Fic: Stay (4/4) - Guiding Light, Otalia
Title: Stay (4/4)
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia / Natalia
Rating: 15 (well it is the finale!)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Guiding Light or any of the characters
Spoilers: Takes place directly after the episode of 12th June ‘09
Summary: Olivia helps Natalia to deal with Rafe’s reaction to their relationship
Author's Note: If you missed them, here's part 1, part 2 and part 3.
An extra long part to wrap this up :-)
Emma was the first to run to Natalia’s side when they entered the small hospital room. Natalia was sitting up in bed, evidently still a little woozy, but with her left hand neatly bandaged and no other trace of injury. She patted the bed with her good hand, and the girl instantly climbed up and snuggled into the crook of her arm.
Olivia followed closely, the smile on her face at Natalia’s interaction with her daughter standing in stark contrast to the fear and anxiety evident in her eyes. She approached the bed and covered Natalia’s hand with her own, her other hand stroking Emma’s hair, if only to stop herself cupping Natalia’s face and kissing her in sheer relief that she was alive and ok. She’d only been able to glean minimal information from the earlier hospital call, and beyond the fact that Natalia had cut herself and passed out, she’d had no idea as to the extent of her beloved’s injuries, consequently dreading what she might find.
“What happened?” she murmured softly.
Natalia shook her head slightly, the gesture imperceptible to all but the woman standing beside her. Natalia had suddenly found herself fighting back tears as Olivia’s caring tones brought back memories of the morning’s events, and she didn’t trust herself to speak.
She glanced over to the doorway, where Rafe hovered uncertainly, feeling every bit the outsider in the family tableau. She lifted her bandaged hand enough to beckon slightly to him, wincing at the sharp pain as she cupped her fingers.
“Come,” she said softly.
Rafe moved forward awkwardly to stand at her other side, and Natalia was somewhat suprised to note that he too seemed to be struggling with emotion.
“I’m sorry, ma,” he muttered, so quietly that Natalia had to strain her ears to catch what she said.
“Rafe, it’s...” she began, her voice breaking.
“No.” Rafe’s voice was firm. “No.” He couldn’t do this now. He was a man, for God’s sake. He had to stay strong. He’d survived jail, so why was his resolve failing him now? He could not break down in a room full of people. Especially not when those people included Olivia Spencer. Rafe knew that he was dangerously close to crying and he could not let that happen.
“Hey, Em.” He turned to the little girl, his voice forced and bright. “Want me to take you for a soda.”
“I want to take care of Natalia,” Emma answered, smiling up at her other mommy.
Olivia glanced uncertainly from Natalia to Rafe and back again, taking in both their anguished expressions, desperately trying to gauge the dynamic between them. Rafe obviously needed some time to himself, and she was dying to ask Natalia what he had said that morning. Even more importantly, her whole body was itching to be close to Natalia, and she couldn’t do that with the other two in the room. She lifted Emma down from the bed. “Go get a soda, sweetie. I’ll take care of Natalia. I promise.”
“Ok.” Reluctantly, Emma slipped her hand into Rafe’s as he all but ran from the room.
***
No sooner had they been left alone than Olivia cupped Natalia’s face in her hands and planted a relieved kiss on her forehead and another on her lips.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” she breathed, pulling back to gaze into the other woman’s dark eyes. Natalia looked up at her, her face so full of anguish that Olivia thought her heart would stop right there.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “I was just trying to surprise you.”
“Well you certainly did that,” Olivia joked, then regretted it instantly as Natalia’s expression crumpled and the tears began falling thick and fast.
“Baby. I didn’t mean...’ she hastily tried to backtrack, then gave up and sank down on the bed, contending with the pillows to wrap her arms as tightly around Natalia as she could manage.
“I was making a picnic.” Natalia gulped between sobs. “The carrots.. the knife... I don’t know...” She broke off the explanation and turned to look the other woman in the eye. “Oh Olivia, I said some awful things to him before.”
“It’s ok, sweetheart, it’s ok.” Olivia took a deep breath to control the tremor in her voice, and hoped the other woman couldn’t feel her hands shaking as she stroked her back and hair. She really was terrible at this. She was so out of her depth. She panicked if Emma fell on the playground for God’s sake. How she’d ever believed she could be what Natalia needed, she didn’t know. It was no surprise she’d earned herself the reputation she had if human emotion scared her so much... She took another deep breath, pushing back the unwelcome intrusions into her thoughts. Natalia had changed all that. That wasn’t her any more. Natalia had taken care of her so well. And it made her want to change. It made her want to be able to do this. She continued to soothe the other woman as Natalia stumbled over her teary fragmented explanations.
“I told him... it was his fault... I blamed him... he went away... I blamed him for leaving...”
“And what did he say?” Olivia probed gently.
