I want to fall to my knees and beg for his forgiveness. I want to take back all the pain I caused him that drove him to that place, and ultimately caused so much pain for so many others
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And, in case you hear it enough times that you eventually, maybe years from now, start to believe it: it's not your fault. Any suicide is the result of an illness as real as any physical disease, and that's not your fault.
I'm only on the fringes of this friend circle, but you're all such phenomenal people and I care about you a lot. Feel free to call or get in touch.
There are a million things I could say right now about how this isn't your fault, but I would feel exactly the same way. All I can say is that he loves you and wouldn't want you to carry around this guilt for the rest of your life. It will get better, eventually, and until then just imagine that, even though all you want is to cry alone in a little ball for the rest of eternity, there are a whole bunch of people around you (trying to be strong) reaching out to pull you out of the void. Love. E.
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You're in my thoughts.
And, in case you hear it enough times that you eventually, maybe years from now, start to believe it: it's not your fault. Any suicide is the result of an illness as real as any physical disease, and that's not your fault.
I'm only on the fringes of this friend circle, but you're all such phenomenal people and I care about you a lot. Feel free to call or get in touch.
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