Fresh start: chapter 27
Series: Fresh start
Chapter: 27
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Reid is a neuro surgeon in Dallas with a burn out who tries to figure out what life is really about (Reid's POV).
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
It was funny that he was bouncing the question back to me: what do you need? I had been waiting for him to come up with a plan but he didn't have a clue or he didn't mind, he wanted to hear what I had to say.
And I, I had no idea although I was 36. My work wasn't the most important thing in the world anymore so I had to envision myself doing something in my spare time.
The possibilities were endless and somehow that was a bit scary, what was I supposed to do? I never had more than a day off since I started med school so I didn't have hobbies or fiends. I had no clue how other people spend their time.
"Maybe I can go to a gym?", I asked and heard how doubtful my voice sounded.
"What did you do for fun in Dallas?", Luke asked.
"I didn't have time for fun Luke", I said. "I was working 24/7; my colleagues were the people I knew. When I was home I slept. What did you do when you were with Noah? Apart from the sex?".
"We didn't have much sex Reid, and looking back it was just boring. When we were interns at WOAK we worked hard and after that we went to LA where Noah worked and studied hard. I also studied and worked so we didn't even tan there, we were always busy.
That's why I feel a bit lost right now; I never had this much free time on my hands. We have to start a hobby. Maybe you can see your horse a bit more; my dad asked me if you are going to ride her any time soon. She needs to get to know you he said".
"Yes I'd like that, it's a pity that you don't like horses, it would be so much fun to ride together", I said.
"Well maybe in time I am going to try it, my dad had a new horse and he said it's a sweet animal. He said he bought it for me, isn't that nice?. But we were talking about you, what were your dreams when you got here?".
I tried to remember who I was back then, not so long ago. I was on an adventure, leaving my old life behind without knowing what the world would offer me. I never would have guessed that I would have a boyfriend so soon, a guy who turned my world upside down in a good way. For whom I wanted to change if he needed me to. If he wanted to live with me I would make room for him in my closet and in my life, I was sure of that.
"I wanted to start over and live in my own house, that was a dream. Aaron made that that part is already finished, he did a remarkable job. And I wanted to take care of my horse; maybe we can make a fence next week so I can bring Charlotte here. That would be awesome. And maybe in a while I can call my brother and see if he wants to meet me, I haven't seen him in 16 years. I want you to meet him, the only family I have".
"You have managed to start living your dream Reid", Luke said while he looked at me.
"It's so much better than what I hoped for Luke", I said, "I never expected to find the man of my dreams here but I have, you are the love of my life. So talking about what I want, I hope that you and I are going to stay together for years; I want you close to me because you make me happy.
I love to watch you as you are right now, curled up in my rocking chair, feeding the pig. I would like it if you move in with me, I have to be honest about that, but I don't know if I will be a good roommate, I have never cohabitated before".
Luke grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "I have Reid but looking back I wasn't so much fun, I always argued with Noah. I don't want a life like that again, but being with you I am not afraid that that is going to happen".
"But you are afraid of something, right?", I asked.
"Not afraid maybe but I don't want to move in here because it's convenient, do you understand that? I have done a lot of things in my life because it was so much easier to say yes without thinking it through, I went to LA with Noah because he could make it there and I let go of my dream of becoming a writer easily, why did I do that? Why did I never stood up for my own happiness?".
I caressed his hand and kissed it. This guy had everything: looks, money, a family, a booming business but still he was so self-conscious. Maybe it was a good phase he was going through, figuring out what he wanted without any pressure.
"Maybe your idea about seeing a therapist isn't such a bad one Luke", I said. "If you need help to find your direction then find someone who can help you. I have talked to Peter when I didn’t know what I wanted; it was a good experience although I was very skeptical about it at first".
Luke smirked. "But that changed when you met your therapist and you were attracted to him", he said.