“He said...” Natalia broke off, aware how much her response would hurt the other woman. Briefly, she considered lying, but realised that with everything that had happened, she didn’t have the energy for anything but the truth. “He said... that you and Emma aren’t his family...”
Natalia watched as all the colour drained from Olivia’s face and she seemed visibly to shrink, much as Natalia had done when she’d first heard the words, a few hours earlier.
When Olivia finally recovered her ability to speak, her voice was hesitant and uncertain. “That’s not what you think is it?” Her eyes remained trained on the floor, not trusting herself to look at the other woman.
In that moment, Natalia suddenly hated herself more than she ever had before. The woman she loved looked so lost, so small, so insecure, and Natalia couldn’t believe that she’d been the one to do that to her.
“No,” she garbled, stumbling over the words in her haste to get them out. “No. I love you Olivia. I love you and nothing will ever change that.”
And suddenly both women were crying, tears mingling as they held each other close, clinging to each other as they reaffirmed their love.
***
Rafe watched through the window in the hospital room door as his mother and Olivia hugged and Olivia planted small kisses across his mother’s face. He could tell both women were crying, and he felt tears return to his own eyes. Had he done this? Was this whole stupid situation all because of him? Emma’s hand lingered on the door handle, but Rafe put his own fingers out to stop her, instead scooping her up into his arms and burying his head in the soft cotton overing her small shoulder.
“Rafe?”
“Uh huh”
“Are you crying?” Emma’s voice was timid and tinged with concern.
“No, Em, I’m just.” Rafe broke off. Who the hell was he kidding. “Yeah, I’m crying.” He tipped the small girl backwards a little so that he could look her in the eye and smiled weakly. “But it’s a secret, ok?”
“Ok.” Emma nodded solemnly and threw her arms round his neck once more.
***
The emotions had cooled a little by the time the doctor entered the room an hour later, to tell Natalia that she was fine to go, on the condition that someone stayed with her to watch for signs of concussion, and that she returned in ten days time to have the stitches in her hand removed.
No sooner had they stepped outside the hospital than Natalia’s natural instincts began to take over and she felt compelled to take care of her brood. “I think we have some beef in the fridge... How about lasagne for dinner?”
“Now just you stop there.” Olivia’s voice was firm, and she crossed in front of Natalia, bringing her up short. “We are going to go home...” She blushed as Rafe raised his eyebrows ever so slightly. “... back to the farmhouse,” she corrected. “You are going to sit on the sofa and take it easy, and I...” she paused, emphasising the final word, “...I am going to make supper.”
“Ok,” Natalia nodded, too tired to protest. “Ok. That would be nice.”
***
They entered the farmhouse through the front door, and Olivia instantly settled Natalia on the couch with a movie, giving Emma strict orders to stop her if she so much as thought about helping, before heading towards the kitchen. Rafe, again hovering awkwardly on the edges of the family tableau, made to disappear upstairs, but Olivia stopped him in his tracks with a covert glare.
“Oh no you don’t. You’re helping me with dinner, young man.”
For a second, Rafe thought about defying her, but it had been a long day, and he didn’t have the energy. Besides, there was something in Olivia’s eyes which made him just a little wary, and he estimated rightly that he was skating on thin ice. Natalia raised her eyebrows in surprise as her son meekly followed Olivia into the other room, then turned her attention back to the television screen and the young nurse snuggled up beside her.
***
Rafe’s head was still spinning slightly from the activity of the day as he followed Olivia into the kitchen, then promptly crashed into her back as she stopped short.
“Wha...” he began, irritated, then trailed off, as over Olivia’s shoulder he caught sight of the bloody knife and tea towel, and the small pools of blood across the chopping board and floor.
“Shit,” he whistled under his breath.
Olivia turned to him, her face ashen. “The doctor said she didn’t lose a lot of blood,” she murmured in shocked disbelief, before seeming to snap herself out of her trance. “You stay here,” she commanded authoritatively, eyeing Rafe carefully. “And under no circumstances are you to let Emma or your mom through here until I’ve had a chance to clean this up.”
Rafe merely nodded, shaken by the reminder of the grim reality of the situation, and thankful for the first time he could remember that Olivia Spencer was around to take charge.
***
The clean-up operation complete, Olivia set Rafe to work on the onions, before crossing to the cupboard and pouring herself a generous helping of something strong. She set another glass in front of Rafe, who looked up at her in surprise.
“Don’t tell your mom. And for pity’s sake don’t tell Frank. But I figured you could use it.”
