We're in trouble

[pas_beancounter]

So Ella has been having accidents as of late. She gets really mad and pees. She's been to the doctor twice in the last week because we were sure that she was sick and the first time she probably was. After all, she spent Friday night with a temp between 101 and 102 and was vomiting. On Saturday, the doctor told us a virus has been going around

Comments

[phynngrrl_23]

What does she value? This really sounds like the kind of thing to discuss with a child psychoilogist!

Do you think she's striking out at you because you are back to working so much? Daddy, too? Would she act that way around grandma and aunt and cousin or does she value their respect more than yours?

This reminds me of when my nephew was about 4 and his dad did something to piss him off. I don't remeber what is was. I do remember that Drew smeared poop onto my brother's hairbrush and then cold-bloodedly told him about it the next day after my brother had brushed his hair. I think the real punishment for that was that he had to buy Daddy a new hairbrush out of his own money--- but I seem to remember he got an ass-beating, too.

[pas_beancounter]

I'm not sure if we need a child psychologist or not. She is getting pushed at pretty hard from both of us right now. We're not letting her get away with running around the house like an Aborigine anymore. She must wear clothes. That's been making her pretty mad. She pees because of her dad too. Most of this has started since he came back from DC. That seems to have caused a lot of problems. When he would put her to bed, she would get mad and throw a fit. The culmination of that would be her urinating in her bed. I should have explained the peeing on me and in my shoes better. I had my legs loosely crossed and was on the floor with her. She was standing in the middle of my legs. When she got to her boiling point, I thought she has finally calmed down. Instead, she peed and it got on me. With the shoes, she was wearing my shoes and walking all around the house. She got mad because Rich wasn't with her because oddly enough he wanted to take a shower. When she didn't get her way, she peed and my shoes were filled

[ceejishi]

Wow, Freud would have fun with this one!

[pas_beancounter]

I need to re-read my posts better. I'm reading that now and thinking... IDIOT!

[knitgrrl]

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing the hardest job in the world.

We all need the chance to pull this kind of stuff out, examine it, and ask for a fresh perspective. Or just let it all out when we can't keep it in and mulling any longer.

[phynngrrl_23]

I thought I posted quite a bit here...

Well, if not-- It sounds like Ella is NOT having accidents. They're "On Purposes."

I remember you mentioned seeing a counselor. Maybe they could give you a bit of insight into how you react to Ella's behavior. If you can't get her to stop through authoritative channels, changing your own reaction may be the only way to deal with it in the long run. When she no longer gets the attention or reaction she wants, she'll change her behavior. At least this is a widely believed theory that I have discussed with several of my own therapists.

[pommymommy76]

You know, she is only two. Two year olds do many things to act out. I really wouldn't worry about Ella. She is acting out for a reason, but I am betting the change of scenery will help, and she will be back to "normal" (whatever that is for a 2-year old) when you get home. I should also remind you that their stages go as quickly as they come. Hang in there, and keep reminding her if she doesn't go potty in the potty, she will not get her "reward," ie M&M, sticker, whatever. When she does pee where she shouldn't, she wants you to notice. She wants a response. Don't give it to her. Quietly tell her she is a big girl now, and big girls need to go only in the potty. Clean up the mess, and move on. I know, easier said than done. We're going through similar things with our two-year old.

[pommymommy76]

Ha ha ha!! It's a good solution! If only.......!