I looked at him. "Yes I liked him and in a way it was the start of my new life, in which I felt that I needed someone next to me, a man who could make my blood flow, I have never felt that before. Isn't that weird, that you can live a life you think you like but looking back you don't know what was so good about it? Sometimes I think that I have wasted so many years".
Luke leaned towards me and kissed me on my cheek. "I feel the exact same way sometimes but thinking about what you said earlier I can only see a great future in front of us. We don't have to forget the past or ask why we acted like we did, we have to learn from it and create a life we like. That's all we can do really, maybe that's what life is all about, being happy in the here and now. And I am Reid, with you I feel so freaking happy".
"Me too", I said. "It feels like a fresh start for the both of us, it's exciting and scary but I have faith that we are going to make the best of it Luke. I missed you so much when you were at your mother's house, with Noah. I was so jealous, so afraid that you would start something with him again. We are going to be honest, right?".
"Don't ever be afraid again that I am going to start something again with Noah Reid", Luke said in a serious tone. "I know now that we are not good for each other. I am a horrible person around him. I am going to break the ties I have with him in the next month or so, we are going to his apartment, or better said my apartment and we are going to talk, the three of us".
"Why do you need me to go with you? ", I asked and I felt a shiver running down my spine. I didn't want to be a spectator of their house, their stuff, their history.
Luke locked eyes with me. "If you don't want to go then it's okay Reid", he said. "But I want you to be there because you are my man, and I want the whole world to know how proud I am with you, and happy.
I want you to meet Noah and I want to show you that I am certain about you. You don't have to defend me or choose sides; I just want you to be a part of my life, every aspect of it.
I know you are jealous at Noah but I want you to see for yourself that there is nothing left between us. And I want Noah to see that I am serious about you, I want us to start a way of interacting in which we all respect each other but understand the new ties. I am tied to you Reid, with every vessel in my body, not in a submissive way but in a way that makes me complete. I know I sound like Oprah but it's true, you are my everything and I want everyone in my family to know that".
NEXT CHAPTER
Chapter: 27
Written by: Parishs
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Reid is a neuro surgeon in Dallas with a burn out who tries to figure out what life is really about (Reid's POV).
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Thanks to zzzfreckles (Pamela) for the beta!!!
PREVIOUS CHAPTER
It was funny that he was bouncing the question back to me: what do you need? I had been waiting for him to come up with a plan but he didn't have a clue or he didn't mind, he wanted to hear what I had to say.
And I, I had no idea although I was 36. My work wasn't the most important thing in the world anymore so I had to envision myself doing something in my spare time.
The possibilities were endless and somehow that was a bit scary, what was I supposed to do? I never had more than a day off since I started med school so I didn't have hobbies or fiends. I had no clue how other people spend their time.
"Maybe I can go to a gym?", I asked and heard how doubtful my voice sounded.
"What did you do for fun in Dallas?", Luke asked.
"I didn't have time for fun Luke", I said. "I was working 24/7; my colleagues were the people I knew. When I was home I slept. What did you do when you were with Noah? Apart from the sex?".
"We didn't have much sex Reid, and looking back it was just boring. When we were interns at WOAK we worked hard and after that we went to LA where Noah worked and studied hard. I also studied and worked so we didn't even tan there, we were always busy.
That's why I feel a bit lost right now; I never had this much free time on my hands. We have to start a hobby. Maybe you can see your horse a bit more; my dad asked me if you are going to ride her any time soon. She needs to get to know you he said".
"Yes I'd like that, it's a pity that you don't like horses, it would be so much fun to ride together", I said.
"Well maybe in time I am going to try it, my dad had a new horse and he said it's a sweet animal. He said he bought it for me, isn't that nice?. But we were talking about you, what were your dreams when you got here?".
I tried to remember who I was back then, not so long ago. I was on an adventure, leaving my old life behind without knowing what the world would offer me. I never would have guessed that I would have a boyfriend so soon, a guy who turned my world upside down in a good way. For whom I wanted to change if he needed me to. If he wanted to live with me I would make room for him in my closet and in my life, I was sure of that.