Rafe’s eye’s narrowed as he lifted the glass. Olivia’s hands were shaking slightly, her face was pale and he was pretty sure she’d been crying again. He didn’t get it. This wasn’t the Olivia he knew. The Olivia he’d known before he went away was cold and calculating. Nothing ever got in her way, and nothing ever got to her. That was the Olivia he’d seen when he arrived home last night, manipulating his mother to fit in with whatever little game she was playing, with no regard for who she hurt along the way. But the Olivia he’d seen at the hospital, the woman who was standing in his kitchen right now... she was kind, she was sincere, and she sure as hell knew how to take care of his mom. Without realising what he was doing, he groaned out loud. It was all so damn confusing. Everything seemed to have changed since he’d been away and he didn’t have a clue how to start to fit in.
He realised, as he drained the glass and set it down on the counter, that Olivia was watching him shrewdly, and he flushed slightly, praying to God that she hadn’t been able to read his thoughts.
“What did you say to her this morning?” Olivia asked him quietly, and Rafe was taken aback to note that there was more sadness than anger in her voice.
Rafe shrugged, embarrassed. “Nothing,” he stated sulkily.
Olivia raised her eyebrows, quickly losing her patience. “Nothing didn’t cause this,” she snapped and threw her hand out, indicating the now spotlessly clean kitchen. Rafe’s face fell, and Olivia instantly felt guilty. “I’m sorry,” she murmured grudgingly. “That was out of line. This wasn’t anybody’s fault.” Silently, she chastised herself, realising suddenly that however grown-up Rafe might think he was, however much she wanted to give him a piece of her mind for the way he’d been acting of late, she was still the adult in this situation and underneath the bravado he was nothing but a lost kid.
Rafe shrugged and abandoned the onions, sprawling defeatedly in a chair. “You’re probably right,” he admitted, uncharacteristically. “It’s just...” he hesitated again, reluctant to open up and Olivia gave him what she hoped was an encouraging look.
“It’s just... so much has changed since I’ve been gone. It used to be just me and Ma. And now... she’s got you and Emma... she doesn’t need me any more.”
Olivia took a deep breath as Rafe’s outburst hit her, and silently wondered how many more times that day her heart would be wrenched from her chest by the look on a Rivera’s face. She crouched down so that her eyes were level with his and took his hands in her own. He initially pulled back, but then relaxed and let her hold him, ultimately lifting his eyes to meet her gaze.
“Of course she still needs you Rafe,” she said softly. “And so do I.”
“You do?” There was no mistaking the skeptical surprise in Rafe’s expression as he pulled back and regarded Olivia quizzically.
“Yeah, I do.” She stood up and perched on the edge of the table, stretching out her legs to relieve the numbness. “Look, I’m not going to pretend this’ll be easy.” Olivia began bluntly. “And I know you probably think a lot of bad things about me. But I do love Natalia, and I want her to be happy. And I need you for that.” She paused. “Please? She can’t be happy without you.” She looked imploringly at Rafe.
“Ok,” Rafe nodded slowly. “Ok. But I’m not ready for this two mommies stuff just yet.” Olivia nodded, trying to concentrate on her inital small victory rather than the rejection implied in the rest of Rafe’s words. “I’m not Emma. I’m still easing back into all this family weirdness, and I need a little time, ok?”
Olivia nodded again, her relief evident on her face. “I reckon I can live with that.”
“So what now?” Rafe began slowly, a hopeful grin spreading across his face. “We have another drink to celebrate?”
Olivia swatted him playfully. “Now, you get on with those onions.”
***
“I’m tired,” Emma whined, yawning loudly some hours later.
Olivia stretched out in the armchair, where she’d been close to falling asleep, full of the deliciously successful dinner which she and Rafe had prepared and worn out with the drama of the day. “OK baby,” she smiled at her daughter, then reluctantly peeled herself off the chair, casting an apologetic smile at Natalia who was snuggled on the sofa with Emma, while Rafe lay sprawled on the floor in front of them, his head resting on his mother’s legs. “We should get going.”
“Wait.” Rafe jumped up, an edge of alarm to his voice. “Aren’t you going to stay tonight?”
Olivia raised her eyebrows questioningly, feeling more than a little disoriented.
“You heard the doctor,” Rafe continued, in full flow panic mode now. “She could have a concussion. What if something happens? You’re so much better at that stuff than me,” he finished, remembering the way Olivia had taken charge in the kitchen and eyeing her desperately
“Ok.” Olivia blinked and nodded slowly, catching Natalia’s eye, and frantically biting down on her lower lip to stop herself laughing at the panic in Rafe’s face. “Ok. I’ll stay. That’s if you don’t mind?” she added suddenly turning to Natalia, a hint of insecurity flitting across her face.
Emma tugged at Natalia’s arm, nodding frantically, her earnest expression willing her other Mommy to say yes. Natalia smiled and shrugged, subtle amusement evident on her features at the ambush and the three expectant faces now turned towards her. “Why would I mind?”
“Ok.” Olivia nodded and blinked again, aware that her surprise seemed to have stripped her of the ability to do anything else. “I’ll just go up and get Emma settled then.”
“I can do that.”
