Still not enough, chapter 5
Series: Still not enough
Chapter: 5
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Reid had a nice New Years night with a gigolo he can't get out of his head (Reid's POV).
Sequel of the Yule challenge 2915 entry: Not enough
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta and encouragement!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
I don't know why I had delayed our contact because when he sat next to me I felt my body relax. Listening to his professional voice and seeing him playing with his pen I felt a huge amount of pressure falling off my shoulders. I had made this a big problem in my head, I thought that when I saw him again all I could think about was sex but it turned out that we were able to start a civil discussion.
At first I didn't dare look at him but when things heated up a little I tilted my head and saw him. Met the same insecurity I felt, saw the apology in his eyes and his sweaty hands and realized that he was as nervous as I was. I had to focus on his words because when I looked at his lips I didn't hear a thing he said. And he said something I couldn't believe.
"So all the donations with the name Walsh are yours?", I asked in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me and why didn't you use your real name?".
He was silent for a while and then asked Steven to leave the room. "Reid", he said softly, "you made it perfectly clear that you didn't want any contact so I respected that. I wanted to give money to the foundation because it's a great cause but I didn't want you to feel bad about it, I didn't want you to know because I ...I didn't want you to think that I was buying myself a way into your life".
"Were you?", I asked flat.
That hesitation again in his eyes, it was such a different setting than our night together, when he knew the ropes. "To be honest, no. I just wanted the project to flourish Reid so I donated under my grandmother's name, I always do. But I didn't tell you and that didn't feel good but I didn't want to cross a line you drew. Steven tells me about the progress and I am happy for you, you have achieved so much in so little time".
"Yeah with your help everything is so easy", I said more grumpy than I meant. I had no idea what he wanted and less idea about what I had to do. The ticking of his pen on the table distracted me so much that I lay my hand on his to stop the sound but I hadn't been thinking about the physical response it would evoke in me: feeling his warm hand made that I wanted to caress it, make him relax because he was obviously upset and freaking out being alone with me.
"Sorry", he said. "I have this habit of irritating the hell out of people when I am nervous".
"But it's me Luke, why should you be nervous? We are having a working relationship and we can handle that. We are going to talk about figures and goals and we will be okay".
Why couldn't I help myself and caressed his hand although I knew I shouldn't? I was the one who said that he didn't want to see him again but I was driving him crazy sending all kinds of mixed signals. And I couldn't stop myself; words left my mouth which I wanted to take back.
"I have missed you", I said softly, still covering his hand with mine. "I can't stop thinking about New Year’s eve. And I know that nothing has changed but I just want you to know that you have given me the most special night ever".
He looked up at me, surprised and a bit sad. "I know what you mean Reid, I feel the same way and like then I don't see a solution but know that I liked it too. We could be a great pair".
¨If you would get a little neather", I said without thinking.
Luke finally smiled at least a bit; I noticed that I was waiting for his wonderful laugh he had used so much when he was with me. It hadn't been fake like all the rest he did wasn't, he didn't pretend to want me but obviously he thought that he couldn't deliver what I needed.
"So you think I am a slob?", he said. "Then you know me better than is good for me, I am a terrible housekeeper, that's why I have a maid".
"Why do you protect your life so much Luke? Why can't I get to know you? You know I want to invest time in you, in an us. I want you to feel relaxed around me. I don't expect anything from you. I just want a hint of Edward back, the guy who seemed sorrow-free and who made such an impression on me".
"But Edward is dead and he made an impression I can't make Reid, don't you understand how hard this is for me? I love your fund, I like you as a person.....".
I grabbed his hand in mine and did something so out of character that it made me smirk: I kissed it, I deliberately placed my lips on his flesh and kissed it while I looked at him. His pupils dilated and he inhaled deeply but he let me do what I needed to do.
"Of course I see how hard this is for you Luke but I don't want this to be a task, I want you to act like the CEO you are. When you came to my house you knew exactly what I needed and that was a turn-on. Don't let me be someone who makes you feel nervous, I want to be a friend you like to see.
And of course I know you can't be my whore, even when we would start to date I know you don't to have sex so we have to figure out a way to deal with that. But you are more than your body, you said it yourself, you are a smart, sexy and funny guy and I also miss that part of you. I miss your laugh".
Slowly he turned his hand and we sat like that for a while, caressing the other, looking into each other's eyes in the hope to find a solution there. But if it had been easy we would be together already.
When my beeper got off I freaked out. I clumsily stood up, taking my hand out of his. "I have to go", I said with a lump in my throat.
Luke stood up as well and followed me to the door. I turned around but he didn't stop, he pushed me against the door and kissed me softly on my lips. I felt my body melt again, like the night when we had been together; my cock got hard while he let his fingers run through my hair. I opened my mouth and invited him in, he eagerly gave in and touched my soul with his kissing, his passion. I heard myself moan but I didn't care, I wanted him to know how much he meant to me and how fast he could turn me on. Maybe it was a thing he didn't want to know but I had to show him that I couldn't be without him anymore.
