Sordid Affairs 15/?
Title: Sordid Affairs
Author: outuendo_11
Rating: PG...for no reason.
Show: Guiding Light
Pairing: Otalia, Olis
Spoilers: um...no.
Summary: Olivia and Natalia struggle to make their relationship work with Rafe at home and Olivia finds a confidant in Doris Wolfe.
A/N: If you're behind you can go here> http://outuendo-11.livejournal.com/8164.html and I've posted links to all the other chapters. :)
A/N: Sorry this post is so extremely late. Or later than I normally am..I had to work at Ann today...it was actually quite exciting. I heart Ann (who, did you know, was not even a woman...the company was made by men! Fun fact for the day). So yeah...story time. And thanks again for the wonderful reviews! You guys are awesome. And I do hope you enjoy this chapter...it's probably one of my favorites...well...half of it is my favorite. It's up to you to decide which half I favor..haha! Well you didn't come here to hear me ramble, so go...read...enjoy...comment. It's very simple. :)
Chapter 15
Natalia was driving as fast as she could through the chilly summer night. She knew she needed to do this. She needed to prove this to herself.
She was headed to the one person she knew she could count on. She only hoped she wasn’t arriving too late. She needed someone to confide in, to comfort her, and this seemed like her only option as of now.
Turning down the road that led to her destination, she suddenly felt her phone vibrating. She quickly glanced down at the device, and immediately registered the familiar name and number that was flashing on her screen.
She didn’t want to answer, couldn’t answer. Not right now.
“Shut up!” She cried, picking up the phone and silencing it. Tears welled in her eyes.
She pulled in to the drive and shut off her car. Quickly she jumped out and ran to the door before she could change her mind.
After knocking three times, a light came on and a familiar figure opened the door. “What are you doing here so late? Rafe’s asleep.” Frank’s face was rather confused as he opened the door wider for Natalia to come in.
“I didn’t come for Rafe.” Natalia quickly explained, stepping in to the rather nice house that her son was currently residing in.
“Well you’ll have to be quiet if you don’t want to wake him up.”
Natalia quickly spun on her heels, pressing her lips feverishly against Frank’s vaguely memorable rough lips.
“Whoa…” Frank gently pushed Natalia away. “What is this all about?”
Natalia sheepishly stepped back, her hands fidgeting for she suddenly didn’t know what to do with herself. Why had she just kissed Frank?
“Natalia, is something wrong?” Frank blindly inquired.
Was something wrong? How about Natalia’s entire life. Her son ran away from her, she fell for a woman accidentally, she’d denied said woman a kiss and now she’d just kissed the man she had almost married, whom she hadn’t been in love with to begin with, and he was asking her if something was wrong.
She collapsed on the couch, placing her head in her hands. “What am I doing, Frank?”
“I’m not sure,” Frank took a seat on the couch beside Natalia. “What happened to Olivia?”
“See, Frank, that’s the thing.” Natalia looked up at him. “I can’t…I can’t be with her.” Natalia rubbed her forehead, wishing she could rewind her life and go back to before Gus had died. She’d wished she’d stopped him from going to see Olivia in the first place and then perhaps he would still be alive and she wouldn’t have fallen for Olivia and gotten herself into this huge mess.
Frank looked rather surprised by this statement. What did she mean she couldn’t be with Olivia? After all she had put her son through, him through…it just didn’t seem fair that she could now so easily state that she couldn’t be with Olivia.
“I was wrong,” Natalia finally said, her mouth turning to an upside down frown.
“So you…you’ve come to tell me this…why?”
“I was supposed to meet her tonight. I was supposed to go and we were going to talk and work things out, but…I couldn’t.” Natalia sighed, exasperated. She was on the verge of tears. “I was supposed to go get her tonight and I couldn’t. And I came here instead.”
Frank looked rather put off and confused by this conversation. He no longer had that love sick look in his eyes when he looked at Natalia and Natalia soon realized that Frank was not the man she had once known. She had soiled their relationship when she’d left him at the altar and no amount of talking would win him back.
But she didn’t want him back.
Frank finally sighed, “well your son will be glad.” Frank shifted. “Do you want something to drink?”