This time neither of the two women could disguise their astonishment as they looked round at Rafe, who held his hands up in mock despair. “What?” he demanded, turning to the young girl, who was in the process of extricating herself from Natalia’s arms, and bending down to meet her eye. “You want me to come read you a story, right Emma?”
“Sure.” Emma’s wide smile spoke volumes as she ran to Rafe’s side, after demanding goodnight kisses from both women, and eliciting a promise from her mother that she would look after Natalia properly until morning, when her nursing duties could resume. Rafe too kissed his mother goodnight and nodded civilly at Olivia, before following the little girl up the stairs
As soon as they had the room to themselves, Natalia turned Olivia, who had snuggled into Emma’s vacant spot on the sofa, and eyed her suspiciously. “Who are you, and what have you done with my son?” she whispered theatrically.
Olivia shrugged, feigning innocence. “I did nothing. I think he just needed a little time to figure things out.”
“Hmmm,” the other woman murmured, unsatisfied with the answer, but opting not to spoil the mood by pursuing the issue any further. She glanced briefly up the stairs to check that the two young people were out of sight before leaning in and touching her lips gently to Olivia’s. “Thank you,” she whispered, stroking the older woman’s cheek tenderly with the back of her hand.
Olivia merely shook her head and tightened her embrace, allowing herself to enjoy the moment. The tranquility was broken a few moments later by a series of noisy yawns from Natalia, at which point Olivia simply rose, took her good hand and led her up the stairs.
***
“Here, let me help you with that.” Olivia giggled and rose from her perch on the edge of the bed, where she had been enjoying Natalia’s cartoon-like attempts to undo her bra with her one good hand, while the bandaged one hung by her side.
Natalia smiled and turned to allow Olivia access to her back. Slowly, Olivia reached for the clasp and loosened it, feeling the younger woman shudder as her fingers made contact with soft skin, then slowly traced the straps of the bra upwards, towards the other woman’s shoulders. Natalia closed her eyes and exhaled deeply as Olivia pushed the straps gently down her arms, her fingers trailing across the sensitive skin and leaving goose pimples in their wake.
She didn’t move as Olivia removed the bra and tossed it onto the chair, then traced the outline of her spine and ribcage, eventually moving her hands round to cup the full breasts which were now exposed to the room.
“Oh God,” Natalia breathed, knowing her lightheadedness was nothing to do with a possible concussion as Olivia stroked strong thumbs across her nipples, which strained in response, and nuzzled into her collarbone, decorating her shoulders and neck with a series of featherlight kisses.
Natalia reached down to unbutton her jeans, determined not to lose focus on the task at hand, but Olivia quickly stopped her, gently covering the dark haired woman’s hands with her own.
“You heard the doctor. You’ve got to take it easy.” Tenderly, she lifted Natalia’s hands out of the way, and set about the button and zip herself, her hands grazing the insides of the other woman’s thighs in the process. Natalia moaned and leaned back into the older woman, overwhelmed by the sensation of Olivia’s fingers so close to where she had wanted them for so long.
The lighter haired woman crouched down and, tantalisingly slowly, she pulled Natalia’s trousers over her hips and to the ground, kissing a path down the back of her left thigh as she went. The younger woman stepped out of the jeans, now pooled on the floor, and turned to face Olivia, who did not rise from her position, but instead gripped Natalia’s hips with her hands, and began to kiss patterns across her stomach.
“What about the kids?” Natalia murmured reluctantly as her whole body seemed to arch forward towards Olivia’s mouth.
Olivia looked up and grinned mischievously. “We can be quiet.”
“And this?” Natalia held up her bandaged hand, raising her eyebrows in a question
“I’ll be careful,” Olivia promised as she stood up and gently led the other woman towards the bed.
“No, I mean...” Natalia turned a deep shade of red as Olivia, who had eased her onto the soft mattress and was now kneeling over her, sat back and eyed her expectantly.
“You mean what?” she teased.
“I can’t... I can’t... you know...” she inclined her head meaningfully towards Olivia’s groin area and rolled her eyes, hoping to make her meaning clear without the use of words.
Olivia laughed softly in response, lowering herself gently onto the other woman, as she strained to meet Natalia’s mouth with her own, gently slipping her tongue in between the other woman’s lips. “Doesn’t matter,” she whispered, in between kisses, mustering her last vestiges of self-control to disregard the current of sexual frustration now raging full pelt around her body. She continued speaking, punctuating her words with small flutters of her tongue against Natalia’s bottom lip while her fingers traced a path between the darker-haired woman’s breasts. “Tonight... it’s all about... me taking care... of you... ok?”
“Ok.” Natalia barely had time to voice her agreement before Olivia’s tongue once again probed hers, and any further protestations were lost in her soft moans as Olivia’s fingers roamed playfully across her stomach and thighs before finally finding their goal.