"I wanted to start over and live in my own house, that was a dream. Aaron made that that part is already finished, he did a remarkable job. And I wanted to take care of my horse; maybe we can make a fence next week so I can bring Charlotte here. That would be awesome. And maybe in a while I can call my brother and see if he wants to meet me, I haven't seen him in 16 years. I want you to meet him, the only family I have".
"You have managed to start living your dream Reid", Luke said while he looked at me.
"It's so much better than what I hoped for Luke", I said, "I never expected to find the man of my dreams here but I have, you are the love of my life. So talking about what I want, I hope that you and I are going to stay together for years; I want you close to me because you make me happy.
I love to watch you as you are right now, curled up in my rocking chair, feeding the pig. I would like it if you move in with me, I have to be honest about that, but I don't know if I will be a good roommate, I have never cohabitated before".
Luke grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "I have Reid but looking back I wasn't so much fun, I always argued with Noah. I don't want a life like that again, but being with you I am not afraid that that is going to happen".
"But you are afraid of something, right?", I asked.
"Not afraid maybe but I don't want to move in here because it's convenient, do you understand that? I have done a lot of things in my life because it was so much easier to say yes without thinking it through, I went to LA with Noah because he could make it there and I let go of my dream of becoming a writer easily, why did I do that? Why did I never stood up for my own happiness?".
I caressed his hand and kissed it. This guy had everything: looks, money, a family, a booming business but still he was so self-conscious. Maybe it was a good phase he was going through, figuring out what he wanted without any pressure.
"Maybe your idea about seeing a therapist isn't such a bad one Luke", I said. "If you need help to find your direction then find someone who can help you. I have talked to Peter when I didn’t know what I wanted; it was a good experience although I was very skeptical about it at first".
Luke smirked. "But that changed when you met your therapist and you were attracted to him", he said.
I looked at him. "Yes I liked him and in a way it was the start of my new life, in which I felt that I needed someone next to me, a man who could make my blood flow, I have never felt that before. Isn't that weird, that you can live a life you think you like but looking back you don't know what was so good about it? Sometimes I think that I have wasted so many years".
Luke leaned towards me and kissed me on my cheek. "I feel the exact same way sometimes but thinking about what you said earlier I can only see a great future in front of us. We don't have to forget the past or ask why we acted like we did, we have to learn from it and create a life we like. That's all we can do really, maybe that's what life is all about, being happy in the here and now. And I am Reid, with you I feel so freaking happy".
"Me too", I said. "It feels like a fresh start for the both of us, it's exciting and scary but I have faith that we are going to make the best of it Luke. I missed you so much when you were at your mother's house, with Noah. I was so jealous, so afraid that you would start something with him again. We are going to be honest, right?".
"Don't ever be afraid again that I am going to start something again with Noah Reid", Luke said in a serious tone. "I know now that we are not good for each other. I am a horrible person around him. I am going to break the ties I have with him in the next month or so, we are going to his apartment, or better said my apartment and we are going to talk, the three of us".
"Why do you need me to go with you? ", I asked and I felt a shiver running down my spine. I didn't want to be a spectator of their house, their stuff, their history.
Luke locked eyes with me. "If you don't want to go then it's okay Reid", he said. "But I want you to be there because you are my man, and I want the whole world to know how proud I am with you, and happy.
I want you to meet Noah and I want to show you that I am certain about you. You don't have to defend me or choose sides; I just want you to be a part of my life, every aspect of it.
I know you are jealous at Noah but I want you to see for yourself that there is nothing left between us. And I want Noah to see that I am serious about you, I want us to start a way of interacting in which we all respect each other but understand the new ties. I am tied to you Reid, with every vessel in my body, not in a submissive way but in a way that makes me complete. I know I sound like Oprah but it's true, you are my everything and I want everyone in my family to know that".
NEXT CHAPTER