“No, I’m all right…I just…I don’t want to be alone right now.”
“Okay.” Frank studied her.
“Can I just…sit here…for a little while?”
“Sure,” Frank shrugged. “I’m going to go make some coffee.”
Natalia just nodded, staring blankly ahead at the black TV screen before her.
~*~
Right before midnight Natalia made the decision that she needed to go home. She didn’t want her son to wake up and find her at Frank’s house, and so she left.
And as she got into her car, she found that her phone was flashing with a voice message.
Tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes as she picked up the phone, wondering what Olivia Spencer could possibly have to say to her now.
She listened as her phone connected over to her voicemail, and she waited, her heart breaking when she heard Olivia’s voice on the other end.
“I don’t expect you to pick up…it’s all right. I understand you’re angry with me, but I’ve come to a realization. I love you very much Natalia Rivera, and I want you to know that, but I'm tired of this. I'm so tired. I deserve love. And funnily enough, it was you that taught me that I deserve it. But you aren't willing to give it and I need someone that can.” Olivia took a deep breath on the other end of the phone before she continued and Natalia felt like her whole world was falling apart, “And I think you…you deserve someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. You need someone who you can be comfortable with and not someone you want to hide. I want everything in the world for you Natalia because you deserve it all. But I’m not that person. I don’t think I could ever be. But…I…um…I hope you’re okay. I miss you. And maybe someday we can go back to being friends; like we were…but right now I need someone who is more than a friend. So, goodbye for now, Natalia.”
Olivia’s phone clicked off. The annoying voice on the voicemail began talking, but Natalia was so shocked and stunned that she dropped her phone. It slipped from her hand and down to the floor of her car.
Tears fell freely down her cheeks and she cradled her head in her hands as she cried.
~*~
Doris was at the hotel bar sulking in a martini.
She had arrived in Chicago an hour ago, checked into her room, and then had made a beeline for the bar. She wanted to forget, to get lost in a crowd of strangers, in a drink.
But the small late night crowd was doing little to ease Doris’ mind. There was no one sitting near her, no one to fall into a mindless flirting conversation with. She was alone. In a big city. With no one but herself to keep her company.
And the only thing she could think of was the fact that Olivia was probably at her hotel, in her hotel room with Natalia. And by now they’d probably reconciled their differences and were cuddled up in each other’s arms.
Doris couldn’t help but wonder if Olivia had finally gotten her well deserved kiss from Natalia…or perhaps they’d actually gone the extra mile and they were now in bed together.
The thought made Doris grimace and she quickly busied her lips with her drink, wanting desperately to be the only woman Olivia kissed and bedded. She wanted to taste that temptingly sweet skin that always smelled like lavender and roses. She wanted to feel Olivia’s hair beneath her fingers as their lips pressed feverishly together as they had several times in the past month…but this time Doris’ tongue would wonder deeper. She wanted to feel those gorgeous lips moving all over her body, and in return she wanted to touch and feel and hold Olivia. She wanted to taste the sweet….
Doris choked on the olive she had just unconsciously stuck in her mouth.
These thoughts had to stop…she knew this wasn’t in the cards for her.
She choked back her drink, wondering if she needed something stronger. She almost wanted to get plastered so she could go back to her room and just pass out and forget the past few months had ever happened. But at the same time she knew drinking wasn’t going to solve any of her problems.
But here was the bartender, holding out a glass of champagne for her.
“What?” Doris had been zoning out so much that she had missed what he had said.
“It’s from the woman at the end of the bar,” the bartender repeated, setting the glass on the bar in front of Doris.
There was a woman at the end of the bar, buying her a drink? Was she that obviously gay? Could this be someone new, someone with whom she could begin to forget Olivia Spencer with? At least for the night?
With piqued curiosity, Doris turned and found two pools of smoldering green eyes, burning so brightly that they were nearly blinding from half way down the bar. Doris forgot how to breathe. She had to be dreaming, this was all one weird, twisted dream. Any second she was bound to wake up and step back in to reality. There was no way she could be here.
But now she was moving toward her, coming ever closer and Doris realized she couldn’t be dreaming.
“Olivia?”