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Olivia / Natalia
Rating: 15 (well it is the finale!)
Disclaimer: I don’t own Guiding Light or any of the characters
Spoilers: Takes place directly after the episode of 12th June ‘09
Summary: Olivia helps Natalia to deal with Rafe’s reaction to their relationship
Author's Note: If you missed them, here's part 1, part 2 and part 3.
An extra long part to wrap this up :-)
Emma was the first to run to Natalia’s side when they entered the small hospital room. Natalia was sitting up in bed, evidently still a little woozy, but with her left hand neatly bandaged and no other trace of injury. She patted the bed with her good hand, and the girl instantly climbed up and snuggled into the crook of her arm.
Olivia followed closely, the smile on her face at Natalia’s interaction with her daughter standing in stark contrast to the fear and anxiety evident in her eyes. She approached the bed and covered Natalia’s hand with her own, her other hand stroking Emma’s hair, if only to stop herself cupping Natalia’s face and kissing her in sheer relief that she was alive and ok. She’d only been able to glean minimal information from the earlier hospital call, and beyond the fact that Natalia had cut herself and passed out, she’d had no idea as to the extent of her beloved’s injuries, consequently dreading what she might find.
“What happened?” she murmured softly.
Natalia shook her head slightly, the gesture imperceptible to all but the woman standing beside her. Natalia had suddenly found herself fighting back tears as Olivia’s caring tones brought back memories of the morning’s events, and she didn’t trust herself to speak.
She glanced over to the doorway, where Rafe hovered uncertainly, feeling every bit the outsider in the family tableau. She lifted her bandaged hand enough to beckon slightly to him, wincing at the sharp pain as she cupped her fingers.
“Come,” she said softly.
Rafe moved forward awkwardly to stand at her other side, and Natalia was somewhat suprised to note that he too seemed to be struggling with emotion.
“I’m sorry, ma,” he muttered, so quietly that Natalia had to strain her ears to catch what she said.
“Rafe, it’s...” she began, her voice breaking.
“No.” Rafe’s voice was firm. “No.” He couldn’t do this now. He was a man, for God’s sake. He had to stay strong. He’d survived jail, so why was his resolve failing him now? He could not break down in a room full of people. Especially not when those people included Olivia Spencer. Rafe knew that he was dangerously close to crying and he could not let that happen.
“Hey, Em.” He turned to the little girl, his voice forced and bright. “Want me to take you for a soda.”
“I want to take care of Natalia,” Emma answered, smiling up at her other mommy.
Olivia glanced uncertainly from Natalia to Rafe and back again, taking in both their anguished expressions, desperately trying to gauge the dynamic between them. Rafe obviously needed some time to himself, and she was dying to ask Natalia what he had said that morning. Even more importantly, her whole body was itching to be close to Natalia, and she couldn’t do that with the other two in the room. She lifted Emma down from the bed. “Go get a soda, sweetie. I’ll take care of Natalia. I promise.”
“Ok.” Reluctantly, Emma slipped her hand into Rafe’s as he all but ran from the room.
***
No sooner had they been left alone than Olivia cupped Natalia’s face in her hands and planted a relieved kiss on her forehead and another on her lips.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” she breathed, pulling back to gaze into the other woman’s dark eyes. Natalia looked up at her, her face so full of anguish that Olivia thought her heart would stop right there.
“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “I was just trying to surprise you.”
“Well you certainly did that,” Olivia joked, then regretted it instantly as Natalia’s expression crumpled and the tears began falling thick and fast.
“Baby. I didn’t mean...’ she hastily tried to backtrack, then gave up and sank down on the bed, contending with the pillows to wrap her arms as tightly around Natalia as she could manage.
“I was making a picnic.” Natalia gulped between sobs. “The carrots.. the knife... I don’t know...” She broke off the explanation and turned to look the other woman in the eye. “Oh Olivia, I said some awful things to him before.”
“It’s ok, sweetheart, it’s ok.” Olivia took a deep breath to control the tremor in her voice, and hoped the other woman couldn’t feel her hands shaking as she stroked her back and hair. She really was terrible at this. She was so out of her depth. She panicked if Emma fell on the playground for God’s sake. How she’d ever believed she could be what Natalia needed, she didn’t know. It was no surprise she’d earned herself the reputation she had if human emotion scared her so much... She took another deep breath, pushing back the unwelcome intrusions into her thoughts. Natalia had changed all that. That wasn’t her any more. Natalia had taken care of her so well. And it made her want to change. It made her want to be able to do this. She continued to soothe the other woman as Natalia stumbled over her teary fragmented explanations.
“I told him... it was his fault... I blamed him... he went away... I blamed him for leaving...”
“And what did he say?” Olivia probed gently.
