AS PROMISED: Ranting notes while I read your story
-he called him sir -hahaha it's a hipster and sheldon -i think you mean his hackles rise up -omg, its not sheldon. It's CODY. hahaha -"started dragged Jackson off back" should be "started dragging"
I guess there should have been more notes than that. I thought those blond bitches were funny. And I like Noah and Jackson. They're cute. And neither of them has an incest problem. I hope one day they kiss.
These didn't read like ranting, but thank you for pointing out stuff. I think I read it a million times, and probably couldn't pick out the mistakes.
lol, I thought you might like the little tslod throwback, but I think maybe Jackson is a little more bitchy than Cody is. Cody's way too good-natured.
And also, I kind of want to write like a porny interlude or something instead of continuing this thing in the same vein. Like, as if this were fic I was writing instead of original fiction, and I'm just writing a bunch of different fic for the same pairing. Or something. Does that make sense? Because I don't really think I could write something that's coherently 20k+, without meandering about and not having much plot happen.
Obvs, you're for the porn, I assume. But I like them too, much more than the other ones I created for the other exercises (perhaps to do with the lack of sadness). So maybe more ~deeper feelings to come, than just porny goodness (pssh goodness, I'm crap at it)!
well I think you have to finish the party scene. I'm assuming that's what the rest of the thousands of words you've written are about that. you could make several timestamps for this? Cuz like...some people acutally write books that way.
Yeah, Jackson is a weird Cody/Sheldon hybrid.
and yes, the lack of sadness makes them more likable. Perhaps you have made the same discovery that I have; that characters don't have to be all I AM DAMAGED AND SAD to be compelling.
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-he called him sir
-hahaha it's a hipster and sheldon
-i think you mean his hackles rise up
-omg, its not sheldon. It's CODY. hahaha
-"started dragged Jackson off back" should be "started dragging"
I guess there should have been more notes than that. I thought those blond bitches were funny. And I like Noah and Jackson. They're cute. And neither of them has an incest problem. I hope one day they kiss.
Reply
lol, I thought you might like the little tslod throwback, but I think maybe Jackson is a little more bitchy than Cody is. Cody's way too good-natured.
And also, I kind of want to write like a porny interlude or something instead of continuing this thing in the same vein. Like, as if this were fic I was writing instead of original fiction, and I'm just writing a bunch of different fic for the same pairing. Or something. Does that make sense? Because I don't really think I could write something that's coherently 20k+, without meandering about and not having much plot happen.
Obvs, you're for the porn, I assume. But I like them too, much more than the other ones I created for the other exercises (perhaps to do with the lack of sadness). So maybe more ~deeper feelings to come, than just porny goodness (pssh goodness, I'm crap at it)!
Reply
Yeah, Jackson is a weird Cody/Sheldon hybrid.
and yes, the lack of sadness makes them more likable. Perhaps you have made the same discovery that I have; that characters don't have to be all I AM DAMAGED AND SAD to be compelling.
(that semi colon felt really pretentious)
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