Sordid Affairs 9/?
Title: Sordid Affairs
Author: outuendo_11
Rating: PG...for no reason.
Show: Guiding Light
Pairing: Otalia, Doris
Spoilers: um...no.
Summary: Olivia and Natalia struggle to make their relationship work with Rafe at home and Olivia finds a confidant in Doris Wolfe.
A/N: If you're behind you can go here> http://outuendo-11.livejournal.com/8164.html and I've posted links to all the other chapters. :)
A/N: Thank you soo much for your continued support and love fort his slightly weird fic. I hope you all continue to like it and stick with me. Don't go away, you might miss something! And I do realize that it was horrible for Nat to not call Olivia when Emma showed up, but I think Olivia realized where her daughter was and so I don't think it was necessarily awful that Nat didn't call her...anyway...that is a small point in this large fic that is about to get CRAZY! So hold on to your hats and enjoy this ride...or at least pretend like you're enjoying it! And now que the theme song for Chris' version of Guiding Light..
'Only love can save the world...lalalala..."
And story...
(I'm ridiculous...)
Chapter 9
They were lying together in the room that had become very familiar to her in the past month. It felt, to her, like she was getting taken from one house to another, being forced to accept the new home as her own. She wished that they could just settle down somewhere. But she knew that right now that would not happen.
She had tried to help, she’d worked hard to make amends, but to no avail. She’d watched Olivia walk away from Natalia that day at Company and she knew it wasn’t going to be right until they got back together, until they were back in the farmhouse.
But for now it felt like home, curled up in Olivia’s arms. Or as close to home as it could possibly feel. The farmhouse would always be home, but this was close enough.
Olivia sighed, a strangled sob catching in her throat. She had been crying since they had returned from Company. She was so broken and lost.
Emma knew her mother was mad at her, but she’d never been so mad that she’d cried when Emma had returned. Usually Olivia got over it within a couple of hours, but she’d been upset for quite some time now. Emma knew it had to do with her mother not talking to Natalia, not inviting her over. She had seen the distracted, frightened look in her mother’s eyes at Company and she knew it had been because she missed having Natalia as her best friend, her confidant.
“Why did you run away, Emma?” Olivia sighed, running a hand over her cheek, wiping at the tears.
“I wanted to see Natalia.” Emma sighed, snuggling closer against her mother’s body. “And I thought if you saw her you would be happy.”
Emma could hear a strangled, hollow sob escape from her mother’s lips, and she looked up to see her sad mother. “Oh, bean,” Olivia leaned down and pressed a kiss against her daughter’s forehead. “Thank you, but I can’t see Natalia right now. I just can’t.”
“Because it makes you sad?”
Olivia nodded.
“Because you’re taking a break?”
Olivia nodded again.
Emma scooted closer to her mother, wrapping her arms tightly around Olivia. Tears welled in Emma’s eyes; she buried her face deep in her mother’s shirt.
~*~
Unbeknownst to the two Spencer’s, Doris stood at the doorway, watching their interaction.
She knew that Olivia missed Natalia; she’d known Olivia still wanted her.
This moment only made it all the more clear.
And it broke her heart, but solidified what needed to be done.
~*~
Olivia was drinking by noon the following day. She hadn’t been able to face Natalia at work and so when Natalia had gotten back from her lunch break, Olivia had sneaked out to drink. Because drinking was her only solution, drinking made her momentarily forget, wallow in her pity for a moment longer. She wished it cleared her mind and made things easier to handle, but alas all it did was warm her insides and give her a slight buzz.
She swallowed down nearly half of her second martini, knowing she shouldn’t drink so heavily so soon and while on the job, but she was unable to stop herself, slow herself down. Thoughts of Natalia kept floating around in her mind. Her daughter crying alongside her the previous night brought tears to her eyes.
But she would be damned if she cried at a bar.
And as if the situation couldn’t possibly get any worse, Frank Cooper walked in to the bar.
He looked distracted and rather upset.
It seemed only fitting that he would take the seat next to Olivia.
“You’ve really gone and fucked things up, now haven’t you?” He openly exclaimed, waving for the bartender to get him a beer.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Olivia frowned, sipping her martini.
“Rafe has come to live with me.”
“How is that my problem?”
“Well clearly his mother has been moping around for the past month and I can only imagine it’s because of you.”
“So I get blamed for Rafe moving out of the farmhouse because his mother’s…what? Sad?”
“I don’t know what the hell you did, Spencer, but you’d better fix it.”
“And what would you have me do, Frank?”
Frank just swallowed his mouthful of beer and shook his head.
“Where is Rafe?”
“I don’t know, out…somewhere.” Frank shrugged.
Olivia swallowed hard, feeling the vodka burning down her throat. “He needs…he needs to be there for his mother. Not out running away for no reason. What the hell has gotten in to him?”
“I have no idea.” Frank shook his head.
“Well we need to find him! And get him back home!” Olivia proposed, knowing that even though she couldn’t possibly fix things with Natalia, she could at least fix things between her and her son. She was not going to let Rafe walk away from his mother, not right now, not when she needed him.
“He doesn’t want to go home, Olivia. That’s no home for him.” Frank muttered.
“Shut the hell up, Cooper. It’s a better fucking home than you could ever give him.” Olivia exclaimed, setting her drink roughly on the bar. “Thanks for buying.” She whispered to him as she got up and made her way to the exit.
~*~
It was no easy task finding the young man. He was well versed in the art of hiding from people. But Olivia suspected she might find him at a small park on the out-skirts of town.
She wasn’t surprised to find him there. He was sitting on the edge of a bench, staring out at the lush forest ahead of him.
Olivia turned off her car and moved to get out, but in her drunken state she tumbled slightly, alerting Rafe to the fact that she was there.
He turned, immediately and upon seeing Olivia he ran his hand angrily through his hair and got up.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“I came…I came to find you,” Olivia realized she was still a bit buzzed, her voice wasn’t steady.
“Why did you come out here to find me? What the hell do you want from me? What can you possibly have to say to me after what you did!” Rafe cried, very, very angry.
“Whoa,” Olivia put up her hands. “What the hell did I do?”
“You made my mom believe that she fell in love with you! It’s just wrong and sick and gross and twisted. It’s not true! Tell me it’s not true!”
“She…she told you?” Olivia was shocked. Absolutely floored.
“What?” Rafe stumbled backwards. “No. She can’t be in love with you.”
“Well what if she was?”
“She’s a Godly woman, Olivia. Unlike you. Who screws everyone.”
Olivia stumbled slightly, surprised by Rafe’s over-anger, surprised by his words. “Hey!” Olivia snapped. “She is a wonderful woman. Fuck it, she is a Godly woman! Just because she fell in love with me doesn’t make her any less of a Godly fucking woman!” Olivia screamed, able to disregard what Rafe had said about her, but not what he had said about his mother. “And any more I have no idea why she fell for me, but she is still your mother and she still loves God and if you can’t get past the little details of your mother loving another woman than you are one screwed up, fucking little brat who needs to grow up.”
And with that Olivia turned to go, turned to get back in her car.
Rafe was yelling by then. “You can’t tell me what to do! Go fuck yourself Olivia Spencer!”
Olivia gave him the finger and backed out of her parking spot, knowing that the conversation she had just had with Rafe was going to do little to win back Natalia’s heart.
But wait…why did she want to?
They were ancient history, now weren’t they?
…but she’d told her son.
That had to mean something…
…but what about Doris?