“He said...” Natalia broke off, aware how much her response would hurt the other woman. Briefly, she considered lying, but realised that with everything that had happened, she didn’t have the energy for anything but the truth. “He said... that you and Emma aren’t his family...”
Natalia watched as all the colour drained from Olivia’s face and she seemed visibly to shrink, much as Natalia had done when she’d first heard the words, a few hours earlier.
When Olivia finally recovered her ability to speak, her voice was hesitant and uncertain. “That’s not what you think is it?” Her eyes remained trained on the floor, not trusting herself to look at the other woman.
In that moment, Natalia suddenly hated herself more than she ever had before. The woman she loved looked so lost, so small, so insecure, and Natalia couldn’t believe that she’d been the one to do that to her.
“No,” she garbled, stumbling over the words in her haste to get them out. “No. I love you Olivia. I love you and nothing will ever change that.”
And suddenly both women were crying, tears mingling as they held each other close, clinging to each other as they reaffirmed their love.
***
Rafe watched through the window in the hospital room door as his mother and Olivia hugged and Olivia planted small kisses across his mother’s face. He could tell both women were crying, and he felt tears return to his own eyes. Had he done this? Was this whole stupid situation all because of him? Emma’s hand lingered on the door handle, but Rafe put his own fingers out to stop her, instead scooping her up into his arms and burying his head in the soft cotton overing her small shoulder.
“Rafe?”
“Uh huh”
“Are you crying?” Emma’s voice was timid and tinged with concern.
“No, Em, I’m just.” Rafe broke off. Who the hell was he kidding. “Yeah, I’m crying.” He tipped the small girl backwards a little so that he could look her in the eye and smiled weakly. “But it’s a secret, ok?”
“Ok.” Emma nodded solemnly and threw her arms round his neck once more.
***
The emotions had cooled a little by the time the doctor entered the room an hour later, to tell Natalia that she was fine to go, on the condition that someone stayed with her to watch for signs of concussion, and that she returned in ten days time to have the stitches in her hand removed.
No sooner had they stepped outside the hospital than Natalia’s natural instincts began to take over and she felt compelled to take care of her brood. “I think we have some beef in the fridge... How about lasagne for dinner?”
“Now just you stop there.” Olivia’s voice was firm, and she crossed in front of Natalia, bringing her up short. “We are going to go home...” She blushed as Rafe raised his eyebrows ever so slightly. “... back to the farmhouse,” she corrected. “You are going to sit on the sofa and take it easy, and I...” she paused, emphasising the final word, “...I am going to make supper.”
“Ok,” Natalia nodded, too tired to protest. “Ok. That would be nice.”
***
They entered the farmhouse through the front door, and Olivia instantly settled Natalia on the couch with a movie, giving Emma strict orders to stop her if she so much as thought about helping, before heading towards the kitchen. Rafe, again hovering awkwardly on the edges of the family tableau, made to disappear upstairs, but Olivia stopped him in his tracks with a covert glare.
“Oh no you don’t. You’re helping me with dinner, young man.”
For a second, Rafe thought about defying her, but it had been a long day, and he didn’t have the energy. Besides, there was something in Olivia’s eyes which made him just a little wary, and he estimated rightly that he was skating on thin ice. Natalia raised her eyebrows in surprise as her son meekly followed Olivia into the other room, then turned her attention back to the television screen and the young nurse snuggled up beside her.
***
Rafe’s head was still spinning slightly from the activity of the day as he followed Olivia into the kitchen, then promptly crashed into her back as she stopped short.
“Wha...” he began, irritated, then trailed off, as over Olivia’s shoulder he caught sight of the bloody knife and tea towel, and the small pools of blood across the chopping board and floor.
“Shit,” he whistled under his breath.
Olivia turned to him, her face ashen. “The doctor said she didn’t lose a lot of blood,” she murmured in shocked disbelief, before seeming to snap herself out of her trance. “You stay here,” she commanded authoritatively, eyeing Rafe carefully. “And under no circumstances are you to let Emma or your mom through here until I’ve had a chance to clean this up.”
Rafe merely nodded, shaken by the reminder of the grim reality of the situation, and thankful for the first time he could remember that Olivia Spencer was around to take charge.
***
The clean-up operation complete, Olivia set Rafe to work on the onions, before crossing to the cupboard and pouring herself a generous helping of something strong. She set another glass in front of Rafe, who looked up at her in surprise.
“Don’t tell your mom. And for pity’s sake don’t tell Frank. But I figured you could use it.”
