorry I’m late.” He nearly whispered.
Natalia’s smile widened and she threw her arms around her son. “You came.”
“Yeah…yeah, don’t make a big deal out of it.”
“You’re just in time, you’re not late at all,” Natalia smiled, leading him in to the kitchen. “You remember Mackenzie, and this is her son, Jake, and daughter, Paige.”
“Nice to meet you,” Rafe nodded to each of the kids.
Mackenzie quickly got up and moved to get an extra plate. “We weren’t sure if you would make it or not, but I’m glad you stopped by.”
“Yeah, well I can’t stay long. I promised Daisy I would go see a movie with her.” Rafe tried to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, like his showing up was going to be on his terms, which was fine. He had at least come to have dinner and Natalia couldn’t be happier.
~*~
Rafe was kind and gracious during the meal. He tried, Natalia could tell, he was really trying to act well mannered, behaved.
But once dinner was over, Rafe was finished. He politely excused himself and Mackenzie and Natalia walked him to the door. Paige, who had taken to Rafe, bashfully gave him a hug. He smiled and patted her on the back.
“Thank you for coming, Rafe,” Mackenzie smiled.
Rafe nodded. “Thanks for dinner,” he turned to his mother. “I’ll see you at home later tonight, Ma.”
Natalia hugged him one last time and said her goodbye.
“That went well,” Mackenzie turned to Natalia once Rafe was gone.
“Yeah, it did. I’m surprised.” Natalia felt Mackenzie’s arm wrap around her back.
“Do you want me to make you a cup of coffee?” Mackenzie pressed her lips to the back of Natalia’s hand.
Natalia nodded. “Yeah, that sounds…that sounds good.”
In a matter of minutes they had retired to the couch with a steaming cup of coffee in hand. Their hands were inseparable; their bodies close to one another as they sat. “I think Rafe is really warming up to the idea, don’t you think?”
“I suppose he is. This was a huge step.” Natalia smiled over at Mackenzie.
Their lips met. “We have a few more huge steps left.” Mackenzie whispered against Natalia’s lips.
Natalia captured Mackenzie’s lower lip between her lips, biting it ever so gently. “We’re not…I mean…”
Mackenzie’s lips parted from Natalia’s. “Natalia, I…I know you’ve…you’re Catholic.”
“I am,” Natalia was wondering where this was going.
“So I understand your hesitations.”
“My hesitations?” Natalia looked quite incredulous.
Mackenzie laughed, “about homosexuality.”
“Well…it wasn’t something I had ever…I mean I learned in school and church that it was wrong and dirty and unnatural, so of course I had my hesitations.” Natalia’s hand gently tickled against Mackenzie’s arm, and she knew, deep down in her very soul that everything she had learned about homosexuality was all wrong.
“Did you go to a Catholic school?” Mackenzie sipped her coffee, her hand coming to rest on Natalia’s leg.
“I did. Up until I got kicked out for having premarital sex and got pregnant.” Natalia tried for a sarcastic smile, but it wasn’t quite as funny as she had hoped.
Mackenzie gave her a sad smile. “You’ve really worked to have the life you have now, haven’t you?”
“Well what else could I do? I had a baby and I had to work to support myself. My parents weren’t going to help me once their perfect little girl soiled herself by having sex.” Natalia looked angry at herself suddenly.
Mackenzie nodded knowingly, suddenly realizing that there was more than a religious block for Natalia when it came to consummating a relationship. “At least…” she leaned in to give her a long, lingering kiss, “I can’t get you pregnant.”
Natalia laughed.
“You know,” Mackenzie pressed her lips to Natalia’s, “other religions, such as Buddhism, find that sex is an act that can bring you closer to God.”
“What…” Natalia frowned.
“When two people orgasm together, it’s like a spiritual experience. It’s viewed as beautiful and a way to bring two people closer to God.” Mackenzie stated wisely, smiling as she sipped her coffee.
“You certainly know a lot about religion.” Natalia shook her head, her hand running up against Mackenzie’s leg.
“Well I was a religious studies minor in college. I had to appease my father somehow.” Mackenzie laughed.
Natalia shook her head. Mackenzie was just full of surprises.
“Hey, listen. I’m not saying that we should have sex right now. I want it to be the right time and I want it to be comfortable for you, all right?” Mackenzie ran her hand through her hair, setting her coffee cup on the coffee table before them. She turned and ran her fingers through Natalia’s hair, pressing her lips to willing, content lips.
“All right.” Natalia smiled against full, coffee flavored lips.
~*~
“Mommy?” Emma asked from her spot on her bed.
Olivia stood up from picking up Emma’s clothes off the floor and looked at her daughter. “Yes, Bean?”
“Did you love Natalia like you love Doris?”
Olivia’s knees nearly gave out. “Wha-what are you…”
“When we lived with Natalia, did you like her the way you like Doris?” Emma looked quizzical and contemplative.
Olivia sat down on the edge of the bed. “Well…Jellybean, I…” Olivia took a deep breath. She ran her fingers through Emma’s long, soft brunette hair. “Yes.”
To Olivia’s slight surprise and amazement, Emma just looked down at Butch, who had taken to sleeping with Emma at night. “I miss Natalia.”
Olivia took a deep breath, feeling relief invade her senses. “Oh, Emma. I know, sweetheart. You two were very close, weren’t you?”
Emma nodded, petting Butch.
“Well, I can always call her and arrange for you two to do something, I’m sure she’d love to see you.” Olivia said hopefully.
But Emma didn’t look so excited about that idea. “She has a new family now.”
Appropriately, Butch lowered his chin to rest on Emma’s leg.
“What?” Olivia frowned, reaching out to pet between Butch’s ears.
“When I spent the night at P…P…”
“When you spent the night at Paige’s….?” Olivia finished her daughter’s sentence, waiting anxiously to hear what her daughter had to say.
“I saw her.”
“Paige?”
“No, Natalia. I saw Natalia there. And she was kissing…she was kissing Mackenzie.” Emma’s eyes grew wide.
“Wait…Natalia was kissing Mackenzie?” Olivia’s heart flipped. Natalia had moved on. Finally. And though she felt a bit of regret and momentary sadness and a hint of jealousy, Olivia was happy for her. And slightly surprised that she had chosen Mackenzie and also surprised that they were kissing already.
“Yeah.” Emma nodded her head adamantly.
“Well, Bean, that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t still want to see you.”
“You think so?” Emma looked so darned cute.
“I know so.” Olivia leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Now you get to bed. We have to get you back on your school schedule.”
Emma sighed. “All right. Goodnight, mom.”
“Goodnight, Jellybean.”
And as soon as she exited her daughter’s room, Olivia had to pause to catch her breath. Natalia was kissing Mackenzie York?