NEXT CHAPTER
Chapter: 5
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Reid had a nice New Years night with a gigolo he can't get out of his head (Reid's POV).
Sequel of the Yule challenge 2915 entry: Not enough
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta and encouragement!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
I don't know why I had delayed our contact because when he sat next to me I felt my body relax. Listening to his professional voice and seeing him playing with his pen I felt a huge amount of pressure falling off my shoulders. I had made this a big problem in my head, I thought that when I saw him again all I could think about was sex but it turned out that we were able to start a civil discussion.
At first I didn't dare look at him but when things heated up a little I tilted my head and saw him. Met the same insecurity I felt, saw the apology in his eyes and his sweaty hands and realized that he was as nervous as I was. I had to focus on his words because when I looked at his lips I didn't hear a thing he said. And he said something I couldn't believe.
"So all the donations with the name Walsh are yours?", I asked in disbelief. "Why didn't you tell me and why didn't you use your real name?".
He was silent for a while and then asked Steven to leave the room. "Reid", he said softly, "you made it perfectly clear that you didn't want any contact so I respected that. I wanted to give money to the foundation because it's a great cause but I didn't want you to feel bad about it, I didn't want you to know because I ...I didn't want you to think that I was buying myself a way into your life".
"Were you?", I asked flat.
That hesitation again in his eyes, it was such a different setting than our night together, when he knew the ropes. "To be honest, no. I just wanted the project to flourish Reid so I donated under my grandmother's name, I always do. But I didn't tell you and that didn't feel good but I didn't want to cross a line you drew. Steven tells me about the progress and I am happy for you, you have achieved so much in so little time".
"Yeah with your help everything is so easy", I said more grumpy than I meant. I had no idea what he wanted and less idea about what I had to do. The ticking of his pen on the table distracted me so much that I lay my hand on his to stop the sound but I hadn't been thinking about the physical response it would evoke in me: feeling his warm hand made that I wanted to caress it, make him relax because he was obviously upset and freaking out being alone with me.
"Sorry", he said. "I have this habit of irritating the hell out of people when I am nervous".
"But it's me Luke, why should you be nervous? We are having a working relationship and we can handle that. We are going to talk about figures and goals and we will be okay".
Why couldn't I help myself and caressed his hand although I knew I shouldn't? I was the one who said that he didn't want to see him again but I was driving him crazy sending all kinds of mixed signals. And I couldn't stop myself; words left my mouth which I wanted to take back.
"I have missed you", I said softly, still covering his hand with mine. "I can't stop thinking about New Year’s eve. And I know that nothing has changed but I just want you to know that you have given me the most special night ever".
He looked up at me, surprised and a bit sad. "I know what you mean Reid, I feel the same way and like then I don't see a solution but know that I liked it too. We could be a great pair".
¨If you would get a little neather", I said without thinking.
Luke finally smiled at least a bit; I noticed that I was waiting for his wonderful laugh he had used so much when he was with me. It hadn't been fake like all the rest he did wasn't, he didn't pretend to want me but obviously he thought that he couldn't deliver what I needed.
"So you think I am a slob?", he said. "Then you know me better than is good for me, I am a terrible housekeeper, that's why I have a maid".
"Why do you protect your life so much Luke? Why can't I get to know you? You know I want to invest time in you, in an us. I want you to feel relaxed around me. I don't expect anything from you. I just want a hint of Edward back, the guy who seemed sorrow-free and who made such an impression on me".
"But Edward is dead and he made an impression I can't make Reid, don't you understand how hard this is for me? I love your fund, I like you as a person.....".
I grabbed his hand in mine and did something so out of character that it made me smirk: I kissed it, I deliberately placed my lips on his flesh and kissed it while I looked at him. His pupils dilated and he inhaled deeply but he let me do what I needed to do.
"Of course I see how hard this is for you Luke but I don't want this to be a task, I want you to act like the CEO you are. When you came to my house you knew exactly what I needed and that was a turn-on. Don't let me be someone who makes you feel nervous, I want to be a friend you like to see.
And of course I know you can't be my whore, even when we would start to date I know you don't to have sex so we have to figure out a way to deal with that. But you are more than your body, you said it yourself, you are a smart, sexy and funny guy and I also miss that part of you. I miss your laugh".
Slowly he turned his hand and we sat like that for a while, caressing the other, looking into each other's eyes in the hope to find a solution there. But if it had been easy we would be together already.
When my beeper got off I freaked out. I clumsily stood up, taking my hand out of his. "I have to go", I said with a lump in my throat.
Luke stood up as well and followed me to the door. I turned around but he didn't stop, he pushed me against the door and kissed me softly on my lips. I felt my body melt again, like the night when we had been together; my cock got hard while he let his fingers run through my hair. I opened my mouth and invited him in, he eagerly gave in and touched my soul with his kissing, his passion. I heard myself moan but I didn't care, I wanted him to know how much he meant to me and how fast he could turn me on. Maybe it was a thing he didn't want to know but I had to show him that I couldn't be without him anymore.
NEXT CHAPTER