Rafe’s eye’s narrowed as he lifted the glass. Olivia’s hands were shaking slightly, her face was pale and he was pretty sure she’d been crying again. He didn’t get it. This wasn’t the Olivia he knew. The Olivia he’d known before he went away was cold and calculating. Nothing ever got in her way, and nothing ever got to her. That was the Olivia he’d seen when he arrived home last night, manipulating his mother to fit in with whatever little game she was playing, with no regard for who she hurt along the way. But the Olivia he’d seen at the hospital, the woman who was standing in his kitchen right now... she was kind, she was sincere, and she sure as hell knew how to take care of his mom. Without realising what he was doing, he groaned out loud. It was all so damn confusing. Everything seemed to have changed since he’d been away and he didn’t have a clue how to start to fit in.
He realised, as he drained the glass and set it down on the counter, that Olivia was watching him shrewdly, and he flushed slightly, praying to God that she hadn’t been able to read his thoughts.
“What did you say to her this morning?” Olivia asked him quietly, and Rafe was taken aback to note that there was more sadness than anger in her voice.
Rafe shrugged, embarrassed. “Nothing,” he stated sulkily.
Olivia raised her eyebrows, quickly losing her patience. “Nothing didn’t cause this,” she snapped and threw her hand out, indicating the now spotlessly clean kitchen. Rafe’s face fell, and Olivia instantly felt guilty. “I’m sorry,” she murmured grudgingly. “That was out of line. This wasn’t anybody’s fault.” Silently, she chastised herself, realising suddenly that however grown-up Rafe might think he was, however much she wanted to give him a piece of her mind for the way he’d been acting of late, she was still the adult in this situation and underneath the bravado he was nothing but a lost kid.
Rafe shrugged and abandoned the onions, sprawling defeatedly in a chair. “You’re probably right,” he admitted, uncharacteristically. “It’s just...” he hesitated again, reluctant to open up and Olivia gave him what she hoped was an encouraging look.
“It’s just... so much has changed since I’ve been gone. It used to be just me and Ma. And now... she’s got you and Emma... she doesn’t need me any more.”
Olivia took a deep breath as Rafe’s outburst hit her, and silently wondered how many more times that day her heart would be wrenched from her chest by the look on a Rivera’s face. She crouched down so that her eyes were level with his and took his hands in her own. He initially pulled back, but then relaxed and let her hold him, ultimately lifting his eyes to meet her gaze.
“Of course she still needs you Rafe,” she said softly. “And so do I.”
“You do?” There was no mistaking the skeptical surprise in Rafe’s expression as he pulled back and regarded Olivia quizzically.
“Yeah, I do.” She stood up and perched on the edge of the table, stretching out her legs to relieve the numbness. “Look, I’m not going to pretend this’ll be easy.” Olivia began bluntly. “And I know you probably think a lot of bad things about me. But I do love Natalia, and I want her to be happy. And I need you for that.” She paused. “Please? She can’t be happy without you.” She looked imploringly at Rafe.
“Ok,” Rafe nodded slowly. “Ok. But I’m not ready for this two mommies stuff just yet.” Olivia nodded, trying to concentrate on her inital small victory rather than the rejection implied in the rest of Rafe’s words. “I’m not Emma. I’m still easing back into all this family weirdness, and I need a little time, ok?”
Olivia nodded again, her relief evident on her face. “I reckon I can live with that.”
“So what now?” Rafe began slowly, a hopeful grin spreading across his face. “We have another drink to celebrate?”
Olivia swatted him playfully. “Now, you get on with those onions.”
***
“I’m tired,” Emma whined, yawning loudly some hours later.
Olivia stretched out in the armchair, where she’d been close to falling asleep, full of the deliciously successful dinner which she and Rafe had prepared and worn out with the drama of the day. “OK baby,” she smiled at her daughter, then reluctantly peeled herself off the chair, casting an apologetic smile at Natalia who was snuggled on the sofa with Emma, while Rafe lay sprawled on the floor in front of them, his head resting on his mother’s legs. “We should get going.”
“Wait.” Rafe jumped up, an edge of alarm to his voice. “Aren’t you going to stay tonight?”
Olivia raised her eyebrows questioningly, feeling more than a little disoriented.
“You heard the doctor,” Rafe continued, in full flow panic mode now. “She could have a concussion. What if something happens? You’re so much better at that stuff than me,” he finished, remembering the way Olivia had taken charge in the kitchen and eyeing her desperately
“Ok.” Olivia blinked and nodded slowly, catching Natalia’s eye, and frantically biting down on her lower lip to stop herself laughing at the panic in Rafe’s face. “Ok. I’ll stay. That’s if you don’t mind?” she added suddenly turning to Natalia, a hint of insecurity flitting across her face.
Emma tugged at Natalia’s arm, nodding frantically, her earnest expression willing her other Mommy to say yes. Natalia smiled and shrugged, subtle amusement evident on her features at the ambush and the three expectant faces now turned towards her. “Why would I mind?”
“Ok.” Olivia nodded and blinked again, aware that her surprise seemed to have stripped her of the ability to do anything else. “I’ll just go up and get Emma settled then.”
“I can do that.”
