Fic: Pain (1/3)
Title: Pain
Author: laughsunshine
Rating: G for now.
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia - Guiding Light
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Olivia-centric. Inspired by this post & video by jeepy91 : http://community.livejournal.com/passion_perfect/1648045.html. Especially the :30 mark. Thank you Jeepy91 for making the video! The song & video combo is amazing. I kept listening/watching this video and felt utterly compelled to write something deep. CC's acting is so tremendous that I feel like I can feel what she portrays Olivia as feeling. If that made sense? Haha. Part two will be Natalia-centric. And the third part will be the resolve.
Pain was not new to Olivia. Random firings of nerve cells were a daily phenomenon ever since her heart transplant. And even before then, pain seemed to follow her. But this was not just simple, justifiable pain. This was hurting. This was torture. This was worse than any pain she's ever felt.
It was like someone was grabbing her heart and stretching it throughout her chest. It was like someone was crushing her ribs, pounding them relentlessly down, leaving her breathing disturbed. There was constant aching in all her limbs. Her eyes stung and her brain pulsated inside her skull. She used to be so strong, but she was now reduced to this. These symptoms weren't cause by a disorder, or a disease, or even her heart. These symptoms were caused by Natalia.
Olivia loved Natalia so much, and stereotypically, so much it hurt. She was standing across the hotel room, watching Natalia interact with various employees as usual and she just adored this woman. She was beautiful, nurturing, and everything she's ever wanted. She let this one woman into the deepest confines of her heart--the only person in the world, besides Emma, to travel there. She was the only person to know her, all of her, good and bad. And she was still here...not physically however.
The last couple days with Rafe had been hell on Olivia and the pain gets worse with each passing second. It hurts to keep her distance from Natalia. It hurts to stand all the way across the room. She can't stand not being able to physically show Natalia how much she loved her. She hated holding back the passion she used to pride herself on. She can't stand not being able to grab Natalia and just hold her close, and touch her. She wanted to be so close that their souls could merge into one. She wanted to be inside Natalia, to see how she thought, how she behaved, how she believed, and how she loved. Beyond skin; beyond flesh and bone. And at times, she just wanted to be Natalia.
Natalia looked over and smiled at the older woman. Olivia guessed that the brunette had no idea about the pain she was going through, the pain she made her feel. Olivia just frowned, looked away, and began fearing the cardiac bursts that would soon arrive. The burning underneath her skin. The watering of tears beginning to surface. She felt like crawling into a corner and shutting down completely.
Until...
Author: laughsunshine
Rating: G for now.
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia - Guiding Light
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Olivia-centric. Inspired by this post & video by jeepy91 : http://community.livejournal.com/passion_perfect/1648045.html. Especially the :30 mark. Thank you Jeepy91 for making the video! The song & video combo is amazing. I kept listening/watching this video and felt utterly compelled to write something deep. CC's acting is so tremendous that I feel like I can feel what she portrays Olivia as feeling. If that made sense? Haha. Part two will be Natalia-centric. And the third part will be the resolve.
Pain was not new to Olivia. Random firings of nerve cells were a daily phenomenon ever since her heart transplant. And even before then, pain seemed to follow her. But this was not just simple, justifiable pain. This was hurting. This was torture. This was worse than any pain she's ever felt.
It was like someone was grabbing her heart and stretching it throughout her chest. It was like someone was crushing her ribs, pounding them relentlessly down, leaving her breathing disturbed. There was constant aching in all her limbs. Her eyes stung and her brain pulsated inside her skull. She used to be so strong, but she was now reduced to this. These symptoms weren't cause by a disorder, or a disease, or even her heart. These symptoms were caused by Natalia.
Olivia loved Natalia so much, and stereotypically, so much it hurt. She was standing across the hotel room, watching Natalia interact with various employees as usual and she just adored this woman. She was beautiful, nurturing, and everything she's ever wanted. She let this one woman into the deepest confines of her heart--the only person in the world, besides Emma, to travel there. She was the only person to know her, all of her, good and bad. And she was still here...not physically however.
The last couple days with Rafe had been hell on Olivia and the pain gets worse with each passing second. It hurts to keep her distance from Natalia. It hurts to stand all the way across the room. She can't stand not being able to physically show Natalia how much she loved her. She hated holding back the passion she used to pride herself on. She can't stand not being able to grab Natalia and just hold her close, and touch her. She wanted to be so close that their souls could merge into one. She wanted to be inside Natalia, to see how she thought, how she behaved, how she believed, and how she loved. Beyond skin; beyond flesh and bone. And at times, she just wanted to be Natalia.
Natalia looked over and smiled at the older woman. Olivia guessed that the brunette had no idea about the pain she was going through, the pain she made her feel. Olivia just frowned, looked away, and began fearing the cardiac bursts that would soon arrive. The burning underneath her skin. The watering of tears beginning to surface. She felt like crawling into a corner and shutting down completely.
Until...