“Hey there pretty lady,” the familiar smoky, sultry voice was addressing her and Doris felt tears welling in her eyes.
“That’s the best you can do?” She managed a laugh through her suddenly copious amount of tears.
“Would it make it better if I gave you a rose?” Those playful green eyes turned suddenly very, very serious and it sent a chill through Doris’ entire body. Olivia produced a beautiful red rose from behind her back and handed it to Doris, their hands touching in the process, sending a chill down Doris’ spine. The things this woman did to her…
“I…I think it would,” Doris nodded, biting her lip. “What are you doing…here?” Doris gasped through surprised, elated tears.
“You, hopefully.” A slow smile spread across those luscious lips that Doris had been dreaming about for the past month, Olivia’s words not registering in her mind for several moments, and when it dawned on her what Olivia had just said she…
“What?!” Doris suddenly looked as if she’d been slapped.
Olivia took Doris’s hand in her own, sitting down in the seat beside her. “No, seriously, Doris these past few months with you have been amazing. And I realized, I want that….what we have, I want that for the rest of my life. With you, and Ashlee and Emma.” Olivia’s hand reached up to gently stroke Doris’ cheek as she spoke, her words seeming surreal to a still astonished Doris. It seemed all too good to be true.
“I…I want that, too.” Doris swallowed, “but…but what about Natalia?”
Olivia shook her head, her fingers rubbing gentle circles at the back of Doris’ neck. Her eyes stayed solely focused on Doris’ watery blue eyes. “I learned a lot from Natalia. She helped me to become a better person, and she taught me that I deserve to be happy. And what I realized over the past few months is that I’m happy with you. I’ve never felt this happy with someone before in my life. Doris, you deserve to be just as happy as I am, and I want to be the person who makes you happy. I want to be the person who loves you.” Olivia’s hands had found Doris’ as she spoke, and now they were staring intently into one another’s eyes.
“You…” Doris thought her heart might stop beating.
Olivia nodded, her own eyes tearing up, her lips turning into a smile. “I love you, Doris Wolfe. I have for some time now but you wouldn’t let me say it.”
“I-?” Doris opened her mouth to protest, but stopped herself and laughed. “I love you, too.”
Doris’ hand wondered briefly upwards, caressing Olivia’s soft cheek. Olivia’s eyes fluttered shut as Doris’ fingers traced down her neck and tangled in her hair, pulling her head closer so that her lips could brush ever so slightly against Olivia’s waiting mouth.
“I love you, so much,” Doris whispered against the brunette’s lips.
“I love you, too,” Olivia responded, leaning her chin up so she could kiss Doris, but Doris quickly gained control, their lips colliding together in an entirely mutual kiss. A kiss that sent an electric shock racing through Doris’ body, causing her skin to flush, her body to feel as if it were floating. Olivia’s lips were warm and inviting. Her mouth tasted like cool, fresh mint. Doris could feel Olivia’s hands, wondering down to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. Doris’ fingers tightened in Olivia’s hair, readjusting ever so slightly so that she could pull their bodies closer, never wanting to lose this intense connection they had.
It was entirely too heated and Doris began to feel her already alert center warming further as Olivia’s fingers snaked beneath her shirt, running circles against her lower back. She was lost to Olivia’s kiss, her touch. She could barely register anything but their lips still moving together, the feel of Olivia’s warmth wrapped tightly around her.
Hazily Doris remembered where they were and she realized that this was probably not the best place to be doing what they were doing. “Liv…Olivia,” Doris began protesting, her lips unable to disconnect from Olivia’s.
“What?” Olivia responded, a frown appearing on her glorious, glowing features.
Their lips continued to connect, for they were lost on one another. “We should...my room…fifth floor.” Doris hastily got out between kisses.
“Good thing I already paid for the drinks,” Olivia smirked as their lips unwillingly parted.
Doris smiled, their bodies still intertwined as they sat trying to catch their breath. There was a minty flavor lingering in Doris’ mouth and she gave Olivia a playful look, “you brushed your teeth for this, didn’t you?”
Olivia gave her a shy smile in return, moving to stand up. “Yeah…yes I did.”
Doris laughed, their hands unable to untangle from one another as they made their way through the hotel bar and towards the lobby.