This time neither of the two women could disguise their astonishment as they looked round at Rafe, who held his hands up in mock despair. “What?” he demanded, turning to the young girl, who was in the process of extricating herself from Natalia’s arms, and bending down to meet her eye. “You want me to come read you a story, right Emma?”
“Sure.” Emma’s wide smile spoke volumes as she ran to Rafe’s side, after demanding goodnight kisses from both women, and eliciting a promise from her mother that she would look after Natalia properly until morning, when her nursing duties could resume. Rafe too kissed his mother goodnight and nodded civilly at Olivia, before following the little girl up the stairs
As soon as they had the room to themselves, Natalia turned Olivia, who had snuggled into Emma’s vacant spot on the sofa, and eyed her suspiciously. “Who are you, and what have you done with my son?” she whispered theatrically.
Olivia shrugged, feigning innocence. “I did nothing. I think he just needed a little time to figure things out.”
“Hmmm,” the other woman murmured, unsatisfied with the answer, but opting not to spoil the mood by pursuing the issue any further. She glanced briefly up the stairs to check that the two young people were out of sight before leaning in and touching her lips gently to Olivia’s. “Thank you,” she whispered, stroking the older woman’s cheek tenderly with the back of her hand.
Olivia merely shook her head and tightened her embrace, allowing herself to enjoy the moment. The tranquility was broken a few moments later by a series of noisy yawns from Natalia, at which point Olivia simply rose, took her good hand and led her up the stairs.
***
“Here, let me help you with that.” Olivia giggled and rose from her perch on the edge of the bed, where she had been enjoying Natalia’s cartoon-like attempts to undo her bra with her one good hand, while the bandaged one hung by her side.
Natalia smiled and turned to allow Olivia access to her back. Slowly, Olivia reached for the clasp and loosened it, feeling the younger woman shudder as her fingers made contact with soft skin, then slowly traced the straps of the bra upwards, towards the other woman’s shoulders. Natalia closed her eyes and exhaled deeply as Olivia pushed the straps gently down her arms, her fingers trailing across the sensitive skin and leaving goose pimples in their wake.
She didn’t move as Olivia removed the bra and tossed it onto the chair, then traced the outline of her spine and ribcage, eventually moving her hands round to cup the full breasts which were now exposed to the room.
“Oh God,” Natalia breathed, knowing her lightheadedness was nothing to do with a possible concussion as Olivia stroked strong thumbs across her nipples, which strained in response, and nuzzled into her collarbone, decorating her shoulders and neck with a series of featherlight kisses.
Natalia reached down to unbutton her jeans, determined not to lose focus on the task at hand, but Olivia quickly stopped her, gently covering the dark haired woman’s hands with her own.
“You heard the doctor. You’ve got to take it easy.” Tenderly, she lifted Natalia’s hands out of the way, and set about the button and zip herself, her hands grazing the insides of the other woman’s thighs in the process. Natalia moaned and leaned back into the older woman, overwhelmed by the sensation of Olivia’s fingers so close to where she had wanted them for so long.
The lighter haired woman crouched down and, tantalisingly slowly, she pulled Natalia’s trousers over her hips and to the ground, kissing a path down the back of her left thigh as she went. The younger woman stepped out of the jeans, now pooled on the floor, and turned to face Olivia, who did not rise from her position, but instead gripped Natalia’s hips with her hands, and began to kiss patterns across her stomach.
“What about the kids?” Natalia murmured reluctantly as her whole body seemed to arch forward towards Olivia’s mouth.
Olivia looked up and grinned mischievously. “We can be quiet.”
“And this?” Natalia held up her bandaged hand, raising her eyebrows in a question
“I’ll be careful,” Olivia promised as she stood up and gently led the other woman towards the bed.
“No, I mean...” Natalia turned a deep shade of red as Olivia, who had eased her onto the soft mattress and was now kneeling over her, sat back and eyed her expectantly.
“You mean what?” she teased.
“I can’t... I can’t... you know...” she inclined her head meaningfully towards Olivia’s groin area and rolled her eyes, hoping to make her meaning clear without the use of words.
Olivia laughed softly in response, lowering herself gently onto the other woman, as she strained to meet Natalia’s mouth with her own, gently slipping her tongue in between the other woman’s lips. “Doesn’t matter,” she whispered, in between kisses, mustering her last vestiges of self-control to disregard the current of sexual frustration now raging full pelt around her body. She continued speaking, punctuating her words with small flutters of her tongue against Natalia’s bottom lip while her fingers traced a path between the darker-haired woman’s breasts. “Tonight... it’s all about... me taking care... of you... ok?”
“Ok.” Natalia barely had time to voice her agreement before Olivia’s tongue once again probed hers, and any further protestations were lost in her soft moans as Olivia’s fingers roamed playfully across her stomach and thighs before finally finding their goal.